Not Yet (35 page)

Landon looked up, startled and then delighted, as I
introduced myself to his parents as his Economics teacher. “I
wanted to take a moment to tell you what an amazing student and
person your son is. Of course, I know you already know this, but
his kindness to students at our school was both impressive and
humbling.” I smiled warmly at both of his, still scowling,
parents.

Mr. Washington or John, as he gruffly informed me,
was a large, tall man with a thick head of brown hair and a large
pot belly. He was wearing khakis and a polo shirt with a sports
team insignia embroidered on the pocket. His expensive shoes and
thick cologne were meant to impress, but his expression was
completely void of emotion. He voice was so cold I felt goose bumps
rise on my arms.

Mrs. Shelly Washington was a petite platinum blond
with harsh features. She had high cheekbones and a sharp nose, most
likely surgically adjusted. Her lips were pressed together, showing
her displeasure. She wore a trim green sundress with black stiletto
heels and continually looked down at her iPhone. She made sure we
all knew that this was not where she wanted to be. They were quite
a pair.

John rolled his eyes as I finished. “I’m glad you’re
impressed with our son’s character, Ms. Harris. My wife and I don’t
share your opinion. We feel Landon has made a series of
life-altering bad decisions. We hope to God he learns from his
mistakes and turns his life around.”

Landon’s expression was distraught and my inner bitch
reared her ugly head.
Bitter
proved herself useful in these
kinds of conversations.

“Well, it’s clear to me that you don’t really know
your son at all, then. I heard about the loss of his football
scholarship, but there is a heck of a lot more to Landon than
football. Your son is smart, kind, strong, and protective, and if
you don’t have the ability to see those qualities in him, you have
experienced a loss greater than I can express.”

Shelly covered her open mouth with her hand as John’s
face was screwed in anger.

“I would say it’s been a pleasure meeting both of
you, but that would be a lie. I hope to God Landon stays just as he
is and nothing like you hope him to be.” I turned and stomped away,
hearing Landon chuckle as his parents gasped behind me.

I walked away, head held high, feeling strong and
proud of my inner bitch self, for possibly the first time in my
life. Landon jogged up behind me and touched my elbow gently. I
turned around to see the amusement glimmer in his eyes.

“You just made my day. First that dress.
Damn
.
Then the verbal bitch slap to my parents. You’re amazing. Thank
you.” Landon murmured close to my ear, and I nervously looked
around to see if we were being watched.

Luckily, everyone was wrapped up in the festivities,
and we were safe to speak privately. “Land—I need to tell you
goodbye now. I’m leaving right after the ceremony.”

The flash of pain across Landon’s face was
unmistakable. I stealthily grabbed his unbroken hand and squeezed
it. This was it. The time for hiding my feelings was over. I’d been
hurt this year, but I’d also been loved. I had one last choice. I
could keep living my life like I had before meeting Landon—alone,
angry and untrusting, or I could choose to live with love in my
heart. Where Landon was concerned, there really had never been a
choice.

It was always love.

“One more thing, and then I’m turning back around and
walking to my seat. I need to say one thing to you before I go.
Just listen, please. Don’t say anything. Okay?”

Landon nodded and bent his knees slightly so I could
look right at him. I took a deep breath before continuing. “Thank
you. Thank you for teaching me time and time again how wrong I was.
When I met you, I hated men because of my dad. I was an angry,
bitter girl. When you lied to me, I figured it was just typical
male behavior. But this year you have proven over and over again
how good you are. How strong you are. How brave you are. You proved
me wrong, and I have never been happier to be wrong.”

I took another deep breath before I could go on. I
had to find the right words for the hardest goodbye of all. “I need
to say this to you right now. I love you, Landon. I’ve loved you
for a long time. I never knew what it felt like to really love a
man, and nothing could be better than my first love being with
you.” I stared at him for a long moment.

Landon’s eyes were wide and full of emotion, but he
heeded my request and let me walk away. I didn’t want or need him
to say anything. I needed to drive to California, knowing I had
faced my ultimate fear and shared my true heart with Landon,
expecting nothing in return. I also needed him to know he was loved
by someone.

