Plays Unpleasant (11 page)

BLANCHE
. But he'll give the money to me, not to you.

TRENCH
. It's the same thing. [
With an effort to be sentimental
] I love you too well to see any distinction. [
He puts up his hand halfheartedly: she takes it over his shoulder with equal indecision. They are both trying hard to conciliate one another
].

BLANCHE
. Thats a very nice way of putting it, Harry; but I'm sure theres something I ought to know. Has papa been disagreeable?

TRENCH
. No: he has been very kind – to me, at least. It's not that. It's nothing you can guess, Blanche. It would only pain you – perhaps offend you. I dont mean, of course, that we shall live always on seven hundred a year. I intend to go at my profession in earnest, and work my fingers to the bone.

BLANCHE
[
playing with his fingers, still over his shoulder
] But I shouldnt like you with your fingers worked to the bone, Harry. I must be told what the matter is. [
He takes his hand quickly away: she flushes angrily; and her voice is no longer even an imitation of the voice of a lady as she exclaims
] I hate secrets; and I dont like to be treated as if I were a child.

TRENCH
[
annoyed by her tone
] Theres nothing to tell. I dont choose to trespass on your father's generosity: thats all.

BLANCHE
. You had no objection half an hour ago, when you met me in the hall, and shewed me all the letters. Your family doesnt object. Do you object?

TRENCH
[
earnestly
] I do not indeed. It's only a question of money.

BLANCHE
[
imploringly, the voice softening and refining for the last time
] Harry: theres no use in our fencing in this way. Papa will never consent to my being absolutely dependent on you; and I dont like the idea of it myself. If you even mention such a thing to him you will break off the match: you will indeed.

TRENCH
[
obstinately
] I cant help that.

BLANCHE
[
white with rage
] You cant help –! Oh, I'm beginning to understand. I will save you the trouble. You can tell papa that
I
have broken off the match; and then there will be no further difficulty.

TRENCH
[
taken aback
] What do you mean, Blanche? Are you offended?

BLANCHE
. Offended! How dare you ask me?

TRENCH
. Dare!

BLANCHE
. How much more manly it would have been to confess that you were trifling with me that time on the Rhine! Why did you come here today? Why did you write to your people?

TRENCH
. Well, Blanche, if you are going to lose your temper –

BLANCHE
. Thats no answer. You depended on your family to get you out of your engagement; and they did not object: they were only too glad to be rid of you. You were not mean enough to stay away, and not manly enough to tell the truth. You thought you could provoke me to break the engagement: thats so like a man – to try to put the woman in the wrong. well, you have your way: I release you. I wish youd opened my eyes by downright brutality; by striking me; by anything rather than shuffling as you have done.

TRENCH
[
hotly
] Shuffling! If I'd thought you capable of turning on me like this, I'd never have spoken to you. Ive a good mind never to speak to you again.

BLANCHE
. You shall not – not ever. I will take care of that [
going to the door
].

TRENCH
[
alarmed
] What are you going to do?

BLANCHE
. To get your letters: your false letters, and your presents: your hateful presents, to return them to you. I'm very glad it's all broken off; and if – [
as she puts her hand to the door it is opened from without by Sartorius, who enters and shuts it behind him
].

SARTORIUS
[
interrupting her severely
] Hush, pray, Blanche: you are forgetting yourself: you can be heard all over the house. What is the matter?

BLANCHE
[
too angry to care whether she is overheard or not
] You had better ask him. He has some excuse about money.

SARTORIUS
. Excuse! Excuse for what?

BLANCHE
. For throwing me over.

TRENCH
[
vehemently
] I declare I never –

BLANCHE
[
interrupting him still more vehemently
] You did. You did. You are doing nothing else –

SARTORIUS
[
in desperation at the noise
] Silence! [
Still more formidably
] Silence!! [
They obey. He proceeds firmly
] Blanche: you must control your temper: I will not have these repeated scenes within hearing of the servants. Dr Trench will answer for himself to me. You had better leave us. [
He opens the door, and calls
] Mr Cokane: will you kindly join us here?

COKANE
[
in the conservatory
] Coming, my dear sir, coming. [
He appears at the door
].

BLANCHE
. I'm sure I have no wish to stay. I hope I shall find you alone when I come back. [
An inarticulate exclamation bursts from Trench. She goes out, passing Cokane resentfully
.
He looks after her in surprise; then looks questioningly at the two men. Sartorius shuts the door with an angry stroke, and turns to Trench
].

SARTORIUS
[
aggressively
] Sir –

TRENCH
[
interrupting him more aggressively
] Well, sir?

COKANE
[
getting between them
] Gently, dear boy, gently. Suavity, Harry, suavity.

SARTORIUS
[
mastering himself
] If you have anything to say to me, Dr Trench, I will listen to you patiently. You will then allow me to say what I have to say on my part.

TRENCH
[
ashamed
] I beg your pardon. Of course, yes. Fire away.

SARTORIUS
. May I take it that you have refused to fulfil your engagement with my daughter?

TRENCH
. Certainly not: your daughter has refused to fulfil her engagement with me. But the match is broken off, if thats what you mean.

SARTORIUS
. Dr Trench: I will be plain with you. I know that Blanche has a quick temper. It is part of her strong character and her physical courage, which is greater than that of most men, I can assure you. You must be prepared for that. If this quarrel is only Blanche's temper, you may take my word for it that it will be over before tomorrow. But I understood from what she said just now that you have made some difficulty on the score of money.

