My Dream Man (17 page)

I spent the next two days at home. Greg didn’t call or text, respecting my wishes. I was grateful, but there was a part of me that wished he’d continue pleading, asking me to call him even though I wouldn’t.

I tried reading a few books to pass the time but couldn’t concentrate. I missed Greg and felt sad I had left Seattle under such terrible circumstances. We had such a beautiful room and a few more romantic nights planned. Once again, I tried to figure out why Allison had showed up at the conference. Was it really just for the event, or was she trying to see him and save their marriage? The way Greg pleaded with me made it seem unlikely he would take her back even if she was interested. He sounded heartbroken. You can’t fake heartbroken, can you? But then again, he had lied to me, and it was a pretty major lie. What if he lied again?

 I hated the way my thoughts tumbled around in my head.

The phone beckoned me and I had to fight the urge to call. The only thing I had any control over was my own response to the situation. I could stew over it, overanalyze it some more, or just let it go. I decided to try that. Just let whatever happened, happen. But I’d stick to my decision no matter what. I wasn’t going to bend on that. It wasn’t right to spend time with a married man – even if he was separated from his wife. I couldn’t agree with that. And more than that, he’d broken my trust. And isn’t trust everything in a relationship?

Why was it that the people you loved the most were the ones who could also hurt you the most?

No, I wouldn’t budge on my decision. It was up to him, now.

I just hoped he actually divorced Allison.

My mind wandered again. Did I just give her the opportunity to win him back by abruptly leaving? Maybe she’s comforting him right now, explaining away her previous behavior as a youthful mistake. They could be lingering at some coffee shop talking about scientific breakthroughs and remembering all they have in common.

Why was I putting myself through all this? I felt like I was going insane.

The phone’s keypad was like a siren that called to me. I had to do something to distract myself so I wouldn’t give in.

That’s when I got a brilliant idea. I hopped in the shower and got ready to go visit Mrs. Myszkowski. I hadn’t seen her new place and there never was a better time to visit.

On my way to the assisted living center I stopped at the drugstore. I bought some chips, candy, and a bottle of wine. As the cashier rung me up, I noticed the cigarettes behind the counter. For a split second I considered buying her a pack. But then I thought better of the idea. I cared too much for her.

I drove there feeling sure she’d have some good advice. She always did. And for some reason I didn’t feel embarrassed to share the news with her like I did with my family. She was like a therapist, and I found myself smiling for the first time in days just thinking of her.

The woman at the front desk called Mrs. Myszkowski and let her know she had a visitor. Then she told me I could head on over. I knocked on the door of her apartment and Anna promptly answered, wearing a big smile.

That smile disappeared when she saw how sad I looked. “Uh oh. Looks like something’s wrong. Am I right?”

I stepped inside, then pulled the bottle of wine out of the shopping bag. “I’ve been better. But the good news is we have alcohol,” I joked.

She didn’t make any wise cracks. She just offered me a seat on the sofa. “Tell me all about it.”

I took a deep breath, and proceeded to tell her everything that happened. She was delighted and smiled at the good parts, like the marriage proposal, and she grimaced when I told her the story about Allison. When I finally finished bringing her up to date, I had tears in my eyes.

“We better open the wine,” she said matter-of-factly.

Anna wheeled to her mini kitchen and returned with the corkscrew. “I’ll let you do it. I don’t have strength in my hands,” she said.

I took it from her and popped the cork, then rose to get the glasses. “They’re in the cupboard next to the fridge,” she said, pointing.

I poured us each a glass. She sipped hers and I chugged mine.

“Boy. You’re in quite a pickle,” she admitted. “I never would’ve imagined dealing with this predicament.” She set her glass on the coffee table. “But I’ll tell you what: You did the right thing. I know it was tough. And I know you want to call him because you’re worried he may not come back to you. But I’m proud of you. You were dealt an awful hand and you played it the best you could.”

“Thanks,” I said, surprised by her compliment.

“When does he come home?”

“Tonight.”

She rubbed her chin, thinking. “I think it’s a good sign he hasn’t contacted you. It means he respects your decision. He left you all those messages and you told him what needs to happen in order to move forward. The ball’s in his court, I’m afraid.”

She hadn’t said anything different than I already knew, yet somehow hearing it from her made it sound better. It gave me hope.

I poured myself more wine. “Don’t you think it’s odd he hadn’t divorced her yet?” I continued. “I mean, she left him for an internship overseas years ago and never came back. Why didn’t he finalize things and be done with her a long time ago?”

