Ruined: Loving An Alpha Male: BWWM Romance (26 page)

I looked into Marcus’ eyes. He looked so much like Mason. I wanted it to be him standing in front of me; not Marc. I felt the tears starting to fall.

I said softly, “I miss him so much, Marcus.”

“I’m sorry, Maxine. I really am. For what it’s worth, you were the best thing my brother could have ever hoped and dreamed for. He’s going through some shit right now. I wish I could tell you things will be different in time, but I don’t really know if it will. Just remember the last things he said to you and hold on to that for as long as you can. I know whatever he said to you, he meant every word.”

I smiled weakly.

“Oh for it to be that simple.”

He smiled at me.

“I know.”

I turned to walk away.

But before I opened the door, I looked to my left and glanced at Marcus and asked, “Did he accomplish what he set out to do?”

“Well, he never really said. But you know him probably better than I do. I’m sure you could better answer that than I can.”

I grunted and said softly, “I wish that were true.”

I walked out of the apartment and never looked back.

“Listen Jack, I don’t really care how you get the son of a bitch to sign the papers. That’s your job. You brought this to me saying you had everything wrapped up. But clearly you don’t. No, I’m not going up on shit. If he wants to sell, then you have my offer. Other than that, I’m done.”

I hung up. ‘Fucking idiot.’

I saw the door to my office open, and in walked my better half. My brother had this disappointed look on his face, and I wondered what the hell did I do now?

I’ve been home for two weeks now, and it’s taken a while for me to get used to all the changes. I’ve been through three secretaries so far. Seems they can’t handle my bluntness and impatience. I really don’t have time for the niceties. I just need someone competent enough to do what I ask; simple as that. My brother said I intimated people. Well, too fucking bad. They need to grow a set, if you ask me.

Anyway, I watched my brother claim a seat in front of me. But he didn’t speak. He just looked at me.

So, instead of trying to figure out why his panties were in a knot, I asked, “How was Philly?”

Marc went out to smooth over some investors that he claims I rubbed the wrong way. He knows damn well that I couldn’t care less about some old, over-privileged ass-wipe with so much money they don’t know what to do with it, but when you tell them how to make more, they question your judgment. So he told me he needed to go make nice and hoped he was able to fix the damage I was causing with my rudeness or, the way he called it, “my fucked up attitude.”

“Uneventful,” he replied.

I watched my brother’s eyes, and I sighed.

‘Motherfucker.’

“You went to go see her, didn’t you?”

I had given Marc strict instructions to stop by my place, grab a few things, and leave a letter for Max on the island for her to read. He wasn’t supposed to be there when she got home. But leave it up to my brother to fuck this up.

“Well, hell, bro. What did you expect? She is living there…or
was
living there. Nice place, by the way.”

I frowned.

“Wait, what do you mean she ‘was’ living there?”

“Oh yeah. She gave me these for you. She told me to tell you ‘fuck you very much.’”

He placed before me a set of keys that I gave her with a figure of Rocky on the keychain, and an envelope that apparently has been ripped up multiple times.

I closed my eyes and leaned back in my chair.

“This is so fucked up.”

“You fucked up, bro. I mean, from what I could tell and from the little that I talked to her, you fucked up badly.”

“I know I fucked up. You don’t have to remind me. I had to do it. I couldn’t go back there.”

“So what? Instead you break her heart?”

My eyes narrowed on my brother.

“I didn’t break her heart.”

“Are you joking? I may have seen her only on the TV screen. But what I saw just a few days ago was a shell of the woman. She’s been waiting for you to come back for four weeks, and you figured you saying goodbye in a letter was all she was good for?”

I stood up.

“Marcus, you don’t understand. Okay?”

“You’re right bro, I don’t. Why don’t you explain it to me?”

I shook my head and headed to the bar that has become my go-to place when things get heavy.

“I wish I could, man. I really do.”

“Look, I get it. Okay? You have a lot of heavy shit going on. But that woman was the best thing that ever happened to you. You’re nothing without her, Mason. She deserved better than what you did to her.”

I snapped.

