My Blue River (20 page)

“I disagree.”

“Too bad because I’m right. Someday you’ll thank me.”

Jack forced a smile and didn’t say another word. We simply turned and walked in silence back to the house. Just when I thought he was giving me the last word, he stopped walking.

“Wait,” he said.

“Wait? Why?”

“I need to tell you something.”

We turned to face one another. He put his hands on my hips and pulled me close to him and I didn’t resist, not even for a second.

“Addy, I’ll let it go and I’ll settle for friendship, but you need to know that I feel more than that for you.” He leaned in a little closer to me and ever so softly said, “I feel much, much more than friendship.”

We were standing so close to one another our lips easily could have kissed. A passionate birthday kiss from Jack would have been nice,
really nice
. My heart began to race and just at that moment, he released me. He smiled as he slowly let go, seemingly very pleased with himself. My mouth felt like it was suspended in mid-air, waiting for a kiss that wasn’t going to happen. I must have looked pathetic as I blushed and looked away.

“Happy birthday, Addy.” As he stepped back he handed me a small, pink velvet box.

Tentative and uncertain seemed to be tonight’s theme, which was exactly how I opened the box, in which I found unique and beautiful opal earrings.

“My birthstone! They’re beautiful. Thanks, Jack. You shouldn’t have!” I exclaimed.

“Of course I should have. You’re my
friend,
right?” He was sincere, yet there was an edge to his voice but I dismissed it.
Why argue? It’s my birthday.

I gave a lopsided smile and replied, “Yeah, we’re friends, Jack. I have a feeling we’ll be life-long friends.”

He leaned in for a hug, seemingly uncertain how I would respond, but of course I hugged him back. I was dying to be in his arms. While we were embracing, he apologized for not being able to stay for cake and ice cream, saying he had made a prior commitment to do something for his dad.
Typical Jack—he’s always doing something for someone other than himself
.

He started to leave then stopped to ask, “Can I take you somewhere tomorrow?”

I smiled and didn’t ask for more details. He had yet to disappoint me and the gentle tug in my heart said he would always be that someone I never forgot. “Sure,” I answered.

He let me know what time I should be ready and that I should wear hiking boots, which was the one pair of shoes I didn’t own.

When I returned to my birthday party, I found everyone patiently awaiting my return to the table. Claire was rolling her eyes at Aaron, who I assumed had just made a stupid joke that fell short of being funny.

“Jack can’t stay?” asked Dad.

“Uh, no he said he couldn’t stay. He’s doing something for his dad.”

“Oh, well, that’s too bad. I’m sure he would have enjoyed dismantling your cake,” said Dad.

“I actually didn’t expect to see him today so it’s okay. I thought he was off hunting or something lame like that.” I shot a glance in Claire’s direction, hoping her expression would reveal a clue, but it didn’t. She looked just as surprised as I was that he was in town.

“Well, are we ready for cake?” asked Dad. His smile was impish, like he had a special secret he simply couldn’t keep to himself any longer. He could hardly contain himself as Mom left for the kitchen to retrieve my cake.

The group didn’t bother to wait for my response and the off-key singing began again. Mom stepped slowly from the kitchen holding an enormous cake shaped like a castle. It was pink with cornflower blue spire rooftops. The door was an archway of chocolate, with tiny marks that made it look like actual wood. True to my love of California and Disneyland, it very much resembled Sleeping Beauty’s Castle. I knew it had to be my dad’s idea, which was confirmed when he put his arm around my shoulder and said, “You may be eighteen, but you’ll always be Daddy’s little princess.”

What Dad said to me made Mom and Claire smile while Aaron snorted and rolled his eyes, but in the end, a smile stole his lips. I couldn’t help the tears that welled in my eyes and the lump that formed in my throat. I made my wish and blew out eighteen candles and just like every other thought that had dominated my mind over the last several months, my wish was about Jack.

18. The Falls

“Are those what you call hiking boots?” asked Jack.

Amazingly, it was the first thing Jack said when he saw me. He didn’t say, “Good morning,” or “How are you?” or “How does it feel to be eighteen?” He simply asked, “Are those what you call hiking boots?” I shook my head and laughed. Ironically, that actually amused me.

“Hey, respect your elders and yes, they’re all I have. They’re running shoes.” I replied. “Sorry.”

“I thought fancy girls like you owned every possible pair of shoes.”

“I know, right? But sadly, no, I don’t own hiking boots. These will have to do. Does it help you to know they were expensive?”

“No, that doesn’t help. I’ll have to scale back my hiking plans. I guess they’ll do. By the way, my birthday isn’t far behind yours so I wouldn’t say you’re my elder. Besides, I’m more mature and that counts for something.”