Mrs. Myszkowski took a sip of her drink. “That’s a tough question to answer without being a mind reader. He may be telling the truth, that he got immersed in work and didn’t make it a priority. Then he met you and got off his butt and filed the papers because he knew you were something special.”

“That’s kind of what he said, too.” More and more it seemed like Greg was telling the truth.

I reached into the grocery bag and pulled out the candy bars and chips. “Interested in some junk food?” I asked. “I’m not your nurse anymore, so…”

“Is there anything else at the bottom of the bag?” she asked.

“No. But I looked longingly at the cigarettes on your behalf in the drug store.” She laughed. “Besides, I may not be your nurse, but I’m still your friend.”

She smiled and reached for a candy bar. “I think things are going to work out. Call it a gut feeling,” she said. She unwrapped her candy bar and took a bite.

I ripped open the bag of chips and began munching. “Do you think Greg’s dad knew? He’s a decent man. I can’t picture him setting me up with his son if he knew he was still married. That’s not like him.”

“Can you imagine how humiliated he must feel if he found out? He was probably under the impression they’d gotten a divorce.”

She had a point. If I hadn’t told my family, maybe he hadn’t told his.

By my third glass of wine I felt relaxed. “So how do you like your new place?” I asked.

She seemed unenthused. “It’s a bit small. And I miss my house, which is for sale by the way if you know any interested buyers. But I’ve been able to make it my own.”

I glanced around and noticed some of her old furnishings and a few new items. “And how are the people here? Do you like them?”

She laughed. “The people,” she said, waving her hand. “The nurses are some kind of rent a nurse. They can’t give you medicine. They can put it on a tray and you can take it, but they can’t put it in your mouth.”

I was familiar with what she was describing. It was a new way to cut costs by hiring fewer RN’s.

“But they’re nice,” she admitted.

“How about the other residents. Have you made any friends yet?”

“A few. I wouldn’t call them friends just yet, but we’ve made each other’s acquaintance.”

“Nice. And how about your son? How’s he doing?”

“He’s doing well. Having me here helps him sleep better at night. He was worried about me living all alone.”

“That makes sense,” I agreed.

“So what plans do you have for Christmas?” I asked.

“Alex is coming by and we’re going to dinner. And his wife is planning a shopping day for us.” She rolled her eyes. I remembered she wasn’t the biggest fan of his spouse.

“Well that sounds like fun.” Thinking of the holidays made me sad. I had thought I’d be spending mine with Greg. The idea of being without him brought on a sinking feeling.

“I know it’s hard, honey,” Anna said. “But you have to stay strong. He’ll be back. I’m sure of it.”

“How do you know?”

“I don’t know,” she admitted. “It just seemed like the right thing to say.” She smiled and reached for my hand. “All you can do is try to stay busy. Take care of your patients, spend time with your family, and go on with life. If it’s meant to be it will be.”

Wiser words were never spoken.

On Saturday my mom called and left a message, asking how the trip went, but I didn’t call her back. I just continued with housework, hoping to avoid her as long as possible since I still didn’t know what to tell her. On Sunday Tabby called and left a message. She wanted to hear all about the vacation too. I was sure they both knew Greg was going to propose on the trip since he’d asked my dad. They were probably excited and couldn’t wait to hear all the details.

As I scrubbed the bathroom floor I wondered how long I could put off telling them. Part of me wished Greg’s divorce would be finalized and he’d show up at my door with the engagement ring, and we could go on like nothing ever happened. But every morning I woke up alone I was reminded that I was still in the middle of a bad dream. Then I’d spend the rest of the day feeling lethargic and cranky.

Sunday night Tabby called again, but didn’t leave a message. Then she tried me back a half hour later. I knew if I didn’t call her back soon she’d stalk me every fifteen minutes. Feeling foolish, I reached for the phone and hit redial.

“Hey Sam,” Tabby answered, sounding bright and sunny. “How was the trip?”

I paused, wondering how to describe it. “It was the best of times, and it was the worst of times,” I said, quoting Dickens.

“What the heck does that mean?”

“It means Greg proposed to me, and it was the happiest day of my life. Then we broke up the next day, and I flew home early. Now we aren’t speaking.”

“No way,” she said. “What did you guys argue about that was so major?”

“It wasn’t an argument. More like I went to the conference to watch him give his presentation, and while I sat there, a woman approached me and began chatting. Turns out it’s his estranged wife.”

“No way.”

“Yep. Turns out he was married to that serious girlfriend. And after they separated he never filed for a divorce, yet he felt it was perfectly okay to propose to me.”

