SM 101: A Realistic Introduction (42 page)

However, that still leaves lots of room for exploration with your knife. The mere sight of it on your belt can add to your authority and presence as a dominant. Simply holding it in your hand while you give your submissive orders tends to give those orders a certain extra weight. If it’s a folding knife, the decisive “click” it makes as it snaps open will definitely capture your submissive’s attention. If you’re feeling especially fiendish, tie them up and make them watch while you sharpen it.

Simply feeling a knife’s edge on their throat or genitals is a powerful erotic experience for many submissives. You can use your knife to cut off their clothes (many people who enjoy having their clothes cut off buy disposable outfits at thrift stores) or their bondage. (Also please note that a carefully chosen knife can also be a good backup for your paramedic scissors if you need to release a submissive quickly.) Using your knife to cut off a bit of their pubic hair can be hot. Many people enjoy following up a hot-wax scene by using the edge of a knife to scrape the cooled wax off the submissive’s skin.

When it comes to using a knife on skin, there are four basic techniques; I call them poking, scratching, gliding and shaving. Poking is simple: simply press the tip of the knife lightly into the skin, then either release it or hold it there for a while, perhaps twisting it a bit. To scratch the skin, I recommend that you use the unsharpened back of the knife’s tip. To glide, hold the blade perpendicular to the skin and gently draw the length of the blade along the skin, using no more pressure than the weight of the knife itself. To shave, place the blade at a shallow angle to the skin and perpendicular to the direction you’re heading, and draw it along the skin. You can do this in a “forehand” motion that, if the knife is sharp enough, will actually shave hairs like a razor, or you can use a “backhand” motion that feels scary but sensuous. Use caution when drawing a knife over blood vessels that are clearly visible under the skin. Placing the tip of your index finger just a fraction of an inch behind the tip of the knife increases your control.

This woman is an erotic terrorist.

Scratches may not show at all at first, or may show as a white mark which may later fade to red. If you use a very sharp knife, a glide may cause little to no sensation, and yet leave an impressive line. Indeed, small droplets of blood may appear a few minutes later. Either of these kinds of play may leave a very noticeable mark, particularly if the submissive is fair-skinned or has dry skin. Such marks often last longer than you might think, and in the case of some people, especially older people, may even be permanent. (They do tend to fade with time.) So be careful not to leave them anywhere they won’t be welcome; be particularly careful regarding the face, neck, and hands.

In relative order of risk: Backhand shaving feels quite sensuous, is almost risk-free, and rarely leaves marks. Poking can be fairly painful but is relatively safe, and is unlikely to mark. Scratching can feel intense and is not particularly risky, but the scratches may take quite a while to fade. Forehand shaving is not particularly painful if done properly, but an error in the angle or pressure of the blade can cut. Gliding can be physically and emotionally intense, can be risky if you put too much pressure on the blade, and is fairly likely to mark.

Some advanced practitioners enjoy doing actual cutting, often of a decorative sort. (Many lesbian SM players are particularly fond of this activity.) Most often, this is done with a disposable scalpel. Cuttings are done very shallowly, typically no deeper than a cat scratch. These cuttings usually (not always) heal without a scar. Decorative cutting is an activity best learned directly from an experienced practitioner, so I’m not going to describe it in detail here. If it interests you, you can learn more from an expert (hint: many professional piercers and tattooists are also knowledgeable about cutting, or can refer you to someone who is).

Shaving pubic or head hair can be an intense act of domination. Most people who play with shaving use electric clippers and/or a safety razor. A few highly skilled players practice with an old-fashioned straight razor until they can use it safely on skin. (The rule is “don’t shave a person until you can shave a balloon without popping it.”)

The main safety warning with blades of any kind is to
stay alert and focused.
A slip of the knife can cause anything from a painful cut to a serious wound. I strongly recommend avoiding blade play unless you’re feeling one hundred percent alert, awake, healthy, and sober. Get very familiar with the knife you’re using before you bring it near anybody else’s skin; one female dominant I know, an excellent cook, likes to use her kitchen knives for SM play because she already understands their balance and sharpness so well.

What does a piercing feel like?

I recommend that if you use a folding knife like a penknife or switchblade, it should be of a type that locks into its open position. Also, be sure you can open and close it smoothly, even if your hands are slippery with sweat or lube. (Stay especially alert when you are opening and closing the knife.) If you acquire a new knife, you should probably spend some time practicing with it on inanimate objects like fruit or meat, and on your own skin, before you use it on anyone else.

Anytime you are holding your knife above your submissive, you’re in a particularly high-risk situation. If the knife falls, it will fall on them. It’s therefore particularly important to stay focused when using a knife in this position. Also, when you’re not actually applying the knife to the submissive’s skin, get in the habit of holding it point-up, blade-up, or sideways.

If you play with knives, it is essential that your first-aid kit contain wound-management materials. (See the “SM Starter Kit” chapter for details.) If a cut gapes open widely, shows muscle or bone, or is on the hand, foot or face, it should be looked at by a physician to see if it requires stitches. Keep in mind that physicians may be legally required to report knife wounds to the police, so you may want to consider exactly how much you want to tell the doctor about how the cut was acquired. (See the “General Safety Considerations” chapter for more information on this topic.)

Be aware that most states have strict rules concerning the legality of carrying knives on your person or in your car while in public. Some knives are illegal to possess at all. Check the laws in your area to find out whether you’re risking arrest on felony charges of possession of a deadly weapon. (“Folk wisdom” on this point is often erroneous - check for yourself.)

The only way I like having a guy eat my Pussy is if I know he hates eating Pussy.

