Not Yet (24 page)

Landon nodded. “He’s had it bad. It started his
freshman year. Kids tripped him all the time, stole his lunch
money, and someone even threw his backpack in the toilet.”

Landon paused and looked at the floor. “I sat right
behind him in the cafeteria one day when a bunch of wrestlers
crawled under the table and tied his shoes together without him
knowing it. He got up to leave and fell right on his face.”

“He’s worn Velcro shoes every day since then.” Landon
grimaced as he finished, and I narrowed my eyes in fury.

“I watched it all go down and did nothing. Now, I
feel like a complete shithead for not stopping it.” Landon’s
remorse was apparent as he watched Billy in the corner, innocent of
any wrongdoing and naïve to the continued cruelty of his
classmates.

“It’s in the past. Next time, maybe you will step up.
Every person matters—you know that now, and maybe you didn’t
before.”

Landon stared intensely at me, almost as if he was
willing me to see inside him, until I broke away to start practice,
shaking from our encounter.

Ford and I split up hallways to monitor the kids as
they ran. Groups came by every few minutes. Landon ran with the
fastest group and stopped a few feet away to tie his shoe. He ran
in a white and blue Indianapolis Colts T-shirt and mesh shorts and
was drenched in sweat. He started to run again, but then he stopped
next to me.

“Missed you. Did you like our tree?” he whispered in
my ear and then pulled back to watch my expression.

I blushed and nodded. “Thank you. That was very
sweet. Hey, I’ve been wanting to tell you. I have news. Evie got a
job and was placed into a group home. She is so excited to finally
live on her own.”

“I’m so happy for her. How are you-?” He was cut off
by a yell from Ford.

“Washington. You better leave my girl alone. Now run,
boy.” Ford made his way to me, stalking down the hall like God’s
gift to women, to Zionsville Academy, and really to the universe
for that matter.

Landon appeared outraged, but he still took off
without a retort.

“Emma, when are we going out? You know I teach
chemistry, so I know all about catalytic interactions. And you and
I…” Ford actually air kissed at me, looking oddly reminiscent of a
low budget porn star, “we have chemistry.”

I took a huge breath and held it, smiling slightly as
I pinched my arm to keep myself from rolling my eyes, or telling
him off, or, most satisfyingly—kneeing him right in the nuts.

“I’m thrilled you agreed to coach with me. Now I can
see you every afternoon and at meets. But I want more.” He placed
his hand on my shoulder and I pulled away.

“I, uh, I’m seeing someone, Ford. Back in Virginia.”
I lied, knowing I couldn’t keep putting him off.

“Distance is tough, sweetie. But that’s ok…I can help
when you’re feeling lonely.” I pressed back against the locker and
my internal panic alarms began to sound.

Just then, Dean and Landon came running by. “Get a
room!” Dean called as Landon looked at me with hurt in his eyes and
at Ford with piercing daggers.

I pushed Ford back roughly and walked down the
hallway. Dealing with Ford and Landon in a confined space was going
to be just freaking super.

Our first track meet of the season was at a local
armory on a Friday night. Ford and I rode the school bus with our
team. The kids were pumped and so were we, which surprised me.
Other than my infatuation with swimming, I had never viewed myself
as much of an athlete, but coaching this team had really opened my
eyes to the elements of sports that were so enthralling.

The students had trained hard, and I was excited to
see them run on a real track, as opposed to looping around floor
after floor of our cinder blocked hallways. Many members of the
team were either sprinting or running in relays, staying in great
shape for whatever their next sport was. Our spring track athletes
were thrilled to pole vault and jump hurdles again, both impossible
to practice in our school hallways. But it was crucial for them to
have this opportunity so they could keep conditioned for the
intense upcoming outdoor season. Even the discus throwers had an
opportunity to compete in this large area.

The arena was packed with students from opposing
schools. I sat with our team on bleachers, keeping the schedule and
letting each runner know when they needed to enter their designated
area. Landon and Dean ran the first two events, the two hundred and
four hundred meter dash. They dominated their heats and easily
moved onto the finals.

Both boys were anxiously awaiting news on football
scholarships from colleges. Excitement from the seniors would only
grow as spring approached. I clearly remembered the elation when I
got into UVA—my dream school. I walked around grinning from ear to
ear for days. I think it was the first smile some of my classmates
had ever seen from me. Even now, several years older, I would start
checking the mail daily in a few weeks, waiting to see if I’d been
accepted to graduate school.

I hopped off the bleachers to check on the students
competing in the hurdles when I saw Ford talking to Billy.

“Seriously, Billy. If you want to manage this team,
you have to work on speaking. I don’t know what you mean when you
point at charts. Christ!” Ford rubbed his face and stomped
away.

“Is the noise in this arena bothering you?” Kneeling
next to Billy, I spoke quietly. The bull horns and whistles were
loud even for my ears, and I was sure that was an issue for Billy.
Billy looked down and nodded.

“If you want to come to the next meet, maybe you can
wear headphones? That would help. Or you can manage the team
without attending all the meets. I’ll record stats for you, if
that’s what you prefer.”

Billy smiled, still staring at the floor, as I left
him. I spotted Ford talking animatedly with a group of junior
girls, and I made a bee-line toward him, pulling him aside like he
was a child.

