My Dream Man (18 page)

When I returned to work on Monday I gave it my complete attention. I found listening to each patient and interacting with them soothing. It took the focus off my own problems for a while. But the sinking feeling returned on the way home. I wished it would pass and I could enjoy life while I waited to see where mine would go. Instead I was stuck in limbo.

I had no appetite but knew I had to eat, so I ended up having a can of soup for dinner. As I sipped a spoonful I thought about Greg. I missed him so much. I’d grown so attached to him that being without him was like I’d lost a part of myself.

My mom called after I’d eaten and since I couldn’t avoid her any longer, I picked up.

“Hey Mom,” I said. “How’s it going?”

“Good. I’ve been trying to get in touch with you. How was the trip? Is everything okay?”

I hesitated, then thought about what Tabby had said. Damn it, she was right. I told my mom everything.

“Oh honey, why didn’t you tell me this earlier? You must be devastated,” she said.

“I was embarrassed. I know that’s stupid, but I felt like such a fool. And then I started thinking if things happened quickly and everything worked out between us I could just keep it from you. I didn’t want you and Dad to think differently of him.”

“People make mistakes, that’s all,” she said, her reaction surprising me. “Sounds like he’s trying to make it right. I know I won’t hold it against him. Your father, on the other hand, probably won’t be too thrilled.”

My neck muscles tightened. “That’s what I was afraid of,” I said. “Will you do me a big favor and not tell him? I mean, if things don’t work out I’ll tell him we broke up. But if we get back together, I’d love it if Dad didn’t know about all this.”

“Well, I don’t make it a habit to keep secrets from your dad, but in this case I’ll make an exception. It’s probably for the best.”

“Thanks Mom,” I said, relieved.

“But in return you have to promise to tell me when you’re hurting so I can be there for you. How’s that?”

“I can do that,” I said.

Val called later in the week. The holidays were right around the corner and we shopped together every year. It was tradition. This season my heart wasn’t in it, but I went along anyway.

She picked me up and we drove in her car to the mall. “We have to power shop today, because I have a dinner date later.”

“Someone who lives up to the novels?” I teased.

Val laughed. “One can only hope.”

I hadn’t told her Greg proposed on the trip or the ensuing drama. If I should’ve told anyone it should’ve been her, but I decided not to burden her with that information. I put her in my dad’s category, unsure if she’d go from bubbly and upbeat to pissed and not want to see him in the future. She could have a temper when she wanted to.

As we left the last store I heard someone call my name. I turned and saw it was Brian. “You ladies have quite a lot of bags,” he said.

“We’re professional shoppers,” Val said. She’d always liked him and could never see why I broke it off. “By the looks of your empty hands, you suck at it,” she said.

“Not shopping. I work a part-time job at a store for some extra holiday cash. I was just leaving.”

“Cool,” Val said. “We’ll walk out with you.”

I had no clue why I kept running into him, but I didn’t want to be rude during the holidays. “You must be tired working two jobs,” I said, trying to make conversation.

“A little. It’s just for two months though. It’s actually been kind of fun.”

When we got to Val’s car it had a flat tire. “Shit,” she cursed. “I don’t have time for this today.”

“A flat tire? Piece of cake,” said Brian. “Give me your keys and I’ll take care of it.”

Val gave him the keys and made a face at me. The “I still don’t know why you dumped such a nice guy” expression.

I set my bags down while he worked. Val anxiously looked at her watch. “I’m going to be cutting it close if I drop you at home first.”

Brian finished his work and tossed the flat tire into her trunk and closed it. “I can drop Sam at home if that helps. She’s not out of my way.”

Val gave me a pleading look, one that I couldn’t deny. “Do you mind?”

I didn’t want to do it, but she hadn’t been on a date in a while. She needed this night. “No. I don’t mind.”

With that Val grabbed her bags and hopped in her car and Brian and I walked to his.

The ride to my place was awfully quiet, so I decided to say something. “So, how’s work?” I asked.

“Which one?” he smiled.

“Either.”

“The kids are a challenge but I enjoy working with them. I’m still getting used to the mall job, though. Working retail is a lot harder that it looks.”

“I can imagine.”

“How’s everything with your boyfriend? He seemed pretty cool.”

I knew he didn’t think Greg was cool. His smirk and comment the night of the club made that very apparent. “He’s fine,” I lied.

We pulled up to my apartment. “Do you mind if I use your restroom to clean up before taking off? Changing a tire is a dirty job.”

“No problem,” I said. “Come on in.”

I hung up my coat and set my bags down. When Brian came out of the bathroom he said, “I don’t know what’s up. But I’m not feeling so hot.”

I looked at him. “What’s going on?”

“I feel a little woozy.”

I pulled out a kitchen chair and offered it to him. “Maybe you’ve just been working too hard. Rest for a little bit.” I went to the fridge and poured him a glass of water.

