Back to You
by Leighton Rose
Copyright © 2014 Leighton Rose
Digital Edition: January 2014
Editors: D & S
Cover image licensed by www.shutterstock.com
Cover Photo design by G.D. Leigh
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. If certain places or characters are referenced it is for entertainment purposes only.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be used, reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means without written permission from the Author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.
WARNING
This book contains material that may be offensive to some and is intended for a mature, adult audience. It contains graphic language, homosexual relations, explicit sexual content and adult situations.
Dedication
For Deederz and Sammie, because without your unwavering love and support, I would’ve never had the guts to do this. I love you two more than words can express. Thank you for everything
!
Acknowledgements
Thank You:
To my real life Tyler, who wanted to be the star in my book, for helping me to plot out details and for encouraging me to tell this story. I owe you so much.
To Franca for pre-reading and encouraging me to keep going. Your support means the world to me.
To Brandilyn and Barb for reading through the rough draft and pointing out things that didn’t make sense, which helped me make this a better story. I appreciate your help so much!
To Tyler S. and Stacia for reading certain scenes for me and talking me down from the ledge when I didn’t think they were good enough. You don’t realize how significant that is to me!
To Nic and Harper for your advice and experience with self-publishing. It has made this whole journey so much easier for me.
To Wifey, Donny, Stephen, Andrew, Robyn, and Big Man, thank you so much for your support and encouragement in all of this and for allowing me to use your names in my book, even though your characters aren’t modeled after you!
Table of Contents
Alex
"I don't fucking know what you want from me anymore!" I screamed at Tyler as I turned to walk out of the bedroom, slamming the door hard to emphasize my point.
I was so sick of everything: the arguing, the screaming, the accusations. Honestly, I didn't even know what we were fighting about anymore. The point was we were fighting… again. I barely made it halfway down the hall before Tyler caught me and spun me around to face him.
"I just want a fucking answer! Seriously, is it that hard to comprehend?" he spat angrily at me.
Had he even asked me a question in all of the yelling? I wasn't sure anymore. Apparently my brain filter malfunctioning was enough to set him off again.
"What is it now, Alex? Not paying attention to me again? Are you fucking kidding me?"
Oh. I must've said that out loud. "With all the yelling and accusations in there I wasn't aware there was a question to answer! Seriously, Tyler, we can’t keep doing this. It's just not working for me anymore." There, I'd said it and it had just about killed me to say the words.
The look on his face went from angry to desperate in a matter of seconds and I felt like such a fucking bastard. "You're right, baby; of course you're right," he told me, the fight instantly draining out of him.
"I'm so, so sorry…" He kept repeating it over and over, but I honestly didn't hear it as my eyes had zeroed in on his face and the fact that there was a steady stream of tears running down it.
We'd had our fair share of fights over the past three years, which was to be expected when you had two very dominant personalities in the same relationship, but in all that time, I'd never seen Tyler cry and my heart ripped in two as I witnessed it happening. He just looked so defeated.
It was beyond agonizing to realize that all of our recent fighting and screaming and just pure lack of concern for each other's feelings in the past few months had broken my boy down so much that he'd resorted to crying.
Tyler wrapped his arms around my waist, holding me close to him. I knew it was wrong; I shouldn't have let him do it. It really wasn't right to give him false hope. I should've been stronger than that, but I just wasn't. I needed him in that moment so I slipped my arms around his neck and nuzzled into him, inhaling deeply, trying to imprint his scent into my memory so that I'd never forget it. He sighed a little and relaxed into me so that I was practically holding him up.
"I love you, Alex." His whispered words made my heart clench. "I love you so fucking much."
"I know, Ty, I know," I assured him as I pulled back to stare deeply into his emerald green eyes. "Me too…"
And I did. I loved him so fucking much that at times it felt like I couldn't breathe without him, but I'd now figured out that sometimes love just wasn't enough of a reason to stay. We'd loved each other for so many years, yet we just kept hurting each other, sometimes intentionally, sometimes not, but what it really came down to was the fact that at this point there had been more bad times than good and we just couldn't keep doing that to each other. I was far from innocent in the situation, but so was he.
It was the hardest decision of my life, but I realized that the next day I would have to leave and let him go, making good on all the times I'd threatened I would.
His next words snapped me out of my daze. "Make love to me, Alex," he pleaded, planting a passionate kiss on my lips.
My body automatically responded to his, just the way it always had. My fingers ended up tangled in his hair and my tongue slid into his mouth. I wanted to remember him, all of him, no matter how wrong it was of me. We both needed it.
