SM 101: A Realistic Introduction (38 page)

Some dominants deliberately remove all the clamps at once. This is an acceptable practice, but only with an experienced submissive - and they should be warned the first time it’s done to them. For serious masochists, you can make a “zipper” by stringing several non-toothed clamps along a cord or thong, tying knots on each side of the clamp to hold its position. The clamps are placed along the skin and yanked off with a pull on the end of the cord. Try this yourself before you do it to anyone else; it’s pretty intense. It’s best to keep zippers off genitals and other fragile skin.

I don’t do it unless I know that, at some level or other, they’re enjoying it.

Another extreme approach is to whip the clamps off, using a riding crop or flogger. (Accuracy is extremely important here. Practice this first by placing some clamps on a towel and hanging the towel from a shower rod. Particularly ifyou’re using a riding crop or something equally harsh, you don’t want to miss the clamp.)

What to do after the damp is on.
Just because your submissive is wearing clamps doesn’t mean you have to simply sit back and watch. One effective approach is simply to leave the clamps alone while you pay attention to other parts of their body.

Try pleasuring your submissive’s genitals after clamping another part of their body. The pain of the clamps contrasts with the pleasure in their genitals to provide a powerful erotic experience. Masturbate them, perform oral sex, or- if the position permits -have intercourse. Mixing erotic pain with intense, prolonged sexual pleasure can create a deep impression in the submissive’s mind.

Regarding playing with the clamps themselves, there are many things you can do. As in most other areas of SM, only do these maneuvers slowly and gradually. If either your partner or the experience is unfamiliar, avoid doing anything sharply or suddenly. You can always play harder and more intensely later. Right now, proceed gradually.

No endorphins yet, Mistress!

While you should only apply clamps to dry skin, once the clamps are on you can kiss and lick the tissue. If the clamps are small enough to fit into your mouth, you can suck the area.

You can grasp the clamp and slowly lift it away from their body. This gradually increases the pain.

You also can place your fingers over the pinching part of the clamp and increase the pinching force. You need only small pressure to increase the force greatly. Proceed gradually, on only one clamp at a time, and carefully watch your submissive’s reaction.

You can twist the clamp. Only a few degrees of twisting in any direction drastically increases the erotic pain. The submissives often wince and gasp when you do this, and it can easily get too intense.

You also can shake the damp, either by grasping it directly (be careful not to shake it loose), or by shaking the underlying part and letting the clamp snap back and forth. This shaking can vary from mild to intense, depending on the submissive’s reaction.

Finally, you can attach the clamps to something. You can run rope, leather, or light chain from one clamp to the other. This allows you to pull on several damps at the same time. You also can attach a leash to this connecting line. (Note: Even a light chain’s movement can shift the clamps. This movement may change the feeling from erotic to non-erotic. Therefore, avoid using clamps connected by chain until you know that your submissive can handle such intense sensation.)

You can attach the clamps to an eyebolt above the submissive. Attach the middle of a long, thin line to the clamp, and run the two free ends through the loop. Split them, pull as tight as appropriate, separate the ends, and tie off. (This is a variant on the lark’s head knot.)

You can also run the free end of the line through the eyebolt and attach a weight. Safety tip: Don’t hang a weight directly over the submissive’s body. If such a weight became loose, it could fall and cause injury. Always make sure the weight will not fall onto the submissive (or you). Also, be careful about applying weights to clamps if the submissive is standing. The weights could slip off and drop onto the submissive’s foot, or yours.

A note about weights: Fishing sinkers work well. They come in small sizes and the load they create can be adjusted an ounce at a time. (Don’t start out with a two-pound monster.) Also, they were designed to be hung. As a safety measure, I suggest you use round sinkers. Avoid the sharp-cornered, pyramid-shaped ones.

Standing clamps.
Sometimes submissives are placed in a standing position and clamps are attached to their nipples or other parts of their body. A line is run from the damps up to an eyebolt in the ceiling. The line is there either tied off or attached to a weight.

