Not Yet (26 page)

The day before State Finals, Landon came into my
fifth period honors history class unannounced. My adorable and
impressionable freshmen fell silent as he ambled up the room to
speak to me. I understood the quiet. My breath caught just looking
at him in his dark blue jeans, tight grey thermal shirt, and heavy
black boots. His shirt was so tight the outline of his abdominal
muscles was visible. He ran his fingers through his cropped hair,
smirking at the class and then rested his big hand on his oversized
silver belt buckle. The sounds of teenage hearts crushing were
almost audible in the room.

“Ford needs your copy of record stats to send to the
qualifiers. Can I grab your thumbnail drive?” he spoke quietly,
trying not to disturb my class.

“It’s right here.” I handed him the flash drive from
my desk and saw Sadie with her hand raised. Sadie was funny and
bright, but she looked like she could still be in elementary school
with her petite stature, side blond ponytail, and make-up free
freckled face.

“Sadie?” Landon moved out of the way, so I could
answer her question.

“Ms. Harris, is that your husband or your boyfriend?”
Her classmates giggled and she turned pink with embarrassment. My
eyes widened and my eyebrows rose as I looked at her with feigned
annoyance.

“Class, this is Landon Washington. He is a senior at
YOUR school. You don’t know him?” The class continued to giggle as
many shook their heads. They didn’t recognize him. Or fear him. His
reputation no longer preceded him.

“Do you know what this means?” I whispered as Landon
looked almost embarrassed and gave me a confused half grin.

“That we are meant to be together?” he muttered, his
back to the class, ensuring privacy, as I laughed.

I shook my head, continuing to murmur softly. “No. It
means you no longer are known as the biggest jerk at Zionsville
Academy. Congrats!”

Landon laughed again as Sadie raised her hand.

“Sorry, Ms. Harris. You two so look like a couple.
Like totes. My bad.” Sadie giggled nervously as she got back to her
classwork.

“Okay! Everybody back to work. Goodbye, Mr.
Washington,” I said, shaking my head so that everyone knew I found
Sadie’s suggestion absurd. The class settled down as Landon walked
to the back door of the classroom. He stood in the doorway for a
moment, completely out of sight of the class, until he caught my
eye. His naughty wink made me blush, and I hurried back to my
lesson on prohibition and the roaring 20’s.

Once again, the irony of my situation did not escape
me. Landon was my alcohol—my addiction—and, yet, I couldn’t have
it. I couldn’t touch a drop. I finally understood the depths people
would go to in order to satisfy their greatest vice.

***

OUR LAST MEET of the season was the State
Finals. It was held at the local community college on a Saturday in
March and would last the entire day. The bleachers were packed with
friends and family members of the athletes. Our team was settled in
a corner, stretching and fueling up with protein bars and
oranges.

I knelt next to Landon and Dean. “Are your families
here?”

Dean pointed to a rowdy group who were all tall and
blond like himself. “They’re here. Every stinkin’ one of them. I’ll
never hear the end of it if I don’t place.” It was the first time I
had ever seen Dean insecure or vulnerable.

“You’ll do great, Dean.” I smiled reassuringly. “I
seem to remember you telling me that you love to hear people scream
your name.”

Landon and Dean threw their heads back with
laughter.

“Did I get that right? So, give them something to
scream about, okay?” Dean continued laughing and high-fived me.

“What about you, Landon? Any family here today?”

He shook his head, obviously disappointed. “Not
football, so doesn’t matter… not here.”

I nodded, wishing I could hug him, but knowing that
wasn’t going to happen, nor would it help.

“You guys are up next. Head over to the check in.” I
watched them jog off and checked on Billy. He was wearing the kind
of ear-muffs that landscapers wore to drown out noise. He shot me a
thumbs up and a big grin as he sat anxiously on the bleachers,
ready to write times for our records.

The horn sounded and the boys took off in the four
hundred meter dash. At the very end, Landon edged past Dean to take
first. I felt pretty sure that the anger of being at the meet alone
had propelled him to the finish line. Dean congratulated him, and
Dean’s family whistled and cheered. It was clear the Goldsmith’s
loved Landon and were happy for his success, even at the expense of
Dean’s—almost like they had two sons in the race.

Both headed over for water, and I prepared our pole
vaulters for their check in. My phone vibrated in my pocket, but I
ignored it. This was our final meet. Whoever needed me could
wait.

Not more than five minutes later, Tara flew through
the air after a perfect vault. My phone vibrated again. Now, I was
concerned. I didn’t have many friends and they would never call
repeatedly. I stepped into a corner to check my messages. There
were three missed calls from my mom. My stomach sank and I knew
something had happened. For a brief moment, I considered ignoring
the missed call. I didn’t want to hear what she was going to say to
me. But that wasn’t me—and my family needed me.

“Mom?”

She answered on the first ring, breathless. “Emma. Oh
my God. I’m so sorry. I know you have a track meet, but Emma…. It’s
Evie.”

“What?” My stomach rolled with nausea. “What
happened, Mom?”

Her voice broke as she began to sob. “There was a
fire.”

The vomit rose in my throat, and I clasped my hand to
my mouth to stop it. “Is… is she okay?” I whispered, not wanting to
hear anything but yes.