"Okay," I agreed, without even really thinking about it. I justified my actions by telling myself that it was just one more time and that I owed it to Tyler and myself. Tonight I'd make love to him, hold him tight, and give in just one last time. For a few hours longer, we could stay in our bubble and pretend that tomorrow didn't exist.
Tyler grabbed my hand and pulled me back toward the bedroom. A cloud of extreme guilt and sadness had settled over us and it almost seemed like he already knew my decision was final this time.
When we were inside the bedroom, he toyed with the hem of my shirt as if he were trying to decide what to do next. I just stood by the bed, unsure of how he wanted to do whatever it was we were doing. It was so awkward and it seemed so wrong because that was the one aspect of our relationship that had always been perfect. We'd always been so in tune with each other's bodies that we'd never had to ask what the other wanted because we’d just instinctively known.
I made a split second decision and grabbed his shirt roughly, tugged it over his head and attacked his nipple with my teeth and tongue. His moans were hot as hell and I wanted to make it perfect for him. I needed to make this memory stand out so that there was something good to be remembered from this fucked up night.
I licked his left nipple then bit at it roughly while twisting and pinching his right one between my fingers.
"Oh, fuck, baby," he murmured, squirming under my touch.
"You like that, huh?" I asked him, knowing how much it turned him on when I talked to him that way. "You love it when I play with your nipples, don't you?"
"God, yes, baby... So good, so fucking good," he babbled as his eyes rolled back into his head.
I kissed my way down his stomach, licking and nibbling at his delicious skin. My fingers easily popped his jeans open and I pulled them down along with his boxers. Tyler's hands were grabbing anywhere and everywhere on my body that he could reach—my arms, my back, my hair, all over. He'd always felt the need to be constantly touching me; he said it made him feel more connected to me during such a primal way of expressing our love.
He kicked his legs free of his pants and then I kneeled, my mouth engulfing his hot cock without warning. He cried out incoherently as I worked my way up and down his shaft—licking, sucking, swirling.
I knew he was close when his eyes squeezed together tightly and his face scrunched up in the way that let me know he was trying desperately to prolong the experience. I reached up and tugged lightly on his balls, taking him in as far as I could, swallowing around him until he exploded in my mouth. The taste of his cum was something I never wanted another man to experience, but I knew that was an impossible dream.
"Oh, fuck, Alex… Yeah! Fuck, yes..." His words spurred me on and I continued to suck until I was sure he'd given me everything he had to give. I pulled off him then stood.
Tyler kissed my shoulder and laid his head on my chest. He looked up at me as he spoke and I could hear the emotion he was trying not to let break through. "Wow, baby, that was amazing."
I just nodded and smiled at him because I didn't trust my voice not to betray me right then. I leaned down and kissed the top of his head gently before pulling him down onto the bed with me; holding him in my arms after a powerful orgasm was one of the few times that things were ever perfectly peaceful between us anymore.
The throbbing between my legs alerted me to the fact that I'd been ignoring my own raging hard-on as I’d tended to my beautiful boy. The whole thing was supposed to be about him, about giving him what he needed even if it meant I was being selfish by doing so, but I could no longer ignore my own needs, as it was getting rather painful.
Tyler knew, just like he always did, exactly what I needed to hear. He leaned up and kissed me hard before whispering in my ear, "I want you inside me, baby; I want to feel you so deep that I'm begging for mercy."
I sat up and he pulled my shirt over my head. His eyes never left mine and my heart swelled so much because I could feel every ounce of love that he had for me and I was instantly tempted to change my mind about leaving. It was almost as if his soul was pleading with mine and I was so, so close to giving in, to staying.
He slid my jeans down until they joined his in a pile on the floor and then pushed me back until I was lying flat on the bed. I could see the dominant side of him coming out to play as he reached over into the nightstand drawer and pulled out the lube.
He squeezed a generous amount onto his fingers and crouched over me, keeping his eyes on mine as he slowly pushed one of his fingers inside himself.
He wasn't playing fair and he knew it; his trademark grin was plastered on his face as he stretched himself. Nothing turned me on more than watching my boy ready himself for me. My dick was aching with anticipation and before I had time to really think about what was happening, he drizzled some lube on my cock, stroked me a few times, and impaled himself on me.
"Oh, fucking Christ, Tyler!" I cried out as the sensation of being buried deep inside of him took over. He was so tight and warm, and as cheesy as it sounded, he was my Heaven.
"You like that, huh?" he asked as he rode my cock. I knew he was mocking my words from earlier but I couldn't bring myself to care because he felt too amazing to think about anything else right now.
"Oh, God… Oh, fuck, yes… Ty, just like that," I mumbled, barely able to spit out a coherent thought as my hips rose to meet his, thrust for thrust.