Sweet Obsession (40 page)

Hours later, spent and exhausted, just before the sun rose, we reluctantly got up and walked back to the palace. We promised each other that we would meet like this many times again. Neither of us mentioned the wedding that was supposed to take place today. In our hearts, we pretended that it was not happening as we kissed each other one last time before we entered the palace.

We both tiptoed down the corridor, not wanting to make any noise, lest the servants or, worse yet, Shaeena or Billal hear us. And as we parted, my heart went with her up the stairs to her room. I slipped inside my room quietly and found Shaeena breastfeeding the baby. She followed me with her eyes to the bathroom. Minutes later when I came out, she said not one word to me as I lay next to her in bed and fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. I had nightmares all night, and when I woke up early the next morning, it was to a little baby crying. The tiny little bundle of joy was not happy, and her mother was not able to calm her down.

I jumped out of bed and headed straight for the bathroom, closing the door behind me. I went to the sink to wash my face and remembered that today was the day my beloved was going to marry Billal. My heart hammered against my chest at the thought of Loula married to that man. I needed to find a way to stop the wedding. At that moment, I heard commotion in the room. Concerned, I opened the bathroom door just in time to hear the servant shouting in tears that the king had had a heart attack. My heart pumped fiercely at the announcement, and I wasted no time as I raced out of the room wearing only my underpants and headed toward my father’s bedchamber.

My mother was crying, and she begged God to spare her husband’s life. I wrapped myself with my father’s silk robe that lay by the chair next to his bed. I took my mother in my arms, and tried to comfort her. The doctor had just arrived and was seeing to Father. I heard the ringing of the bells in the tower. They were letting the people know something serious had happened. My father looked dead as he lay there, but I could see his chest rising and falling slowly, a sign he was still alive. I walked over to my father, and a lump formed in my throat. I was mad at him, but I still loved him and did not wish him ill. I dropped to my knees by his side, and my mother joined me. We both prayed to God for his well-being.

Moments later, the doctor completed his check-up. “The king will survive the heart attack. He needs rest and by no means is any one allowed to stress him out in any way. His heart is weak and it needs to regain its strength back,” he said firmly.

The doctor and I left the room, leaving Mother and the servants behind to watch over the king.

“Doctor, would you mind kindly if you stayed at the palace until Father is out of danger?” I begged.

“Of course I will stay. It is my duty to make sure the king is out of danger,” he said without hesitation.

The doctor’s quarters were just down the hall from my father’s bedchamber. He had been given his own space here at the palace ever since Loula and Shaeena had been with child. In case of an emergency, he had to be on call all day and all night until the babies were born, but there were times where he left for days at a time to attend to things that needed his attention at his home where his practice was located.

I leaned against the wall for support, allowing the tears to stream down my face. They were not all painful tears. They were happy tears as well. Although I did not want any harm to befall my father, the heart attack he had suffered meant there would be no wedding today. This would allow me some time to come up with a plan, one that would ensure the safety of Loula and our baby. I wiped away the tears and thanked the good Lord for helping my father stay alive and for allowing me more time to figure out what to do.

The palace was full of people, yet there was not a single sound to be heard. It was for the king’s benefit that all was quiet. He needed his rest, and everyone did his or her best to comply. I stayed with my father the whole day, and I even slept in the room at night to keep an eye on him while my mother went to her chambers. She was exhausted, and I sent her away to get some rest. She reluctantly left, and I promised her that I would send for her if anything changed.

Sometime in the middle of the night, sleep had not claimed me yet. I thought I heard a noise in the hallway, and I slowly opened the door to my father’s bedchamber and peeked out in the hallway just in time to see my mother slip into the guest room where the doctor was staying and close the door behind her. I was baffled, not understanding what she was doing in that room.

