Maggie on the Bounty (11 page)

T
he soldiers packed the hallways,
going to and fro to the ballroom, which was now relegated to a mess hall.  It
wasn't quite the fancy buffet of Sunday brunch, but it had a certain symmetry
to it all.  I didn't look anything like a WAC, but I think they were just
thrilled to pieces to have a nice set of stems to look at.  I made sure to keep
my skirt hitched high so there weren't any complaints.  It also helped in case
there was any running needed.  Count the invention of spandex on my list of
"awesome things in the future that I was missing a lot."

I looked down at my watch.  Between
the battle and that little side trip, we had about a half hour before the Ghost
Spirit got sunk by the U-boat of time.

"Okay, Killian, so if you were
an evil vampire trying to tear down the boundaries, where would you hide
Mortimer?" 

"Organ room?"

"Organ room."

"I would be willing to bet my
life upon it."

"Lucky for you, you might just
have the opportunity to place that bet."

"It seems like an opportunity
that arises frequently when I am in your company, Maggie."

"Make your complaint to
management," I replied as I peered around a corner.  There was no one in
sight and I waved to Killian that the coast was clear.

"If you are your own boss, is
it your own fault for getting into terrible situations?" Killian asked.

"I feel like we live in an
equal opportunity blame game."

"Then I blame you,
Maggie."

"And I blame you.  Now, shall
we kick some vampire ass?"

"Gladly.  Do you see
one?"

I looked around the next corner. 
There were two soldiers standing guard.  "Is that the organ room?" I
asked Killian.

He snuck a look and nodded his
head.

"I think we found ourselves
our strategic target."

Killian crouched down beneath me so
we could both look at them.  The vampires hadn't smelled us yet, which made me
believe these strapping young fellas were a little light on the brain rations. 
Young vampires are dumb as a box of hardtack.  That said, they had a terrible
habit of binge-eating.

"Surprise attack?" I
suggested, palming my silver stake.

"Surprise attack it is,"
Killian replied, pulling out his staff.

We both started running.  I really
needed to get myself some of those fancy shoes that Killian wore.  They were so
quiet, it's like he was running through a field of pillows, meanwhile my clunky
shoes alerted every vampire and its mother we were on the way.

The good news is that all the noise
made them turn square to us, which gave me the target I needed.  I threw my
stake and caught him.  Unfortunately, my aim was a little off, so it was just
poking out of his shoulder.  He and his buddy turned tail and ran.

"Mortimer or the bad
guys?" Killian asked.

"Bad guys.  We're not much
good if they sound the alarm and we have a whole army of vampires getting in
our way."

"Good call," said
Killian, doubling his speed.

"Besides, I want my stake
back."

"Your sister would never
forgive you if you lost it," Killian replied.

We saw the vampires duck into a
stateroom.  It happened to be the same stateroom that tour guide told us what
seemed like a million years ago was the most haunted stateroom on the entire
boat.

"Shit, Killian.  You realize
what room that is?"

He looked at it and said, "The
good news is that perhaps the only poltergeists here are ourselves."

It actually was strangely
comforting.  I was feeling pretty good about busting up some furniture on this
damned boat, and if it made our employer, in whatever dimension he was
inhabiting right now, feel better about paying Killian and I, I would be more
than happy to bust up everything in sight.  Killian and I burst right through.

The stateroom in this place and
time was as fancy as a captain's quarters with a decidedly feminine touch,
which was completely out of step with the rest of the boat's decor.  My guess
was this was where Barbara was entertaining the troops in her down-time, mainly
because the room was filled with soldiers and they were looking
under-entertained.

They hissed at Killian and me as we
burst into the room.

"Trap?" I asked as I
started to back slowly towards the door.

"Most decidedly," said
Killian as the door was helpfully slammed shut by the vampire who had been behind
it, waiting for us.

"Shit."

They were on us like a pack of
lions on an injured zebra.  The good news is that we, unlike the unfortunate
zebra of the Sahara, happened to be armed.  Still, close quarters made for some
awkwardness and far too many public displays of destruction for my taste.  I
saw my stake in the shoulder of that one vampire, then I saw him rip it out and
chuck it at me.  I leaned to the side and it hit a vampire who had just been
about to knock me on my ass.

"Thanks!" I shouted at
the guy.  Taking out his buddy didn't seem like what he had been hoping for.

