Not Yet (38 page)

“HEY, SHORT STUFF? Are you here?” Landon called
from the living room and I almost squealed with excitement. Our
first Christmas together was about to start. I couldn’t wait to
share this holiday with him.

Last month we flew back home to Indiana for
Thanksgiving, although Landon’s parents still wouldn’t see him. I
thought when he made USC’s football team they would change their
tune. I guess their pride was too strong to apologize or make
amends. I started working on Landon to approach them because I
didn’t want him to live his life without his parents. I knew
first-hand how heavy that absence could feel.

We ended up eating our first Thanksgiving dinner
together at my mom’s apartment with Evie, Garrett, and Ernie
Mahoney. It was a bit uncomfortable at first—especially when Ernie
realized we really had been in love with each other all year. But
we sat down with him and opened up about the entire saga. He
believed that we had never acted on our feelings until we were no
longer teacher/student and he was glad for us.

Ernie was also head over heels in love with my mom,
and I had never seen her so joyous. All three of us girls were in
love with giving, devoted men. It took a while for us to get there,
but we all had the happiness we wanted—and deserved.

Landon and I had visited Amy, Trevor, and Dean over
the break and each were thrilled we were together and in love. Amy
was thriving at Clemson and I couldn’t have been more proud.

We also spent time with Sam, Tommy, and Lily Stone.
They were coming to visit us over spring break, so we solidified
plans and caught up on school and football. Tommy wasn’t just a big
brother to me during my last few months of teaching, he was one to
Landon as well. Tommy invested much of his own time and energy into
helping Landon get into USC. He truly cared about and wanted the
best for my guy. When Landon’s own dad couldn’t forgive him, Tommy
stuck his neck out for Landon, helping and protecting him when he
needed it the most. And we both loved him for it.

Now at Christmas, Mom and Evie were flying out to see
us. They were spending Christmas Eve with Ernie’s extended family
and then would arrive in L.A. in the afternoon on Christmas Day.
Evie was beside herself with excitement over her first airplane
ride. Landon and I were planning a huge welcome dinner for them at
our tiny apartment and then a guided tour of the University Park
campus the next day. The weather forecasted sunny skies with a high
temperature of sixty nine degrees. What was not to feel merry
about? God, I loved California.

When Landon made the football team, the coaches
expected him to live in football housing on campus. He wasn’t happy
about this, wanting to stay with me full time in my small
efficiency apartment, but it did alleviate some of my concerns
about Landon enjoying something of a “normal” college experience.
We spent some time together every night, and he stayed with me
every weekend in our home.

Our tiny one bedroom apartment was the place where my
dreams became reality. I was studying for my dream career, living
in a city I had dreamed about my entire life, and loving the man of
my dreams—a football player—never could’ve predicted that one—at
freaking USC! I pinched myself daily.

“I’m in bed, babe!” I called loudly as Landon made
his way to our favorite room.

“Right where you should be, darlin’.” Landon leaned
over the bed to kiss me and saw that I was reading my Kindle.
“Whatcha reading now?” He pinched my nose, loving to tease me about
my love affair with books.

“Re-reading one of my favorites about my very first
book boyfriend, Beau. Swoon.” I made a dreamy face as he tickled
me, but I knew that Landon was the first real-life boy that lived
up to the standards of my fictional loves. He did do the right
thing and he did fight for me and he never did give up. Actually,
he was better than those book boys, because I got to feel his
hands, his tongue, oh, his tongue… Every. Single. Day.

Landon peeled off his shirt, lying next to me, as I
curled up against him. “Merry Christmas, my love. Our first.”

The small, decorated tree Landon had given me a year
ago was placed on a table at the foot of our bed. He gazed at me
and smiled, knowing we were both remembering his note—and his
promise—that this Christmas we would see our tree, in bed,
together.

