The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (116 page)

I swear, he is a good gentleman;

he's very well read, and expert

in secret arts; brave as a lion,

and amazingly friendly, and as bountiful

as the mines in India. Shall I tell you something, cousin?

He has a very great respect for you,

and reins in his natural inclinations

when you annoy him; I swear, he does:

I promise you, there isn't a man alive

who could have pushed him as far as you have done

without any danger or punishment:

but don't try too often, I beg you.

WOR.

In faith, my lord, you are too wilful-blame;

And since your coming hither have done enough

To put him quite beside his patience.

You must needs learn, lord, to amend this fault:

Though sometimes it show greatness, courage, blood--

And that's the dearest grace it renders you,--

Yet oftentimes it doth present harsh rage,

Defect of manners, want of government,

Pride, haughtiness, opinion, and disdain;

The least of which haunting a nobleman

Loseth men's hearts, and leaves behind a stain

Upon the beauty of all parts besides,

Beguiling them of commendation.

I swear, my lord, you are too wilful;

since he came here you've done enough

to put him quite out of temper.

You must learn, lord, not to do this:

although sometimes it can show greatness, courage, good breeding–

and it has given you that noble grace/

but often it looks like harsh anger,

a lack of manners, of self-control,

pride, haughtiness, arrogance and disdain;

and if a nobleman has any of these qualities

he will lose the hearts of men, and pollutes

all his good parts as well,

taking away people's good opinion of them.

HOT.

Well, I am school'd:good manners be your speed!

Here come our wives, and let us take our leave.

Well, I have been told: let's hope good manners win battles!

Here come our wives, let's say goodbye to them.

[Re-enter Glendower, with Lady Mortimer and Lady Percy.]

MORT.

This is the deadly spite that angers me,

My wife can speak no English, I no Welsh.

This is the terrible curse that angers me,

my wife cannot speak English, and I can't speak Welsh.

GLEND.

My daughter weeps:she will not part with you;

She'll be a soldier too, she'll to the wars.

My daughter weeps: she doesn't want to leave you;

she wants to be a soldier too, she wants to go to the war.

MORT.

Good father, tell her that she and my aunt Percy

Shall follow in your conduct speedily.

Good father, tell her that she and my aunt Percy

will soon follow under your escort.

[Glendower speaks to Lady Mortimer in Welsh, and she answers

him in the same.]

GLEND.

She's desperate here; a peevish self-will'd harlotry,

One that no persuasion can do good upon.

She is desperate here; she's being wilful and sullen,

there's nothing I can do to change her mind.

[Lady Mortimer speaks to Mortimer in Welsh.]

MORT.

I understand thy looks:that pretty Welsh

Which thou pour'st down from these swelling heavens

I am too perfect in; and, but for shame,

In such a parley should I answer thee.

[Lady Mortimer speaks to him again in Welsh.]

I understand thy kisses, and thou mine,

And that's a feeling disputation:

But I will never be a truant, love,

Till I have learn'd thy language; for thy tongue

Makes Welsh as sweet as ditties highly penn'd,

Sung by a fair queen in a Summer's bower,

With ravishing division, to her lute.

I understand your looks: the pretty Welsh

which is pouring down from those swelling heavens

is easy for me to read; and, if it wasn't for fear of being ashamed,

I would answer you in the same language.

I understand your kisses, and you understand mine,

and we can exchange our feelings:

but I will never leave off learning, love,

until I have learned your language; for your tongue

makes Welsh as sweet as the greatest poetry,

sung by a fair Queen in a summer glade,

playing brilliantly on her lute.

GLEND.

Nay, if you melt, then will she run mad.

No, if you start crying then she will go mad.

[Lady Mortimer speaks to Mortimer again in Welsh.]

MORT.

O, I am ignorance itself in this!

Oh, I don't understand a word of this!

GLEND.

She bids you on the wanton rushes lay you down,

And rest your gentle head upon her lap,

And she will sing the song that pleaseth you,

And on your eyelids crown the god of sleep,

Charming your blood with pleasing heaviness;

Making such difference betwixt wake and sleep,

As is the difference betwixt day and night,

The hour before the heavenly-harness'd team

Begins his golden progress in the East.

