My Guardian Angel (11 page)

Regretting It

I stirred in my sleep, my stomach
grumbling, as I smelled food. I stretched in bed, my body aching from earlier this morning. We had both fallen asleep in each other’s arms.

Being with Jason felt right and in my mind it was where I was supposed to be.
But would he feel the same way or would he push me away again? I was preparing myself mentally, thinking about all possible outcomes. I hoped for only one to come true.

I lay in bed for a few more minutes. At this point, right now, nothing was said or done. What had happened last night changed everything, and if I were to walk through that door, all that I felt would be decided and dealt with.

The door
knob moved and I instinctively closed my eyes, pretending I was still asleep. Jason moved around the bed and placed something at the edge. He made his way around and knelt down next to me. His fingers played with my hair, moving it off my face.

“You can stop pretending you’re asleep
,” he chuckled.

I laid still and slowly opened my eyes.
His head was tilted to one side. He smiled a little as he looked down at me. The late morning sun was peering into his room, making him glow in soft colors of yellow and orange.

“I wasn’t pretending
,” I murmured.

“Sure you weren’t and I wasn’t making you breakfast.” He leaned across me and pulled
up a tray that he had placed at the edge of the bed. “I made you eggs and some toast.”

I sat up in bed and watched him as he still knelt beside me.

“Did you eat?” I asked, watching him pull the tray closer to me.

“Yeah, as I was cooking your eggs.”

I looked at the tray in front of me and thought how sweet he was for doing this.

“Was there a reason why I found you in my arms last night?’ His gaze moved from the tray to meet my eyes.

“You had a nightmare.
I tried waking you up, but you pulled me into your arms and I guess I feel asleep,” I said rather sheepishly.

“A nightmare? Next time I have one, I want you to stay away.
I don’t know if I get violent, but I don’t want anything to happen to you.” He rose up and moved away.

“Where are you going?” I pushed the tray back and tried to get out of bed to follow him.

Jason walked out of the room, leaving me behind.
I picked up a t-shirt and my boxers and almost ran out of the room to catch up to him.

He stood in the middle of his living room, staring out of his window.
He was shirtless, but wore a pair of long sweat pants. His back muscles moved as he stood.

“So you’re regretting it
,” I said meekly. “Look, just forget it happened. Chalk it up to an emotional night. I’ll need to leave. Being here is getting to be too complicated for me,” I admitted. He turned around and glared at me.

“Regretting it?” He sounded almost hurt as he whispered the words.
“Do you have any idea how much I fought myself not to touch you? Since day one, all I ever wanted was you, Kassia. But I have nothing to offer you. I want to be something important in your life. Someone who’s worthy of you, but I’m only me,” he said ruefully as he pounded his chest.

The veins inside me began to sing, the world around me changed color.
Everything he said aligned itself with me and I felt like I had finally gotten what I had always dreamed of. Jason was a phenomenon which occurred, and I wanted him to be a part of me. I had no real rational way of thinking about it. Jason was somehow always mine and I needed him to know that.

“Since the moment you came into my life, you somehow fit like you were always meant to be there.
Jason, I have wanted to be with you since I met you. I can’t explain why and I don’t care to, but I don’t want you to push me away again.” Tiny tears prickled my eyes as I spoke.

“I'm not good for you
, Kassia,” he said humbly as he moved closer to me. “But I can’t seem to stay away from you.” With his last words, he reached out, took my face into his hands, and kissed me.

He broke our kiss and leaned his forehead onto mine.
“I'm not going to ever push you away again. I'm here now and I'm not ever going to let you go,” he declared as his lips sought mine. The most euphoric feeling came through me as I melted into his embrace. “You’re finally mine,” he barely whispered as he held me in his arms. I was exactly what he said, his.

Jason and I settled into a blissful little routine. I was finally happy. He’d come home from work and I would have dinner or breakfast ready, depending on what his shifts were like. After he’d eat, he’d shower and take me to bed with him. We’d make love and then fall asleep in each other’s arms. Whatever this was between us, I didn’t fight it. It seemed like everything was meant to be when I was with him.

I was busy trying to finish up my last edits to my book before sending them out. I hadn’t seen Jason the whole day.
I knew he had come back home, but I had locked myself up in his bedroom, trying desperately to finish up my work. Jason always understood when it came to my writing. He never once interrupted me when I was cooped up, trying to masterfully create when all I wanted was to run out of this room into his arms.

