Long Time Coming (16 page)

Deidre desperately hoped that the slamming of the door hadn't awakened Kenisha. The children were upstairs in their bedrooms with the doors closed, but Deidre had let the bed out on the sectional in the family room for Kenisha. Deidre had thought it would be better if Kenisha didn't have to worry about climbing up and down the stairs. She just hadn't realized that Kenisha would have to deal with loud, yelling voices and slamming doors. What had she done?

Needing to talk with someone, but not wanting to burden Kenisha, Deidre tiptoed back into her bedroom, picked up the phone, and called her mother. She'd dialed her mother's number more in recent weeks than she had in the past few years. Her mother was truly a woman full of grace and mercy, because she hadn't said a word to Deidre about the way she had treated her family when all they had asked her to do was tell the truth.

Loretta's cheerful voice came over the line."Hey, sweetie, how are you doing?"

As soon as her mother called her "sweetie," tears began flowing. Deidre blurted out, "He left, Mom. I did what you said, and he left."

W
ithout Johnson lying beside her, Deidre had a fitful sleep. Most of the night was spent crying rather than trying to sleep, anyway. By morning, even though she had bloodshot eyes, she had to get up and help the kids get dressed and get them off to school. But when Deidre opened the door to the children's bedrooms, she noticed that only Kennedy was still in bed asleep. She tiptoed out of the room, not wanting to wake Kennedy, then she went in search of Jamal and Diamond.

They weren't in the upstairs bathroom, so she went downstairs. To her shock, Deidre found the kids seated at the kitchen table while Johnson scooped oatmeal into bowls. He then set the bowls on the table in front of the children. A smile crept across Deidre's face as she said, "I didn't know you were here."

He didn't look at her as he responded, "I came to take the kids to school and pick up a few items that I'm going to need."

"What items?" Deidre asked. The smile had left her face, and panic had replaced it.

"I need some underclothes and my uniform."

Was he leaving her?
"Are you leaving me?"

"I need some time, Deidre."

"How much time, because I think we have a pretty big decision to make. And I don't think that can wait too long."

Johnson looked up, and his eyes bore into Deidre as he said, "Don't try to guilt me into anything."

She wanted to reason with him—tell him how much she loved and needed him—but she could tell that he wasn't ready to hear that right now. And she really didn't want to put the kids in the middle of this, so she simply asked, "Can I at least know where you're staying?"

"I checked into the Holiday Inn in Fairborn last night."

"Will you be home for Thanksgiving?"

"I don't know."

Deidre turned and walked out of the kitchen. She didn't want to break down in front of the kids. She went into the family room. Kenisha was awake and watching the Turner Network with the volume down.

She turned to Deidre as she walked into the room and said, "Are you okay?"

Deidre plopped down in the recliner."You heard me and Johnson last night?"

"Yeah, couldn't really avoid it the way you two were yelling. I guess you told him, huh?"

"Yep, I did exactly what you and my mother have been after me to do. And now my husband is going to pack his clothes."

Kenisha didn't say anything. The two of them sat silently in the family room until Jamal and Diamond came in to give Kenisha a hug before leaving for school."Hey," she said to Diamond and Jamal."Give Mrs. Deidre a hug too."

Diamond and Jamal did as Kenisha requested and then ran out of the room. After they left, Kenisha turned back to Deidre and asked, "So what are you going to do?"

"I don't know," Deidre said in a helpless manner."For a long time, I've dreaded that something like this would happen. I didn't want to be deceitful with him, but I was so afraid of losing him."

"If you want my two cents, I don't think he's leaving. Trust me, if that man didn't want anything to do with you, he would have gone to Wal-Mart and bought himself some more clothes. Plus, he's driving my kids around." Kenisha winked at Deidre."He'll be back."

"I asked him if he would be home for Thanksgiving, but he didn't give me an answer."

Kenisha shifted in bed."What made you tell him last night?"

"I watched how Johnson was with the kids last night, and then I thought about what you said about the two of us being able to help each other out, and I decided that you were right. But before I could ask Johnson about adopting the kids, I wanted to tell him what I had done."

"So, just like that, you told him?"

"I honestly don't know if I would have chickened out last night or not. But Johnson had already given up his dream of adopting a newborn, and he told me that he was willing to retire from the military if I would agree to adopt your kids. That's when I knew I couldn't hold the truth from him anymore. You see, I know how much Johnson wanted a newborn, and how much he loves being a soldier. I couldn't take that from him too."

"Wow, that's deep," Kenisha said as she sat up in bed."Your husband was willing to throw his military career away to become a father to my children, and Kennedy's father gave her away for forty dollars."

"Hey, I just remembered that you didn't eat anything last night." Deidre stood up."I'm going to make you some tomato soup. That ought to go down smooth enough."

"Aren't you going to work this morning?"

"No, I need to be here to meet your new nurse, and your wheelchair is being delivered today also."

"Why are you doing this for me? I have been so mean to you."

"You're all right, just a bit of a grouch sometimes," Deidre said as she walked into the kitchen.

Deidre opened a can of tomato soup, put it in a bowl, and microwaved it. She put Kenisha's soup on a tray with a bottle of water. When she returned to the family room, Kenisha had put the bed up and was sitting in the recliner."You're tired of being in bed?"