“That’s insanity Sam. How could he ask you to marry him when he’s still married? What a jerk! So what did you say to his…er…wife? Did you make a scene?”

“No. I said I had to use the restroom. Then I went back to the hotel, grabbed my shit and left.”

“Oh my God, Sam. I’m so sorry. You should’ve called me. I would’ve cut class and come to be with you.” She sounded distraught. Sometimes I forgot she worried about me as much as I worried about her, that this sister thing worked both ways.

“I thought of it, but then I decided I just wanted to be alone. And frankly, I felt like a fool. I didn’t want you to see me this way.”

She exhaled. “You’re not a fool, you’re just human, Sam. Like everyone else.” She paused, then added, “Just know if you ever want me to be with you when there’s a problem, I will. I’ll drop whatever I’ve got going on and be at your door.”

“Thanks Tab,” I said, my voice breaking up.

“Shit,” she said. “I’m just so… This sucks.”

“I know.”

“And Greg? Have you heard from him?”

“He left a ton of messages. He said he filed for the divorce right after we started dating and that it should be finalized soon. That’s why he thought it was okay to ask me. Then he said he was sorry and asked me to call him.”

“As messed up as that is, I believe that. But why was she at the conference? Did he invite her?”

“No. He claims he had no idea she’d be there.”

“But I’m sure she knew he’d be there. Wasn’t his name listed as a presenter?”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought too. She had to know.” I felt the sinking feeling return as I thought of her. “You should have seen the way she looked at him. It didn’t look like she was over him.”

“I wouldn’t stress it. She walked out on him and they haven’t seen each other in ages. He loves you and just asked you to marry him. Why don’t you call him Sam?”

I wanted to so badly. Being apart from him felt like my heart had been ripped from my chest. “I can’t,” I told her. “I texted him and asked him not to contact me again unless he was divorced.”

“Why’d you do that? That doesn’t make sense.”

“I guess I said it because I was hurt. And I don’t want to be played. I’d rather lose him than be strung along.”

“Okay,” she said, sounding confused. “I personally don’t think he’s trying to string you along, but if that’s what you want to do. I guess it’s a good way for him to earn your trust again.” She paused, then asked, “So what are you going to tell Mom and Dad? They both knew he was going to propose. I guess he spoke to Dad beforehand, and then they told me. How are you going to break this to them?”

“I was hoping I wouldn’t have to. I thought maybe if the divorce would be final soon, I wouldn’t have to tell them. But if it takes much longer, and Greg doesn’t come to Christmas, I’m screwed. Then I’ll have to own up to everything.” I sighed, completely frustrated by the whole situation. “I just don’t want to tell them Tab. That’s why I’ve been avoiding the phone.”

“Heck. I’m surprised you told me,” she scoffed. “I would’ve thought you’d have told Mom first.”

“I guess I hoped you’d have an idea. Something clandestine so I can keep this under wraps. By the way, you weren’t the first person I told. I went to see Mrs. Myszkowski and got her advice.”

“What’s with you and that old lady? She’s not even your patient anymore.”

“She’s my friend. Plus, she knows stuff.”

“Whatever.”

“So do you have any ideas on how to keep this from Mom and Dad?”

“What did Mrs. Myszkowski suggest?” Tabby asked somewhat sarcastically.

“Forget I mentioned her. We didn’t talk about Mom and Dad anyway.”

“What did you talk about then?”

“I just told her what happened between me and Greg. And she told me I did the right thing by asking him not to contact me until he’s divorced.”

“I’m sorry. I don’t agree with her, but whatever. You do what you want to do.”

“Well what do you think I should do about Mom and Dad?”

There was silence, then she said, “I don’t see the point of keeping it a secret at all. Isn’t this whole circumstance the result of keeping secrets? Isn’t that what Greg did? If you don’t tell Mom and Dad, aren’t you behaving the same way? Besides, it will be pretty obvious when he doesn’t show up at Christmas.”

She was right.

“Why don’t you just call him Sam? He’s probably missing you too, and the divorce is in the works. Why be so stubborn? Give him a chance to earn your trust again. Offer forgiveness. If you do end up married, you’ll probably have to do that for each other more than once.”

“Stop sounding like a therapist. You’re freaking me out.”

“I know a few things about second chances.”

Crap. She was back with Jack again. I knew it. “I’ll give Greg a second chance when he’s divorced, but not a moment sooner.”

“Okay. I guess that’s better than nothing.”

Now, he just needed to get that divorce.