My Blue River (22 page)

I wonder when she’ll get real with me—no—better yet, get real with herself. I know she feels everything that I do. I know that she thinks of herself as my girlfriend and if she’d be honest with herself, she would call me her boyfriend.

God help me, but I’m falling in love with this crazy, stubborn girl.

********

On a freezing cold, mid-December day, Sheridan arrived from Southern California. Her over-bleached hair blazed like the sun and flew wildly in the air as she ran toward us at the baggage claim. Everything about her screamed “Hollywood” or at the very least, “A Hollywood Wannabe.” She and I embraced, jumping up and down like we were little girls again.

“How was your flight, Sheridan?” asked Mom.

“Fine, Mrs. Davis. Again, thank you for letting me come to Montana,” Sheridan replied.

“You are welcome anytime,” Dad added.

“Hi, Sheridan,” Aaron gushed. He had always had a crush on her, which was completely ridiculous since he would never be in her league.

“Hey, twerp,” she replied as she ruffled the top of his head as if he were the family pet. I exchanged a glance with Aaron and mouthed, “I’m sorry.” I realized in that moment I hadn’t told her about the no-nickname pact Aaron and I shared.

Sheridan flung her arm around my shoulders, and whispered in my ear. “I can’t wait to stir things up in your little, what did you call it? One horse town? This should be fun!” She was giddy with excitement but I suddenly felt a pang of guilt. I should have let her know I cared more about my new friends than I had let on in our texts, emails, and phone calls. We had talked about Jack, but I hadn’t really expressed my level of commitment to him. It didn’t really hit me until this exact moment she wasn’t fully aware of anything I was thinking or feeling about Blue River and its people.

On the ride to our home, Sheridan prattled on about what had been happening in California and filled my parents in on all the friends they had once had. I noticed a slight grimace on my dad’s face which I found to be confusing. When we reached our driveway, Sheridan’s gaping expression revealed she was amazed, if not completely impressed, at how large and beautiful everything was—the house, the yard, the mountains, the trees, the river—everything had exceeded her expectations and she was seeing it in its winter wonderland form. I, too, had to concede this was a crazy beautiful place.

********

When Jack arrived the next morning for our ski trip, I could tell he, too, had exceeded her expectations. She turned on the sexy as fast as you could say, “Jack.” Her voice was sticky sweet. Jealousy reared its ugly head and I suddenly got a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach that told me things were going to go horribly wrong today.

“So, you’re, Jack,” she stated. She caressed the back side of his hand as she shook it.

Jack’s eyebrows arched, “Oh, you’ve heard of me?” He shot a surprised look in my direction.

“Oh, yes, Addy says you’re one of her best friends in Blue River.” Sheridan was standing so close to Jack, she probably now smelled like his cologne. She turned around to look at me and mouthed, “Wow!” She was not only impressed but very attracted to Jack. In a matter of just a few minutes, she thought he was as adorable as I did.

“Best
friend
, huh?” He looked around her at me with a look of pure irritation. “That’s nice… nice to know.” He was being sarcastic and never broke his gaze from my eyes until I looked away in shame.

“Oh, yes. She says you’re a lot of fun. You’re helping make her time in Blue River less painful, I think that’s how she put it.” She turned around and look at me asked, “Is painful the word you used, Addy? I just can’t seem to remember.” She didn’t even bother to hear my response and in all honesty, I didn’t know if I had ever described Blue River as painful, but I probably did, which only added to the shame I felt for hurting Jack. Her demeaning tone began to grate on my nerves.

I wanted to put a gag in her mouth and make her stop talking. I was seething and couldn’t help but find myself feeling angry. I knew I had to let it go. After all, I had told Jack I wanted to be casual yet committed and Sheridan was only here for a few days.
Thank God her parents want her back for Christmas
. I now knew I wouldn’t be able to handle very many hours of Sheridan’s antics, let only days.
Oh, how time and space can change a relationship.

I had forgotten what it was like to be around her. She was a compulsive flirt and I had to remind myself this was the Sheridan I knew and loved and after all, I had invited her. She would flirt but it was harmless. She wouldn’t pursue Jack with any level of serious intention. This was all just a game to her and I just needed to re-adjust my thinking. I needed time to get used to what it feels like to be around her and watch her in action. I told myself over and over, putting Jack and Sheridan in the same room was going to be fine.

We finally got around to loading the cars as we received the final reminder to be careful from my parents. We said our good-byes and left to gather our “snow bunnies” at The Barn. After a few deep breaths, my pulse had restored itself to a normal beat. We were there before I was ready to invite Sheridan into my new friend’s worlds, but I had to start at some point. I introduced her to Zeek, Sallie, Mimi, Mac, Claire, and Ethan. For once, Claire had convinced Ethan to do something with her friends. Sheridan poured on the charm. Watching her performance made me wonder if I, too, had once appeared this fake. It was like looking into a mirror and finding a really disturbing image. I almost felt embarrassed to call her my best friend.

Mac and Zeek didn’t mind anything at all about her. They were both falling over themselves trying to impress her. When I asked who would be riding in Rover with Sheridan and I, Mac and Zeek ran as hard as they could to find a spot in the back, which, to their disappointment, was already occupied by Sallie and Mimi.

“Guess we’ll ride with Coop,” said Zeek, clearly disappointed.

“Guess so. Sorry, guys,” I offered. I genuinely almost felt sorry for them. They looked like dejected little boys. It made me realize how glad I was Mac didn’t hold a grudge about homecoming or my relationship with Jack. I remembered the first time he saw me and Jack holding hands at The Barn. He walked up and said, “Well, I guess I knew this would happen. Congrats, Jack.”

