Plays Unpleasant (12 page)

TRENCH
[
defiantly
] From interest: not from houses. My hands are clean as far as that goes. Interest on a mortgage.

SARTORIUS
[
forcibly
] Yes: a mortgage on my property. When I, to use your own words, screw, and bully, and drive these people to pay what they have freely undertaken to pay me, I cannot touch one penny of the money they give me until I have first paid you your seven hundred a year out of it. What Lickcheese did for me, I do for you. He and I are alike intermediaries: you are the principal. It is because of the risks I run through the poverty of my tenants that you exact interest from me at the monstrous and exorbitant rate of seven per cent, forcing me to exact the uttermost farthing in my turn from the tenants. And yet, Dr Trench, you, who have never done a hand's turn of work in connection with the place, you have not hesitated to speak contemptuously of me because I have applied my industry and forethought to the management of our property, and am maintaining it by the same honorable means.

COKANE
[
greatly relieved
] Admirable, my dear sir, excellent! I felt instinctively that Trench was talking unpractical nonsense. Let us drop the subject, my dear boy: you only make an ass of yourself when you meddle in business matters. I told you it was inevitable.

TRENCH
[
dazed
] Do you mean to say that I am just as bad as you are?

COKANE
. Shame, Harry, shame! Grossly bad taste! Be a gentleman. Apologize.

SARTORIUS
. Allow me, Mr Cokane. [
To Trench
] If, when you say you are just as bad as I am, you mean that you are just as powerless to alter the state of society, then you are unfortunately quite right.

Trench does not at once reply. He stares at Sartorius, and then hangs his head and gazes stupidly at the floor, morally beggared, with his clasped knuckles between his knees, a living picture of disillusion. Cokane comes sympathetically to him and puts an encouraging hand on his shoulder
.

COKANE
[
gently
] Come, Harry, come! Pull yourself together.
You owe a word to Mr Sartorius.

TRENCH
[
still stupefied, slowly unlaces his fingers; puts his hands on his knees, and lifts himself upright; pulls his waistcoat straight with a tug; and tries to take his disenchantment philosophically as he says, turning to Sartorius
] Well, people who live in glass houses have no right to throw stones. But, on my honor, I never knew that my house was a glass one until you pointed it out. I beg your pardon. [
He offers his hand
].

SARTORIUS
. Say no more, Harry: your feelings do you credit: I assure you I feel exactly as you do, myself. Every man who has a heart must wish that a better state of things was practicable. But unhappily it is not.

TRENCH
[
a little consoled
] I suppose not.

COKANE
. Not a doubt of it, my dear sir: not a doubt of it. The increase of the population is at the bottom of it all.

SARTORIUS
[
to Trench
] I trust I have convinced you that you need no more object to Blanche sharing my fortune than I need object to her sharing yours.

TRENCH
[
with dull wistfulness
] It seems so. We're all in the same swim, it appears. I hope youll excuse my making such a fuss.

SARTORIUS
. Not another word. In fact, I thank you for refraining from explaining the nature of your scruples to Blanche: I admire that in you, Harry. Perhaps it will be as well to leave her in ignorance.

TRENCH
[
anxiously
] But I must explain now. You saw how angry she was.

SARTORIUS
. You had better leave that to me. [
He looks at his watch, and rings the bell
]. Lunch is nearly due: while you are getting ready for it I can see Blanche; and I hope the result will be quite satisfactory to us all. [
The parlormaid answers the bell: he addresses her with his habitual peremptoriness
]. Tell Miss Blanche I want her.

THE PARLORMAID
[
her face falling expressively
] Yes, sir. [
She turns reluctantly to go
].

SARTORIUS
[
on second thoughts
] Stop. [
She stops
]. My love to
Miss Blanche; and I am alone here and would like to see her for a moment if she is not busy.

THE PARLORMAID
[
relieved
] Yes sir. [
She goes out
].

SARTORIUS
. I will shew you your room, Harry. I hope you will soon be perfectly at home in it. You also, Mr Cokane, must learn your way about here. Let us go before Blanche comes. [
He leads the way to the door
].