“Thanks,” he said.

After he finished drinking the water he smiled at me. “You look more beautiful than when we dated.”

“Thanks,” I said.

“That Greg is a lucky guy. Luckier than I am,” he pouted.

I laughed. “Something tells me you don’t have any trouble getting women.”

“The only one I have trouble with is the one that got away.” His expression was sincere, and for a moment old feelings resurfaced. Being away from Greg had made me sexually deprived, and Brian still looked pretty good.

As if he read my mind, he scooted his chair closer and took hold of my hand. “I still love you Sam. I always have.”

I sighed. “I’m sorry Brian. You were a great boyfriend, you really were. But I’m in love with Greg.”

He released my hand, let out a deep breath and stood. “Well, it was worth a shot. I better get going then.”

I walked him to the door. Then I realized I’d forgotten my shopping bags in his car and ran out to get them. He gave me a big hug. “Happy Holidays Sam. It was nice seeing you again.”

“You too,” I replied.

As the words came out of my mouth I could’ve swore I saw Greg drive by. I squinted to try and read the plates, but it was too dark. Then the car disappeared into the night.

On Christmas Eve the doorbell rang. I’d been wrapping gifts and wasn’t expecting anyone. I thought maybe it was Tabby since she’d just returned from college and was staying at our parent’s house. I ran over and checked the peephole.

I opened the door. “Mr. Varo,” I said, in a friendly yet professional tone. “What a nice surprise.”

His eyes met mine and he could see the pain I tried to hide. “May I come in Sam? I’d like to talk to you.”

“Of course.”

I invited him in, and once he stepped inside, I let my guard down. He wasn’t the one who’d hurt me.

We walked to the sofa and sat down.

“Sam. I feel terrible about what happened between you and Greg. I’ve wanted to come over here and talk to you since he told me, but he asked me not to.”

I exhaled. I feared he’d say something far worse, like Greg was dead or he didn’t want to be with me anymore. “I feel terrible too,” I said. “Things were going so well.”

He looked me in the eye. “I want you to know I had no idea Greg was still married to Allison. I thought they’d gotten divorced.” He shook his head in confusion. “I mean, we never had a discussion about it, I just assumed.”

“I understand.”

Mr. Varo rubbed his face, which looked drained of energy. “You know that boy is broken up. He’s completely devastated over this. Been miserable ever since he came home from the trip.”

“Me too,” I said in a low voice.

“I never would’ve tried fixing the two of you up if I had known he was still married.”

“I don’t blame you.”

“Thanks for saying that Sam. I’ve been worried you thought I was a dishonorable man.” He quickly added, “Not that Greg is. He just went about things all wrong, but that doesn’t make him a cad.”

“I know.”

Mr. Varo looked like he wasn’t sure what to say next.

“So how have you been feeling?” I asked him. “How is your foot?”

He smiled. “Foot’s great. I’ve been sticking to the diet and following all instructions to keep it under control. Thanks for all your help.” He paused, looked me in the eye and said, “I hope to have you around again soon, not as my nurse, but as my daughter-in-law.”

My eyes got watery. “I hope so too.”

With that Mr. Varo stood. “I don’t want to keep you. Looks like you’re busy wrapping gifts.”

“I’m a bit of a last minute Larry.”

“Merry Christmas Sam.” He smiled and gave me a hug. Then he reached into his coat pocket and handed me an envelope. “Greg asked me to give you this.”

“Thanks,” I said, taking it from him. “And Merry Christmas.”

When he left I sat down on the couch. As I opened the letter my hands trembled and my mouth dried up.

Samantha,

I’m so sorry I screwed things up. I wanted to tell you I was married so many times, but I was afraid you’d get upset and break up with me. And yeah, I know how stupid that sounds now. I should have been honest with you. And after all I said to you about sharing your honest feelings with me. I was a total hypocrite.

I thought about putting off the proposal until after the divorce went through, but I didn’t want to miss the opportunity to ask you on the ferry. I was just so excited to do that, you know? I had always envisioned proposing that way, ever since I took a ride to the island with my dad on the last trip and saw how beautiful it was.

I really thought the divorce would be taken care of long ago and that it would never be an issue. That was foolish of me. And not telling you was just plain stupid. I never meant to hurt you Sam. I love you with all of my heart.

I just got word that the divorce will be final on January 2
^nd
. I know you said we couldn’t see each other until then, but if you can find it in your heart to forgive me, I would love to spend Christmas with you.

I miss you,

Greg

When I finished reading the letter I set it down and sighed. I missed him too. So much. The beginning of the year was only a week away, and there was no point in ruining the holidays by being stubborn.

I mulled over what to do as I wrapped the remaining gifts. Then, as I put the last piece of tape on Tabby’s present, I made a decision.

I grabbed my phone and dialed Greg. It was kind of late, but I was sure he’d be up.

“Hello,” he answered, sounding a bit frightened.

