The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (352 page)

Deadly divorce step between me and you!

O my dear mother, do I see you living?

If you can't understand and it's not true

then may we get divorced!

Oh my dear mother, are you alive?

LAFEU

Mine eyes smell onions; I shall weep anon:

To PAROLLES

Good Tom Drum, lend me a handkercher: so,

I thank thee: wait on me home, I'll make sport with thee:

Let thy courtesies alone, they are scurvy ones.

My eyes feel like I've been chopping onions; I shall cry soon:

Good Tom Drum, lend me a handkerchief: good,

thank you: wait for me at home, we'll have some fun:

don't bother with your thanks, it's worthless.

KING

Let us from point to point this story know,

To make the even truth in pleasure flow.

To DIANA

If thou be'st yet a fresh uncropped flower,

Choose thou thy husband, and I'll pay thy dower;

For I can guess that by thy honest aid

Thou keep'st a wife herself, thyself a maid.

Of that and all the progress, more or less,

Resolvedly more leisure shall express:

All yet seems well; and if it end so meet,

The bitter past, more welcome is the sweet.

Let me know this story from beginning to end,

let's enjoy the truth.

If you are in fact still a virgin,

choose yourself a husband, and I'll pay your dowry;

I can see that with your playful help

you have given a wife back her position, and stayed a virgin.

We'll learn all about this in good time:

Everything seems to have turned out for the best; and if it ends so well

the bitterness of the past makes this sweetness more welcome.

Flourish

EPILOGUE

KING

The king's a beggar, now the play is done:

All is well ended, if this suit be won,

That you express content; which we will pay,

With strife to please you, day exceeding day:

Ours be your patience then, and yours our parts;

Your gentle hands lend us, and take our hearts.

The play is over, now the King is a beggar:

Everything has ended well, if we have succeeded

in pleasing you; we make our best efforts

to do this, day after day:

now it's time for you to act for us;

give us your applause, and we will be grateful.

Exeunt

DUKE, living in exile

FREDERICK, Brother to the Duke, and Usurper of his Dominions

AMIENS, Lord attending on the Duke in his Banishment

JAQUES, Lord attending on the Duke in his Banishment

LE BEAU, a Courtier attending upon Frederick

CHARLES, his Wrestler

OLIVER, Son of Sir Rowland de Bois

JAQUES, Son of Sir Rowland de Bois

ORLANDO, Son of Sir Rowland de Bois

ADAM, Servant to Oliver

DENNIS, Servant to Oliver

TOUCHSTONE, a Clown

SIR OLIVER MARTEXT, a Vicar

CORIN, Shepherd

SILVIUS, Shepherd

WILLIAM, a Country Fellow, in love with Audrey.

A person representing HYMEN.

ROSALIND, Daughter to the banished Duke

CELIA, Daughter to Frederick

PHEBE, a Shepherdess

AUDREY, a Country Wench

Lords belonging to the two Dukes; Pages, Foresters, and other Attendants.

Enter ORLANDO and ADAM

ORLANDO

As I remember, Adam, it was upon this fashion

bequeathed me by will but poor a thousand crowns,

and, as thou sayest, charged my brother, on his

blessing, to breed me well: and there begins my

sadness. My brother Jaques he keeps at school, and

report speaks goldenly of his profit: for my part,

he keeps me rustically at home, or, to speak more

properly, stays me here at home unkept; for call you

that keeping for a gentleman of my birth, that

differs not from the stalling of an ox? His horses

are bred better; for, besides that they are fair

with their feeding, they are taught their manage,

and to that end riders dearly hired: but I, his

brother, gain nothing under him but growth; for the

which his animals on his dunghills are as much

bound to him as I. Besides this nothing that he so

plentifully gives me, the something that nature gave

me his countenance seems to take from me: he lets

me feed with his hinds, bars me the place of a

brother, and, as much as in him lies, mines my

gentility with my education. This is it, Adam, that

grieves me; and the spirit of my father, which I

think is within me, begins to mutiny against this

servitude: I will no longer endure it, though yet I

know no wise remedy how to avoid it.

Adam, I remember that this was why

my father left me only a thousand crowns in his will

and, like you said, tasked my brother,

while blessing him, to raise me. This began my

sad problems. My brother, Oliver, keeps my other brother, Jacques, at school,

where everyone says he is doing very well, but me

he keeps here at home in the country, or to be

more exact, cages me here. Do you think

that it is fitting for such a noble man as me

to be in the same situation as an ox? Oliver’s horses

are treated better than me:

they are fed well and they are trained

by well paid trainers. Meanwhile, I, his

own brother, get nothing from his care, unless you count growing and maturing naturally –

his animals, sitting on piles of dung and manure, get

as much from him and are just as tied to him. He gives me

a lot of nothing, and even my noble birthrights

he has taken away from me: he

makes me eat with his servants, doesn’t let me have what is rightfully mine as his

brother, and, as much as he can, ruins

my upbringing by refusing me a proper education. This, Adam,

is why I am sad. My father’s spirit – and I

think I share his independence – begs me to rebel against this

servanthood. I will stand for this no longer, even though

I am not sure how to put a stop to it.

ADAM

Yonder comes my master, your brother.

Here comes your brother, my master.

ORLANDO

Go apart, Adam, and thou shalt hear how he will

shake me up.

Go hide, Adam, and you will hear how

poorly he treats me.

Enter OLIVER

OLIVER

Now, sir! what make you here?

Hello, you! What are you doing here?

ORLANDO

Nothing: I am not taught to make any thing.

Nothing – I was never taught how to do anything.

OLIVER

What mar you then, sir?

Then what are you destroying?

ORLANDO

Marry, sir, I am helping you to mar that which God

made, a poor unworthy brother of yours, with idleness.