COKANE
[
cheerily, following him
] Our little discussion has given me quite an appetite.

TRENCH
[
moodily
] It's taken mine away.

The two friends go out, Sartorius holding the door for them. He is following when the parlormaid reappears. She is a snivelling sympathetic creature, and is on the verge of tears
.

SARTORIUS
. Well: is Miss Blanche coming?

THE PARLORMAID
. Yes, sir. I think so, sir.

SARTORIUS
. Wait here until she comes; and tell her that I will be back in a moment. I have to shew Dr Trench his room.

THE PARLORMAID
. Yes, sir. [
She comes into the room. A sound between a sob and a sniff escapes her
].

Sartorius looks suspiciously at her. He half closes the door
.

SARTORIUS
[
lowering his voice
] Whats the matter with you?

THE PARLORMAID
[
whimpering
] Nothing, sir.

SARTORIUS
[
at the same pitch, more menacingly
] Take care how you behave yourself when there are visitors present. Do you hear.

THE PARLORMAID
. Yes, sir. [
Sartorius goes out
].

SARTORIUS
[
outside
] Excuse me: I had a word to say to the servant.

Trench is heard replying
‘Not at all,'
and Cokane
‘Dont mention it, my dear sir.'

Their voices pass out of hearing. The parlormaid sniffs; dries her eyes; and takes some brown paper and a ball of string from a cupboard under the bookcase. She puts them on the table, and wrestles with another sob. Blanche comes in, with a jewel box in her hands. Her expression is that of a strong and determined woman in
an intense passion. The maid looks at her with abject wounded affection and bodily terror
.

BLANCHE
[
looking round
] Wheres my father?

THE PARLORMAID
[
tremulously propitiatory
] He left word he'd be back directly, miss. I'm sure he wont be long. Heres the paper and string all ready, miss. [
She spreads the paper on the table
]. Can I do the parcel for you, miss?

BLANCHE
. No. Mind your own business. [
She empties the box on the sheet of brown paper. It contains a packet of letters and some jewellery. She plucks a ring from her finger and throws it down on the heap so angrily that it rolls away and falls on the carpet. The maid submissively picks it up and puts it on the table, again sniffing and drying her eyes
]. What are you crying for?

THE PARLORMAID
[
plaintively
] You speak so brutal to me, Miss Blanche; and I do love you so. I'm sure no one else would stay and put up with what I have to put up with. BLANCHE. Then go. I dont want you. Do you hear? Go.

THE PARLORMAID
[
piteously, falling on her knees
] Oh no, Miss Blanche. Dont send me away from you: dont –

BLANCHE
[
with fierce disgust
] Agh! I hate the sight of you. [
The maid, wounded to the heart, cries bitterly
]. Hold your tongue. Are those two gentlemen gone?

THE PARLORMAID
[
weeping
] Oh, how could you say such a thing to me, Miss Blanche: me that –

BLANCHE
[
seizing her by the hair and throat
] Stop that noise, I tell you, unless you want me to kill you.

THE PARLORMAID
[
protesting and imploring, but in a carefully subdued voice
] Let me go, Miss Blanche: you know youll be sorry: you always are. Remember how dreadfully my head was cut last time.

BLANCHE
[
raging
] Answer me, will you. Have they gone?

THE PARLORMAID
. Lickcheese has gone, looking dreadf – [
she breaks off with a stifled cry as Blanche's fingers tighten furiously on her
].

BLANCHE
. Did I ask you about Lickcheese? You beast: you know who I mean: youre doing it on purpose.

THE PARLORMAID
[
in a gasp
] Theyre staying to lunch.

BLANCHE
[
looking intently into her face
] He?