They say that gratitude is an
action, though, so I made sure to kill that vampire quick. I picked up my
stake, wiped it on my skirt, and winged it at another guy right before I knifed
another.  I heard a swoosh and turned to see Killian slice a vamp's head clean
off with the pointy end of his stick.  It went flying and hit one of the
vampire's friends, who looked for a moment like he wasn't sure whether to be
upset about it or eat it.  I saved him from being too torn between decisions by
poking him through the heart.  There was a howl of rage.  I spun and caught the
soldier trying to creep up on me.  The howl probably wasn’t the best strategy
when trying to be sneaky.  I was grateful he was sleeping in his crypt during that
part of basic training.

Suddenly, I realized the room was
really quiet.  Too quiet.  Not a gasp.  Not a breath.  I turned to look and saw
I was all alone.  Killian was gone.

Fuck.

Double fuck.

Chapter Eighteen

I ran out into the hallway and
looked right and left.  God bless Killian, he wasn't going down without a
fight.  He had left huge gouge marks in the wall.  I mean, sure they stopped
abruptly, which was more than a little troubling, but he at least gave me a
pointer as to which direction to run.  And, man, I needed that direction.  I
felt as lost as a blonde in Boston.  This boat had me so turned around, I
couldn't have told you which way was up.  This is not a good place to be when
you have to figure out which way to take the staircase.

I decided
that vampires probably would want to stick to someplace away from windows,
preferably someplace where they wouldn't risk catching the beauty of a
sunrise.  Away from windows probably meant the cabin rooms below the
waterline of the ship, so that's where I headed.  Or at least
that's where I hoped I was headed.

My
decision-making skills paid off with the awful reward of seeing flecks of blood
upon the military-clean linoleum.  I really hoped this
was just carnage from the fight and not vampire drool
from mid-snack.

I got down
into a more work-a-day-looking area of the boat.  No one had bothered to hide
the pipes in the ceiling, the beams holding up the roof were unfinished and
slathered with sloppy coats of lead paint, and the long
hallway was looking a little what one might call ratty.  It was pretty clear
whoever was occupying this floor didn't place sparkling clean freshness high on
the priorities list.  It also had that unnerving silence that we found on that
floor with the pool.  Who knows.  I could have actually been on the floor with
the pool.  I was so lost.

I did,
however, get some ideas when the first vampire jumped out at me.  He came
straight out of one of the doors on the interior side of the boat, leading me
to believe these rooms were indeed reserved for fellows who were more night
owls than morning larks.  Guess he needed a midnight snack and figured the
hired help were there to help him help his hunger.  He was in for a surprise.

Rather than
running for cover, I got him in the heart.  He fell to
his knees and looked at his chest a little disbelieving.  I decided to help him
with the reality check.  I walked over and kicked it in, deep and good.

Unfortunately, that's when the
second vampire came running at me.  I felt his arms wrap around my shoulders
and try to wrestle me to the ground.  I bent and flung him over my head.  I
planted his skull into the ground with a crunch.  I used the momentum to roll
over on top of him as I reached over for my stake.  This muthafucker was going
to die if he wanted to or not.

My balance was off, though, and he
flipped me off him and jumped back into the reception area at the end of the
hallway.  Fine by me.  A little more elbow room made things more fun.

Young vampires are kind of a bore. 
If they're older, they know enough to try some different tricks.  But with
young vampires, they think they can get by on their good looks and pretty
faces.  This guy was in for a nasty surprise.  I was about to educate him that
it was brains over beauty every day.

I ducked as he flew towards me, and
popped back up as he miscalculated and went over.  I grabbed his feet just as
they sailed past my ears and slammed his head into the floor like an ice skater
doing a death drop.  Except I didn't feel like keeping his face from hitting
the ground. 

It felt so good, I decided maybe he
needed a couple more rides on my swing.  I spun around and around, hitting his
face on the two steel beams holding the ceiling up.  I kept going until his
head popped off.  Decapitation is a messier way of killing a vampire, but any
port in a storm, what have you.

I flung his limp body away, walked
over to the dead soldier, and FINALLY got my stake back.  I wiped it off on my
pants.  There were vampire guts everywhere, but that is one of those hazards of
the trade.

"KILLIAN!" I called.

