The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (118 page)

at the moment as Richard was when

I landed at Ravenspurgh from France,

and Percy is like I was then.

Now I swear by my sceptre, and my soul as well,

he has qualities which suit him for a claim to the state,

while you just have the weak one of heredity.

Without any right, or anything resembling a right,

he fills the fields of the kingdom with armed men,

turning his head towards the Royal Army,

and though he is no older than you

he leads ancient lords and distinguished bishops

into bloody battles, and bruising fights.

What immortal honour he gained

against the famous Douglas! Douglas, whose

great deeds, whose hearty invasions and great

reputation as a soldier make him acknowledged by

all other soldiers as the greatest of them

throughout all the kingdoms of Christendom.

Three times this Hotspur, Mars in swaddling clothes,

this child warrior, has in his efforts

unsettled great Douglas, captured him once,

honoured him, and made a friend of him,

to increase the chorus of defiance,

and shake the peace and safety of my throne.

And what you think of this? Percy, Northumberland,

the Archbishop of York, Douglas, Mortimer,

have all signed an agreement against me and are revolting.

But why do I tell you this news?

Why, Harry, do I tell you of my enemies,

when you are my nearest and dearest enemy?

You who are likely enough, through peasant fear,

low inclination, and a fit of ill temper,

to fight against me in Percy's service,

to follow at his heels, and curtsy at his frowns,

to show what a degenerate you are.

PRINCE.

Do not think so; you shall not find it so:

And God forgive them that so much have sway'd

Your Majesty's good thoughts away from me!

I will redeem all this on Percy's head,

And, in the closing of some glorious day,

Be bold to tell you that I am your son;

When I will wear a garment all of blood,

And stain my favour in a bloody mask,

Which, wash'd away, shall scour my shame with it:

And that shall be the day, whene'er it lights,

That this same child of honour and renown,

This gallant Hotspur, this all-praised knight,

And your unthought-of Harry, chance to meet.

For every honour sitting on his helm,

Would they were multitudes, and on my head

My shames redoubled! for the time will come,

That I shall make this northern youth exchange

His glorious deeds for my indignities.

Percy is but my factor, good my lord,

T' engross up glorious deeds on my behalf;

And I will call hall to so strict account,

That he shall render every glory up,

Yea, even the slightest worship of his time,

Or I will tear the reckoning from his heart.

This, in the name of God, I promise here:

The which if I perform, and do survive,

I do beseech your Majesty, may salve

The long-grown wounds of my intemperance:

If not, the end of life cancels all bands;

And I will die a hundred thousand deaths

Ere break the smallest parcel of this vow.

Do not think so, this will not happen;

and God forgive those who have persuaded

your Majesty to think of me like this!

I will redeem myself by fighting Percy,

and at the end of some glorious battle

I shall boldly tell you I am your son,

when my garments will be covered in blood,

and my face covered with a bloody mask,

which, when I wash it away, will wash my shame away with it;

and that will be the day, whenever it comes,

that this renowned and honoured man,

this gallant Hotspur, this widely praised knight,

and your disregarded Harry shall meet.

For every honour that he has won,

I wish each one was multiplied, and that

all my shame could be doubled! For the time will come

when I shall make this young Northerner exchange

his glorious deeds for my shames.

Percy is just my agent, my good lord,

who gathers up glorious deeds on my behalf,

and I will call him to such a strict account

that he will give up every glory he has won,

every ounce of honour in his life,

or I will tear the payment out of his heart.

I promise this now in the name of God,

and if He is good enough to let me succeed,

I beg your Majesty to let that heal

the pain I have caused him through my bad behaviour:

if not, death cancels all debts,

and I will die a hundred thousand deaths

before I break the tiniest part of this promise.

KING.

A hundred thousand rebels die in this.

Thou shalt have charge and sovereign trust herein.--

[Enter Sir Walter Blunt.]

How now, good Blunt! thy looks are full of speed.

A hundred thousand rebels die as you speak.

You shall have the command and the trust of your king.

Hello there, good Blunt! You look in a hurry.

BLUNT.

So is the business that I come to speak of.

