SM 101: A Realistic Introduction (36 page)

Let’s assume that, for this first flogger whipping. your submissive is standing with their hands overhead and their legs apart. Let’s also assume that you are right-handed.

Stand about an arm’s length away from their left side, with the whip in your right hand. (This is the setup for a basic forehand stroke.) All necessary groundwork and preliminaries have been handled.

As with all whippings, especially if the person or the experience is new, the first stroke should be soft. Strike the lower half of their buttocks. Bring the whip back, wait about three seconds, and strike again. Aim your stroke so that the tips of the flogger’s tails strike the lower middle of the buttock farther away from you. Give their buttocks about half a dozen more strokes, then strike their upper back. The tips should land in the lower middle of their upper back - and over muscle, not shoulder blade or spine. Watch their reaction to this stroke. (People often have “strikingly” different reactions to having different parts of their body whipped.) If their reaction is other than total turn-off, strike their back one or two more times, then return to their buttocks.

Never put your dominant in a position where they feel they have to prove a point.

You want to avoid “wrapping” the ends of the flogger. Pick the spot where you want the flogger to land, and aim the tips of your flogger there. The important point to remember is that as the lashes land on a curved body surface, such as the flanks, they gain speed (and thus force) as they wrap around the side of the body. This will often cause that section of the flogger to leave marks. Wrapping is considered amateurish unless done intentionally, and most people don’t intentionally wrap.

Safety precaution: Even the best dominants sometimes have a flogger’s tail go astray during a whipping. To help guard against a stray tail causing injury, dominants sometimes use their free hand to protect highly vulnerable areas. For example, if they are whipping the submissive’s back, they may shield the submissive’s neck with their free hand. If they are whipping the submissive’s buttocks, they will use their free hand to shield the submissive’s genitals. (For some strange reason, most submissives don’t seem to mind.)

If you’re using a long flogger, you may not be able to get in close enough to your submissive to protect them in this way; many dominants therefore place a towel around their submissive’s neck, and/or have them protect their genitals with their own hands. A g-string or other thong-style undergarment may offer at least some extra protection for their genitals and tailbone.

Relatively broad, flat places on the human body, such as the buttocks, upper back, and the large muscles of the chest, are good targets for the full lash. Other body parts may be whipped, but take care to strike with just the tip. Don’t wrap.

During and after the whipping, check the sides of the submissive’s hips and trunk for wrap marks. If you see some, be more careful next time.

A few safety pointers:

1. Sometimes the flogger’s tails tangle. You may have to straighten them periodically.

2. Avoid accidentally striking the submissive with the whip’s handle. (This can happen if you get too dose.) Such a hard, dub-like stroke is distinctly unerotic. Unlike the crop, the flogger can also be used in a variety of other motions.

Backhand.
This can be useful for reaching both the left and right sides of a submissive’s body (it’s considered bad form to whip only one side, unless you’re being purposefully nasty). If you’re right-handed, stand on the right side and slightly behind the submissive’s body, facing them. Gather the tails of the whip in your left hand. With a smooth, straight motion from your shoulder, lay the tails flat across the submissive’s back or buttocks, with the tips landing on the area you want to feel the strongest sensation.

Being into SM now is like being gay 25 years ago.

Twirling.
The flogger can be spun in a circle. This circle can be vertical in an overhand or underhand motion, or horizontal in a forehand or backhand motion. Overhand and underhand motions are the more commonly used. The tips strike the submissive’s body, and the whipping motion is often used to cover large areas of skin.

Sideways figure eight.
The flogger is swung in exactly the motion named, the tips striking on the downstroke. This motion is often used on the upper back. Careful, though - since it’s a downward stroke, it can have a tendency to land on the bony part of shoulderblades and on the upper half of buttocks; aim for the fleshier areas.

Underhand.
The underhanded vertical swing can be used to whip the genitals. As always, be very careful about how much force you use.

From in front. The forehand and backhand motions are also sometimes used to whip the submissive’s back and buttocks, while you stand in front of them. This involves
intentionally
wrapping the tails so their ends (usually about the last third) land on the flat areas of the submissive’s buttocks or back. This arrangement allows considerably more face-to-face contact than most other positions allow. While this technique takes time and practice to master, it can be very powerful and effective.

Overhand.
The overhand motion is often used to whip a lying-down submissive. It can also be used to strike the back and breasts of a standing submissive. Watch your distance and your aim here. A badly aimed downward stroke to the front of the submissive’s body can catch their head or face on the way down. (I have sometimes seen submissives made to wear industrial goggles to help guard their eyes.) A badly aimed downward stroke to the rear of their body can catch the top of their head, their ears, or the tops of their shoulders.

How about if you come over Tuesday and I do terrible things to you?

Snapping.
Like we used to do in gym, snap the whip onto the submissive’s body. You can use underhand, overhand, forehand, or backhand motions. These are usually sudden, relatively sharp, strokes. They can be done in a rhythmic way, or abruptly. They work well as a sudden change of tempo. Because they can be somewhat disorienting, I recommend you begin your whipping with a different stroke.