I was starting to make idiotic mistakes, plus my eyes were starting to hurt.
That’s when I knew I hit my limit. It was time to call it quits for the night, well what was left of the night. It was way past four in the morning. Fuck, I was at this book for hours. I stood up from my chair and stretched out my body. I was going to do some yoga tomorrow. Maybe I could persuade Jason to help me. I smiled, as tiny, naughty thoughts began to dance around my head. Jason, I thought. Fuck, he probably was sleeping. He had woken up early yesterday morning, his shift only ended about eighteen hours later. Jason worked all the time, either he would do doubles or work seven days straight. The boy honestly had little else in his life.

I slowly opened the door. I’d get some water and my daily dose of Jason.
I’d watch him sleep, then go to bed. Whether he was awake or asleep, it didn’t matter to me, as long as I got to see him. I inched my way closer to the kitchen, not wanting to make any noise to wake him up. As I got closer, I noticed a soft glow emanating around the main room. I came closer and saw Jason wide-awake, smiling at me as he saw me. Candles were placed everywhere while a box of chocolates were on the coffee table. He pressed a button on his remote control and soft music began to play.

“I waited until you were done
,” he said as he rose up from the floor and walked over to me.

“Are you crazy? You worked a double shift.
Go to sleep,” I implored.

“I have tomorrow off and I wanted to spend the night with my girl
,” he noted as he took my hand into his and began pulling me to the center of the room.

“Jason…I…thank you.” I was at a loss for words.

“You’re worth every effort I make. Besides, I would do anything for my granny
,” he mocked.

“Jason!” I shouted and he laughed.

We both knelt down on the floor
. I made myself comfortable as Jason took out a bottle of wine he had next to him and uncorked it.

“Wine,
m’lady?” He took a glass and offered it to me.

I took it from his hand and began smelling the aromas.
Once he finished pouring his, he reached out his glass and gently touched mine.

“Cheers
, Kass,” he said softly. With his free hand, he reached out and began caressing my face. “You’re so beautiful,” he murmured. I closed my eyes and melted into his palm. “I see you’ve been working all day, too,” he noted.

“Hmm and I’m tired, mentally that is
,” I said with my eyes still closed. I relished his touch.

“God, I love the way you feel.”
He inched closer.

“I love the way you make me feel
,” I said, opening my eyes to see a Jason who took my breath away.

His features were softened by the candlelight, as his tired eyes were looking right at me.
His low, gruff voice proof of how tired he was. I put my glass down and reached for his. I placed it onto the coffee table next to mine. I moved in closer and took him in my arms. He came so willingly that I felt a small ache in my heart. He had tried to do something for me, despite how tired he felt. I held him in my arms and he rested his head on my chest.

“You’re tired
, too,” I whispered.

He said nothing.
All he did was lay still in my arms. The music played softly in the background and the little candles Jason had put everywhere began to die down. Jason fell asleep in my arms. I held him close, trying my best to not wake him.

The night sky began to gradually dissipate, as the sun began to rise up over the city’s rooftops.
I sat still, content in the moment I was sharing with him. Being with Jason was enough for me. Yes, I craved his body on me. I needed his touch constantly, but his mere presence was enough to make me happy.

Our Date

“Wake up
, sleepy.” I was awoken by Jason’s hand on my face. I reluctantly moved and opened my eyes.

“Sorry
,” he said meekly. “I pretty much fucked that up.” He half smiled scratching his head.

“What did you fuck up?” I wondered.

“Last night. I wanted to do something special for you and I go and
fuckin’ fall asleep,” he growled low in his throat.

“Jason, it was perfect last night.
Don’t overthink it. It really made me happy.” I smiled.

“So, you have a day off today?”
I asked, still smiling. I guessed we would be staying in, which I didn’t mind. It had been days since I went out. I craved some sort of normalcy or even, dare I say, human contact. I sighed heavily as disappointment washed over me.

“What’s wrong?’ Jason asked.

“I want to go out. Jason, I need to go out, as much as I would love to go to bed with you and stay there all day, I still need to breathe a little. I feel caged up in here,” I finally let it out.

“Fine, we’ll go out and then I’ll take you to bed and do things to you that I was dreaming about last night.” He winked.

“Are you serious? We can finally get out of here? No crazy stalker talk. No I'm SWAT and I need to protect you,” I began to mock, excited about the idea of having a date.

“No. I won’t mention anything, I promise
,” he said as he picked up a strand of my hair and began to play with its ends. “I'm going to make sure I get you home early so I can fuck you senseless.” He looked up, his eyes narrowing as he smirked. I became giddy and began bouncing around.

“
Okay, so I guess I better get dressed and get this date over with already.” I ran to the bedroom to pick out my clothing. Jason only laughed at my antics as he walked to the bathroom to wash up.