Lord Mortimer of Scotland hath sent word

That Douglas and the English rebels met

Th' eleventh of this month at Shrewsbury:

A mighty and a fearful head they are,

If promises be kept on every hand,

As ever offer'd foul play in a State.

What I've come to tell you demands hurry.

Lord Mortimer of Scotland has sent word

that Douglas and the English rebels met

on the eleventh of this month at Shrewsbury:

they are as great and as fearful a force,

if everyone keeps their promises,

as has ever tried to overthrow a state.

KING.

The Earl of Westmoreland set forth to-day;

With him my son, Lord John of Lancaster;

For this advertisement is five days old.

On Wednesday next you, Harry, shall set forward;

On Thursday we ourselves will march:

Our meeting is Bridgenorth:and, Harry, you

Shall march through Glostershire; by which account,

Our business valued, some twelve days hence

Our general forces at Bridgenorth shall meet.

Our hands are full of business:let's away;

Advantage feeds him fat, while men delay.

[Exeunt.]

The Earl of Westmorland set out today;

with him went my son, Lord John of Lancaster;

for this information is five days old.

Next Wednesday you, Harry, shall set out;

on Thursday I will march myself:

we shall rendezvous at Bridgnorth: and, Harry, you

shall march through Gloucestershire; by my reckoning,

for everything we have to do, we shall meet twelve days from now

with our whole army at Bridgnorth.

We have plenty to do: let's get going;

the enemy will gain an advantage if we delay.

[Enter Falstaff and Bardolph.]

FAL.

Bardolph, am I not fallen away vilely since this last action? do I

not bate? do I not dwindle? Why, my skin hangs about me like an

old lady's loose gown; I am withered like an old apple-John.

Well, I'll repent, and that suddenly, while I am in some liking; I

shall be out of heart shortly, and then I shall have no strength to

repent.

An I have not forgotten what the inside of a church is made of, I

am a peppercorn, a brewer's horse:the inside of a church!

Company, villainous company, hath been the spoil of me.

Bardolph, haven't I declined terribly since this last exploit? Haven't I

lost weight? Aren’t I shrinking? Why, my skin hangs on me like an

old lady's dressing gown; I am withered like an old apple.

Well, I'll repent, and do it suddenly, while I'm still whole; I

shall be in such poor condition soon that I shall have no strength to repent.

If I can remember what the inside of a church looks like, I

am a peppercorn, a brewer's horse: the inside of a church!

Company, evil company, has been the death of me.

BARD.

Sir John, you are so fretful, you cannot live long.

Sir John, you worry so much, you can't live long.

FAL.

Why, there is it:come, sing me a song; make me merry. I was as

virtuously given as a gentleman need to be; virtuous enough; swore

little; diced not above seven times a week; paid money that I borrowed

--three or four times; lived well, and in good compass:and now I live

out of all order, out of all compass.

Why, that's it: come on, sing their songs; make me merry. I was as

good as a gentleman needs to be; good enough; I didn't swear

much; didn't gamble more than seven times a week; paid money that I had borrowed

–three or four times; lived well, within good limits: and now I live

all disordered, with no limits.

BARD.

Why, you are so fat, Sir John, that you must needs be out of all

compass, --out of all reasonable compass, Sir John.

Why, you are so fat, Sir John, that you will always be

beyond the limit–beyond any reasonable limit, Sir John.

FAL.

Do thou amend thy face, and I'll amend my life:thou art our admiral,

thou bearest the lantern in the poop,--but 'tis in the nose of thee;

thou art the Knight of the Burning Lamp.

You change your face, and I'll change my lifestyle: you are our Admiral,

you carry the lantern for our ship–that's your glowing red nose,

you are the Knight of the Burning Lamp.

BARD.

Why, Sir John, my face does you no harm.

Why, Sir John, my face does you no harm.

FAL.

No, I'll be sworn; I make as good use of it as many a man doth of a

death's-head or a memento mori:I never see thy face but I think upon

hell-fire, and Dives that lived in purple; for there he is in his robes,

burning, burning. If thou wert any way given to virtue, I would swear

by thy face; my oath should be, By this fire, that's God's angel:but