She asks you to lie down on the luxuriant rushes,

and rest your gentle head upon her lap,

and she will sing the song you like,

and send you off to sleep,

charming your blood with a sweet drowsiness,

making the same difference between waking and sleeping

as the difference between day and night,

the hour before the sun rises in the east.

MORT.

With all my heart I'll sit and hear her sing:

By that time will our book, I think, be drawn.

With all my heart I shall sit and hear her sing:

by that time I think our contract will be drawn up.

GLEND.

Do so:

An those musicians that shall play to you

Hang in the air a thousand leagues from hence,

And straight they shall be here:sit, and attend.

Do so:

and those musicians that will play to you

are in the air thousands of miles away,

and they will be here at once: sit, and listen.

HOT.

Come, Kate, thou art perfect in lying down:come, quick,

quick, that I may lay my head in thy lap.

Come, Kate, you're very good at lying down: come, quickly,

quickly, so I can put my head in your lap.

LADY P.

Go, ye giddy goose.

Give over, you giddy goose.

[The music plays.]

HOT.

Now I perceive the Devil understands Welsh;

And 'tis no marvel he's so humorous.

By'r Lady, he's a good musician.

Now I see the devil can speak Welsh;

it's no surprise he's so changeable.

I swear, he's a good musician.

LADY P.

Then should you be nothing but musical; for you are

altogether governed by humours. Lie still, ye thief, and hear

the lady sing in Welsh.

So you should be nothing but musical; for you are

as changeable as anybody. Keep still, you scoundrel, and listen

to the lady singing in Welsh.

HOT.

I had rather hear Lady, my brach, howl in Irish.

I would rather hear my bitch howl in Irish.

LADY P.

Wouldst thou have thy head broken?

Do you want a broken head?

HOT.

No.

No.

LADY P.

Then be still.

Then keep still.

HOT.

Neither; 'tis a woman's fault.

I shan't; that's for women.

LADY P.

Now God help thee!

Now God help you!

HOT.

Peace! she sings.

Hush! She's singing.

[A Welsh song by Lady Mortimer.]

Come, Kate, I'll have your song too.

Come, Kate, give us a song too.

LADY P.

Not mine, in good sooth.

I shan't, I swear.

HOT.

Not yours, in good sooth! 'Heart! you swear like a

comfit-maker's wife. Not mine, in good sooth; and, As true

as I live; and, As God shall mend me; and, As sure as day;

And givest such sarcenet surety for thy oaths,

As if thou ne'er walk'dst further than Finsbury.

Swear me, Kate, like a lady as thou art,

A good mouth-filling oath; and leave in sooth,

And such protest of pepper-gingerbread,

To velvet-guards and Sunday-citizens. Come, sing.

You shan't, you swear! By God! You swear like a

confectioner's wife. You shan't, you swear; and “as true

as I live" and “as God shall mend me" and “as sure as day";

your oaths are so insignificant one would think

you had never gone further than Finsbury.

Swear to me Kate, like the lady you are,

a good meaty oath; and leave saying “in truth"

and other such footling swearing

to the Sunday tourists. Come along, sing.

LADY P.

I will not sing.

I shall not sing.

HOT.

'Tis the next way to turn tailor, or be redbreast-teacher.

An the indentures be drawn, I'll away within these two hours;

and so, come in when ye will.

Alright, it only turns one into a tailor, or a songbird teacher.

Once the contracts are drawn up, I'll be off within two hours;

and so, come inside when you want.

[Exit.]

GLEND.

Come, come, Lord Mortimer; you are as slow

As hot Lord Percy is on fire to go.

By this our book's drawn; we'll but seal, and then

To horse immediately.

Come, come, Lord Mortimer; you are as reluctant

to go as hot Lord Percy is keen.

Our contract has been finished; we just have to seal it, and then

we'll go straight off.

MORT.

With all my heart.

I totally agree.

[Exeunt.]