I loved New York with its busy streets and yellow cabs trying their best to weave in and out of traffic. Even the occasional disgruntled New Yorker, who you could hear swearing from down the block. New York was the city, which was alive with dreams from both the elitists to the modest. I was glad I was able to live my life. Now I had Jason and his arm was around my waist as he helped guide me through the crowd.

“God, I love Pastis. I can’t wait to eat my omelet with fine herbs.” I began to rub my belly, anticipating the food.
Pastis was a tiny bistro that I loved going to in the meatpacking district.

“I’ve never been
,” Jason said, following me through the streets.

“Well
, you’ll love it.” I winked.

We finally made it and were
seated. The waitress was great. One tiny little detail I didn’t like about her was that she constantly stared at Jason. Jason was polite and smiled at her; he even laughed at her joke. The girl looked about his age, which made my heart wince a little. I felt like an outsider looking in on a relationship that should be, instead of me coveting something which most probably would end. I reached for my tea as Jason finished up his order and I began drinking it. Damn, the thing was too hot. I put it down and began to brood.

“Kass, are you
okay?” he asked, taking my hand into his.

“Yeah, just overthinking.
I do that sometimes.” I smiled, trying to act normal.

“Thinking about what?” He pulled on my
hand, which I tried to release from his grip.

“Just stupid things
,” I mumbled.

“So
, if it’s stupid, just tell me.”

I finally got my hand out of his and looked down at my tea.
I picked up the spoon and began stirring it.

“You look good together
,” I murmured.

“What?”
he asked, confused at where I was going with this.

“I told you it was stupid.
It’s just when I saw you two, I felt like maybe…I felt like I might be too old for you,” I finally stammered out.

“You realize you’re crazy
,” he said, shaking his head. He stood up and sat down next to me. He turned my chair to face him. “It’s you I want, not some random chick you force on me. So, stop thinking stupid shit and just be with me today,” he said, soothing my self-inflicted, bruised ego.

We got our meals
; I watched as Jason made an effort not to even look at the waitress, which made me laugh. I was being stupid and insecure. I wanted my date with Jason and here I was in the middle of ruining it. Once she finished placing our plates down and asking us if we needed anything, she left.

“I didn’t say it so you would no longer be you.
I'm going to be a bit insecure about this, at least for now,” I said honestly. “But it was kind of cute the way you avoided eye contact with her,” I giggled.

“It’s your fault for making me feel
uncomfortable,” he admitted.

“Sorry about that.”

Jason asked me what I wanted to do the rest of the day and I said shopping.
He took me to Macy’s department store, which was a mistake on two parts. One, I went wild shopping. Hey! I was cooped up in that condo for at least two weeks. I needed a break and apparently a much needed shopping spree. I could tell Jason was reaching his limit and a part of me took pity on him. But I had to admit, a small part of me wanted to continue burning a hole in my account.

As for the second, well, that only happened after I gave in and said we could go home.
On the way out, a few women huddled together started to approach me.

“Are you Kassia Preston? The Kassia Preston? The author?”
one of the women asked.

I could tell they were rich
; their clothes were twice as expensive as what I had bought myself. I nodded, not saying a word. Jason stiffened next to me and took my hand into his, pulling me behind him.

“
Oh, my God! I love you. I mean, we all love you. Drake is a dream. How did you come up with someone like him?” She started bombarding me with her questions. She didn’t even give me enough time to answer.

“Obviously, look at the boy toy she has.
The woman is a man-eater. No wonder you came up with Drake.” I felt Jason go ridged and I knew this wasn’t going to end well if we didn’t get away from them soon.

“Well, ladies, it was nice meeting you,” I said politely and tugged on Jason’s hand to leave.

“Can we at least get a picture?”
one of the other women asked. I swallowed whatever bitter anger I had and nodded.

“Just one
,” I said, almost grinding my teeth when I smiled.

“
Okay! Come girls, go around her.”

Jason was pushed back to allow space for all four women to surround me. He was then given one of the women’s phones and told to take a picture
. I felt badly at how they treated him, like he was some kind of hired help. Once the picture was taken, I started to move, but they wouldn’t have it.

“What about my phone?
Take one with mine,” the other said, holding out her phone.

“I'm sorry, but I do have a meeting and can’t stay any longer.” I tried desperately to hold back my tongue.

“But I want a pic. It would mean so much.” Damn it.

“
Okay, one more, but that’s all I can do ladies.” I gave in. I knew once it started it wouldn’t end easily.

“I have to say, he’s quite the looker.” She reached over and placed her arm around me.

Once the second photo was done, I immediately moved towards Jason.

“Well
, ladies, it was nice meeting you.” I nodded a little. I took my bags which were in Jason’s hand and practically threw the phone at the woman and left. 

