Ruined: Loving An Alpha Male: BWWM Romance (25 page)

He walked out of the hotel room, leaving me sitting there stunned. I was losing him. I could see it in his eyes. He was letting that darkness he always talked about consume him. I wasn’t sure what to do, but I knew I needed to do something.

****

Mason didn’t return back to the room until well after midnight. I was curled up on the couch when he walked in. He jumped slightly when he saw me but didn’t say anything.

He made himself a drink at the bar across from me, took the liquid back, and then said softly, “I’m going to bed.”

That’s it? That’s all he’s going to say to me after being gone for hours? Oh hell no! I jumped up and moved to block his way. He sighed but didn’t look at me.

“Maxine, I don’t have the energy. I just want to…” He tried to move around me. I moved in his way again, and then placed my hands on his cheeks. He tried to remove my hands, but I grabbed on to his hair and pulled. That seemed to get his attention, and a blazing set of dark blue eyes met mine.

“Well, I see now I have your attention. Mason, I’m only going to say this once. Then I’ll let you be.” I made sure I had his attention, and I did. I inhaled and said, “I love you, baby. Okay, what happened is completely fucked up. I know you are going to find whoever did this, and I have no doubt in my mind that you’re going to make them pay.” I saw the acknowledgment in his eyes, so I continued. “But you can’t get lost in this.” He tried to move away from me, but I still used my body to block him. “No, baby, you can’t. I love you so much, and I don’t want to lose you to some shit you probably have going around in your head. You’re mine, remember? Fucked up and all, you’re mine. I won’t lose you to the darkness. You hear me? I refuse to lose you, so please don’t let it consume you completely. Don’t push me away, Mason. Please don’t. I need you, and you need me. And I’m here, okay? I’m strong; I can take whatever you have to dish out.”

I felt my eyes water. But this wasn’t the time or place to show that kind of emotion, so I blinked them back. I still had my guy’s attention, and I didn’t want to lose it.

I said, “Promise me you won’t give up.”

I moved closer to him, got up on my tippy toes, and planted kisses on his lips.

“Promise me, Mason.”

I felt him fighting me slightly, but I kept my lip assault going. I kissed his cheeks, his neck, his chest … Whatever I could find to get him to thaw out just a little.

“Maxine, don’t.”

“Come on, Mason. Please let me help you. Let me take care of you. Let go, baby.”

I jumped in his arms and wrapped my legs around his waist, forcing him to hold me. I continued to kiss his neck, and I grinded on him. When I found his lips again, he opened his mouth to me. I tasted his anger and felt his frustration through his touch. But most of all, I felt his need. He hugged me closer to him and deepened our kiss as I felt him move us into the bedroom. I didn’t let him go until I knew he wasn’t going to leave me. He pulled my t-shirt up and over my head, and started kissing down my chest. I didn’t have a bra on, so he had complete access to my girls, and he didn’t waste time getting lost in me.

I moaned my pleasure, as he took charge of my body. He roughly pulled and squeezed my breasts and sucked and licked my nipples.

“I’m all yours, Mason. I’m here for you, baby.”

It seemed that my words were affecting him. He slowed down slightly, but he continued to subdue me. He pulled my shorts and panties off, and I scooted up on the bed to give him room to do exactly what I know he loves to do. His tongue found its favorite spot between my legs, and he attacked with reverence. I came instantly and, as he let me settle, I sat up and moved to help him with his shorts. He pulled off his shirt, while I got his shorts and underwear completely down his legs. He removed his shoes and socks. As he lay on the bed, I returned the favor and placed my lips on his dick.

Mason then reached for my legs and started pulling me toward him, while my lips were still locked on him.

I heard him say in the most sensual and dark voice, “Let me taste you.”

So I positioned myself to where his face was inches from my core. He hugged my hips to keep me still and continued his tongue assault on me.

“Shit baby, you taste so fucking good,” he told me.

