Maggie on the Bounty (8 page)

"Fuck," I said.

"Once again, you and I are of
one mind," Killian said, giving the last door handle a frustrated jerk.

"Where did that crazy vampire
go?" I asked.  "You know we can't go back to our time until we find
her."

Killian nodded grimly. "It
appears we will be earning our vacation pay."

"If that bastard Julio cuts
our fee in half, I'm stealing the bathrobes.  All of them.  On the entire
boat."  I jerked my thumb back up towards where we came from.  "Let's
make sure the kid is all right.  Maybe let her know her imaginary friends
aren't going to disappear on her."

But Jackie was gone by the time we
showed up.  I was hoping that her nanny hustled her off to bed and not that
some Other Side monster had snatched her.

I looked at Killian. "We gotta
make sure nothing ate her," I said.

Killian paced the floor. 
"Should we even try to return to our own time?" he finally asked.

That was the million dollar
question, wasn't it.  I wanted to escape.  Boy oh boy, I wanted to just open up
a portal and go back to our nice cozy little stateroom and enjoy some room
service on our employer's dime.  But instead, I found myself saying, "We
gotta fix this.  It is probably one of those 'entire fate of the world hangs
upon this moment' moments.  As much as I would rather be at home watching This Old (Haunted) House,
I think we've got our own renovation project right smack dab in front of our
nose."  I looked off at the spot where Jackie had her meltdown. "Vampires
are freaky, but I wonder what she saw that got her so scared?"

"I am not looking forward to
finding out," said Killian.

"Hazard of the trade, my
friend."

"H
ey!  Jackie!  You around
here?" I called as we combed the boat floor-by-floor.  We weren't having
any sort of luck.  "I sure hope she didn't fall into some random
vortex," I muttered.

"It is a strange coincidence
that the vampire we brought to Lacy had not been seen since 1936, and we find
ourselves in that same time," Killian stated.

With everything
going on, I had kind of forgotten about Lacy's phone call.  Go figure it was
still at the top of Killian's mind.  More likely
it was her top that was at the top of his mind.

"Yet in 1936, this boat should
be in the middle of the ocean," he continued.  "But we are docked in
Long Beach."

"What are you getting at,
Killian?"

I could tell his brain was working
overtime on this thought.  "Time does not seem to be trapped just within
these walls, but into the world beyond us, too.  California life seems to exist
beyond the doors.  This boat seems to exist independently from the true Empress
Adelaide."

I mused.  "It would have to be
more than just an alternate timeline.  Perhaps an alternate dimensional
pocket...?"  I shook my head.  "It makes it awfully convenient, though,
doesn't it?"

"What
is convenient?"

"It is
completely easy to keep tabs on vampires with today's registries, but to grab
vampires from the past and bring them over?  Who would notice a bunch of
vampires disappearing from California eighty-odd years ago?  They could pop on
through this portal and walk into modern life and no one would even
notice."  I put my hand out and a modern ghost
couple walked right through it.  "The veil is so thin
here.  I bet natural portals open more regularly than the buffet in the grand
ballroom."

"I wonder how many vampires
have come through?" Killian thought aloud.

I really
wish he hadn't.  I started to do the math.  I'm not what one would call a whiz,
but the column of "possible number of vampires ferried over" in my
ledger seemed a little scary.  "So, Vaclav in our time keeps trying to
tear down the boundary and bring over vampires.  Think this is his new
tactic?"

"It
is an excellent informed hypothesis.  If he had not upset the balance of ghosts
upon this boat..."

"...if they are actually ghosts..."

"...and
if there had not been management in place that cared about these otherworldly
connections, he could have emptied The Other Side completely and we would not
have even known."

"Maybe if Vaclav hadn't been
so busy playing time-travel planner, Mr. Smith wouldn't have gotten a jump on
him in Ghost Town and turned him into a werepire."

"Does the fact there still are
vampires in the past indicate that you and I are successful now?  Or is it
unfolding in present day and the actions of the past have no impact upon
history as it unfolds?"

"This makes my brain
hurt."

"I believe the phrase you
taught me was 'Do not sprain your brain,' correct?" said Killian dryly. 

The elf had been hanging out with
me too long. 

