My Guardian Angel (16 page)

The Incident

My head was pounding as I began to wake up.
“Kass?” I heard my brother’s voice.

“Stop yelling
,” I said meekly. I opened my eyes, but I wasn’t home.

“Where the hell am I?” I asked in a panic.
I was on a gurney and wearing a hospital gown.

“Do you remember anything about last night?” Darios asked me. I began to replay the night in my mind.

“Not really. I just drank
,” I said, confused.

“Kass, you’re in the hospital.
You were drugged,” Darios said regretfully.

“What? How?” I tried to remember what I was doing.

“All I did was have
a few drinks and go to the bathroom,” I said quietly.

“The doctor said you must have ingested it in one of your drinks. Did you take any drinks from anyone?”
he asked.

I could see how upset he was, the worry lines on his face were more pronounced than normal.

“No. We always get bottles and make our own,” I noted. “I drank and then went to the bathroom. I waited in line and someone bumped into me. After that my head started to hurt and I got the spins,” I said, trying to retrace my steps.

“I’ll tell the doctor what you told me.
The police are here and so are Tiff and the girls.” Darios squeezed my hand.

“Fuck
, Kass! You are never going anywhere without me ever again. Do you hear me?” he was yelling at me now. I nodded my head.

I began to cry, only because I was so confused at what had happened.
He stood up and left.

The moment he did, the girls came running in.

“Holy shit
, Kass!” Genna cried out as she hugged me. “You have no fuckin’ clue, girl, at how scared we were.” My tears were now overflowing.

“Kass, are you
okay? Do you need the doctor or something?” Tara asked in a panic. I shook my head no.

“Why the fuck is this happening to me? What the fuck did I ever do wrong?” I asked hysterically. Genna reached out and held me in her arms as I cried.

“Thank
God, Jason was there. He saw what had happened and brought you to us,” she murmured as she soothed my back, trying to calm me down.

“What?” I asked as I pulled away.

“Yeah, Jason was there. I don’t know why, but he was
. He said he saw you pass out and he brought you to us, telling us to call an ambulance.” Tara nodded in agreement.

“Where is he? Is he here?” I asked. My heart wanted to see him.
I needed him now more than ever.

“No
, sweetheart, he left once he knew you were all right. Dar didn’t make it easy on him either. I don’t understand. He was the one who found you and kept you safe,” Genna said, annoyed at my brother.

Darios walked in with Tiff, telling me the doctor said I could go home tomorrow.
Tiff was just as pissed as my brother. She yelled at me, telling me that from now on either I stay home or I get a security guard to follow me around.

“Could both of you just leave her alone?” Genna started to freak on them.
“Look, it’s not helping if you yell your frustrations at her,” she barked at them. Darios ignored her as he pushed her aside and sat next to me.

“Why did you treat Jason the way you did?” I asked
, now angry.

“Why? What am I supposed to do
? Just let him back in here? Let him just walk into your life like nothing has happened? He lied to you!” Darios yelled. “Kass, he could be the fuckin’ person who is stalking you!” I sat in the stretcher stupefied at my brother’s accusation.

“Jason would never hurt me.
He’s not the fuckin’ stalker!” I bit out.

“You don’t know that
,” he fired back.

“I know him. That should be enough!” I growled.

“Well it isn’t. It’s not like you are in the right frame of mind, Kass. He’s messed you up emotionally and I don’t want him anywhere near you. I don’t give a shit that he protected you tonight. I want him out of your life,” he barked.

“Get out
,” I said calmly as I stared at him.

“What?”
he asked.

“Get the fuck out
,” I said again.

“Kass…” Darios started but I stopped him.

“I get it, you worry for me. I understand you love me. But I’ll be
fuckin’ damned if you tell me how to live my life. You are my brother and I love you, but you are not my father! Now get out! Dar, you seriously crossed too many lines tonight!” I stood my ground, angry with him for going as far as ordering who I should be with and why.