I tried to control my body’s reaction to him, but I couldn’t. He undid me.

“I need to be inside you, baby.”

I turned around to where our lips instantly connected, and he easily entered me.

“Fuck me baby,” he asked in an almost pleading voice, and I did.

I kept my eyes on him as I moved up and down, pulling my hips towards him each and every time I came down on him. I moved slowly at first. Then I moved faster, until I felt both of our releases coming.

“That’s it, baby…
Ho-ly shit
,” he growled.

We both moved our hips, as we pleasured each other. We came together, and I fell on his chest. I was spent after bringing myself to multiple orgasms before we both went over the edge. The next thing I knew, he flipped me over to where his body was on top of mine. His hips withdrew, and he then plunged forward…rolling to drag pressure against me.

“I’m not done with you yet…You’re still mine?”

“You know I am,” I said, breathless as I felt another orgasm careening its way through me.

“You’re fucking right. You belong to me, baby, and not to anyone else. You feel so good, baby; like heaven.”

We spent the next few hours making love until we passed out still connected to each other.

I stirred to feeling fingers caressing my face. I smiled, stretched, and then opened my eyes. Mason was sitting next to me. I sat up still smiling, until I noticed he was dressed.

“What’s wrong?” I asked him.

“I have to go,” he told me simply.

“Go where, Mason? I don’t understand,” I lied, because I knew exactly where he was going.

“Roland called me. He got the Intel that we needed. I have to go.”

I nodded my head. “I know you do. But can you promise me you’ll come back to me?”

Mason shook his head. “Maxine, I can’t…” he started, but I didn’t let him finish.

“No, Mason. You listen to me.” I crawled out of the bed and climbed on his lap, wrapping my legs around his waist. “Don’t you let go of me, you understand? Let me help you get through this, okay? I’m so much stronger than you think. Baby, please promise me you’ll come back to me. Don’t let go of me…of us…
please
.”

He wouldn’t say anything to me. He wouldn’t even look at me, and I felt like I was losing him already.

“Mason, baby, look at me, please.” I waited until his blue eyes fell on mine. “I love you so much, and, damn it, I can’t live without you. I just don’t work without you, okay? You belong to me and I belong to you. We’re getting married, remember? You said ‘yes.’”

I rubbed his face, my hands going over the stubble on his cheek. Tears were falling down my face now, but I never removed my eyes from his. I wanted him to feel how much I needed him…how much I loved him. I needed to let him know everything.

“Just let me take care of you this one time, okay? I promise to give you your job back. Just don’t let go of me… Promise me, Mason.”

Mason leaned his forehead on mine. I felt the drops of wetness from his eyes on my thighs.

“I don’t know if I can, Max,” he whispered.

“Yes, you can. Let me help you.”

I moved his face so that his eyes were back on mine. I saw that they were now red and moist. I caressed his cheeks softly, ran my hands through his hair, and touched as much of him as I could.

“I’ll be home waiting for you. I’m yours, baby. If you want me, I’m all yours. Promise me you’ll come back. I’m all yours.”

I lightly pressed my lips to his, and I repeated that I was his. Finally, I felt the resolve in him. He touched my face and deepened the kiss.

When he parted, he whispered, “And I’m yours.”

“Then promise me.”

He still wouldn’t say the words, and I felt myself start to lose it. My breathing started to accelerate. It felt like the day Bunny’s brother was trying to come and get me…or the other times.

“Oh, God… Mason, please.”

I couldn’t stop the shudders that racked my body. I put my head in my hands and cried.

“Okay, baby,” Mason finally answered. “Please stop crying. Okay, I promise… I promise.”

He pulled me into a tight hug, as I rested my face in the crock of his neck. I inhaled him deeply, as I tried to control myself. He kept telling me over and over again that he promised. I wanted to believe him. I did, but my heart and my body felt I would never see him again. So I couldn’t stop crying.