One advantage of this approach is that if the submissive sags or moves, the pain increases. They therefore are motivated to hold their position, and that creates “possibhities. ”

This can be hot and fine, unless something unexpected happens and the submissive
must move.
Let’s say they faint, trip, or get bumped off balance. Many clamps, most especially these made of metal, will not readily pull off. Indeed, one design of widely used damp, oriental textile or “clover” clamps, will dig in harder if it’s pulled on. If a submissive clamped with these were to fall, major injury could result.

I therefore suggest you only attach clamps that pull off relatively easily to lines or anything similar. As with many other areas of SM, when you put a submissive in a given position, you should ask yourself: What if they faint? ‘What if they fall? What ifI have to get them out quickly?
Ifyou
don’t
have solid, clear answers to those questions, don’t put them in that position.

The bed of nails.
Sometimes submissives have clamps placed on their nipples, their genitals, and other locations on the front of their body, and are then ordered to lie face-down on a bed. There they may be whipped and/or subjected to anal intercourse. (You can accomplish a “light” version of this by hugging them while the clamps are in place.) This kind of pressure against clamped tissue is extremely painful (thus the name) and even masochists can usually only tolerate it for about 30 minutes. Non-masochists can usually tolerate far less time.

Caution: This technique is a bit dangerous in that it doesn’t look nearly as bad as it feels. To truly appreciate it, try it yourself.

Clamping the Nipples

Nipples are the number-one clamp target. This is perhaps too bad. People vary widely in how they respond to clamps on their nipples. Also, this reaction is distinctly separate from their reaction to other types of erotic pain.

I know submissives who intensely enjoy, and can even reach orgasm from, getting spanked or whipped. Yet some of these same submissives can’t stand even medium-strength clamps on their nipples. Other submissives like clamps on their genitals, or elsewhere on their body, yet hate clamps on their nipples. And still others like having their nipples pinched by fingers, or bitten, yet dislike clamps. Still, many, many submissives like having their nipples clamped; some enjoy it intensely. Most submissives like, or will at least accept, a moderate degree of nipple play. Others are “nipple wimps.”

I thought those damn endorphins would never kick in.

Some women, especially, find that stimulating their nipples causes intense sexual arousal. They seem to have a direct line running from their nipples to their clit. Thus, unless the clamps are too tight, they find nipple clamps intensely erotic.

Note: Many a woman’s nipples vary in their sensitivity with her menstrual cycle. Clamps she finds too tight at one time during her cycle may be acceptable, or even too light, a week or two later.

Applying clamps to nipples.
A good operating principle for all SM is: introduce only one new thing at a time. Follow this principle when introducing clamps. For example, if you meet someone new who has never played SM before, and you take them home, tie them up, and put clamps on their nipples, you have introduced three new things: yourself, bondage, and clamps. This combination is likely to overwhelm your new partner, and thus increases the risk of resistance, panic, and even violence. So, unless your partner is already familiar with SM, wait a while.

How should you apply nipple clamps? In a word, gradually. First see how they react to having their nipples pinched. Don’t use your fingernails; they cause sharp pain. Use the pads of your fingertip and thumb, or pinch their nipple between your thumb and the side of your index finger. (Try this on yourself.) Notice their reaction to this before you bring out the clothespins.

If the person is completely unfamiliar with the idea of nipple clamps (some people have led a sheltered life), prepare them by saying something like, “I want to place some light clamps on your nipples. They should both hurt just a little and feel good. I’ll take them off if they’re too intense for you, but I want you to try to handle them.” You might then place the clamps on your own nipples for a minute or two, so the submissive can see them.

As an alternative approach, if you switch roles, have the new person place the clamps on you during the first time they’re used.

Where should you place the nipple clamps?
Usually behind the tip of the nipple. Placing them right on the nipple’s tip causes a sharp, intense pain that few people find erotic. It usually works better to place them “deeper” on the nipple. Again, try it on yourself.

