Sweet Obsession (41 page)

I strolled in the gardens and saw Nidal standing with his back to me. I walked up to him and placed my hand on his shoulders. He turned and looked right at me. I do not remember exactly what happened next. All I could say was that I somehow ended up in his arms. Every fiber in my body was screaming for him to touch me. I melted in his arms as he kissed me passionately.

“Shaeena’s baby is not mine, Loula. The baby you carry in your womb is mine, and do not even try to deny it,” he said.

He knew the truth, but I did not admit it or deny it. I was speechless. All I wanted to do was lie down on the grass and have Nidal make sweet love to me. When he was inside me, all my pain vanished, as if I had not a care in the world. Nothing else mattered to me besides this man. Nothing.

Spent, we lay in each other’s arms and whispered sweet nothings to each other as lovers do, promises we knew we could not keep, but at the moment, it was just what we needed to hear. When it was time to go, we quietly dressed and headed back toward the palace, but not before promising each other that we would meet again here in this spot whenever we had a chance.

As we walked around the bushes and we were almost near the water fountain, Billal stepped in front of us. His hands folded into fists at his sides, and his piercing eyes sent shivers through out my entire body.

“The king has asked for our audience,” he stated coldly.

He took me by the hand and led me away, marching the both of us to the palace. It was hard for me to leave Nidal behind, but I knew I could not say a word.
Billal knows
, I thought as my heart sank.
It’s only a matter of time before he accuses me of having an affair
.

In the tearoom, the king and queen greeted us when we entered. I could tell that the queen was not happy about something and guessed it had to do with the announcement that the king was about to make. When Nidal walked in, the king announced that Billal and I were to get married on the morrow. My heart stopped beating. I plastered a fake smile on my face.
What am I going to do?
The rest of the time spent in the room was a blur to me. I was too overwhelmed with sadness to even react to anything.

Later on, during dinner, Billal and I entered the dining room and sat in our usual chairs across from Nidal. Shaeena’s chair was empty. Nothing prepared me for what happened during dinner. Nidal had his foot up between my legs, and I lost myself in ecstasy as he caressed my most private part. I was oblivious to my surroundings as the tingling feeling had already started from the top of my head all the way down to my toes, and just as I was at the point of no return, Nidal pulled his foot away, as if he were punishing me for the turnabout in his life, as if it were all my fault. I stared at him, stunned, not believing what he had just done to me. Even though he had pulled his foot away, my body continued its course, and at that moment, I came so hard and so fast that I almost screamed.

I checked myself just in time as the electricity coursed throughout my body and almost knocked me off my chair. I clamped my lips shut, fearing my passion might escape my lips unknowingly. My fingers tightly pulled on the napkin I held. And slowly as the beautiful feeling started to dissolve, I looked over at Nidal and saw him staring at me with a knowing look. He motioned toward the door, and I too let him know without words that I would meet him later that night in the gardens.

It was hard to play the waiting game. Billal and I left the dining room and headed toward our room. As I climbed the stairs alongside Billal, he brushed my bottom lightly with his hand. We entered the room silently, and Billal turned me around and kissed me passionately. I allowed him to. I closed my eyes and pretended it was Nidal, my prince, who held me and kissed me. And it worked. My imagination took over, and I allowed Billal to continue kissing me until he had enough of my lips.

Finally, he stopped abruptly and looked at me, not understanding why I so easily allowed him to kiss me. I stood there silently until Billal figured out the truth and stepped back in disbelief. Embarrassed, I sighed, turned, and walked away. I wished this drama would end fast and he would just sleep and I could run to my lover in the gardens. I knew he waited for me there, and I trembled with lust at the thought of him.

Finally, Billal shut his eyes and fell asleep. I waited until I heard the slow rhythm of his breathing that assured me he was sleeping. Then I slid slowly out of bed and ran barefoot to the door. I swung it open slowly and closed it behind me softly, afraid I might awaken Billal. Then I ran as fast as I could down the stairs. The marble floor was cold against my bare feet, but I couldn’t have cared less as I ran past the sleeping guard who was posted at the front doorway. I smiled at the sound of his snoring, thinking that, so far, it was easy to sneak out of the palace. I pushed open the back doors that led to the gardens and ran as fast as I could through them until I reached the bushes where I knew Nidal would be waiting.

