Not Yet (10 page)

With Landon, I was an active participant. I was
encouraging this along. I wanted him to feel as wrecked as I did.
Hearing him growl sent me propelling to the next level.

“You are so fucking sexy, Emma.” His voice sounded
almost feral to my naïve ears. His words alone could destroy me
like nothing I had felt before. I laid my head back against the
sofa as he rubbed my nipples between his fingers and then took them
in his mouth and sucked.

“Landon!” I gasped as he sucked and rubbed. He laid
me back on the sofa and settled between my legs, as I pulsed and
yearned for his next touch.

He stroked my face, reverently. “You are so gorgeous.
So, so, stunningly gorgeous.” He whispered his words in my ear as
his hand drifted down and under my dress. He searched my eyes,
silently asking permission. I knew what he wanted, and he looked
like he was struggling not to rip my dress off. I bit my lip,
holding my breath, and nodded.

He touched me carefully and with restraint. I exhaled
slowly and my body relaxed under his touch. Any inhibitions I had
were quickly gone. He was navigating me with ease and I was all
his. His skilled fingers caressed me gently as he explored my
warmth. He studied my face the entire time, noticing what brought
me the most pleasure. The intensity inside me built as I gripped
the edge of the sofa, and thrust my hips into his hand.

“Oh God, yes…. Landon yes… oh God!” I came loudly,
never breaking eye contact with him. His eyes burned as he watched
me come undone. His lips parted and his breath increased until he
was panting along with me. Every one of my senses was heightened in
that moment. All I smelled was Landon’s woodsy scent. All I saw was
the desire in his eyes. Running my tongue over my lips, I tasted
his mouth on me. It was incredibly intimate. I had never felt so
connected to a man before.

“That was so damn beautiful to watch.” He kissed me
again and laid me back on the couch as I caught my breath and tried
to regain a sense of equilibrium. What the hell had just happened
to me? Were orgasms supposed to be like that? If so, I had been
missing out. What I previously thought was an orgasm was basically
a sexual tickle compared to the avalanche of power that his FINGERS
brought me. This was nothing to be taken lightly. It was something
that must be repeated. Repeatedly.

I smiled devilishly as I crawled over and unbuttoned
his jeans. He watched as I freed him and began stroking his velvety
skin with increasing pressure. I tore my gaze from his eyes and
took in how beautiful and huge he was.
Fuck me
.
Literally.

“Shit, Emma. Yeah…. Just like that. Son of a….”
Landon spoke quietly, his breath rapid. Hands fisted at his sides,
his attempt at maintaining control was unmistakable. I tightened my
grip and his eyes flared. I watched the pleasure on his face as I
increased the speed with which I touched him and his mouth hung
open.

“Move, Em.” Landon tried to remove my hand from him,
but I shook my head and watched him. It was so powerful, seeing him
falling apart from my touch. A gasp escaped me as he grunted and
then exploded in my hands. My body pulsed all over again. I was
ready for him to touch me again. Jesus, I was ready for him to be
inside me. But that wasn’t happening. That would be way too soon.
Lord have mercy, I had never felt, seen, or experienced anything
like this guy before.

After gently wiping my hand with a tissue, he pulled
me back onto his lap and kissed me feverishly, his one hand fisted
in my hair and his other holding me tight. I sucked on his tongue,
and he groaned, making me want him more than ever. From my perch on
his lap, I could feel he wanted more as well. It took all of my
self-control to not turn and straddle him, riding against him to
help erase the ever present throbbing. Landon watched my reaction
to his body, while rubbing his thumb back and forth over my lower
lip.

Looking up at the clock, I pulled back with a sigh.
“We gotta go.”

His heavy lidded eyes were so lustful I squeezed my
legs together. “Landon. Stop looking at me like that. I’m getting
all worked up again.”

I stood and walked to the door, arranging my dress
and smoothing my hair. He walked over to me and ran his hand down
the bodice of my dress, tracing the edges of my breasts before
cupping them in his hands. “Good. I want you to want me all the
damn time. I’ve never been so on fire before, Emma. I want to taste
you, feel you, and hold you.
Jesus
. It’s all I can think
about.” Landon pulled me to him and moved his thigh in between my
legs. Oh God. He was teasing me and it felt so good. I closed my
eyes for a minute and attempted to regain my composure.

“This is enough for tonight, Land. We can’t move any
faster than we already have.” No matter what, Landon would leave at
the end of the summer and head back to Bloomington for college. I
would be here alone, hopefully teaching, and helping my family put
food on the table. The feelings, both physical and emotional, that
Landon was stirring up in me were temporary. I knew that was my
reality. For that reason alone, this had to move more slowly or I
would fall too fast, too deep.

Landon nodded, very begrudgingly, and we left to go
pick up the lovebirds from their dance.

Apply the damn brakes, short stuff.

***

“NO, I GOT it…. I said I got it, Mom. Yup, I’ll
keep on my workout schedule. I can take care of myself just fine.”
Landon’s back was pressed against the side wall of our guard house.
Crap.
I’d interrupted a private conversation.