“Merry Christmas, Em. It’s already the best one of my
life.” He leaned down and kissed me, gently at first, and then
fiercely. I tossed my beloved Kindle on the floor and crawled on
top of him.

“Can I get one present early? Pretty please?” I
covered his face in light kisses as he laughed softly.

“You want one present tonight?” His eyes narrowed
with humored suspicion, as I nodded gleefully.

“But I get to choose which one,” I added.

He smirked again, knowing where this was heading.

“All right, which gift would you like tonight, short
stuff?” Hearing his voice, raspy with restrained need, made my
heart race. I rubbed my body against his while we teased each other
with light kisses.

Leaning right by his ear, I ran my tongue along the
outer rim, loving the sounds that escaped his parted mouth. “I want
you, inside me, right now.”

Landon pressed his lips against mine and rolled on
top of me. “Baby, that isn’t a present. You can have that any time
you want.” He grinded against me and I closed my eyes in bliss. He
lifted off my nightgown, cursing with delight when he realized I
was completely naked underneath.

“Oh, it’s a gift, Land. You’re the best gift I’ve
ever been given.” I kissed him, lips pressed hard and tongue
tangling with his. I pulled his shorts and boxers off in one
motion—I had become quite a pro at that—and he pressed hard against
me. We looked at each other for a long minute, before Landon thrust
inside me in one swift movement, causing both of us to gasp in
pleasure.

“My one.” His two words told me all I needed to know
in the world. I belonged to this man and would never stop being
grateful for it.

“And you’re mine.” My whispered response turned into
a loud moan, and Landon pushed deeper, filling me completely.
Joined in every way.

I clung to his arms as Landon brought his mouth to
mine, and then slowly pulled out of me and pushed back in until I
was begging him to move. We groaned into one another’s mouths as
Landon picked up the pace, whispering “I love you” until the
pleasure escalated and I knew I was about to explode around him. I
held onto his back, wrapping my arms and legs around him, as the
stars exploded before my eyes and my orgasm ripped through me.
Landon’s body went rigid before he called out my name, a litany,
and I knew we would spend the rest of our holiday night in one
another’s arms.

***

IT’D BEEN ALMOST five years to the day, since my
high school graduation. I was now a graduate of USC with my
master’s degree in special education. I was determined to go right
into the classroom and start working with the kids I loved so much,
so I completed a program of five continual years of combined
undergrad and masters classes.

I knew, as soon as I thought about my major and my
future, that I wanted to teach kids with disabilities. I spent my
summers in L.A., lifeguarding at a camp for kids with various
intellectual and physical disabilities. Emma ran the camp and I
worked with her the whole time. I found my calling. So many of
these kids, like Evie, didn’t have a male figure in their lives, so
they physically clung to me with love and devotion. I had never
known anything like it from my family growing up. Since I met Emma,
it seemed like I was surrounded by constant love and devotion.

I also found out I was pretty damn good at it. Based
on my exercise of extreme patience during my senior year of high
school, a skill very much needed when working with children with
disabilities, I knew I had the temperament to work with these kids.
The competitor in me also loved the challenge. When I broke through
with Trevor, it was like a shot went through me. It was my
epiphany. I had figured out how to work with him. It was infectious
and it was the ultimate test to my competitive spirit. I couldn’t
wait to start teaching.

Emma and I decided to move back to Indiana. Her mom
and
Ernie
, that still sounded weird, were now married. We
wanted to be closer to them when we finally started a family. Evie
and Garrett moved into an apartment together over four years ago.
Evie was starting to slip more and more, a constant reminder of her
Alzheimer’s, but they had great support staff living with them, and
we wanted her to enjoy these years with Garrett while she could. We
also wanted to be close to her and enjoy this time, together, as a
family.

I promised Emma I would make an effort to reconnect
with my parents. They finally attended a few football games at USC
in my senior year, but they never apologized or even tried to get
to know Emma. I wanted some kind of a relationship with them, but
they continued to let me down.