And he was there. I could see him. Even though the torches were almost ready to burn out, I could see his beautiful face. The moon was full tonight, and it cast its beams on my lover’s face. My heart skipped a beat. We made love all night. It wasn’t the kind of sex that everyone has. Ours was different. When we made love, it was like we were two artists who were creating an art that was unique. Our hands brushed each other’s skin, and with each stroke, the art got more colorful and more creative. It was like we were creating a masterpiece. As we blended all the right colors, our bodies melted and became one creation under God. It was magical. It was one of a kind, this love of ours. And I felt ecstatically happy.

Finally, the time came for us to go back inside the palace, each to our room. My heart sank at the thought of parting from Nidal, but the moon was lost in the sky as it made way for the sun to rise. It was crucial that we did not get caught. Too much was at stake if we were found out. Reluctantly, Nidal pulled me to my feet and kissed me tenderly one more time. Then we walked back to the palace.

Entering the palace, I ran up the stairs, and my heart was thumping so fast that I thought it would burst. I slowly opened the door and walked inside my room. I closed the door quietly behind me, and then I slipped back into bed. As I lay my head down on the pillow, I thought I saw Billal’s eyes open and look right at me. The dawn’s light was enough for me to see him looking at me, but when I blinked my eyes a few times, Billal’s eyes were closed. He looked like he was sleeping peacefully. Alarmed, I stared at him for what seemed like hours, waiting to see if he would open them again. I wondered if I were just paranoid and thought his eyes were open when they really were not. But I was not sure now what the truth was. To make matters worse, I was going to marry Billal today unless by some miracle something happened to prevent the matrimony from taking place. Tears rolled down my eyes as I tried to be still and not make a sound. I did not want Billal to wake up and start asking questions. At some point, I fell asleep and rested my troubled mind.

What seemed like only a few hours later, Billal awakened me with a warm kiss on my lips. He took the liberty and caressed my exposed breast as his mouth continued to kiss me. I did not have the power to withdraw, feeling guilty from the night before. I kissed him back because my body was responding to his touch. My body betrayed me as I slid closer to him and wrapped my arms around him. I might as well get used to him touching me because I was to become his wife today.

A few minutes later, we heard the banging on our door and jumped up from our little experiment. I heard Billal say, “Enter.” The door swung open, and the servant walked in excitedly as she said almost out of breath that the king had suffered a heart attack. My mouth dropped at the news I just heard.
Could it be? Could it be true? Is the king dying?
I didn’t know what to make of it. I heard Billal behind me shuffle around the room, collecting his belongings, dressing quickly, and running out of the room.

“Billal!”

Billal stopped in his tracks for a brief second and stuck his head through the doorway. “Loula, I must go and see for myself if what the servant claims is true. Then I have to take control of the palace because Nidal will be by his father’s bedside. I am sorry, but I need to leave immediately.” He left, and I heard him running down the stairs as he yelled orders to the guards.

I slumped on the bed, a little dizzy from all the excitement. I did not know what to make of it all.
Am I happy the king might die and I could be free to marry Nidal, or am I sad for Nidal that his father might pass away and he would be left with only one parent?
My heart played tug-of-war with those two options. To be free of Billal and Nidal free of Shaeena. We could marry and live a life full of happiness. I spent the rest of the morning daydreaming of a life with Nidal by my side.

In the afternoon, the servants brought me my lunch on a tray and placed it next to my bed on the bedside table. There was chicken and potatoes, a salad, and freshly squeezed orange juice, but that was not what caught my attention. Next to the plates of food, there was a single rose and a folded piece of paper. With trembling hands, I reached over and grabbed the note, thinking it was from Nidal. But the note was from Billal, telling me how much he missed me and how he looked forward to tonight. I did not touch my food. I had suddenly lost my appetite. I knew what Billal meant by his words. He thought I finally accepted him as my betrothed and he wanted to claim my body tonight.