Darios stared at me for a long while then stood up and stormed off.
Tiff gave me a knowing look, understanding where I was coming from, but quickly followed my brother.

“Man, your brother is way overprotective of you
,” Genna said as she sat back down next to me.

“He feels responsible for everything that has happened to me.
But he doesn’t understand I'm stronger than what he thinks. He’s doing all this out of guilt.” I laid back down on the stretcher.

“So
, now what? What if it was your stalker?” Tara asked.

“I don’t know
,” I murmured.

Genna and Tara stayed the night
, sleeping in the waiting room. The nurses tried to get rid of them, but not my girls. They were relentless in berating the nurses in letting them stay, saying it would be in their best interest if they left them alone. Both of them took me home and made sure I was settled. I couldn’t find anything that belonged to Darios, I guess he had left. I felt guilty for talking to him the way I had. With our parents out of the picture, Darios was the only real family I had. But I didn’t want him to love me because he felt guilty of what happened all those years ago.

“Are you sure you want to be left alone? I mean with everything that has happened, don’t you want someone here with you?” Tara asked.

“No. Actually I don’t,” I said frankly.

“Fine, sweet bitch, but know we are a phone call away.
Expect to be called every day, several times a day.” Genna pointed at me.

I was finally left alone.
I remembered some things my therapist said and decided to dive in and start writing. It was the only thing that ever made sense. I started to write about everything in my life and how I felt. The words poured out onto the screen in front of me. Word after word, page after page, I realized I wasn’t as strong as I thought. I hid away from everything, thinking I could somehow manage.

It was well into the night, but I picked up my phone and called.

“It’s me. I think we need to talk.” I hung up and waited.

Twenty minutes later, Jason was at my door.
I let him in, both of us not uttering a word. I headed back inside to my table, where I had a glass of wine, which I had started while waiting for him. The nerves in my belly had gotten the better of me so I needed the drink.

“Do you think it’s smart to drink after what happened?”
he asked as he slowly sat in front of me. I looked at my wine and picked up the glass. I took a sip and relished in its taste.

“No
, I don’t,” I said as I put it down. I turned my gaze to him and watched as he looked at me.

“Why were you at the club?” I asked
, wanting to know the answer.

“Because
,” he murmured.

“Because why?” I asked again.

“I knew you would be there and I wanted to make sure you were safe. Is that good enough for you?” he fired back.

“Then why didn’t you stay at the hospital?” I asked
, hurt that he left me alone when I needed him.

“I didn’t want to push you.
I didn’t know exactly how you felt about this and I didn’t want to hurt you anymore than I have,” he stammered.

I picked up the glass of wine and drank again.
I waited, watching him. Did he really care for me or was he like Darios and wanted to protect me? Or was he somehow lost in a brutal past we shared?

“I'm not going to lie and tell you that I understand what I'm feeling because I don’t
,” I sighed. “But I can’t help but wonder if you feel a need to be with me because of what had happened all those years ago. Maybe I'm some sort of life-line to you and nothing more,” I said the words I was afraid to speak. They cut me deep.

What if I was a charity case to him or
, even worse, what if he was emotionally attached to me because of his trauma? I closed my eyes and cried silent tears.

“When I was younger, I wanted to know who you were and thank you for saving me.
All I wanted was to see you from afar. As I got older, I couldn’t help but feel attracted to you. But I kept my distance, knowing it was wrong. You had your own life to lead and didn’t need someone like me. When I saw you at the gym that day, the way you looked at me, I couldn’t help but want to get closer to you,” he said as he looked at me.

“Jason, you’re attracted to me because of the trauma you went through
,” I said as I wiped my tears.

“You can’t honestly think that!” He snapped, his eyes now welling up.

“I
fuckin’ love you, Kassia.” he cried out.  “I love you like you are my own flesh. You are all I have ever dreamt of all these years,” he said bluntly. My heart fluttered at him saying he loved me.

“Jason…I'm scared. Afraid the love you feel for me is only temporary
,” I said, continuing to cry.