His eyes were closed as he spoke, but his tension
showed in his hands. One grasped his phone tightly and one was
balled in a fist at his side. He was off duty and had changed into
shorts and a T-shirt. Both of our shifts were finished for the day,
and I was hoping to catch him and say goodbye. Now I wondered if I
should sneak away before he saw me.

“Ok. Have fun…. Bye.” Landon opened his eyes as he
ended the call and waved me over to him.

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop on you. I
just wanted to say goodnight.”

Looking around to make sure we were hidden from
public view, he pulled me against him and I wrapped my arms around
his waist. His heart beat furiously next to my ear. “You’re never
an interruption, short stuff. That was just my mom calling to say
goodbye… and to make sure I understood that I was not invited to
join them on vacation.” Landon picked up both of our bags, and we
walked toward the employee parking lot as the sun set over the golf
course. As soon as we were out of public eyesight, he grasped my
hand tightly in his.

“Excuse me? Why are you not invited?” I looked up and
saw that his jaw was clenched, but his face was otherwise
impassive.

“I told you about my parents before. They aren’t
really into the whole ‘family’ thing. They make sure the fridge is
stocked with food, and that I have a clean bed and clothes, but
they have no interest in spending time with me.”

We reached Landon’s truck and my car. We each threw
our bags inside and then Landon rested against his passenger door,
moving me in between his outstretched legs.

“So, they are leaving you at home and going on
vacation? Seriously?”

Landon chuckled lightly. “Happens all the time, short
stuff. I learned to cook basic meals for myself by the time I was
eight. They are out almost every night and even when they are home,
we don’t eat together. I’d spend the night with my buddy Dean
growing up, and I’d nearly fall over on Saturday morning when we’d
go downstairs to see his parents making a big pancake breakfast for
their kids. As soon as I moved out of a crib, my parents told me to
go downstairs in the morning, watch TV, and stay quiet. It’s just
how it is.”

“Wow.” I reached up and moved his baseball cap higher
onto his head so I could fully look into his eyes. “That must be
tough. My mom has always had to do everything on her own, but she’s
always, always been there for us. How long are they gone?”

“Two weeks. They’re on a Caribbean cruise. It’ll be
great. Two weeks of my favorite TV dinners and really bad sci-fi
movies. Every guy’s dream.” Landon kissed me lightly on the lips as
he rubbed his hands up and down my arms.

I couldn’t believe he would be on his own for two
weeks. He had to feel so unwanted and lonely. How could his parents
treat him this way? Mom, Evie, and I had always called ourselves a
tribe. No matter how big or how small a family might’ve been, they
were your tribe. You’d stick together—no matter what. You’d
sacrifice—whatever you had to. Had Landon ever experienced anything
like that?

I couldn’t hang out with him at his home since I had
to watch Evie, but I could offer him some home cooking and company.
“No way. A college athlete cannot exist off of microwavable meals
for two weeks. You’re coming home with me. Every night you feel
like it, you’re welcome. You know I make a badass spaghetti with
meat sauce, but you haven’t lived until you’ve tried my
enchiladas!”

Landon laughed loudly. “Thank you, but you don’t need
to take care of me. I’ve been on my own for a long time now.
Really. I’m fine.”

“Please, I’m not doing it because I think you can’t
take care of yourself. I know Evie would love to see you again. And
it’s always just me and her every night. It would be great to have
you there. You live in Zionsville, so it’s only a twenty minute
drive home.” I leaned up on my tiptoes and kissed his earlobe. His
arms tightened around me as I whispered into his ear, “I cook and
you do the dishes, big guy. And then, afterwards is dessert. And by
dessert, I mean tasting
you
on my couch. C’mon, how’re you
gonna say no to that offer?”

Landon pulled me away from him with a look of wry
amusement. “You are an evil little woman. First off, you somehow
discovered my soft spot for Mexican food. Secondly, you are taking
advantage of my superior dish cleaning techniques. And finally, I
think this is all just so you can use me for my body.”

I nodded my head and winked. “You’re a smarty, that’s
for sure. You’ve got me all figured out. C’mon.” Landon followed me
home for dinner, and I made sure he did the same each night after.
Not only did I feel like I was helping him in a small way, but I
genuinely enjoyed his company. Especially on the couch. For hours.
I’d cook nothing but Mexican food for the rest of my damn life if I
continued to get rewarded like that.
Dios Mio
.

I had never experienced a summer romance, or really
any kind of romance at all, so I had no idea how wonderful it could
be. Landon was total eye candy and I got to stare at him in nothing
but swim trunks all day, every day.

The bright beating sunshine each afternoon deepened
his brown tan. I bit my bottom lip in anticipation whenever his
swimsuit would hang off his hip, revealing the pale soft skin,
shielded from the sunlight. Knowing that fair surface, hidden from
the public’s eyes, would be touched by my hands that night….