The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (114 page)

PRINCE.

This oily rascal is known as well as Paul's. Go, call him forth.

This oily rascal is as well known as St Paul's Cathedral. Go, call him here.

POINTZ.

Falstaff!--fast asleep behind the arras, and snorting like a

horse.

Falstaff! Fast asleep behind the arras, and snorting like a

horse.

PRINCE.

Hark, how hard he fetches breath. Search his pockets.

[Pointz searches.]

What hast thou found?

Listen to how heavily he breathes. Search his pockets.

What have you found?

POINTZ.

Nothing but papers, my lord.

Just papers, my lord.

PRINCE.

Let's see what they be:read them.

Let's see what they are: read them.

POINTZ.

[reads]

Item, A capon, . . . . . . . . .2s. 2d.

Item, Sauce, . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4d.

Item, Sack two gallons ,. . . 5s. 8d.

Item, Anchovies and sack after supper,2s. 6d.

Item, Bread, . . . . . . . . . . . . . .ob.

Item, a chicken, two shillings and twopence.

Item, sauce, fourpence.

Item, sack, two gallons, five shillings and eightpence.

Item, anchovies and sack after supper, two shillings and sixpence.

Item, bread, halfpenny.

PRINCE.

O monstrous! but one half-pennyworth of bread to this intolerable

deal of sack! What there is else, keep close; we'll read it at more

advantage:there let him sleep till day.

I'll to the Court in the morning. We must all to the wars, and thy

place shall be honourable. I'll procure this fat rogue a charge of

foot; and I know his death will be a march of twelve-score. The money

shall be paid back again with advantage. Be with me betimes in the

morning; and so, good morrow, Pointz.

O monstrous! Just one halfpenny's worth of bread for this intolerable

quantity of sack! Hang onto whatever else there is; will read it when we have more time: let him sleep there until daylight.

I'll go to the court in the morning. We must all go to the wars, and you shall have

an honourable position. I'll get this fat rogue command of a company

of infantry; I know he'll be dead within twelve paces. The money

shall be paid back with interest. Come to me early in the morning;

and so, good day, Pointz
.

POINTZ.

Good morrow, good my lord.

Good day, my good lord.

[Exeunt.]

[Enter Hotspur, Worcester, Mortimer, and Glendower.]

MORT.

These promises are fair, the parties sure,

And our induction full of prosperous hope.

These promises are fair, the parties are loyal,

and this opening shows every chance of success.

HOT.

Lord Mortimer,--and cousin Glendower,--Will you sit down?--

And uncle Worcester,--A plague upon it!I have forgot the map.

Lord Mortimer–and cousin Glendower–will you sit down?–

And uncle Worcester–dammit! I have forgotten the map.

GLEND.

No, here it is.

Sit, cousin Percy; sit, good cousin Hotspur;

For by that name as oft as Lancaster

Doth speak of you, his cheek looks pale, and with

A rising sigh he wisheth you in Heaven.

No, here it is.

Sit, cousin Percy; sit, good cousin Hotspur;

for it's by that name that Lancaster often

speaks of you, he turns pale, and with

a long sigh he wishes you were in heaven.

HOT.

And you in Hell, as oft as he hears Owen Glendower spoke of.

And you in hell, every time he hears Owen Glendower spoken of.

GLEND.

I cannot blame him:at my nativity

The front of heaven was full of fiery shapes,

Of burning cressets; ay, and at my birth

The frame and huge foundation of the Earth

Shaked like a coward.

I don't blame him: when I was born

the whole sky was full of fiery shapes,

like beacons; yes, and at my birth

the earth trembled from top to toe

like a coward.

HOT.

Why, so it would have done at the same season, if your mother's

cat had but kitten'd, though yourself had never been born.

Why, it would have done that at that time anyway, if it was

just your mother's cat having kittens, if you yourself had never been born.

GLEND.

I say the Earth did shake when I was born.

I'm telling you, the Earth shook when I was born.

HOT.

And I say the Earth was not of my mind, if you suppose as

fearing you it shook.

And I say that the Earth was thinking differently to me,

if you think it shook for fear of you.

GLEND.

The Heavens were all on fire, the Earth did tremble.

The heavens were all on fire, the Earth trembled.

HOT.

O, then th' Earth shook to see the Heavens on fire,

And not in fear of your nativity.

Diseased Nature oftentimes breaks forth

In strange eruptions; oft the teeming Earth

Is with a kind of colic pinch'd and vex'd

By the imprisoning of unruly wind

Within her womb; which, for enlargement striving,

Shakes the old beldam Earth, and topples down

Steeples and moss-grown towers. At your birth,

Our grandam Earth, having this distemperature,

In passion shook.

Oh, then the Earth shook to see the skies on fire,

and not out of fear at your birth.

Diseased nature often erupts

in peculiar ways, often the squirming earth

is pinched with a kind of stomach ache,

when some unruly wind gets trapped

deep down inside, and as it tries to swell

it shakes old grandmother Earth, and throws down

steeples and ancient towers. At your birth

our grandmother Earth had this illness,

and shook with passion.

GLEND.

Cousin, of many men

I do not bear these crossings. Give me leave

To tell you once again, that at my birth

The front of heaven was full of fiery shapes;

The goats ran from the mountains, and the herds

Were strangely clamorous to the frighted fields.

These signs have mark'd me extraordinary;

And all the courses of my life do show

I am not in the roll of common men.

Where is he living,--clipp'd in with the sea

That chides the banks of England, Scotland, Wales,--

Which calls me pupil, or hath read to me?

And bring him out that is but woman's son

Can trace me in the tedious ways of art,

And hold me pace in deep experiments.

Cousin, I wouldn't take these insults

from many men. Allow me

to tell you once again, that at my birth

the sky of heaven was full of fiery shapes;

the goats ran from the mountains, and the herds

shouted strange noises to the frightened fields.

These signs marked me out as extraordinary,

and everything I've done in my life shows

I am not like other men.

Show me anyone on this island bound by sea,

in England, Scotland or Wales,

who can call me his pupil or has tutored me?

Bring out anyone who is born of woman

who can follow me in the difficult paths of science,

who can keep up with me in complicated experiments.

HOT.

I think there is no man speaks better Welsh.--I'll to dinner.

I don't think any man speaks better Welsh. I'm going to dinner.

MORT.

Peace, cousin Percy; you will make him mad.

Quiet, cousin Percy; you will make him angry.

GLEND.

I can call spirits from the vasty deep.

I can call up spirits from the great ocean.

HOT.

Why, so can I, or so can any man;

But will they come when you do call for them?

Why, so can I, and so can any man;

but will they come when you call for them?

GLEND.

Why, I can teach you, cousin, to command the Devil.

Why, I can teach you, cousin, to summon up the Devil.

HOT.

And I can teach thee, coz, to shame the Devil

By telling truth:tell truth, and shame the Devil.

If thou have power to raise him, bring him hither,

And I'll be sworn I've power to shame him hence.

O, while you live, tell truth, and shame the Devil!

And I can teach you, cousin, to make the devil ashamed

by telling the truth: tell the truth, and shame the devil.

If you have the power to summon him, bring him here,

and I swear that I have the power to send him away again in shame.

Oh, while you live, tell the truth, and shame the devil!

MORT.

Come, come, no more of this unprofitable chat.

Come, come, no more of this useless talk.

GLEND.

Three times hath Henry Bolingbroke made head

Against my power; thrice from the banks of Wye