“FUCK!” Jason slammed his fist hard onto the table.
“You are my heart. When I left here, my heart stayed with you. I can’t exist if I'm not with you! Kassia, I love you. I love you and only you. Not because of the shit that happened, but because you are you,” he roared.

“This bond we have, it scares me
,” I admitted.

“It scares the shit out of me
, too. But there can be no one else,” he choked out. “Look Kass, just don’t push me out of your life. If you want to end this, I get it. I do. We have a past and it complicates things, but I want to be near you, even if it’s from a distance,” he said ruefully.

“I need time
,” I said softly.

“I’ll be here
, Kassia,” he said quietly. He dropped his shoulders and eased off the chair. I watched as he started for the door.

“No matter what
, Kassia, I love you,” he said as he left.

I sat pinned to my seat as I cried uncontrollably.

The Bookstore

The next few days were a whirlwind of events. I had to start promoting my book and my editor thought it best that I go to Forbidden Planet for a book signing.
In the back of my mind Jason lingered, but right now my time was completely taken over by all the junkets I had to do. My body was failing me, no doubt from the stress I was feeling.

“Have you spoken to your brother?” asked Tiff.

“No, why?” I asked as we walked towards the bookstore. Of course I cared. I missed my brother, nearly two weeks passed since I had seen him.

“He’s worried about you
,” she said quietly.

“Well
, then he can worry about me from afar for now,” I muttered.

“Kass! Don’t you care that he’s hurting?”
she nearly screamed at me. I stopped walking and turned to Tiff, her eyes nearly bugging out of her head.

“Look, I know you have a thing for my brother and I get that you care that he’s hurting
. But this is between him and me, which means it doesn’t include you,” I said in serious tone.

“You’re right
. I'm sorry. I’m worried about both of you,” she admitted.

“Tiff, I love you. You’re the best agent and a great friend. I would do almost anything for you.
I know you have feelings for Darios, but this sort of thing happens with us. We’ll figure it out,” I reassured her.

“How about you? How are you feeling?”
she asked as we started on our way again.

“Tired and not looking forward to any of this
,” I said frankly.

“You always said your fans are great.
Maybe this will help you.” She smiled.

“Yeah
, maybe.”

Tiff was right; the day was great. All my fans made me regain my strength. Tiff and my editor made sure I had extra security. Whatever gifts my fans had, they had to leave them at the front entrance with someone who was going to go through them. Everyone kept asking about Drake and what would happen to him in the next book. Drake was my dreamboat man. A perfect vampire who looked good and had a heart of gold, but man when he was pissed, watch the fuck out. He was fiercely loyal and loved his woman without limits.

“Kass!” cried out Tiff. “Come here, there’s someone I want you to meet.” She waved her hand at me.

I stood up from my seat, my butt feeling numb from the hours I sat down signing my books. I walked over to see a tall man, who was clean cut and wearing a navy suit. The moment I was near he turned and smiled at me.

“Hello
, Ms. Preston.” He reached out his hand, took mine, and shook it.

“Haven’t I seen you before?” I asked
, narrowing my eyes at him.

“I'm glad you remembered. I bumped into you at Coney Island.” He grinned.
“I actually didn’t know it was you until now,” he continued.

He lowered his voice as he turned his body and faced me completely, leaving Tiff behind him. The man was exactly Jason,
an older and more sophisticated version with his suit and tie. His eyes were a light blue and almost shined as he smiled.

“He’s my boss. Jeremy Burns
,” Tiff said, slightly annoyed at him as she moved next to me.

“It’s nice to meet you.” I smiled.

“Tired?’ Tiff asked.

“Beyond.” I looked over to her.

“Okay well, let’s get you ready and take you home. I’ll have the car come around,” she said as she massaged my back.

“Why don’t I take you?” Jeremy asked.

“Thanks for the offer, but no thank you, Mr. Burns,” I politely declined.

“Jeremy
,” he corrected.