“Don’t you think I fucking know that,” I yelled. “Don’t you think every day I feel like the scum of the earth because I hurt her? I know I’m not shit. I know I’m waste of fucking space. But I didn’t know what else to do. There is so much shit going on in my head right now. I don’t even understand how I’m still breathing. I couldn’t come home to her like this, Marcus. I couldn’t do that to her. I love her too much.”

I took a shot of Scotch, poured myself another one, and walked back to my desk. I plopped down and stared at the keys and the letter.

“She never read it, did she?” I asked, already seeing that the envelope was never opened.

But I still wanted to ask.

“Nope.” I then heard my brother chuckle. “You put a check in there, didn’t you?”

I nodded.

“Yeah, the MMA amateur league sent me my winnings, and I was just sending her the money.”

He laughed.

“That’s a hellavah woman you let go.”

“Yeah, tell me about it.” I slouched further in my seat and loosened my tie. “I miss her so much, I can’t breathe half the time,” I admitted.

“Then go get that extraordinary woman, Mace.”

I shook my head and took the shot of liquid.

“She is amazing, isn’t she?” I sighed. “I don’t deserve her, bro. I don’t deserve her.”

2 years later…

“Why are we here again?” I said to her.

“Because Abe is your friend, Mason, and that’s what friends do.”

I sat on the hotel bed, watching Diane remove her clothes from the suitcase and hang them up.

I scoffed, “Yeah, since when do you care about my friends?”

She gave me a dirty look.

“I don’t care too much for Abe, I’ll admit that. Or his girlfriend for that matter. I mean, didn’t you say he was breaking up with her?”

I didn’t answer her. Diane doesn’t have a clue what happens when the heart wants something that the brain didn’t quite figure out yet. I watched her bend over and show her ass to me, which sparked my interest. I got up and came up behind her and brushed myself against her.

“Why don’t you do that later?”

I placed my hands on her hips and grinded my semi-erection on her little ass. She stood up and smacked my hand.

“Stop that. I have to get my clothes out of the suitcase. You know I hate wrinkled clothes. Besides, I’m still sore from your little shenanigans this morning.”

I laughed. “First of all, there’s nothing little about me. Secondly, I thought you liked my shenanigans. I mean you screamed your head off telling me to fuck you hard, so…”

Diane frowned. “Yeah, well, now I’m sore. So you’ll have to wait until I soak unless you’ll take your time and make love to me.”

She turned around in my arms and wrapped her arms around my neck. I moved from her and smacked her ass.

“Sorry, baby. Fast and hard; that’s my specialty.”

I went to my suitcase and pulled out my clothes to hang them up from my garment bag.

“There, I’m done. I’m going to the bar.”

I heard Diane groan behind me, but I kept walking.

“It’s only 3 p.m., Mason. Really?”

“Well, hell, I’m late then. I better get to it.”

I headed out of my room and down to the lobby to get a much-needed drink. Five hours of driving with Diane talking about this wedding was driving me to drink. Well, I’m not being completely honest; I’ve been driven to drink for far less things than wedding talk.

Yup, you heard me say it. I’m getting married. But don’t congratulate me just yet. I’m marrying for all the wrong reasons. I’m not deeply in love to where I can’t live without this woman. I’ll never open myself up to that shit again.

My reasons for marrying Diane are simple: I’m a grumpy, evil bastard who is hell-bent on success, and Diane’s connections are going to get me there.

This was her idea, not mine. But she made a compelling argument, so I bit. If you haven’t guessed it, Diane is the daughter of the man I hate almost as much as I hate my father: Charles Bernstein.

I know. I’ve said I couldn’t trust her. To be honest, I still can’t. But you know what they say: “keep your enemies closer.”

My brother and best friend AB think I’m out of my mind, but I just don’t see marriage like they do anymore. I see it as two people with similar likes who are getting together on a business venture, where both parties come to an understanding to give each other what they need to sustain a healthy relationship. I promised to fuck her brains out whenever I feel the need, which can be often. I provide her with the wherewithal that allows her to live with the means she’s accustomed to and provide a stable home. She supplies me with her father’s business connections, as I deem necessary. She also lets me continue to be the asshole that I no doubt have become.

See, it’s a win-win for all parties involved. I’ll leave the madly in love shit to everyone else in the world. That shit isn’t for me.

