My Dream Man (22 page)

Jeremy,

I wish I could go back in time knowing what I know now and change things. I would have done everything differently. I never meant to hurt you or the kids. You’re my life. But I know that’s what I’ve done. I can never fully express how sorry I am.

You were a good husband. I hope one day you will forgive me. I pray when I get out you will give me another chance. Even if it’s just to be your friend. We’ll be old then. I’ll be almost sixty and you’ll be sixty-five. The kids will be adults.

I’m sad I am missing out on their lives. Will you please ask them to write me? I’m still their mother.

Kristen

*****

The next afternoon Lakeisha was going through the outgoing mail and saw the letter. After reading it and getting it ready for delivery she wondered what would happen. It seemed unlikely she’d end up getting her wish, but when a person was locked up for as long as she was it was good to have something to hope for.

This got her thinking about her own life. She’d majored in English and hoped to get a job in book publishing, as an editor or proofreader. She had been willing to start at the bottom as an intern and work her way up, do whatever it took, but after graduation she didn’t have any luck. She was passed over for every position she applied to. Reading prison mail wasn’t exactly what she’d had in mind when she envisioned a literary career, but the pay was decent and the benefits were good. And since she and her husband were trying to get pregnant, she figured it was as good a day job as any.

But there was one thing Lakeisha didn’t like about her job: when women who’d been released committed another crime and got sent back to prison. A surprising number, fifty percent of offenders, ended up back in the slammer. The lure of the old lifestyle, combined with the very unlikely chance of getting a job, prompted many convicted felons to do something illegal in order to survive. It was a vicious cycle that no one seemed to know how to fix.

And there was always the issue of not being comfortable back on the outside. For better or worse, fellow inmates became a prisoner’s new family after their original one moved on. They felt safer in the presence of other inmates, where they knew their place in the small tight-knit society. Lakeisha had heard more than a few stories about women purposely doing something wrong after release so they would be sent back. So they could go “home.”

She hated when that was the case. Lakeisha wished each one would leave empowered and start life anew, finding whatever it was they’d wanted to do or become and forging a path in that direction.

She hoped to never see any of them again.

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