We passed a sign that seemed like
it could be a solution to some of our issues.  Raiding a laundry room for
clothes seemed awfully Marx Brothers, but if our life was going to turn into a
movie, I'd prefer a screwball comedy than running around in our skivvies like
some farce.  Or teen slasher flick.  "Come on, follow me."

The place was deserted, it being
the middle of the night and all.  Vats of hot water held used bed sheets and
massive ringers lined a wall.

"What are you looking for,
Maggie?" Killian asked.

"Clothes.  Uniforms.  Anything
that can disguise us a bit," I said, looking through the stacks. 
"Here we go!"  Over by the big ironing presses were a bunch of
uniforms, freshly starched.  "I knew these fancy first class
accommodations wouldn't leave us high and dry."

I threw a porter's outfit at
Killian as I grabbed some maid gear.

"This will be helpful?"
he asked, looking skeptical.

I gave his pointy ears a good hard
look and tossed him a hat.  "Trust me.  The help can go wherever they want
and no one bats an eye."

Killian took off his shirt,
revealing his chiseled elfin perfection.

"Okay, maybe with you, they'll
bat an eye," I said, unfolding my maid's uni.

He gave me a wink. "Are you
batting an eye?"

"I'll
bat your eye if you look over here while I'm changing."  I stripped down
and climbed into a nice little black number with a frilly collar and sleeves,
starched apron, and paper hat.  I slipped my utility belt under the
skirt.  It was a little lumpier than a petticoat, but I hoped the fashion
police would give me a pass on account of the whole 'survival' thing.

"The
maid look suits you."

"Save
it for Lacy," I replied.

"Your
neck guard and boots certainly add something," he said. 

"I
call this look clean and kickass." 

"I
would hire your services."  Killian looked around.  "Now, what shall
we do with our former attire?"

"Eh, I guess we have to
abandon it."  I looked sadly at my pants.  "So hard to find leather
that fits right."

Killian walked over and grabbed my
stack from me.  "Maggie, if we are in the same space, but different time,
we merely have to hide these where our future selves will find them."

"You'd think you'd been
watching Bill and
Ted!" I grinned.  "Excellent, Killian!"

"I do not get that
reference."

"It was an 80's movie... never
mind.  We have some serious cultural exchange issues we need to get through
when we get finished up with our little project."  I waved him to follow.
"Let's go find a good hiding spot."

As we walked along, our clothes
folded up like we were just returning some freshly laundered awesomeness to a
guest, I felt the strangest thing.  It was as we passed this big hallway.  I
felt this whoosh.  It was like all the air had been sucked out of the room.  A
few more steps and the vacuum of energy was gone.  I stopped Killian, who
looked at me quizzically.  I stepped backwards into the hallway intersection. 
There was the vacuum again.  The fact I had been feeling absolutely nothing up
until this point, and then got walloped by something big like that—it did not
bode well.

"What is it, Maggie?"

"Just feeling like maybe we
might have stumbled upon the key to what's going on."

Killian looked down the hallway,
then back at me.

"What do you say we start
servicing some rooms?" I asked.

F
orce of habit, I checked all the
handles as we passed by.  As expected, the doors were locked.  I knew they
didn't have what we were looking for, though.  It was like getting swept along
in a stream.  Just follow the suck and we'd find out what was going on.  Kind
of like my life.

"Do you hear that?" I
asked.

"Hear what?" asked
Killian.

It was soft and distant, and could
have been mistaken for a cat in heat.  "Music.  Organ music.  Really bad
organ music."

I wandered down the hallway some
more. "Shoot, you'd think if you had an eternity to practice The Maple Leaf Rag,
you'd be better."

The feeling was coming from the
same spot where the music was, both of which were behind, surprise, a locked
door.  I knelt down, fumbled through my apron pockets, and pulled out my
lock-pick set.

"Where did you acquire
that?" asked Killian, looking a little impressed.

"I was a Monster Scout.  And
you know that old motto..."  I fumbled with the keyhole.  Fortunately, it
was simple technology and cooperating nicely for me.  "Be prepared... so
that you don't get your face eaten off."