TRENCH
[
with renewed excitement
] It was Miss Sartorius who made the difficulty. I shouldnt have minded that so much, if it hadnt been for the things she said. She shewed that she doesnt care that [
snapping his fingers
] for me.

COKANE
[
soothingly
] Dear boy –

TRENCH
. Hold your tongue, Billy: it's enough to make a man wish he'd never seen a woman. Look here, Mr Sartorius: I put the matter to her as delicately and considerately as possible, never mentioning a word of my reasons, but just asking her to be content to live on my own little income; and yet she turned on me as if I'd behaved like a savage.

SARTORIUS
. Live on your income! Impossible: my daughter is accustomed to a proper establishment. Did I not expressly undertake to provide for that? Did she not tell you I promised her to do so?

TRENCH
. Yes, I know all about that, Mr Sartorius; and I'm greatly obliged to you; but I'd rather not take anything from you except Blanche herself.

SARTORIUS
. And why did you not say so before?

TRENCH
. No matter why. Let us drop the subject.

SARTORIUS
. No matter! But it does matter, sir. I insist on an answer. Why did you not say so before?

TRENCH
. I didnt know before.

SARTORIUS
[
provoked
] Then you ought to have known your own mind on a point of such vital importance.

TRENCH
[
much injured
] I ought to have known! Cokane: is this reasonable? [
Cokane's features are contorted by an air of judicial consideration; but he says nothing; and Trench again addresses Sartorius, this time with a marked diminution of respect
]. How the deuce could I have known? You didnt tell me.

SARTORIUS
. You are trifling with me, sir. You said that you did not know your own mind before.

TRENCH
. I said nothing of the sort. I say that I did not know where your money came from before.

SARTORIUS
. That is not true, sir. I –

COKANE
. Gently, my dear sir. Gently, Harry, dear boy. Suaviter in modo: fort –

TRENCH
. Let him begin, then. What does he mean by attacking me in this fashion?

SARTORIUS
. Mr Cokane: you will bear me out. I was explicit on the point. I said I was a self-made man; and I am not ashamed of it.

TRENCH
. You are nothing of the sort. I found out this morning from your man – Lickcheese, or whatever his confounded name is – that your fortune has been made out of a parcel of unfortunate creatures that have hardly enough to keep body and soul together – made by screwing,
and bullying, and threatening, and all sorts of pettifogging tyranny.

SARTORIUS
[
outraged
] Sir! [
They confront one another threateningly
].

COKANE
[
softly
] Rent must be paid, dear boy. It is inevitable, Harry, inevitable. [
Trench turns away petulantly. Sartorius looks after him reflectively for a moment; then resumes his former deliberate and dignified manner, and addresses Trench with studied consideration, but with a perceptible condescension to his youth and folly
].

SARTORIUS
. I am afraid, Dr Trench, that you are a very young hand at business; and I am sorry I forgot that for a moment or so. May I ask you to suspend your judgment until we have had a little quiet discussion of this sentimental notion of yours? if you will excuse me for calling it so. [
He takes a chair, and motions Trench to another on his right
].

COKANE
. Very nicely put, my dear sir. Come, Harry: sit down and listen; and consider the matter calmly and judicially. Dont be headstrong.

TRENCH
. I have no objection to sit down and listen; but I dont see how that can make black white; and I am tired of being turned on as if I were in the wrong. [
He sits down
].

Cokane sits at Trench's elbow, on his right. They compose themselves for a conference
.

SARTORIUS
. I assume, to begin with, Dr Trench, that you are not a Socialist, or anything of that sort.

TRENCH
. Certainly not. I'm a Conservative. At least, if I ever took the trouble to vote, I should vote for the Conservative and against the other fellow.

COKANE
. True blue, Harry, true blue!

SARTORIUS
. I am glad to find that so far we are in perfect sympathy. I am, of course, a Conservative. Not a narrow or prejudiced one, I hope, not at all opposed to true progress. Still, a sound Conservative. As to Lickcheese, I need say no more about him than that I have dismissed him from my service this morning for a breach of trust;
and you will hardly accept his testimony as friendly or disinterested. As to my business, it is simply to provide homes suited to the small means of very poor people, who require roofs to shelter them just like other people. Do you suppose I can keep up those roofs for nothing?

TRENCH
. Yes: thats all very fine; but the point is, what sort of homes do you give them for their money? People must live somewhere, or else go to jail. Advantage is taken of that to make them pay for houses that are not fit for dogs. Why dont you build proper dwellings, and give fair value for the money you take?

SARTORIUS
[
pitying his innocence
] My young friend: these poor people do not know how to live in proper dwellings: they would wreck them in a week. You doubt me: try it for yourself. You are welcome to replace all the missing banisters, handrails, cistern lids and dusthole tops at your own expense; and you will find them missing again in less than three days: burnt, sir, every stick of them. I do not blame the poor creatures: they need fires, and often have no other way of getting them. But I really cannot spend pound after pound in repairs for them to pull down, when I can barely get them to pay me four and sixpence a week for a room, which is the recognized fair London rent. No, gentlemen: when people are very poor, you cannot help them, no matter how much you may sympathize with them. It does them more harm than good in the long run. I prefer to save my money in order to provide additional houses for the homeless, and to lay by a little for Blanche. [
He looks at them. They are silent: Trench unconvinced, but talked down; Cokane humanely perplexed. Sartorius bends his brows; comes forward in his chair as if gathering himself for a spring; and addresses himself, with impressive significance, to Trench
]. And now, Dr Trench, may I ask what your income is derived from?