I jokingly scoffed but in all reality, I knew Jack really was more mature. I wanted to respond with a clever quip, but made the mistake of looking into his face; I flushed and stammered. I hated what he did to me without him knowing he did it.

“Yeah, well, I—you—I am,” I lost my resolve and gave up, “Yeah, I got nothin’. You win.”

“Whoa! I win? I never win!” He smiled in satisfaction. “What’s up with that?” he asked rhetorically.

Our entire conversation was all in fun and we both burst into laughter. I loved our witty banter and today, he was at the top of his game. Then again, it usually was a challenge to get one over on him. I think besides his glorious face, his gorgeous, thoughtful eyes, his humor was my favorite thing about him.
I’m so glad that awkward feeling is gone
.

We climbed in his Jeep and as usual, he didn’t fill me in on the day’s plan. At least this time, he didn’t bring a blindfold.

“So, what did you get for your birthday?” asked Jack.

“Aaron gave me the new Imagine Dragons CD, my parents gave me a new lens for my camera and Claire coordinated with my parents and gave me a book about photography.”

“Awesome.”

“Oh, and of course, I got these,” I pointed to my ears, which were adorned with the opal earrings. “They’re so beautiful, Jack. Seriously. They’re so unique, too. I can’t imagine where you found them.”

He smiled, making a quick glance in my direction. “I’m glad you like them.”

I knew he was truly happy I had responded so favorably to his gift.
How could I not?
They were beautiful and they were from Jack and I knew I would keep them forever as a way to remember him.

We rode in silence for a while—each a little lost in our own thought—until Jack broke it by saying, “I think you’re going to like hiking today.”

“Really? Why is that?”

“Just a hunch.”

“Well then, I can’t wait. I’m ready for whatever awaits me,” I declared as I held up my camera.

In all honestly, I really was curious about Jack’s plans. His words definitely piqued my interest. I knew it involved hiking and not being a very athletic person, I was a bit nervous about that part. I couldn’t help but wonder if he had something else up his sleeve.

We passed a sign that read
Acker’s Canyon
. Thirty minutes later we arrived at a parking lot. Jack began to unload two backpacks that contained water and some form of trail mix. I resisted making a face.
I hate hippy food
. I tied a jacket at my waist and shrugged a backpack on to my body.

“I’m not going to last long,” I grumbled.

“Sure you will…a tough girl like you?”

“What makes you think I’m tough? And why are you trying to torture me? I may be thin, but I’m not toned in the least. There is no muscle on this body, my friend. No muscle. Athletic and Addy never come in the same sentence.” I laughed at my admission.

“You’ll be fine.” He patted the backpack on my back. “I really want to share this with you. I know how much you love taking pictures and trust me, this will not disappoint you.”

“Okay, but when you’re carrying me back down this mountain, you’ll regret how far you pushed me.”

His eyes danced with delight. Whether it was the idea of carrying me or the fact that he would see me give up, I couldn’t be sure; either way, he seemed pleased with himself.

We began climbing a trail with a sign indicating it would lead to Castle Peak Falls. I was managing to hike much better than I anticipated. I guessed the natural adrenaline rush of being with Jack was helping. It was either that or my determination that hiking would not be my epic fail.

When we rounded a bend in the trail twenty minutes later, it wasn’t the hike that took my breath away but rather the amazing sight that a Montana autumn could offer. I thought the Aspen at The Beach were beautiful, but they were nothing compared to what lay before me now.

Ordinarily, I would consider a color palate of deep forest green in combination with gold and orange something of the seventies that should be banned for life, but this was a beautiful, jaw—dropping sight. The enormous pine trees were varying shades of green. The Aspen trees offered more variety than at The Beach, with vast amounts of gold, red, and orange. They carpeted each side of the canyon. When the wind blew, the leaves appeared to shimmer. I stopped dead in my tracks, and moments later, Jack finally realized I wasn’t moving.
Or had he?
Because when I looked at him, he too held a camera and was taking pictures of me.

“What…are…you…doing?” I asked incredulously.

“I had to capture this moment. I knew you would be speechless and since that doesn’t happen very often, I had to memorialize it.” He chuckled, pleased with his joke.

“Since what doesn’t happen very often?”

“Addy Davis being speechless is what doesn’t happen very often!”

I made a face then smiled. I started taking pictures and said, “You are so right.” I turned around, and around, taking it all in, looking at every angle and direction of this beautiful canyon.

“That and…” He paused. “I can’t help it, I like beautiful pictures.”

I cocked my head to one side.
Why does he always have to be so charming and adorable?
Before he had time to think, I brought my camera up to capture an image of him, as well.

“What’s that about?”

“Well,
I
like
silly
pictures.” I jested.