I stayed in my room the entire day, not wanting to show my face around the palace. This was a depressing day for me. When the servants came and removed the tray, I asked them of the king’s health. They told me that he survived the attack. My heart was heavy with sadness. Not that I wished him dead, but my life would have been a lot less complicated had he died.

I needed to speak with Nidal, but I knew it was impossible to do so. First, he was probably at his father’s bedside. Second, he was going to take charge of the palace until his father got better. This thought made me sad. Nidal was going to be busy the next few days, and that only meant that he would not meet me in the gardens. But the bright side to all this was that there would be no wedding for me anytime soon. Relieved, I smiled for the first time since yesterday, when I had been lovingly wrapped in Nidal’s arms.

For the first time since the announcement that the king was sick, I thought of the queen.
Poor lady, how she must be hurting, knowing her husband is suffering. But then, is she really in pain, or is she secretly happy that she would be rid of him if he does not survive the attack?
If the latter was true, I did not make judgment against her, for she was living a life of torture as his wife. The king was a miserable man, and he hardly ever smiled at her. He was not a man in love. He looked more like a man full of greed and poison. Venom came out of his mouth when he spoke. He clearly was not a good person. It made me sad to know this because I knew the queen was the opposite. She truly was a good queen and deserved better than what life had dealt her.

By dinnertime, I was exhausted from waiting for some word on the happenings of the palace. I relied on the servants. When they came to me to bring me dinner, I asked if they had heard any news concerning the king, and they reassured me that all was good. I did not dare ask them anything else, for I did not trust them. They were loyal to the king, not me. When they left, I looked hungrily at the food on the tray. My mouth watered at the steak that rested on the plate. The vegetables looked mouthwatering, and the bread was hot and crispy. I devoured everything, for I was starving. I drank the small glass of wine with one gulp and poured another from the bottle that was conveniently sitting on the edge of the side table next to my bed.
It would be nice
, I thought,
to get drunk and forget all my problems
.

And as I sat there content with everything I had just eaten, I felt a tiny little flutter in my stomach. My mouth gaped open at the realization that my baby was finally kicking inside me. Tears of joy welled up in my eyes. My baby was playing inside me, and I rubbed my stomach happily. I thought Nidal should know this, but I did not know where to go looking for him.
Is he at his father’s bedside? Is he in meetings with the members of the royal team, giving orders and running the palace because his father is bedridden, or is he by Shaeena’s bedside comforting her and her child?
The thought of Nidal by Shaeena’s bedside made me want to barf.

It was time for Nidal to claim my child as his and demand I become his bride. He needed to stand up to his father and not take no for an answer. I would tell him so when I next saw him. I did not know when that would be, but I hoped and prayed that it would be really soon. I ached for his touch. I suddenly felt lonely. I pushed the tray aside and jumped out of bed. I paced the room back and forth nervously. I needed to get in touch with Nidal, my prince, whom I suddenly missed with all my heart. I needed him, and I knew not how to find him.

Then as if by some miracle, the door swung open, and in he walked. My heart skipped a beat as I looked into my lover’s face. He closed the door, locked it, came swiftly to me, and pulled me into his embrace. I melted in his arms and kissed his lips, the lips that burned mine as they marked their territory. I pushed my body hungrily on his, and he pulled me tighter into his arms. I lost all control, and I ripped his shirt open, slid my hands on his chest, felt his beating heart, and called out his name. I untied the strings to his pantaloons, and they dropped to the floor. He moaned hoarsely and pulled my gown off my body, and I stood there naked to his touch as he lifted me up in his arms and carried me to the bed.

Our bodies fit together as one as we made love and reached to great heights of passion. At this time, it was just him and I. Nothing and no one else mattered. We made love so fiercely, so passionately, that I lost control of all my senses. His eyes were blazing with tender love as he whispered how much he missed me. His lips trailed kisses down my neck. I could feel his heart hammering against mine. I had felt so happy that I thought I would burst from the excitement of all the joy that I was feeling at this very moment.