The most common way to place a clothespin on a nipple is at a right angle to the submissive’s body, so the damp is “sticking straight up into the air.” To do this, first place the clamp on your own body (your own nipple, if possible, otherwise on the web of skin between your forefinger and thumb) to determine its tightness and intensity. The clamping surface should be about ⅛ to ¼ inch behind the nipple’s tip, and the clamp itself aligned straight up and down the body. It should not be tilted to either side.

If the clamps are applied sticking straight up, they might flop over, especially if they are metal clamps or if the skin under the nipples is loose. Few submissives find this type of pain erotic. One way to avoid this problem is to apply the clamps parallel to the submissive’s body as opposed to perpendicular. This is an especially good way for a heterosexual, dominant man to apply nipple clamps to a woman prior to missionary-position intercourse.

I love to have clamps used on me.

To apply the clamps this way, lightly pinch the nipple’s tip and raise it up, then slip the clamp under your fingertips onto the nipple. Another method is to pinch a tent of skin at the tip of the nipple (12 o‘clock position) and, approaching from the 6 o’clock position, slip on the clamp.

For sexual intercourse, the clamps are usually placed straight down, straight out to the side, or someplace in between. (Left breast: 3 to 6 o‘clock; right breast; 6 to 9 o’clock).

Clamps slide off wet nipples. If you wish to apply clamps, or other items, to a nipple, don’t first moisten it with saliva or other lubricants.

Stroke or rub their body, give them some pleasure, before moving on with the session. Ask them how they’re doing. Pleasure their genitals. After about two minutes, clamp their other nipple.

Putting one clamp on each nipple is probably as far as you should go for the first session. You can try more clamps in later sessions.

If you want to play with the clamps while they’re on, try it first with one nipple, then the other, before trying it on both nipples simultaneously. The nipples may vary in sensitivity. Remember that any movement of the clamps may increase the pain they cause to a non-erotic level.

Note: even if the clamps feel good at first, they will probably start to hurt in a non-erotic way after a while. Check with a novice at 15-minute intervals to see how the clamps feel. Take the clamps off if they’re getting too intense. Also, you probably should take them off after an hour even if everything seems fine. You don’t want to cause lasting damage, or too much soreness the next day.

I don have the slightest desire to hurt you. Torture you, yes. Hurt you, no.

You can lessen the pain of removal by unclamping one nipple, waiting for about one minute, then undamping the other. A second approach is to undamp one nipple, then have the submissive nod or otherwise indicate that they are ready to have their other nipple unclamped.

Another way to ease this moment is to stroke the submissive with your hand or some fur between the breasts as you remove the clamp. The reason for this is that the nerves in the spinal column that carry pain messages also carry touch messages, and can only carry one of the two at a time. The more of the nerves you keep busy carrying touch messages, the fewer are available to carry pain messages. (This is a simplified version of what medical folks call “the gate theory of afferent pain inhibition.”)

Clamping the Genitals

After the nipples, the genitals are the most often clamped body part. This clamping is often accompanied by bondage, whipping, and other forms of erotic “torture.” It also may be accompanied by various pleasures. The combination of erotic pain and pleasure directly on the genitals is powerfully intense.

Perhaps surprisingly, genitals often tolerate clamps better than nipples do. I know many people who have difficulty tolerating even mild clamps on their nipples, yet these people can handle, and even enjoy, strong clamps on their genitals.

When clamping or unclamping the genitals of either gender, try not to catch pubic hairs in the clamps.

Clamping the male genitals
. Clamps can be applied to five areas of a man’s genitals: his scrotum, the shaft of his penis, the head of his penis, his foreskin (if he has one), and the area of skin between his scrotum and his anus - the perineum. Let’s consider each area.

Of all male genital areas, the
scrotum
usually tolerates clamps best. It’s usually not as sensitive as some other areas, and its loose skin is easy to damp. Also, clamping his scrotum leaves the shaft and tip of his penis free.