I find the bar, mosey on up to the counter, and ask for the most expensive Scotch they have. My brother comes in and sits next to me after I’ve had at least two drinks and am working on my third.

“Starting already I see?” he asked me.

I didn’t make eye contact. I just nodded.

“I need to get ready for this great four-day weekend from hell that I’m about to embark on.” I finally faced my brother. “I mean of all places, we are at South Padre Island because AB’s woman got the urge to do a road trip for her birthday and wanted to go to the beach.”

“Well, at least we found a pretty decent hotel. This resort is pretty nice.”

We’re staying at the Pearl, which sits right off the beach, and I did have to admit the place was nice. The bar was and is just what I needed.

“So what’s on the agenda today? Do you know?” I asked him.

“I haven’t got the foggiest. I think Tiffany and Marie are cooking up something for us to do. So be prepared to play nice.”

I sighed, “Yeah, I won’t make any promises.”

As you can see, I haven’t been the best person to be around. I can’t put a finger on why I’m so moody. I mean sometimes it’s the littlest things that irritate the hell out of me. No one really likes to be around me much, except my brother and AB. For the life of me, I still haven’t figured out why they put up with me. I truly can sometimes be a complete asshole.

I drink more than I should too, which could be the reason for my fucked up attitude and moods. I won’t say I’m an alcoholic. But hell, what thriving alcoholic do you know will admit they can’t live without it. Look, I drink to keep the demons at bay in my dreams. Since I can hold my liquor, I have to start kind of early, so I can be good and fucked up when I lie down.

AB came up on the other side of me.

“Starting early, I see.”

“Yup. Don’t judge me,” I told him.

“Yeah, okay. Will you please just try not to be too big of an ass on this trip?” AB asked.

I looked at him.

“What on earth do you mean? I am a very pleasant drunk, if I do say so myself.”

AB huffed, and my brother smirked at me.

“Yeah well, just take it easy on Tiffany; she already thinks you don’t like her.”

“No. Actually she doesn’t like me,” I corrected.

“Well, hell. Can you blame her? Every time she sees you, you’re mouthing off at someone, getting into heated arguments over dumb shit. Then your brother and I have to come in and save the day before shit gets ugly,” AB informed me.

I ordered another drink.

“Well, shit. You don’t have to butt in, you know. I know how to handle myself.”

“Uh-huh, we know you do.”

He rolled his eyes and ordered himself a gin and tonic.

“Well, look. This trip isn’t about you, so can you please try and play nice?” my brother asked.

I took the drink I had to my mouth, but not before saying, “I can’t make any promises.”

Okay, so throughout the night I stayed on my best behavior. I drank as much as I could during dinner and in the restaurant at the hotel. Not once did I say anything untoward. I looked around the room at the company I kept and sighed.

My brother and his wife, Marie, who—if I hadn’t said it before—is a knock-out, are smiling and touching each other. They don’t care who is around to witness their public displays of affection. I mean sometimes it’s nauseating to see. But I have to admit that I’m envious of my brother. He has a great woman by his side that he loves and adores, and she feels the same way about him. They have three beautiful kids, and I think they are trying for one more. I know I don’t have that kind of happiness in the cards for myself, but at least one of us gets to enjoy life.

Now AB, or Abraham Butler, has been our best friend since childhood. He’s about the same height as my brother and I, and around the same build. He works out with us all the time. Well, I haven’t seen the gym in a while, but I still got it. So he’s in shape. He’s dark-skinned, and according to what some of the ladies say, he is easy on the eyes. I think Tiffany agrees, because she can’t get enough of him no matter how flakey he is with her. Tiffany is a stunner in her own right. She is about five seven and has curves in the right places. She is caramel in color and has shoulder length hair that she wears long and straight along her beautiful oval shaped face. She seems to be a sweetheart so, for the life of me, I don’t understand what she sees in AB.