Masturbation Games

Once you have your submissive helpless, sexually “tormenting” them often just simply seems like the right thing to do. That being so, I have included here, in somewhat random order, several masturbation (and other) techniques from my books “Tricks: More than 125 Ways to Make Good Sex Better” and “Tricks 2:
Another
125 Ways to Make Good Sex Better. Those books, by the way, contain more than 100 tricks each besides the ones listed here. See the back of this book for ordering information.

Hooker’s Trick #1

Most men like to watch. Therefore, when asked to give head, many hookers position themselves so their customer can see his cock entering their mouth.

Footnote: If you feel like teasing him, position yourself so he can’t see his cock entering your mouth.

Brush Strokes

It’s entirely true that most women like to have their genitals caressed. However, another spot very close by feels almost as good. Have her spread her legs (this works well if she’s on her back) and, using your fingertips, lightly stroke the upper insides of her thighs, particularly the rear portions. This stroking can be done in a back and forth or circular motion, or you can slowly trace your way toward her vagina. You can also use your tongue effectively this way. (Rumor has it that many men also find the touch of fingertips or a tongue here pleasant.)

Pin The Skin

Grasp the erect penis with your thumb and forefinger just below its tip. (If you are right-handed, this would probably work best if you used your left hand.) Keep your grasp slightly firm, and slide your hand down the shaft of the penis to its base. You should now have his penis in your hand with its skin pulled somewhat tight over it. You may see its head slightly but noticeably bulge when you pull the skin down.

Normally, when a man masturbates, gets his cock sucked, or has intercourse, this skin slides. Pinning the skin in place and then stimulating his penis produces a noticeably more intense, usually highly pleasurable, sensation. One caution: Stimulation can feel rough and unpleasant if the penis is dry, so use enough lubricant to keep things slippery, especially during masturbation.

Tap Dancing

For this trick, the woman lies on her back with her legs comfortably spread and you lie on your side beside her, usually propped up on one elbow. Place the palm of your hand on her mons (the mound where most of her pubic hair is), and rest your fingers lightly on her vaginal lips. Rest your thumb on her opposite thigh.

Lightly but firmly press your palm onto her mons and begin to move your hand in a
tiny
circular motion. Your palm should not slide too much over her skin during this process. Instead, her skin should move underneath it. Repeat this process until you have done ten circles.

I need to learn cock and ball torture.

You then raise your fingers and lightly tap her vaginal lips about once a second until you have given her ten taps. Please note that these are light taps, not spanks. They shouldn’t hurt.

After giving the taps, rest your hand for five to ten seconds. Then repeat the circles, then repeat the taps, then rest again, then repeat the circles...

The woman who eagerly told me about this technique swore that it drove her “absolutely bonkers.”

Climbing the Mountain

This masturbation game can drive a man absolutely nuts. It’s usually done with him lying on his back. Sit or kneel either beside him or between his legs. Take his penis in one hand and gently, sensuously caress it for about ten seconds, then give it one quick up-and-down stoke. Repeat the sensuous caressing for about ten seconds - perhaps doing slow up-and-down strokes, perhaps doing other movements that feel good - and then give his penis two quick up-and-down strokes. Repeat the sensual caressing, then give three quick strokes. Then more caressing, followed by four quick strokes. Then more caressing, and five strokes. You get the idea.

Continue to “climb the mountain” as long as you can. One tip: The man may reach a point where his orgasm is becoming inevitable, and slow caressing might spoil it. He is therefore allowed to say (assuming he can still coherently speak) “keep going”
one time,
after which you give him only rapid strokes until he comes. He should climax within about one minute. (If he doesn’t, he gets punished.)

Push Here to Start

After she is aroused, sit between her legs. Gently insert one finger deeply into her vagina and, when she’s ready, insert a second. Then take your thumb and place it against her anus. Don’t insert it. Instead, gently press there while you move your fingers. My highly reliable source tells me that, while many women are turned off by the idea of having anything inserted into their anus, they really like feeling this kind of pressure there.

HoUing that position was torture.

Flat Top

Hold the shaft of his penis in one hand so it points almost straight away from his body. Stiffen the palm and fingers of your other (very well lubricated) hand and place your palm on the head of his penis. Lightly but firmly rub your palm back and forth, side to side, in clockwise circles, and in counter-clockwise circles. You can also tilt your hand front and rear or side to side. This technique involves a lot of stimulation directly on one of the most sensitive parts of a man’s body, so make sure the stimulation doesn’t get so intense that they become unpleasant for him - unless you intend that. Watching his face can give you clues.

“Show Me How You Like It"

Let’s say you are masturbating your partner and just aren’t getting anywhere. Instead of continuing until both of you are exhausted and sore, get some coaching. Ask your partner to “show me how you like it” and watch their stroking pattern. The woman who taught me this trick was a bisexual sex worker who has had many, many partners ofboth sexes. She went on to remark, “Men are more standard; women are more individualistic.”

Thumb Enchanted Evening

Kneel behind your lover while she is on her hands and knees facing away from you (dog-style position). Use your thumb to pleasure the inside of her vagina while the side of your index finger caresses her ditoris.

Make a Tent

If you’re in bed and looking for a simple but effective way to spice up masturbating a penis, simply drape the sheet over it while you stroke. Just remember that you may need a clean sheet in the
very
near future.

A Hair-Raising Trick

Grasp your lover’s pubic hair in your fist so that the middle joints of yourfingersandtheheelofyourpalmrestontheirpubicmound. Then move your hand up and down, from side to side,and in cirdes. You can also tilt your hand in various directions. The intensity of this movement can be increased until you are actually rocking your partner. Caution: This “rough foreplay” trick may involve mild to moderate amounts of pain. It probably won’t work on most people. I recommend you try it only on someone who is already highly aroused. Watch their face and body very carefully to see how they react. Continue only if there’s no doubt that they are enjoying it.