“Hey,” I said in a soft voice. “Merry Christmas.”

Greg was silent for a few seconds, then I heard crying. “Merry Christmas Sam,” he said through heavy tears. “I’m glad you called.”

Hearing him sob shook me to my core. “I’ve wanted to call,” I admitted, “but I was afraid of getting hurt.”

“I understand. You had every right to be angry.” His voice cracked as he spoke. “The thought of you being hurt kills me, and knowing I caused it, well…it’s unbearable. I wish I would’ve been honest with you from the beginning.”

“We can’t go back in time Greg. All we can do is try to pick up where we left off. I know you’re sorry, and I accept your apology.”

“Oh Sam. Thank you.” He was quiet for a few moments. When he spoke again, his voice was stronger, more confident. “I miss you so much. Would it be okay if I came over?”

“Right now?” I looked at the time on the DVD player. It was almost midnight.

“Yeah. If it’s okay with you.”

I must have sighed out loud.

“What is it, Sam? If you don’t want me to come over, I can wait. I’ll wait as long as I have to…”

“Greg, it’s fine. I want you to come over. I’ve accepted your apology and I’m done being stubborn.”

“Okay. I’m already heading out the door. See you soon.”

I hung up and smiled. I couldn’t think of anything I wanted more for Christmas.

When I heard the doorbell ring my heart skipped like it had on our first date. I rushed to open it. Then our eyes met and he took me in his arms. “It feels so good to hold you again,” he whispered.

I buried my face in his chest. “Feels good to be held,” I whispered back.

After inhaling his scent, I lifted my chin so we were face to face. His eyes radiated so much love it brought tears to mine. I thought he was going to say something, but instead he kissed me. A slow, soft kiss that said everything.

When our lips pulled apart he rubbed his nose against mine. “Your nose is cold,” I said. “And you’ve got snowflakes on your coat.”

He smiled. “At least we’re going to have a white Christmas.”

“C’mon,” I said. “I’ll make us some tea.”

He took off his coat and followed me to the kitchen. His eyes followed my every move, and when I gave him his cup he continued staring. Not in that sexual, observing me like a specimen way, but in a tender fashion.

The message was loud and clear. He would never hurt me like that again.

We sipped our tea and sat opposite each other in silence. It wasn’t uncomfortable though. It was more of a wordless reconnecting. Within a few minutes I smiled.

“What are you thinking?” he asked.

“I’m thinking of the day we first met. How funny you looked wearing your pajamas and the pink robe.”

He grinned. “I was lost in thought until you showed up. Then your beauty distracted me.”

“Well your masculine prowess disrupted a perfectly good night’s sleep. It doesn’t get any more distracting than that,” I teased.

Greg checked his watch. “It’s late. Should I go?” The look on his face made it clear he didn’t want to leave.

I shook my head no, then reached for his hand and led him to the bedroom. We changed into pajamas and climbed into bed and snuggled as close to each other as possible and fell asleep.

When I woke in his arms the next morning, I felt whole again. My world was balanced and the sinking feeling was gone. I lay there, enjoying the moment, until he stirred.

“Morning,” he said when I turned to face him.

“Good morning.”

He gave me a peck on the lips, then he rubbed his eyes and yawned.

“There’s something I need to tell you,” I said.

He propped his head on one elbow and waited.

 “My mom and Tabby are the only ones who know we were apart. We never told my dad. I’ve just been saying you’re busy at work when he asks where you’ve been.”

“Oh God. Thanks Sam. I’ve been worried sick about what to say to them, especially your dad.” He looked embarrassed. “I’ll bet your mom and sister hate me.”

“They don’t hate you. In fact, Tabby was the one who suggested I give you a call.” I broke eye contact and looked down. “It was me who was being stubborn.”

“I understand,” he said.

My eyes met his and he gave me a questioning look. “Are we still engaged Sam? I don’t want to presume.”

I nodded yes, then he smiled and jumped out of bed. “Hold on,” he said. “I’ll be right back.”

When he returned he had the velvet box in his hand. He popped it open and said, “May I return this to its rightful owner?”

 I held out my left hand and watched as he slid the ring on my finger. I smiled, turning my hand from left to right, admiring it. Then I looked up at him. His eyes burned with desire. And seeing them brought back the woman I was with him, the woman who could never get enough.

Instinctively, I climbed onto his lap. He was already rock hard, and within moments he peeled my panties off and I slid on top him. Feeling him inside me made me crazed. I had missed him so much I came multiple times in the first ten minutes. I wanted to ride him all day long.

“We have to get ready to go soon,” I complained. “But I want more. I want you on me.”

Greg got on top and began thrusting forcefully, making me scream with pleasure until he eventually came. Afterward he lay next to me, staring into my eyes. His were filled with so many things: adoration, regret, happiness.

“I love you so much Sam.”

I beamed at him. “I love you too.”