The lock clicked and I pushed the
door slowly open.  In the middle of the room was a man tied to the organ.  He
was probably early fifties with thinning, red, sticky-outie hair.  He was tall
and gaunt and had a face like a mashed potato.  He wore a burgundy suit and
bolero tie, looking like he probably belonged in a saloon tinkling the keys
while some gun fighters pulled aces out of their sleeves more than on an art
deco cruise ship in the middle of the Long Beach harbor.  But here he was.  My
first instinct was to run over and untie him, if just to get him to stop playing. 
My second instinct was to first figure out why he was tied to an organ and then
figure out whether I should leave him tied up or ask him to join our party of
merry mercenaries.

"Do you know Piano Man?" I asked
as I edged forward.

He looked up from his keyboard and
gasped, "Finally!  An audience."

The guy was nuts, 100% certifiably
bonkers.  His eyes were crazy and he seemed to have forgotten that normal
people blink.  A big strip of metal bolted his waist to the back of his seat. 
Whoever did this left his arms and legs free so that he might share his music
of the night, but that was about it.

"You might get more people if
you let folks know you were chained up down here," I replied, pointing at
his fancy harness.  "But since you mentioned it, why are you chained up
down here?"

"Ah, I did not mention it, you
did," he said, waving his finger knowingly as if I was trying to pull a
fast one on him.

"You caught me!  So why don't
you say why."

He played an ominous chord. "I
play the song for the lady in black..."

I thought back to our nice little
cruise director up there poolside.  "I think I know her."

"You know Barbara?" he
said, suddenly friendly in that way you get when you figure out you have
something in common with a complete stranger.

"Know
'of' Barbara," I replied.  "Remind me what she does, again?"

He faded a
bit and then started playing again.  "She ferries the undead from this
world to the world beyond, but every night, she joins me, she tells me to
make my music until the world stops."

I couldn't get a pulse on what made
this guy tick and whether he fell into the 'good crazy organ player' or 'evil
crazy organ player' category.  "So... do you like making music until the
world stops?"

"Oh yes!" 

"And you like this lady in
black?"

He started playing some very sad
chords.  "No, but she is the only one who visits me."

"We're visiting you."

He perked right up at that. 
"Indeed!  You are!"

"If we were to free you, would
you try to say... eat us?"

"Oh no!" he replied with
great horror in his eyes.  "I'm vegan."

"Good!  This is good!"  I
turned to Killian.  We stood there looking at each other in silence for a bit
before I said, "So... I think we should let him go."

"Maggie?" Killian
replied, stopping me in that way that seemed like maybe he was doubting my
decision making skills.  "Do you think that is sound?"

"Listen, the vampires want him
playing this organ.  Which makes me want to make sure he's not playing this
organ."

"But I like to play the
organ!" the guy protested.

"Sorry, I didn't get your
name..." I said.

"Mortimer."

"Mortimer, you can play all
the organs you like, just not
this
organ."

He stroked the keys lovingly.
"But why not
this
organ?"

"I think it might cause the
world to end."

"Is that so terrible?"

"You won't be able to play the
organ after the world ends," I pointed out.

He took a moment and then agreed,
"True."

"So, if you want to play the
organ for eternity, and who doesn't, we gotta get you out of there."  I
turned to Killian and handed him my gun.  "Killian?  I'm about to do something
really stupid.  If necessary, I'm going to need you to shoot us."

He slowly took the gun out of my
hands. "On most days, dear Maggie, I would be overjoyed at the prospect. 
But why might you want me to shoot you now?"

"Because I'm about to see if
Mortimer is telling us the truth."

I walked over and held out my hand
to the guy.  "If we free you, do I have your word that you will not kill
or harm either myself or my partner?"

He looked at my proffered hand,
then back up at me.

"I do not touch other
hands," he apologized.  "It is unhygienic."

Great, I had a crazy, OCD, bad
musician of doom.

"How would you suggest that we
agree to work together on this little mission, then?"

Mortimer looked at my hand and then
looked at me again.  He clenched his teeth and held out his hand.  I grasped it
quickly.  It was cold, but not dead cold.  I'm pretty sure he had a pulse in
his body, which ruled out the undead, which ruled out a ton of bad monsters. 
No zings of power.  And he didn't try to bite me, which was an even better
sign.  Plus, if he was germaphobic, it was good to know I could bypass the
staking when a sneeze would do just as well.

"Deal."  I turned to
Killian.  "All right, partner.  Let's get him out of here."