Taking more deep breaths to hopefully ease the
tremors running through my body, I spotted Amy and her parents.
They eagerly waved me over, and as soon as I saw Amy I knew. Her
smile was blinding. She waved her paper in the air with a
cheer.

“I got axcepted. I’m goin’ to Clemson!” We hugged and
laughed and cheered and cried. I was certain that no acceptance
letter I would ever read in my life was as precious.

Amy was going to college.

We spent the next minutes taking pictures and sharing
hugs and well wishes. But in addition to my pride over her college
acceptance, I also needed Amy to know how special and important she
was to me this year on a personal level. She was my dear friend. We
would always stay close.

Before she headed to her seat, I took her hands in
mine. “Amy, I know I’m the teacher here, but you taught me so much
this year.” Amy grinned as she listened to me carefully. “You
taught me to have self-confidence. Watching you dance so freely in
your beautiful dresses at all the dances this year was such fun. I
promise you I will wear more bright dresses and dance any chance I
get.”

“You also taught me about loyalty. You were a true
friend to me when I needed it the most. You ate lunch with me in my
classroom because no one else wanted to be around me. You never
gave up on me. Thank you.”

Amy had big, fat tears rolling down her cheeks as she
hugged me.

She shook her head, too overwhelmed to speak. But she
took a huge breath and was able to speak quietly to me. “You never
treated me different. You taught me to be indpendent. And now,
because of you, I’m goin’ to college. Just like you did.” She wiped
her tears, and we hugged once more before her mom walked her to her
chair, and I felt ready, finally, to move on. I had said all of my
goodbyes. It was time.

I watched the ceremony from the back of the field.
There were speeches from Principal Mahoney and the class
valedictorian. Several songs were sung by the chorus and then the
seniors were marched across the field to the hoots, hollers,
whistles, horn blows, and my personal favorite—cow bells—from their
family and friends.

I cheered loudly as Dean and then Amy marched across
the stage. It was almost the end of the ceremony before Landon’s
name was called. I cheered as loud as I could, noticing the
Goldsmith clan cheering too, along with Amy’s family. Landon’s
parents clapped sedately. I waved as Landon exited the stage and he
smiled broadly. We had succeeded in finishing strong. No matter
what happened from here, we would take that with us.

Walking to my car, happy families were clustered
around me, talking about graduation parties, presents, and
vacations. I never had any of that. Mom did her best, but until the
past few months, we had barely made it. I knew that, because of
meeting me, Landon wouldn’t have any of those things either. He
certainly would have before, but now he was effectively kicked out
of his home. I should have felt guilty, but I was too proud of the
man he’d become. What he’d gone through had made him more
incredible than he already was.

At home, I changed into shorts and a tank top before
I finished packing my suitcases and boxes. I didn’t have much to
bring. I was renting a furnished one bedroom apartment. I had been
able to secure a job at a private pool for the summer. This time I
was looking forward to guarding and teaching lessons. If anything,
this past summer showed me that even when I thought life would
suck, really special people could change things around.

I began to lug my suitcases down to my car. Popping
open the trunk, I heaved the heaviest one in first.

“Hey, short stuff. You really think that old Accord
is gonna make it to Cali?” I froze. It was my nickname. I hadn’t
heard him call me that since last summer—since before I knew he
lied to me. Those two words signified so much. Our relationship was
no longer teacher/student. The weight on my shoulders lifted, and I
smiled before turning around.

He wore flip flops, cargo shorts and a faded green
t-shirt. His favorite black baseball cap was on backwards, so I
could fully appreciate the sparkle in his brown eyes.
“Congratulations on your graduation.” I gave him a hug and he held
me tightly against him. I couldn’t contain my sigh. He smelled like
summer and woods. He was my Landon.

“Thank you for everything you said to me. That was
the best graduation present I could ever get.” He pulled away and
studied my face, so close I could feel his warm breath.