When like a bolt of lightning, it hit me. She was having an affair with the doctor. No wonder he always showed much concern about my mother’s welfare. I always thought it odd that he was always around at a moment’s notice. Thinking back, I remembered the secret looks he gave my mother when he thought I was not looking. I remembered many times his hand resting on my mother’s hand, and I always thought it was a friendly gesture. Now I knew there was more to it.

I could never be angry at my mother if she had been having an affair with him. My father deserved everything he got. He was not an attentive husband. Years ago, he ordered her a different bedchamber, saying he needed space. But I knew that every night thereafter, he brought many women to his bed. He never asked for her to return to his room all these years. It was just recently that I noticed she had been visiting him at night. All those years ago, my mother had been lonely, and she had looked elsewhere for comfort. I blamed her not! I slowly closed the door, tiptoed back to my father’s side, and sat in the chair. I was wide awake the rest of the night. Sleep eluded me.

Right before daybreak, I heard my mother’s soft footsteps, and I immediately ran to the door. I opened it and I saw my mother quietly enter her own room and close her door, none the wiser. I snuck out of my father’s room, and I went to my mother’s. I tapped on her door lightly. A second later, the door opened slightly, and she was surprised to see me standing there.

“Is something wrong, Nidal? Did something happen to your father?” she asked, concerned, motioning for me to enter.

I knew not what to say, so I just looked at her in silence. A few seconds later, she mouthed the word “oh” and slumped against the wall. I pulled my mother into my arms and held her tight. She started to cry, and I comforted her.

“Mother, I do not pass judgement on you. Father has mentally abused you for many years. I understand completely your need to take a lover to your bed. Your choice of a lover is a wise one, Mother. The doctor is very discreet, and above all, he is kind and affectionate. He has dedicated his life to the throne, and I for one like him immensely,” I told her, hoping to make her feel better.

“Mother, do not feel ashamed. Any woman in your position would have done the same. I hold no grudge against you. In fact, I think you are a very brave woman, and you deserve to be happy. I know Father could never give you the love you need and deserve, so you looked elsewhere.” I tried to ease her embarrassment. “I, for one, think you should have taken many lovers. If I were in your shoes, I would have done just that.” I smiled down at her. Then I took her hand and pulled her to the couch. We both sat down and tried to make sense of our lives.

We talked until the sun came out and the birds started chirping playfully outside. It was a glorious morning, and I knew that somehow everything was going to be fine. We had the talk of a lifetime. I told her my deep innermost feelings and explained to her that I could not and would not make a life without Loula. I had her blessings, and it was a good feeling to have at least one of my parents on my side.

“Thank you, son, for not passing judgement on my trespasses. You know that I love your father, but there is a huge void in my life. I feel lonely and unloved by your father. The doctor fills that void with so much love that I feel complete when I am with him.”

I understood. Loula did that to me too. She fulfilled my every desire.

“Be careful, Mother, if Father suspects your affair, he will scream treason, and place the doctor’s head on a silver plater, not to mention what he will do to you,” I warned her.

“Do not worry about me. I am being super careful.” She said, “Son, please don’t think ill of me. I never wanted to go behind your father’s back. It just happened, and I have never been happier.” She started to cry again.

I took her in my arms and wiped away her tears. “Mother, did I ever tell you that you are my hero?” I said very emotionally. “You are a brave woman. You stand on your own two feet and have never wavered. Even after Father threw you blow after blow of heartaches over the years. You survived and overcame it all.” I was proud at that moment that she was my mother.

My mother searched in my eyes for a hint of truth to what I said, and when she felt that I meant every word, she hugged me so tight that I almost suffocated. We took a few more hours enjoying each other’s company before we hightailed back to the king’s bedchamber. The doctor was already there, and he stepped backward when he saw us and allowed us to get closer to my father.

The king was awake, and he looked at us, smiling weakly as he padded the bed for Mother to sit next to him. I threw a stolen glance at the doctor and saw him stand stiffly behind us, quietly observing the king and queen with a frown on his face. He was clearly irritated with the whole situation at hand. I felt no resentment toward him. As a matter of fact, I was grateful that he made my mother happy.

