My Blue River (39 page)

“
HELP!
”
I screamed so loud I thought my lungs might burst.

Harrison smirked. “There’s nobody on this whole floor to hear you, little girl. What are ya goin’ do now?”

BAM!

The door flew open and Harrison was flung off my body with violent force. I was blinded with fear and hysteria. I couldn’t see anything or anyone. I blinked rapidly, hoping to restore my vision. All could hear was the sounds of grunting and punching.

I shuddered from the shock, fear, and confusion.
Am I really seeing Jack? I must be hallucinating.
I looked around the room and my eyes fell on my dad’s grief-stricken face. He was a day early and he brought Jack. It was nearly poetic that the two men I loved most in life were my heroes tonight.

Dad was trying to wedge himself between Harrison and Jack. He broke the fight up, but not before Jack connected with Harrison’s face and stomach a number of times. Harrison escaped Jack’s hold and ran at full speed from the room, holding his ribs.

My dad turned to hold me in his arms while I sobbed, but I knew the hand stroking my hair was Jack’s. I looked up and he reached for me. Dad relented, handing me over to Jack. I sobbed uncontrollably.

“If you’ll excuse me, I have some calls to make—the police, campus security—I’ll be in the hallway,” said Dad as he fished his cell from his pocket.

Jack held me back and examined my face. “Are you all right?” His voice was shaky.

“I…I…I think so. I am now. It was all so weird, Jack. One minute Harrison said he just wanted to talk then…then… he just…” I snapped my fingers. I was still trying to figure out how the conversation had gone so terribly wrong then I remembered—I had made it clear Jack was an important part of my life and Harrison didn’t take that news very well, especially in his drunken state.

“I’ll kill him. I swear to God, I’ll kill him,” proclaimed Jack. His body visibly shook with rage.

“I’m fine…seriously, don’t kill him. I couldn’t stand to see you do time. Don’t worry, he didn’t complete…he didn’t get what he wanted,” I assured.

Jack let out a breath of relief and his body relaxed. I reluctantly released from his warm embrace and began to look through my suitcase for a t-shirt. I found a simple, plain blue shirt, put it on and checked myself in the mirror.
I look hideous
. Mascara ran down my cheeks. My hair was tangled in the back and matted on my forehead from the sweat. It had been so surreal. Despite how I thought I had fought back, reality was, Harrison was in complete control. I had greatly underestimated what he was capable of doing to me.

Jack was pacing back and forth when my dad returned to the room. Dad briefed us on his phone calls to the police and campus security.

“You’ll need to make a statement to the police. Date rape is a serious thing, Addy,” said Dad.

I wanted to somehow mask my fear with a sarcastic remark, but realized that this time, sarcasm wasn’t going to help me. Finally, I broke down. I began to whimper. “I feel like this is all my fault.”

“No freakin’ way! Do not say that!” Jack yelled at me and I winced even though I knew he was just scared and frustrated. “There is no way this is your fault! I don’t even need to know the whole story to know this isn’t your fault!”

Dad patted Jack on the back in an effort to calm him down then he reached for me, giving me a tight hug. It was comforting to be in my dad’s arms. He kissed my forehead and recommended we get to the police station as soon as possible.

********

Reliving the incident with a police officer was grueling. I hated picturing each moment, but my dad was right. I needed to report this. Harrison shouldn’t get away with attempted rape. It took hours to complete the paperwork and give statements. Dad and Jack had to give their statements, too. I left the police station with a sense of relief and accomplishment, believing justice would be served. I smiled as I got a visual of Harrison losing everything. I prayed his future in law was over before it had even begun. Jack was right. This wasn’t my fault and I never led Harrison to believe I wanted him. Harrison was an angry, jealous man, who in combination with alcohol, made one very bad decision.

We returned to my dorm room, got my boxes and suitcases then went to a hotel. Jack and Dad shared a room that adjoined with mine but I asked Dad to leave the door between us open. My sleep was disturbed and restless, and I had nightmares about Harrison—nightmares that he had gotten what he wanted and that despite his offer, it still hurt. I woke up screaming. Jack ran to my room with my dad right behind him.

“It’s okay, shhh…I’m here now, it’s okay,” Jack held me close and rubbed my back. “I’m here. I won’t leave. I’ll never leave you.”

I looked over to my dad who was standing in the doorway. He grimaced and seemed to be pondering just how much he would allow. Jack respected my Dad but there was no way he wasn’t going to lie down beside me and offer his comfort. Dad frowned and returned to his bed. I suspected there was no way Dad would tell Jack he couldn’t come to the aid of his daughter.

“Jack, how did you end up here with my dad?” I whispered in the darkness.

He whispered back, “Your dad asked me to come so your mom could stay home with Aaron. I couldn’t resist. He said you wouldn’t mind. He told me you broke up with Harrison and that really, you two hadn’t even been much of a couple.”

“He’s right, too. We weren’t really a couple. Looking back, I know I just needed a friend when I met him. He was totally different in the beginning and then he invited himself to Montana for spring break. No, let me rephrase that…when he and my mom plotted against me.”