THE PARLORMAID
[
whispering with a sympathetic nod
] Yes, miss. [
Blanche lets her drop, and stands forlorn, with despair in her face. The parlormaid, recognizing the passing of the crisis of passion, and fearing no further violence, sits discomfitedly on her heels, and tries to arrange her hair and cap, whimpering a little with exhaustion and soreness
]. Now youve set my hands all trembling; and I shall jingle the things on the tray at lunch so that everybody will notice me. It's too bad of you, Miss Bl – [
Sartorius coughs outside
].

BLANCHE
[
quickly
] Sh! Get up. [
The parlormaid hastily rises, and goes out as demurely as she can. Sartorius glances sternly at her and comes to Blanche
].

SARTORIUS
[
mournfully
] My dear: can you not make a little better fight with your temper?

BLANCHE
[
panting with the subsidence of her fit
] No I cant. I wont. I do my best. Nobody who really cares for me gives me up because of my temper. I never shew my temper to any of the servants but that girl; and she is the only one that will stay with us.

SARTORIUS
. But, my dear, remember that we have to meet our visitors at luncheon presently. I have run down before them to say that I have arranged that little difficulty with Trench. It was only a piece of mischief made by Lick-cheese. Trench is a young fool; but it is all right now.

BLANCHE
. I dont want to marry a fool.

SARTORIUS
. Then you will have to take a husband over thirty, Blanche. You must not expect too much, my child. You will be richer than your husband, and, I think, cleverer too. I am better pleased that it should be so.

BLANCHE
[
seizing his arm
] Papa.

SARTORIUS
. Yes, my dear.

BLANCHE
. May I do as I like about this marriage; or must I do as you like?

SARTORIUS
[
uneasily
] Blanche –

BLANCHE
. No, papa: you must answer me.

SARTORIUS
[
abandoning his self-control, and giving way recklessly to his affection for her
] You shall do as you like now and always, my beloved child. I only wish to do as my own darling pleases.

BLANCHE
. Then I will not marry him. He has played fast and loose with me. He thinks us beneath him: he is ashamed of us: he dared to object to being benefited by you – as if it were not natural for him to owe you everything; and yet the money tempted him after all. [
She throws her arms hysterically about his neck
] Papa: I dont want to marry: I only want to stay with you and be happy as we have always been. I hate the thought of being married: I dont care for him: I dont want to leave you. [
Trench and Cokane come in; but she can hear nothing but her own voice and does not notice them
]. Only send him away: promise me that you will send him away and keep me here with you as we have always – [
seeing Trench
] Oh! [
She hides her face on her father's breast
].

TRENCH
[
nervously
] I hope we are not intruding.

SARTORIUS
[
formidably
] Dr Trench: my daughter has changed her mind.

TRENCH
[
disconcerted
] Am I to understand –

COKANE
[
striking in in his most vinegary manner
] I think, Harry, under the circumstances, we have no alternative but to seek luncheon elsewhere.

TRENCH
. But, Mr Sartorius, have you explained?

SARTORIUS
[
straight in Trench's face
] I have explained, sir. Good morning. [
Trench, outraged, advances a step. Blanche sinks away from her father into a chair. Sartorius stands his ground rigidly
].

TRENCH
[
turning away indignantly
] Come on, Cokane.

COKANE
. Certainly, Harry, certainly. [
Trench goes out, very angry. The parlormaid, with a tray jingling in her hands, passes outside
]. You have disappointed me, sir, very acutely. Good morning. [
He follows Trench
].

The drawing room in Sartorius's house in Bedford Square, London. Winter evening: fire burning, curtains drawn, and lamps lighted. Sartorius and Blanche are sitting glumly near the fire. The parlormaid, who has just brought in coffee, is placing it on a small table between them. There is a large table in the middle of the room. Looking from it towards the two windows, the pianoforte, a grand, is on the right, with a photographic portrait of Blanche on a miniature easel on a sort of bedspread which covers the top, shewing that the instrument is seldom, if ever, opened. There are two doors: one on the left, further forward than the fireplace, leading to the study; the other by the corner nearest the right hand window, leading to the lobby. Blanche has her workbasket at hand, and is knitting. Sartorius, closer to the fire, has a newspaper. The parlormaid goes out
.