My father motioned for my mother to lean in closer to him, and when she did so, he kissed her on the mouth. There was silence in the room at that moment. My father apologized for all the years of misery he had caused her. My mother was in tears, touched by his words. I too was very emotional at this time, but the doctor was clearly distressed. He shuffled his feet back and forth and unconsciously took a deep breath. I could not blame him at all. We all knew that, once my father got back on his feet, he would go back to the person he really was, an old, miserable fool.

The day flew by without a hitch. I took charge of all of my father’s affairs. By the end of the day, I was exhausted. I never knew that my father had so much to do in one day. He was a slave to his crown and, with that, came certain obligations. At the end of the day, I was worn out. I realized I did not even have time to think much about Loula today as I walked into my apartment and closed the door behind me.

Shaeena was already asleep, and the baby was in her basket next to the bed. She too was sleeping like an angel. I washed up, went to bed, and passed out almost immediately. I think it was the first time I slept without Loula on my mind.

Chapter Sixteen
Loula

K
issing Billal was pleasant. He was good-looking, and I knew he loved me. I kissed him hungrily and wrapped my arms around him. I was turned on in a weird kind of way. I did not understand it. It was different than when I kissed Nidal. A whole different feeling, but it was still good. I even allowed Billal’s hand to trail inside my gown and touch my breast, but I didn’t know at what point I started to believe it was Nidal caressing me and not Billal.

Right about that time, Billal and I heard the loud cheers in the halls of the palace, and we looked at each other, wondering what all the commotion was about. Billal reluctantly jumped off the sofa and ran to the door, opening it slightly. The cheers came again, a little more loudly this time. A servant was passing by our room, and Billal asked her what was happening. The servant responded excitedly that the new member of the royal family had arrived. Billal closed the door abruptly, walked back to the bed, and waited patiently for my reaction.

I did not know how to respond to this news. The room felt like it was spinning as I clutched my pillow and threw my face on it. The gut-wrenching sobs that tore from my throat sounded like they were coming from someone else. I cried a river. Life wasn’t fair. It should have been me giving birth to Nidal’s child, not Shaeena.

Billal’s hand was rubbing my back, trying to comfort me, but nothing in this world could bring me comfort at this time. I needed to be left alone. I did not want Billal touching me, so I lifted my head off the pillow and looked at Billal.

“Don’t!” The bitterness of my own voice startled me.

Billal pulled away his hand and looked at me steadily, not knowing how to respond. He cast a curious sideways glance at me, and silently, his eyes were searching for answers. I could tell his patience was running thin with me, and this observation startled me. There was a shuddering tension about him, as if he were on the brink of exploding. I held my breath and shut my eyes, not knowing what was going to happen next. Then I heard Billal’s footsteps walk away from me, and I took a deep breath and let out a sigh.

When I opened my eyes, I saw Billal looking out the window. With his back to me, he announced, “I am going to go and congratulate the princess. I shall not take long. When I come back, we need to have a talk.” His voice held a dangerous softness as he walked away with supreme confidence.

He walked out of the room and slammed shut the door behind him. I wondered what he wanted to talk to me about. I was not in a mood for talking, especially not with him. I did not need to wait here for his return. I had nothing to say to him. I quickly jumped out of bed and headed straight for the bathroom. I needed to freshen up and take a walk in the gardens.

Dressed, I checked myself out in the mirror and pulled my hair back in a ponytail. I looked much younger than my twenty-nine years. Satisfied with my appearance, I marched out of there, and once out in the hallway, I went down the stairs two at a time. When I landed on the main floor, I raced down the hallway and headed straight for the back doors. My gown made it impossible to walk any faster than I did. I knew the guards and the servants were all staring at me, and as I pushed open the doors and the fresh air caressed my cheeks, I felt the tears rolling down my face. I quickly wiped away the evidence that revealed my pain.