Mac and Zeek found a ride in Jack’s Jeep. Ethan and Claire rode in Ethan’s Ford pickup truck. They had decided to spend the night in a room at the lodge. That was an entirely different matter that concerned me. I made a mental note to discuss that with Claire on another day.

“Let’s motor, people!” yelled Mac.

Jack walked me over to Rover, touching my hand and stopping me before I got in. “Remember what I taught you about driving in snow, okay?”

“I got it. Don’t worry.”

“I do worry. Be careful.”

“You, too.”

I tip-toed up for a kiss, but he pulled back and walked away to his Jeep. I knew immediately Sheridan’s words hit the same nerve I had been hitting over and over again, only it was no longer the “just friends” nerve, it was the “boyfriend or not” nerve.
It’s amazing he puts up with me.

Knowing Jack was upset made it hard to keep my mind on the road. I managed to make the one-hour drive to the ski resort turn into a two-hour nail-biter. Sallie and Mimi were very patient with me, chalking it all up to me being an inexperienced snow driver. They kept giving me encouraging words like, “You’re doing great, Addy.” Making matters worse was listening to Sheridan ramble on about her glorious California lifestyle. I stole a glance at Sallie in the mirror. She was rolling her eyes and sticking one finger in her mouth. I chuckled slightly, which Sheridan didn’t even notice.
I swear, she didn’t even stop talking to take a breath.

What has happened to me?
Just weeks ago, I idolized Sheridan. She was everything I had wanted to be. As I watched her, I felt like I didn’t know who she was.
Has she changed or have I?
This trip was meant to be fun and exciting and now I could only feel frustration and confusion. It seemed I had fallen into some type of self-awareness exercise that my mom might have constructed.

Once we arrived at the ski resort, I was met with a few jokes from Mac and Zeek about my driving—“We all aged ten years just trying to get here,” and “Geez, Addy we pulled off and ate breakfast, lunch, and dinner waiting for you.” Jack escorted us to the ski rental department, where Sheridan continued to demand his attention. I swallowed hard, holding back my desire to tell her to back off, but I couldn’t bring myself to say it.

“And how are the skis? Are they the right length?” Sheridan turned around and shoved her butt in his face, which very nearly made me vomit.

He ignored her extremely sculpted buns. “Yep. I think you’re ready. Hey, will you excuse me a minute? I want to help, Addy.”

She reluctantly nodded in agreement as he walked over to me. The ski resort employee had already helped me, however, so I bit my lip and prayed I wouldn’t snap at him.

“I got it. Thanks. Dusty helped me,” I responded before he even had a chance to ask how I was doing.

His brows furrowed. “Dusty? Who’s Dusty?”

“Dusty, the employee.” I pointed in his direction and he waved back with a huge smile as if we had exchanged phone numbers and would hook up later. “He was really nice and helped me. I’m all set.” I tried to sound perky and unbothered by this incredibly emotional mess I had created for myself, but Jack wasn’t buying my act.

He placed one finger on my chin and turned my face in his direction. “You, okay?”

“Yep. Just jiffy.”

“Jiffy? When have you ever used a word like jiffy?”

“Um…just now I guess. It’s all good, Jack. Can we please just go? We wouldn’t want to keep Sheridan waiting. I feel like I’m the host, know what I mean?”

He furrowed his brows again in suspicion, but he knew me and guessed I was upset enough that he’d better let it go. “Yeah, yeah, I do. I understand,” he replied.

Everyone else in our party were pros at skiing and since they had used up their patience to endure the ride to the lodge, they decided to go on their separate ways. Jack took Sheridan and I to the less challenging area called “bunny hills.” These slopes were not steep and designed especially for children and beginner skiers. In just an hour, we were surprised to find we had mastered the bunny hill and decided to brave the larger slopes.

I hadn’t anticipated how nerve-wracking getting on the ski lift would be. As my chair approached, I felt myself panic. I wished Jack was at my side, but Sheridan had played up her fear so I told him to ride the lift with her. I even referred to it as a personal favor.
Blech. I make myself sick
. I was stuck with some kid about Aaron’s age who had a drippy nose. He kept trying to make conversation and sniff up his boogers at the same time. I gave polite one- or two-word responses and prayed for the ride to end. When I reached the top, I saw Sheridan adjusting Jack’s ski cap. I let out a heavy sigh.
This is going to be a very, very long day.

I was distracted by looking at Sheridan touching Jack, misjudged my movements and the minute I left the chair, I fell to the ground. Jack immediately rushed to me.

“Hurry. You’ll get run over,” he urged as he pulled me to my feet and safely out of the way of exiting skiers. He put his arm around my waist. I wanted him to keep his arm there, but as soon as we were clear of the lift, he removed it and everyone started to talk about what trail we should take and who could handle what slopes since there were some novice skiers in the group.

“Well, whatever you think, Jack. I can tell you’re the expert,” said Sheridan as she caressed his arm. I opened my mouth to speak then snapped it shut.

We heard Claire holler, “Wait up!” She and Ethan were about to get off the lift.

“How’s it goin’?” asked Claire. She was full of excitement having this entire day with Ethan not to mention whatever their evening plans were. I cringed at the thought they would do something stupid.

“Fine,” I replied, but my curt, cold tone caused Claire’s head to snap in my direction. She immediately knew things were in fact NOT fine.