“Yeah, Aaron told me the part about your mom. I immediately knew it wasn’t what you wanted.” He gave me a big squeeze. “We were going to stop in Barstow tonight, but I told him I couldn’t stand being that close to you and begged him to drive the rest of the way. I can’t tell you how glad I am we did.”

“Me, too…you have no idea how much.”

“I think I do. It was strange. It was like I
knew
you needed me and the closer we got the more anxious I became. Your dad laughed at me and said I was acting like a little kid at Christmas, but he didn’t understand. I knew you needed me in a very serious way. We’re that connected because… you’re the one true love of my life, Addy.”

My skin prickled in a good way but I couldn’t seem to respond. I didn’t know what to say that wouldn’t confuse our relationship. Clearly, we were unable to have a long-distance relationship, and yet here he was in California, ready to take me back to Montana, lying in the same bed as me, telling me I was the love of his life with me knowing he was mine. I squeezed his arms and he kissed my cheek. I was grateful he didn’t push for a response. Being in his arms made it possible for me to sleep without nightmares. Three hours later, we were awake.

********

After a blood-bath argument, I finally defeated Jack and Dad. We would stay one more day in California before returning to Montana. There was no way I could finally have Jack in California and not show him around my world. I wouldn’t be able to share the entire state with him, but at least I could share parts of my favorite city. I hoped he would find it more fascinating than he could have ever imagined, maybe so much so that he would reconsider moving here in August. I had the entire summer to work on changing his thoughts and rebuilding our relationship.

I was elated that the events of last night seemed to wash away. I didn’t know where to start. Thankfully, my dad said he had some old friends and colleagues he wanted to see. He rented a car and left us Mom’s Mercedes.

“I can’t even think of where to begin, Jack,” I giggled like a little girl.

“It’s good to see you so happy.” He reached over from the passenger’s side and rubbed my shoulder. He only joined my conversation for a moment then became lost in a deep thought.

“What’s going on in that head of yours, Jack?” I asked.

“I just still can’t believe what happened last night. Are you sure you don’t just want to get on the road and get home?”

“A little late now—I already won the argument, remember?”

He shrugged his shoulders.
I’m handling this better than he is!

“I’ve got it!” I exclaimed. “I know just where to start this adventure.” I turned the Mercedes westward. Fifteen minutes later we were at my favorite beach. Today was the day I shared my favorite places with my favorite person. He wouldn’t be able to deny the differences between the Cooper beach and my California beach or be able to deny how mine was better.

We parked and walked the trail that led to the beautiful Pacific Ocean. I could hear the waves crashing into the shore.
I love this sound
. I smiled as I watched him, waiting for his response to his first look at a real beach. I didn’t want to miss a single moment. We walked under an underpass, up a small hill and once we crested the hill, Jack stopped. His eyes opened wide. Watching his response was priceless. I was glad I had thought to grab my camera so I could snap a few shots of his expression.

“I knew you’d find it amazing,” I proudly announced, as if I had personally created this ocean.

“It is without a doubt amazing, Addy. I’ve never seen an ocean other than in pictures.”

We walked hand-in-hand on the beach until we reached the edge, where water meets sand. Jack wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close. It felt so good to be in his arms and felt like we had never taken a break or broken up. I rested my head on his chest as we stared off into the horizon. It felt right to be standing in this spot with him. He kissed my forehead and whispered, “Jump, Addy.”

I pulled back to read his face. “What?” I asked.

“Jump.”

“Jump? Like…into the water?”

“Jump, like…into a serious relationship with me.”

It was another unpredictable moment of the last two days. I hadn’t expected Jack to make this request.

“Addy, remember the first time we were at The Beach and I asked you to jump off The Cliffs into the water? Remember how I told you I wouldn’t ask you to take that leap if I thought you’d get hurt? It’s the same thing now. I wouldn’t ask you to jump into a relationship if I thought you’d get hurt. I would never hurt you.”

His eyes searched mine. I knew he wanted to know what I was thinking, but I wasn’t even sure what I was thinking so there would be no way to explain myself or my feelings.

I knew one thing with complete certainty. “Jack, you know I love you. I do. But I’ll still be coming back here next year and unless you’re about to tell me you’re coming with me, which believe me, would make me the happiest person on Earth, I don’t know how this could work.”

He let out a heavy sigh and shook his head. “I just can’t picture living here. This is beautiful, I’ll give you that, but it’s not what I want. I want you back in Montana.”

I tipped my head to the side. “You know I can’t do that.”

“Why? Is the schooling here so much better that you can’t switch?”

“It’s been my dream to come back to California. You know that and besides, is Montana so much better that you can’t move?”

“It’s my home, Addy. I can’t picture raising kids here.”

I gulped. “Are you…asking me…what are you saying?”

“You know what I mean. I can’t help but look into the future and when I do, I just don’t see it being in California. I see one thing though.”

“What’s that?”

“I see you. I want to spend my life with you.”

Even though I knew he wasn’t proposing, the idea of it was very thrilling.

I pleaded, “Let’s just get back to Montana and enjoy our summer together. We’ll worry about our relationship in August, okay? I don’t want to waste a single minute of our time together in any kind of an argument. Please?”