“I don’t know!” Mom wailed into the phone. “She
decided to cook on the stove without supervision. She’s in the
hospital. I’m here and no one will talk to me!” She began to scream
and I fell to my knees, reeling with the thought that my sweet,
gentle sister could be hurt, or worse. I looked up and met Landon’s
gaze. His eyes widened and he sprinted in my direction.

“I’m on my way.” I hit end and Landon’s strong hands
pulled me up.

“Em. What is it? What’s wrong?”

I stared at him for a moment, trying to speak. All I
could say was, “Evie.”

“Oh, God. Let’s go.” In one easy motion Landon lifted
me—carrying me really—and ran over to a bench near our team
bleachers. Grabbing his bag and mine, he spoke quietly to Dean and
pointed to where Ford was standing. I was close enough to hear, but
I was too distraught to care what they said. Dean nodded and Landon
was back at my side. He wrapped his arm around me and guided me to
the exit.

Luckily, because this final meet was so long, Ford
and I had driven separately and the team had all gotten rides with
family. If we had taken the bus, we would have been stranded. I
headed to my car, when Landon steered me toward his truck.

“No way. You can’t drive.” He opened the passenger
door and lifted me in, running over to his side. “Methodist
Hospital?”

I nodded, the tears streaming down my face. “Thank
you, Landon.” He looked over at me, his face anguished and yet full
of love.

“I would do anything for you. Let’s get to Evie.” He
gripped the steering wheel tightly as he sped out of the parking
lot.

“There was a fire in her kitchen. She’s hurt, but I
don’t know how badly.” I spoke quietly to him, unable to contain my
tears.

“Okay, let’s get there and get some answers.”

Landon was the kind of person you wanted around you
in a crisis. He was quiet and strong. He didn’t ask me lots of
questions or babble to fill the silence. He was just present.
Strength radiated off him. I felt protected just being near
him.

The hospital was the closest one to the community
college, but the ride seemed to take hours. Cars passed by us in a
blur, and I was vaguely aware that Landon was pushing the speed
limits to get us there as quickly as possible. All I could think
about was my Evie. I imagined her face when that fire started. She
must have been terrified. And we weren’t with her. She was alone.
This was what I feared all along. We shouldn’t have let her go.

Fifteen long minutes later, we quickly parked and ran
through the emergency room doors. I looked around frantically for
my mom, turning in circles. Landon spotted her first and guided me
to the corner where she sat with her face in her hands.

“Mom?” I whispered, fearing, again, that she would
tell me something I didn’t want to hear.

“Oh, Emma.” She jumped up and held me as we both
cried.

“What do you know?” Landon stood a few steps back,
listening but giving us our space.

“I know she wasn’t burned. The kitchen was badly
damaged but not destroyed. She’s being treated for smoke inhalation
and isn’t conscious…” She broke off at that point, weeping, and I
turned to Landon.

He knelt next to my mom and spoke quietly, “Do you
mind if I go and ask some questions at the desk?”

She agreed and then grabbed him and hugged him.

“Thank you, Landon. I know you care about both of my
girls. Thanks for being here.” It was strange, but none of us girls
had ever had a man present in an emergency before. Today we both
looked to Landon to do something… and he did.

Landon nodded to mom. “My Dad plays golf with a lot
of these doctors. I can see if any of his friends are on rotation
now.”

Landon walked to the nurse’s desk to ask questions. A
few minutes later, he returned. “Dr. Berringer will be right out.
He’s a family friend.”

No more than five minutes passed before an older
doctor with a full head of bright white hair walked over to us and
shook Landon’s hand. “Evie Harris’s family?”

Mom and I stood in acknowledgement. “I’m Dr.
Berringer. Evie is going to be fine.” Mom sank to her chair with a
cry of relief.

“How bad is she hurt?”

“She has just regained consciousness. Her diagnosis
right now is acute respiratory distress. We’re also watching her
for delayed pulmonary edema. From what we can gather, it was a
grease fire that got out of control. She threw water on it, which
made the smoke worse. We think she panicked and stayed at the
stove, trying to stop the fire. So, her lungs were damaged. We will
need to monitor her for twenty-four to forty-eight hours. She will
have serial chest radiographs to make sure she is healing, but she
should make a full recovery.”

“Thank God.” Landon placed his hands on my shoulders
and squeezed.

“Thank you so much, Dr. Berringer.” Mom shook his
hand. “Can we see her?”

“Right this way.” We followed him through a doorway
when he stopped. “Landon, only family is allowed back here.”

I froze, clinging to Landon’s arm, panicked at the
thought of not having him by my side.

Mom answered first, very clearly and very sternly.
“Landon is part of this family. Anyone who cares about my girls
like he does is family, and he goes where we go.”

Mom turned to follow the doctor and I observed
Landon, his eyes filled with tears. I stood on tiptoes to reach my
arms around his neck. “Thank you for this. We will never forget
it.”

Landon made a gruff sound as he hugged me quickly,
and we ran to catch up with my Mom. Evie was in a private room,
lying in her hospital bed with an oxygen mask on. She had IV’s in
both hands and was wearing a heart monitor. It sounded like
everything in the room made a noise and the effect from all the
wires and machines caused her to look like a tiny doll in a giant
bed. The expression on her face was one I had seen during many of
Indiana’s spring tornado warnings, and I knew she was petrified.
She had also woken up alone after her ordeal. She spotted our mom
and burst into tears.