Holding the tails.
You can hold the handle in one hand and all but about three to six inches of the lash in the other. This creates a flogger used for close-in work. Such a flogger can be used on the breasts and genitals. (Some people buy a small flogger, about a foot long, for just this purpose.) It’s especially useful when the submissive is tied face-up onto a bed. Try it on yourself.

The combination of type of swing, degree of force, rhythm, and location make using a flogger a fascinating thing to explore. In summary, the flogger, in the hands of a skilled user, is a tremendously powerful erotic device.

Straps

Straps are long, relatively narrow, flexible striking implements. Straps arc usually made of leather, although you sometimes see straps of rubber or other materials. Straps sometimes come with a stiffhandle, but the most typical strap is flexible along its entire length.

The classic strap, of course, is the dominant’s belt. Submissives who enjoy being strapped get a very special shiver from the sound of a belt being drawn out of its beltloops. If you use a belt, you will probably want to either wrap the buckle end around your hand a time or two, or double the belt up and hold both ends in your hand, striking with the folded part. Striking with the buckle is very likely to cause an unacceptable level of damage.

Other kinds of straps include razor strops (which can sometimes be found in antique stores) and all kinds of straps from riding gear shops.

Because of their flexibility, straps are very likely to wrap if not aimed carefully, and the tip of a strap landing on the hip is very non-erotic for most people. Aim your strap carefully.

Note: Many people were punished with straps as children or in abusive adult relationships. Before you use a strap on someone, find out if they have any history of having been nonconsensually beaten with one; negotiate and adjust your play accordingly.

Canes

Whipping canes are very different from the stout, walking-assist devices you see used on the street. Whipping canes are much thinner — usually about the diameter of a pen — and much more flexible. They are usually made of rattan; bamboo can split and cause deep lacerations. You also see canes made of manmade materials such as fiberglass and Delrin. A cane’s flexibility is one of its greatest assets; therefore, many people soak rattan canes in water overnight, then coat them with varnish or a similar finish to retain the absorbed moisture.

Look at my new flogger!

Canes tend to be long — usually about three to 3½ feet. Their tip should always be either rounded off or padded.

cane

Some canes have curved handles, although the curve contributes nothing and sometimes gets in the way. Straight canes are usually held by the thicker end. Straight canes sometimes have the handle end finished with leather, rubber, or fabric.

Note this well: Because of the thinness of the striking area, the light weight of the cane, and its flexibility, strokes from a cane can be extremely painful and often leave marks. Strong strokes can be given only to the buttocks, thighs, and maybe the upper back. The rest of the body must be treated much more lightly.

For these reasons, accuracy is extremely important when using a cane. Most strokes are therefore given with a flick of the wrist. (Beginners are often advised to keep their elbow tucked against their side.) Cane strokes delivered with both the wrist and elbow are likelier to go astray. Cane strokes delivered with the wrist, elbow, and shoulder are extremely difficult to land accurately.

The sensation from a cane, more than any other implement, has a unique “two-wave” sensation. There is a rush of pain when the cane strikes, and then a second wave a second or two behind that. Try this yourself if you can, and you’ll see what I mean.

Striking your submissive again while they’re still trying to cope with that second wave of pain can be far too intense for many submissives. Particularly if you and your partner aren’t experienced with canes, it’s best to leave some “breathing room” between cane strokes. The “nod” and “one-to-ten” techniques can be useful here.

Be careful with canes. They have tremendous potential, and they look relatively harmless, yet they are probably the most dangerous flagellation instrument in common use.

A few words about the lowly coat hanger.
Most whips make considerable noise, and the sound of a whip striking flesh is fairly distinctive. For people who need a “quiet” whip, a coat hanger may provide an answer.

It’s quickly made: take an ordinary, unpainted wire coat hanger, hold it by the hook and the middle of the crossbar, and pull to straighten it. Fold down or twist off the hooked part of the handle, and it’s ready to use.

Caution: The striking surface is obviously very narrow. Therefore this whip produces a very sharp , intense pain — comparable to a cane, and more than you might expect. By all means, swat your own thighs a few times before using it on somebody else.

Also, again because of the narrow striking surface, a coat hanger is much more likely than a riding crop or flogger to leave bruises and welts, even with relatively light strokes.

A coat hanger makes little sound and is hard to hear even a short distance away. If background music is being played at normal volume, the sound of the whipping could be almost completely masked.

Coat hanger whips are a favorite discipline instrument of pimps and abusive parents. The idea ofbeing whipped with one may arouse unexpectedly strong emotions in people. Therefore, be extra careful about obtaining consent before using it.

We may have Joan Crawford (“No wire hangers!”) to thank for many people’s belief that the very idea of using a coat hanger on a submissive is out of the question. However, I’d like to speak up in the defense of this simple and affordable toy. Used with care and attention, they are no more or less dangerous than any other flagellation instrument. I’ve used them quite successfully, and had them used on me, on many occasions with no untoward effects. A professional dominant I know lives in a thin-walled apartment building and has therefore been using them on her clients quite regularly for several years with no particular problems. Janet and I used one on a vacation cruise (we were traveling light and didn’t have room in our luggage for many toys), enjoyed it tremendously, and noticed with pleasure that our steward had carefully put it away in a drawer when he cleaned our cabin afterwards.

kabonger