“I needed to be honest with you. Hell, I needed to be
honest with myself for once. And I’m so glad you came to say
goodbye, but I’ve got to get started driving, so I get a few hours
in before it gets too dark.” I pulled back and turned to shove my
suitcase further into the trunk. It was too hard having him here. I
just needed to go.

“You can’t drive that thing to Cali, Em. It’s a three
day drive. It won’t make it.” He reached into the trunk and pulled
out my suitcase.

“Stop it.” I swatted his hand away. “I’ll be
fine.”

He grinned at me mischievously and threw my case into
the back of his truck.

“We’re taking my truck.” He popped the tailgate open
and bags and boxes filled the bed. He grabbed another of my bags
and threw it in. “More upstairs?”

I grabbed his forearm. “What are you doing,
Land?”

“Well, first I’m driving us on our road trip to Cali.
The Accord has seen her last days, and the truck will be much more
comfortable and can hold all our shit. Second, I’m attending USC
undergraduate college. And third, I’m going to hold onto you for
the rest of my fucking life.” He winked and started up the stairs
to my apartment.

My feet stayed glued to the sidewalk, and my mouth
hung open for a full minute before I turned and ran up the
stairs.

“Landon, what are you talking about…? USC? Are you
for real?” I looked up at him with confusion.

“You know, Coach Stone wasn’t riding my ass ’cause he
hated me all these years. He wanted to help me. And he did—he
called in some favors. Turns out the football coach at USC likes
guys who beat up bullies. He has a sister with some disabilities
and told me he would have done the same thing if he saw someone
picking on Billy like that. I don’t have a place on the team or a
scholarship, but he gave me some pointers to get the loans worked
out, and I’ve got a chance to show the coaches what I can do for
them at walk-on tryouts. The head coach liked the footage Tommy
sent enough that he got my applications approved fast.” Landon
looked down at me with elation.

“Oh my God! We’re both going to USC?” I was still so
confused, but the possibility of being with Landon was making me
giddy.

“Wait. Landon, is this a good idea? I don’t want you
doing this for me. I don’t want you to sacrifice what you want for
me.” I panicked at the thought that he would one day resent me for
any choices he made.

“Emma, I’m doing this for me. I lost out on IU, and I
know now that’s because it wasn’t meant to be. I’ve waited all year
to love you, and now we can be free to have a real relationship. I
love you, Emma Harris. Let’s do this.” He stroked my face and I
curled my head into his hand.

“Let’s do this.” I sighed, wanting nothing more in
the world than Landon and his touch.

“Think I could crash with you for a while, Ms.
Harris? I mean, since I’m following you across the county and all…”
Landon winked at me and I pressed against him as he groaned.

“That depends, Mr. Washington. You’d better be a real
hands-on roommate.” I jumped into his arms and wrapped my legs
around his waist.

He held my face gently with both hands, one still
wrapped from his break, and we hesitated, each knowing how long we
had waited to share a kiss again. Landon leaned in slowly and
softly kissed my upper lip and then my lower lip as I sighed and
opened my mouth to him. Our lips joined, and I whimpered with
pleasure when our tongues began to stroke and taste each other.

I became almost frantic with the emotion of the
moment and the pleasure of the kiss. I pressed my body and lips
against him, breathing deeply through my nose so that I didn’t have
to stop the kiss for air. He must have picked up on my intensity,
as he pressed back just as hard, crushing his mouth against mine. I
could feel his chest heaving against me as we attempted to
demonstrate to one another how hard the past months had been and
how much our bodies missed their connection.

Our tongues tangled together and my body pulsed as I
kneaded my hands over his arms and back. I couldn’t stop touching
him. The blood roared in my ears, and my core tightened as Landon
broke away and began pressing kisses to my neck and shoulders.

Landon pulled away with a groan. “We gotta go, Em. I
can’t drive if I am too worked up. Let’s save it for the hotel room
tonight…”

I protested loudly, making him chuckle as I slid down
his body. Lightly touching my swollen lips, I grinned saucily.
“More waiting, Land? It better be worth it.” I raised my eyebrows
teasingly and winked, as he pulled me back against him.