AB is a player by definition; the entire definition. I typically see his ass with a different female almost every weekend. But most of his time, he spends with Tiffany. I’ve asked him if he and Tiffany were serious about each other, and he always says, “Well, I’m not sure about how she feels. But me; I’m not ready for a committed relationship.” It’s fucked up; I know. I asked him if she knows he’s not ready, and he claims she does. But sometimes I’m not that sure. I mean Tiffany seems to be a bright woman who when we are out can probably get almost any man she wants. I mean I sometimes see schmucks trip over their feet staring at her. So something has to be wrong with this picture. She can’t just accept AB’s treatment of her and not want more.

But, hell, what do I know, right? I’m marrying a woman for success and money. Hell, I don’t even know if she has feelings for me. I think she might have some. There are times where I catch her looking at me as if she wants to reveal some deep emotion, but I don’t let her. When she gets that look, I usually fuck her into silence, and she drops it.

Don’t get me wrong, I haven’t turned into a complete heartless SOB. I mean I care for her. We have a history together. Even though it’s made up of disloyalty and back stabbing, I still care for her. I wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to her, so that has to count for something, right?

Anyway, I tuned into the conversation when Tiffany mentions her cousin and best friend are coming tonight to join in the birthday festivities.

“When will she get here?” Marie asked.

“She should be here soon. I can’t wait either. I haven’t seen her in a few years, and I’m dying to have her back finally. She’s the closest thing I have to a sister and one of the only close family I have since my mom past away.”

Damn, her mom passed? I didn’t remember hearing about that. Last time I remember, her and her mom were planning a cruise this summer. I frowned and looked at her.

She looked over at me, “What?”

“Nothing… I’m … I’m just sorry to hear about your mom,” I stumbled out.

She looked at me strangely and, as I looked around the table, so did everyone else.

“Damn, what?” I snapped.

“Nothing, bro,” AB said quickly.

Marc and Marie just smiled. Diane looked at me as if I had shit on my face. Tiffany smiled at me for the first time since I met her six months ago.

“Thanks, Mace.”

“So, um… where has your friend been all this time?” Marc asked her, trying to get the attention off of me.

Thank God.

“Well, she’s been on the east coast for a very long time. She used to live with me in Dallas for a few, but some bad things happened, and she was forced to leave.”

“What do you mean bad things?” AB asked.

She squirmed a little in her seat.

“Well, it’s not my story to tell. But I’ll just say her father is a messed up and mentally twisted individual. His problems trickled down to her, and she had to leave the state. Anyway, she’s been gone for years and has decided to come back. She came for my mom’s funeral and decided it was time to move back to Dallas.

“Oh, that’s cool,” Marie responded.

Dinner was pretty good, and the view of the gulf through the windows was amazing. The weather in May typically is pretty good in Texas; not too hot and not too breezy. You can enjoy the day and night. Tiffany started telling us all the things she had planned for us this weekend. She wanted the guys to be able to enjoy ourselves, so she booked us tee time at the golf course a few miles from here. She rented a fishing boat for us all to enjoy. And when it gets dark, we plan on bar hopping or resort hopping to find some nighttime entertainment.

It’s sounding pretty great, but it’s odd that she had to plan her own birthday celebration. I looked over at AB and shook my head. He knew what I was thinking, but he just stuck up his middle finger at me and topped off the wine in his glass. I smiled; it seems I’m rubbing off on him.

I looked over at Diane. Drinking, of course, makes me horny, so I rubbed her leg and gave her a look that told her I was ready to go. She rolled her eyes but stayed put. See normally this works. But apparently I’m paying for something I’d done or hadn’t done, so I sat back against my chair and stewed. My brother, who knows me ever so well, just chuckled next to me.

I ordered another drink, knowing this was going to be complete torture and wondered if this night could get any worse. When Tiffany screamed at the top of her lungs and jumped up, I realized it probably could.

“Monkey!!!!” she exclaimed and darted behind me.

I looked over at my brother next to me and AB across from me, and we all mouthed, “Monkey.” I laughed and took my drink. Then for some reason, I started to feel funny. I frowned and touched my heart. The hairs on the back of my neck rose slightly. I felt like warm a little bit, and my senses heightened as if I was heading into battle. My brother looked over at me.

“You alright?” he asked.

I closed my eyes and tried to gather myself. I haven’t felt this feeling since…

“Ho-ly shit!” I heard my brother say.