Nobody answered back, which meant
he was either far away, stuck somewhere and couldn't call back, or stuck
somewhere and unconscious.  I figured as long as he wasn't dead or undead, we
were having a good day.

I took off and found myself
entering the galley of the ship.  For a boat this size, there should have been
meals being prepared night and day.  Instead, there was nothing.  Made me think
that whoever was in charge wasn't planning on having folks around to feed for
much longer.

"Killian!" I called out
again.

"Killian!" hissed someone
back, someone who was most definitely not Killian.

"Oh fuck it." I turned
around and there was an older vampire.  You can tell because they are uglier. 
The ease of dispatching them was inversely proportional to the aesthetic appeal
of their mugs.  And this guy was ugly.

"Mutherfucker," I swore. 
"What now?"

The vampire came walking slowly at
me, which is, in some ways, even scarier than one who rushes you.  Tends to
indicate that they know what they're doing and are going to be watching your
weaknesses for the cue to attack.

"I just want my partner
back," I said, holding up my hands as if somehow I could convince him I
was just this harmless little girl ready to go her happy way if he played nice.

"He shall die, just as you
shall die, Maggie MacKay."

So much for that tactic.

"There is quite a bounty on
your head," he continued.

"STILL?!?!  I'm pretty sure
that got withdrawn when I didn't kill your vampire leader the week before
last.  An older fellow named Vaclav, maybe you've heard of him."

Name-dropping had just about the
same effectiveness rate as when I tried it at some club with a red velvet rope.

"Oh, it would have been
withdrawn if you HAD killed Vaclav.  I serve another master."

I groaned.  "Not another
master."

"ANOTHER MASTER!"

"Tell your other fucking
master I have had one too many vampire masters for one lifetime.  Quit scaring
the ghosts away and chomping on passengers and we are even steven and I will
get out of your hair!"

"I do not believe he can agree
to those terms."

"I think that maybe a jerk
like him should reconsider," I said as I grabbed a pan and hurled it,
hoping to distract him enough to make a move.  No such luck.  He just batted it
away and kept coming.

"And why should he
reconsider?"

"Because otherwise I'm going
to kill him."

The vampire began to laugh. 
Vampire laughs are awful things.  It's like all the joy is sucked out of the
room and replaced with pictures of crying velvet clowns.  Creepy and not the
least bit funny.

"Maggie, prepare for your own
death!"

"Sorry, dude.  I'm afraid that
is not on my cruise schedule."

I ran at him with my stake.  He
dodged out of the way and leapt over my head, landing behind me. Kind of like
the move his friend had just executed, except with more finesse.

"How many of you are on this
boat?" I asked.

"Hundreds!  And there will be
hundreds more!"

"Where are 'hundreds more'
coming from?"

"You don't know, Maggie
MacKay, do you?"

"If I knew, I wouldn't be asking,
dumbass."

"When the third whistle of the
boat's bell rings, the boundary shall be torn down!"  He grinned,
thoroughly pleased with himself that it looked like he had ruined my day.

"Oh.  No, I knew about
that."

That took the wind out of his
sails.

"Armageddon comes down upon
our heads at midnight, right?"

"Who told you?" he spat
as he came at me.

I jumped out of the way. "You
think I wouldn't figure it out?  I am not just some dumb world walker that
stumbled into your little time bubble.  I am a MacKay."

"Well, then, Maggie MacKay,
prepare for your doom!"

"Listen, if you're going to
kill me, can my last request be that you shut the hell up and get on with
it?"

"Oh Maggie, I do not intend to
kill you," he replied.  "You would be a valuable catch for our clan."

You know how it feels when some
gross guy leers at you at a bar?  He hasn't done anything, but just him
breathing makes you want to take a Silkwood shower?  That's the way this guy
made me feel. 

"Sorry, I'm afraid I'm not
going to allow you to take me alive," I replied.

"Well, finally we have
something to battle for, don't we?  Funny that I shall be fighting for your
life while you seek your death."

"Just another Saturday in my
world," I replied.

I heard a tap-tap-tap on a pipe
above my head. 

"Killian," I whispered.

While my head was turned, the
vampire took off towards me.

Here's the thing:  this guy was
smart, but not that smart.  Did he really think I would be distracted by
fucking Morse code?  You hear Morse code.  You don't see it.  I held my ground
until he was almost on top of me and then braced the blunt end of the stake
against my heart as he fell upon me.