“I thought you said you liked meeting you
r fans?” Jason said as he reached for my hand and intertwined our fingers.

“Well
, not today, I didn’t,” I said bluntly.

“Let’s go home.” He smiled, but I could tell something was on his mind.

Fucki
n’ bitches and their comments, but I guess I should be getting used to everyone having an opinion about us. Why was it bad form for the woman to be older?

Jason hardly spoke on the way back to his condo, which irritated me to no end.
I knew something was bothering him, but he wouldn’t tell me. Jason was always tightlipped when it came to how he felt.

The moment we stepped back into the condo something inside me wanted him there and now.
I needed him. I needed to make him feel better, somehow. Whatever was bothering him, I felt like I could take it all away. Melt it with the heat of my body. Jason walked into his living room and sat down. I dropped my bags in the entryway and made my way to him. I stood in front of him. He looked up at me and smiled, not his usual devilish smile, but one, which masked his sadness. What was bothering him?

I dropped onto my knees and saw his eyes change. I smirked as I reached for his jeans and pulled on his zipper.

“Kass?” he murmured.

I shushed him, as I unbuttoned his jeans and pulled them down a little.
I reached inside and I could feel him, he was already semi-hard. I smiled again and I pulled it out. God, it was beautiful to look at. I licked my lips and I could hear him suck air through his teeth. He reached out and with his fingers feathered my chin. His fingers moved up to my mouth and began slowly to circle my lips. I let my tongue come out just enough to lick his finger. He growled. I grabbed his cock at the base and began to pump slowly. I inched closer and placed my mouth on the tip of his penis. He groaned and his head fell back. With my free hand, I grabbed onto his balls and began to massage them. I whirled my tongue around his tip. I could taste his pre-cum. The man wasn’t small by any means; the very weight of him in my mouth made me feel full. I removed my hand and gradually eased my mouth down to try to take as much of him as I could.

I loved the feel of Jason’s fingers delving into my hair as he gently pushed my head down so I could go further.
I loved how he took control, seeking out his release. I could feel his erection pulsate. I opened my mouth wider and let my tongue leisurely go up his shaft until I reached the tip. I wrapped my mouth around and began sucking it harder. Jason groaned and hissed. His body moved forward as he held onto my hair and began to tug at the strands. I could feel the head of his cock swell. He was close.

“Fuck
, Kass, your mouth feels fuckin’ good,” he gritted out.

His head had now fallen back, as a hot spray of semen shot out into the back of my throat.
I began milking the tip until he couldn’t take it any longer. Jason fell back onto the couch, trying to catch his breath. I released his penis from my mouth and smiled. He looked at me through hooded eyes as a small grin began to etch itself across his face.

“Fuck
, you’re so beautiful. You seriously take my breath away.” His low voice made my already swollen pussy wetter than before.

My pussy was hungry for him.
He rose up from the couch, took my arm and lifted me up.

“Bedroom now!”
he said sternly.

I licked my lips in anticipation.
The man knew how to fuck and I loved everything he gave me. He was rough yet tender. He pushed my boundaries to places I hadn’t yet dreamed of.

I nearly ran to the room
, taking off my clothes. Jason came leisurely, like a predator seeking out his prey.

“On the bed
,” he ordered.

I slowly sat down and pushed myself back, until I reached the middle of the bed.
He took off his shirt, his tattoo in full effect. His muscles were perfect and lean. He yanked off his pants and took out a condom. He was hard again. He rolled the condom onto his perfect penis and made his way to the bed.

“Spread your legs
, Kass.” I did as I was told.

“Wider
,” he growled. He took my legs and pulled me to him. I yelped in surprise. He took his cock and placed it at my entrance.

“Fuck, you’re so wet
, baby,” he said hungrily as he watched his cock push in slowly. “Can you feel me entering you? Do you feel how hard my cock is for you? Only for you,” he said, his voice strained. He finally reached my mound, his erection completely inside me. He released my legs and took my arms, forcing me to sit on him. Our eyes met and my body relaxed.

“I made you even wetter just by looking at you.” He grinned.
“Touch me, Kass. Touch me while I fuck you,” he bit out.

He placed his hands on my ass and began to move me up and down.
He controlled everything and I didn’t mind one fuckin’ bit. I began to feather his skin as he fucked me. A low moan began to form as I gradually reached his chest. I took his nipple and gently squeezed it, the piercing making it that much more exciting. I squeezed it harder, which earned me a growl.

“More!”
he barked. I twisted it and he nearly lost control. He threw me onto the bed and began hammering wildly. I reached out, took him by the back of the neck and forced a kiss. I bit his lower lip and that was my undoing. He growled loudly as he came hard.