He laughed and replied, “You’re so bad, Adelaide.”

“I’m so bad I’m good, Jackson.” I took several photos; it felt like a photo shoot for an outdoor magazine. It was an amazing feeling. I glanced at Jack then quickly went back to work capturing the magic with my camera.

He had opened his mouth to speak then snapped his jaw shut. He displayed a deeply mischievous grin. I could only imagine what he had been thinking. I turned back to Jack. Simultaneously, we began taking steps toward each other. When we met in the middle, we merely stared into each other’s eyes.
Was this the moment? Was this how we would share our first kiss? When had I even determined there would ever even be a first kiss shared between us?

My skin began to prickle and I felt a surge of blood course through my veins as he stopped just in front of me. His eyes searched mine.
Was he looking for confirmation that I wanted him to touch me? To kiss me?
He held out his hand and I took it. He pulled me a step closer, leaned in and said, “You have a gigantic leaf in your hair.” He raised his hand, removing a big, brown leaf.

I felt foolish. I had actually thought about abandoning my laws of logic and engaging in a romantic kiss, but all he had seen was a leaf in my hair.

I said, “Oh, geez, thanks for getting that out. I must’ve looked like an idiot.”

“Not any more than usual,” he laughed. “I’m just teasin’ ya.”

“Ha. Ha. Very funny,” I retorted.

We were still standing in very close proximity to each other. Jack admitted, “There’s actually something I want to tell you.”

“Really?” My heart began to thump again at the possibilities of his next words. I sucked in a breath and held it.

“This is just the beginning.” He didn’t appear to be waiting for a response. “There’s plenty more to see up here.” He pointed in the direction of the highest peak in the valley.

I let out the breath I had been holding and my heart deflated.

“Oh.” I hoped my face didn’t bare an expression of disappointment. “Great!” I attempted to sound excited, masking what I really felt. “More to see…that’s…great.”

We turned and continued hiking through the canyon, admiring the Aspen and Pine trees along the way, enjoying the fresh smell of mountain air, enjoying the view. I particularly enjoyed my view, as Jack led the way. I smiled in spite of myself. We hiked in silence, which was a blessing. I needed to sort out my feelings.
Why did I want him to kiss me so badly? What am I feeling? Why did I dare to allow myself near these thoughts or feelings? Am I normal?
The same conflict played out in my mind:
It’s far too dangerous. I’ll get hurt. I’m leaving Blue River
. I had to leave—it was my destiny. But had destiny brought Jack into my life, too? Just as I was hiking a path to Castle Peak Falls, was there also a path laid out long ago that would lead me to Jack? Was I now on that path? But I knew there couldn’t possibly be a long-term union between Jack and I?
Unless there could be? I’m losing my mind!

Before long, we had reached the top of the trail to Castle Peak Falls. It was a magnificent view. I envied the owners of the few homes that had been built up here. The roof tops barely poked above the Pine trees. Each chimney had a trickle of rising smoke. It had become chilly enough for a fire, and I shivered at the realization. I struggled to remove the backpack and soon felt Jack’s hand on my shoulder.

“Here, let me get that for you,” he offered.

“Okay. Thanks.”

I shrugged my shoulders into the jacket I had tied at my waist.

“You’re cold?” He smirked at what seemed like a biological imperfection to a Montana cowboy.

“I am. Thin blood, remember?”

He laughed and shook his head as if feeling cold was unrealistic. He was nowhere near cold, nor had he even broken a sweat on the climb, and now at a standstill, he didn’t seem to feel the slightest chill.

Over the last few hundred feet of the trail I thought I had been hearing wind blow through the canyon, but now came to realize it was the sound of rushing water.

“Addy, over here.” Jack summoned me in his direction. His smile told me he was again about to make another big reveal.

I moved to where he stood and discovered a massive waterfall. As the water hit the base, it became a huge cloud of white foam. I had never seen a waterfall like this before. It was an amazing sight.
This day just keeps getting better
. As we stood gazing over the edge near the waterfall Jack said, “Addy, I’m sorry. I’ve been a total jerk lately.”

My head snapped in his direction. I was briefly taken aback by his apology. It seemed a little out of place and was definitely unexpected. I considered my words. If I were true to myself, I would admit I, too, had been less than nice. My behavior had been that of the little girl who hits a boy with a rock because in all reality, she likes him.
I am a little girl wanting this boy’s attention
. I was almost embarrassed of my actions. I had wondered for weeks why I had
really
accepted Mac’s offer to the homecoming dance.
Did I want to avoid Jack or did I in fact want to make him jealous?
I reasoned it over and over that it was best to keep my relationship with Jack strictly on a friendship basis but standing here right now, right here in this moment, they all seemed like really lame excuses.