“Only if you call me Kassia,
because to be quite honest, I hate being called Ms. Preston,” I stated.

“Deal.” He slightly nodded.

I walked back to the table, which I sat at and collected my things. From the corner of my eye I saw Jason. He was standing near the fantasy aisle. He wore his Ray-Bans and faded jeans with a dark blue t-shirt and a black blazer. The sight of him made my knees weak and my heartache. How could I face him now after everything that had happened between us? I stood looking at him, watching him intently. He simply stood where he was, not making an effort to come any closer. I felt his eyes on me. I craved his touch. I needed his arms around me. I wanted to feel safe, because for me, Jason was my only solace.

“Are you ready to go?” asked Jeremy as he drew closer to me. I saw Jason stiffen.

“No! Not yet
,” I murmured.

I grabbed my bag and headed to where Jason was.
The closer I got to him, the further he went, leaving me behind.

“Jason!” I cried out, but he didn’t bother to stop.
I watched as he left the bookstore.

“Are you
okay?” Jeremy drew closer.

“I'm fine
,” I huffed.

I took out my phone and scrolled down to find his number. I tried calling, but he didn’t answer.

“I’ll take you home.” Jeremy reached out and put his hand on my shoulder.
I finished and moved away from him.

“Like I said before
, there’s no need. Thank you,” I said more forcefully.

“Isn’t he the one who was with you at Coney Island?
I remember how protective he was of you. I wonder why he’s so willing to walk away from you now?” Jeremy said. I didn’t like the tone in his voice. It was almost condescending. “If you were my woman, I wouldn’t so easily leave you with another man,” he continued. I began to make my way to the front of the store, but Jeremy stopped me.

“Do you honestly think I would let our top client just leave here when there’s a stalker harassing her?”
He then took my bag off my shoulder.

“Hey!” I yelled after him. I stopped
, remembering Jason had done the same thing.

“Come on
, Kassia, I'm taking you home,” he said as he waited and held the store door open for me.

“Give me back my bag
,” I hissed.

“Only when I get you home
,” he fired back.

“
All right!” I gave in, only because I didn’t have the heart to fight right now. I tried to hold back the tears, which threatened to fall. He did the exact same thing Jason did when we first met. He walked me to his car and opened the door for me. I stepped inside and sat down, not bothering to utter a word to him.

“You know
, Kassia, it would be a more enjoyable drive if you actually spoke to me,” he said sarcastically.

“Well
, I find it much more enjoyable not speaking at the moment,” I murmured.

“Ray-Bans made you angry?”
he asked.

“It’s none of your business
,” I said.

“It is when I'm trying to find out whether or not you’re dating him
,” he noted.

“Why would that be any concern of yours?” I asked.

“Because I wouldn’t mind asking you out,” he stated.

“You can’t be serious?” I choked out.

“Why? You are a beautiful woman and I want you for myself. What is so strange about that?” he asked. We had stopped at a red light, both of us now staring at each other.

“I'm not interested
,” I said honestly.

“You might be. Look, finish up with Ray-Bans and
try me. I might be more in your league.” I looked away from him, annoyed at the direction the conversation had headed.

“Just take me home.” I dismissed him.

We drove the rest of the way home in silence, which was fine by me.
Once I was in front of my home, I quickly thanked him and nearly ran out of the car.

“I’ll call you later
,” he rolled down his window and yelled out to me.

The moment I stepped into my
home, I felt the safety of my world. Inside these four walls was everything I held dear, except for one thing. I wanted Jason here with me, but the reality was I had no confidence to truly face him. What could I ever possibly offer Jason to replace all that he had lost? I dropped my bag down onto the floor and headed inside. I slowly pulled off my jacket and made my way up the stairs to my bedroom. I peeled each layer of clothing off and dropped into my bed.

I wrapped myself with my large duvet cover and laid there in the dark
; my mind wandering off to places I didn’t want it to go. I had opened my heart up to him because it felt like it was right. Why was I so wrong about him, about us, about everything?