The pointy end was his direction.

I pushed him off me and he dropped
lifelessly to the ground.  "Well, I know you are tearing down the boundary,
I've got until midnight, and you want me alive.  Thank you for your
time."  I looked down at his lifeless body.  "Health inspector isn't
going to be too pleased about this sort of kitchen contamination."  I
kicked him under the counter before turning back to the pipe and tapping,
"You safe, partner?"

"Yes," came back the
reply.

"Where you at?"

I waited a few moments before the
tapping returned.

"Dark."

Fuck.  He was in the dark.  Nothing
like getting yourself kidnapped and then not knowing where you were to screw up
your rescue operation.

"Any other clues?" I
asked.

"Hurt," was all that
replied.

I cussed.

"Don't die," I replied. 
And I meant it.  "Keep banging."

I ran off towards the sound and
hoped that no one else was off running, too.

There was a moment when the echoes
got me a little confused, but then I followed them across a catwalk and into
another cavernous room.  At first, I thought it was the same cavernous room we
had been in before, the one with the massive legion of vampires and the scary
huge portal, but this one must have been on the other end of the boat. 
Otherwise, it looked exactly like the other cavernous room - raw and
unfinished.  Walls of steel.  Probably someplace to stick some cargo or some
ballasts. 

It was dark, though.  Very, very
dark.

"Killian!" I called.

I heard a soft noise from far
below. 

If that fucking elf died before I
got to him, I swear to God I was going to kill him.

I ran down the stairs and found
myself looking at a big, flat platform.  Must've been at least fifty by fifty
feet, not that I could even see where it ended.  Way off in the distance, I
thought I saw a door that looked like it could have been the engine room.  The
platform was huge, though, and evened out the v-shaped bottom of the boat so
that folks could walk from one end of the room to the other without rolling
downhill and taking a dip in the bilge water.  In the middle of the platform,
though, was a gaping hole that had an eerie blue light glowing out of it.  It
was about as strong as a bathroom light sneaking through the cracks of the
door.  There were little catwalks that wrapped around the edge of the hole and
the edge of the larger platform.  They skirted over the beams and uneven floor
joints.  You had to run across the catwalk in order to get to the platform,
which seemed like an accident waiting to happen.  But like I had anything
better to do.

I didn't see the vampire come, I
felt it.  It was just so fucking dark.  I wished to God I had some light.  I
kicked it as it grabbed at my ankle.

"Killian!" I yelled as I
stomped on another set of fingers.

"Here Maggie!" he yelled.

"Did you pack a flashlight,
Killian?  Or some fire?" I yelled as I put my foot between the vampire’s
body and my own.  I pushed him off.  Not that moves like that did much damage. 
The vampire just flew away.  The end.  Gravity wasn't working in my favor.

I got out my stake.  It was like
playing 7 Minutes in Heaven in a dark closet in middle school with some guy who
was all hands, only this guy was also all fangs.  I'd feel his hand on my
waist, and by the time I turned, he was out of striking distance.  I felt his
teeth bang against my collar and once again thanked the lucky stars I wore it. 
I felt him ripping at my dress, his claws using my Kevlar like a pin cushion.  I
figured as long as I kept running towards that blue light, it would get easier
to see what I was doing.  His goal seemed to be in direct opposition to that. 
He had been good about keeping quiet and sticking to the shadows, but then he
stepped in between the light and me and I took the opportunity to play a little
pin-the-stake-on-the-vampire. 

I paused for a minute just to catch
my breath as he dropped.  I kicked his body off the side of the catwalk.  He
scraped up my arms something fierce and I probably could use a Band-Aid or two,
but still... it had been too easy.  He could have picked me up.  He could have
knocked me silly.  Instead, he made me look at that blue light like it was some
sort of homing beacon that I should run to with wide open arms, like a 70's
chick on the beach.

"Maggie?" came a weak
voice.

No matter what I was feeling, that
voice cut through all rationality and/or bullshit.

"Killian?  I'm coming!" I
said.

I crept forward carefully.  There
seemed to be some sort of force field dancing across the top of the hole.  In
the middle of the hole, down in the pointy part of the bottom of the boat, was
my partner.  He had been tapping out his Morse code by knocking his messages
into the hull with his staff.