“I’m so sorry, baby. I promise.”

He lay back in the bed and brought me with him. He lay on his side and continued to hold me until I finally got quiet. He kissed my forehead. He caressed my back, my legs, and my arms as if he was also feeling me for the last time. I finally moved away from him and looked up at the ceiling. We didn’t speak for a long time, until I heard a buzzing sound from his pocket.

He removed his phone and answered gruffly, “Reap.”

My heart stopped, and my stomach churned at the sound of his SEAL call name.

“Yeah, I’ll be down in ten.”

He hung up the phone and caressed my stomach, but he didn’t say anything else.

I finally looked over at him.

“Please be careful.”

“I plan on it.” He leaned into me and placed a sweet kiss on my lips. “I love you, Allura.”

“I love you too, Mason.”

****

It’s been four weeks since I’ve seen or spoken to Mason. He hasn’t called, written, mailed a post card, or sent smoke signals…
nothing
.

I’m going out of my mind. I don’t know if he’s dead or alive, and it’s killing me slowly. I’ve been staying at his apartment every night since I got back from Miami, hoping for his return. All I do is work, go to school, and wait for him. I barely sleep because of the nightmares. I dream that he’s been dead all this time, and I’d never know for sure, or that someone captured him and won’t let him go. I mean the images that arise from the depths of my imagination are unbearable. I barely eat because I keep thinking about the nightmares I have, and then my stomach gets upset.

My friends are worried sick. Lou is worried sick. But I don’t know what else to do. He promised me, and if nothing else, I only have his word to hold on to. I don’t have anyone’s number. I continue to call Mason’s cell, hoping someone would pick up the phone. But after a while, it announced that the voice-mail box was full of messages, which didn’t bode well for keeping my hope alive.

I stopped at the liquor store on my way home from class. It seemed that the times I was shit-faced were when I could sleep peacefully because my dreams never found me. So I planned to drown my sorrows tonight in hopes that maybe—just maybe—fate would be kind to me.

As I opened the door, I knew fate hated me. There standing in the dining room were features I only saw on a TV screen. I closed the door and walked further into the room, taking off my coat.

I said, “Hello, Marcus.”

“Wow, I guess you can tell us apart,” he said simply.

“Are you coming to tell me that Mason is dead?” I said, cutting to the chase.

“No. Nothing like that,” he told me, coming closer to me.

He smiled that heart-stopping way his brother does, and I almost broke down.

“So you’re saying he’s alive?”

I looked into his eyes, hoping to get some type of solace from them, but I didn’t. I started to feel regret.

“Well, I wouldn’t say that either. But he’s breathing. Look…um…I’m sorry to come here like this, but he wanted me to give you this.”

I looked at the envelope in Marc’s hand, and I recognized Mason’s handwriting. He simply wrote “Allura” on the outside, and I knew what was in that envelope. I didn’t want it. I shook my head. When he saw I wasn’t reaching for it, he placed it on the island next to me.

“He wanted me to tell you that this place is yours.”

I started to get angry.

“I don’t want this place. Does he think he can buy me?”

“No. I don’t think he’s trying to buy you, Allura.”

“My name is Max, and I don’t want this.”

He put his hands up, seeing that I was getting agitated.

“Okay, Max.”

I shook my head and held on the counter to steady myself.

“I can’t believe this. He’s going back on his word…that son of a bitch.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Yeah well…” I grabbed the envelope, ripped it into as many pieces as I could, and handed it back to him. “You can tell him that if he doesn’t have the balls to tell me that he doesn’t want me in person, then fuck him! Thank you very much!”

I placed his keys on the counter and put my coat on.

“Wait, Max,” Marcus started, but I put my hand up to stop him.

I took a deep breath and spat, “Please! There’s no need, really. I was dumb enough to fall for someone I knew never really wanted me. I mean, look at me; why would he be happy with someone like me, right? And today it is crystal clear that’s the case.”