“Ford—what’s up with talking to Billy like that? He
has some issues, you know that, but he’s a good guy and he’s a part
of this team!”

Ford laughed and looked away. “He’s a retard, Emma.
Get over it. He doesn’t even remember what I said.”

I slapped my hand across my mouth and took a step
back. Angry tears filled my eyes, and I took a minute to gather my
words before I ripped this asshole apart. From the corner of my
blurred eyes, I saw Landon watching the whole interaction, moving
closer to us in case he needed to intervene.

“Listen to me, Ford. If you want my help this season,
if you don’t want me to report you for inappropriate flirting or
derogatory comments, if you want any chance at continuing this
macho-bullshit life you live, you will never say that word again.
You will respect Billy and never talk like that to him or about him
again, or I will turn your ignorant ass in.” I stared at him with
disgust, as he rolled his eyes and walked away.

Landon walked over and stood behind me as we watched
the relays. “What did Ford do now?”

“He’s such a jerk. He was rude to Billy and called
him a retard. I handled it.” Landon looked over his shoulder to see
Ford sitting alone on the bleachers and began to laugh dryly.

“You scared him. Check it out. Emma, the enforcer… I
love it.” He bumped his shoulder into mine and I laughed.

“You run again soon. Are you hydrated and have you
eaten something?” I checked in with all the runners frequently,
making sure they were fueling their bodies with healthy food and
plenty of water.

“Yeah, I ate a bagel… I’m craving Mexican, though.”
Landon whispered the last sentence and looked at me with heated
eyes. My breath increased and I broke free from his gaze.

My heart was beating so loudly, the sound filled my
ears. My face flushed hotly as I whispered to him, “What are you
doing? You promised.” I looked around to make sure no one was
listening.

Landon watched the sprinters in front of us streak
down their lanes. “I did, I know, but sometimes the craving is so
strong, I don’t know how to keep it in check. It’s becoming
dangerous to my health.”

I was livid. He told me he would respect my boundary
lines, and while he wasn’t touching me, his words seduced me. “I’m
pretty sure the cafeteria’s serving mystery burritos tomorrow for
lunch. That should eliminate any cravings you have left.” I
muttered sarcastically and patted his shoulder, demonstrating as
much platonic sympathy as I could muster at that moment.

Landon must have decided to ease up on me as he
walked away backwards, laughing and yelling out, “Not even close,
Ms. Harris. That won’t even begin to help me.”

I shook my head in exasperation. Turning back, Ford
was watching me and Landon with narrowed eyes. Great. I had just
drawn battle lines and now he was suspicious about me. I had to be
extra careful around a loser like Ford. A horn blew and Landon ran
off to his final race as I joined Ford on the bleachers. He was the
coach of this team and I was his assistant. We were going to have
to make this work for the next few months.

But if Ford was going to continue acting like an
asshole to students like Billy
,
I was going to call him on
it whether or not it pissed him off. I could handle a whole lot
from the men in my life, but I drew the line at insulting the
people who really mattered.

Winter in the Midwest dragged on interminably. Each
day seemed grayer than the one before. It seemed as though I never
saw sunlight, entering the school building before the sun rose and
leaving well into the evening after practice. There was always
either snow, freezing rain, or ice coating every surface outside.
The air temperature was so frigid it froze even the inside of my
nose whenever I stepped outside. Most days I taught classes wearing
an extra heavy Irish cable knit sweater. I couldn’t lose the chill,
and the sun depravation made me feel weary and blue.

The only thing I could think of to help fight off the
seasonal depression was to kick my own ass in the gym. I worked out
as hard as I could every morning, often running into Landon and his
friends by the gym in the mornings after my workouts. If I wasn’t
mistaken, they seemed to time it quite perfectly.

“Hey, Ms. Harris…. What is the
opportunity
cost
of you working out so hard every morning?”

I looked up, hearing Dean’s question, to see him,
Jon, Ricky, and, of course, Landon in the doorway of the girls’
gym. I had taught a lesson on opportunity cost the day before in
class. I gave my students an example of going to a Colts game. The
opportunity cost was what one gave up in order to attend the game.
For me, that would mean giving up a heck of a lot of money to buy
the tickets, and missing out on a rerun of my favorite high school
classic movie,
Mean Girls
.

The class got the point, and I was sure Dean was
really enjoying teasing me about my recent lesson. Especially while
I wore spandex and sweated profusely. Each of the guys struck me as
happy and relaxed, except for Landon. His eyes were smoldering as
he watched me run.

I laughed, slowing my pace, and answered in a pant.
“Nice, Dean. Glad to see you’re applying our economic concepts to
life situations. Let’s see, the opportunity cost of my workouts are
less sleep and less time to relax. Never worry, though, working out
will not keep me from assigning you extra homework. There is way
too great an
incentive
for me to see you suffer. Oh and
FYI—there’s never a
scarcity
of detention slips to give you,
either.”

“Ooooh burn, man!” Ricky exclaimed as the guys
laughed freely at my use of the economic concepts they recently
learned. Ricky slapped Dean on the back loudly, and the guys left
to start their morning workout in the free weight room. “See you
later, Ms. Harris!”