"Yeah," Kenisha said."As long as I've got the strength, I'd rather sit up. Never did like lying around all day long."

Deidre put the tray in front of Kenisha and then sat down and watched her eat. Deidre had thought Kenisha was thin when they first met, but she was positive that Kenisha had lost even more weight since then."Johnson picked up your pain prescription yesterday. So if you're in any pain, just let me know, and I'll give you a pill."

"I had a friend who had been prescribed some pain medicine. She sat around her house looking like she was tripping off something. I don't want my kids to see me like that. So if I can avoid it, I'd rather just take it at night, after they go to bed."

"Okay, but they will be gone for several hours, so if you need one now, I can get it for you."

"I don't want to chance it. I need to go over Diamond's schoolwork with her when she gets in. She likes to pretend that she doesn't have any and will only do it if you force her."

"I caught a glimpse of that last night," Deidre said with a chuckle.

"She's a smart kid. She just doesn't believe it. Her dad was a thug, but he was no dummy. I always got pretty good grades in school also. So I know Diamond can do the work."

"She'll do it. She's just struggling with being a kid right now."

"Yeah, I just hope my dying doesn't stop them from making something of themselves."

"Kenisha, why do you choose to believe that you're going to die, rather than trust that God can heal you?"

Kenisha put her spoon down and laughed bitterly at that comment."I can't believe you would ask me something like that. Even you believe that I'm going to die. You wouldn't have been talking to Johnson about adopting my kids if you didn't believe it."

"I admit that the signs are there. But I still believe that God can heal you. I'll be praying that prayer until there's no reason to pray it anymore. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"Yeah, some of that 'hope for the best, but plan for the worst' stuff."

"I guess that's about the easiest way to explain how I'm feeling about the situation."

Kenisha pushed the bowl of tomato soup to the side of the tray and drank her water. After taking a few gulps of the water, Kenisha said, "Thanks, I'm done with this."

"You only ate half of your soup. Try to eat a little more, Kenisha."

Kenisha lifted her hand."That's all I can get down right now, Deidre. I'll try to eat more later. Okay?"

Deidre got up to remove the tray, but Kenisha grabbed her arm and said, "Kennedy's crying. Can you go get her for me, please?"

Deidre hadn't heard anything, but she went upstairs anyway. And sure enough, Kennedy was sitting up in the bed crying her eyes out."Don't be scared, princess. I'm right here."Deidre picked Kennedy up and noticed that the child was wet."Did you have an accident?"

Kennedy shook her head.

"Okay, well, let me get you all cleaned up." Deidre grabbed some clean clothes and underwear out of the drawer, took Kennedy to the bathroom, and cleaned her up. For her effort, Deidre was rewarded with a hug."Thank you, Kennedy. Now let's go see your mom."

A big smile appeared on Kennedy's face the moment she walked into the family room and saw Kenisha."Ma-ma," the little girl said as she stretched out her arms for Kenisha.

Deidre took the tray out of Kenisha's lap and placed Kennedy there."Sorry it took us so long.
Somebody
had an accident."

"Sorry, Ma-ma."

Kenisha looked at Deidre and said, "I forgot to tell you that I put a diaper on her at night. She's pretty good with going to the bathroom during the day—just needs a little more time to get the nighttime potty going right." Kenisha's eyes filled with sadness after she said the words "little more time." She then told Deidre, "We need to visit James, so I can get him to sign the release form so you won't have a problem adopting Jamal."

"Hold on, wait a minute, Kenisha. In case you haven't noticed, my husband has left me. I can't raise three children on my own."

"Please. I did it. Why couldn't you?"

"First of all, I work full-time. I wouldn't be able to give your kids everything they need without Johnson's help."

"You know, you've got more excuses than Kraft has cheese. I really wish you would just make up your mind, because I don't have a lot of time for these guessing games."

The doorbell rang. Deidre got up to answer it. Kenisha yelled at her, "We're not through with this conversation."

"Whatever," Deidre said as she left the room and went to open the front door.

"Hello, I'm Cynthia Harding. I'm here for Kenisha Smalls."

"Are you the home healthcare nurse who's supposed to start today?"

The woman smiled."Yes, I am."

"Come in. She's getting a little feisty, so maybe you can help me with her."

"I'll try my best," Cynthia said as Deidre walked her to the family room.

Deidre made the introductions, and to her surprise, Kenisha was actually nice to the woman. Kenisha and Cynthia spent the day getting acquainted. Cynthia informed them that she could be there Monday through Thursday, but Friday was already dedicated to another patient. Deidre called Aisha and asked if she could sit with Kenisha on Fridays. Aisha agreed. All appeared to be going well as Deidre went to pick up Jamal and Diamond. When they returned home, the wheelchair was being delivered.

Jamal jumped out of the car and ran into the house. He watched as Cynthia helped Kenisha into the chair and then asked, "Why are you in a wheelchair? And who is she?" he asked, pointing at Cynthia.

"Don't I get a hello, a hug or something?" Kenisha asked while sitting in the wheelchair.

"Sure, Mama." He walked over and hugged her. He then stepped back and looked around the room."Why are you sleeping in the family room? Why aren't you in a bedroom like the rest of us? And why are we still staying with Mrs. Deidre? You're out of the hospital. I want to go home."

As Deidre and Diamond walked into the family room, Deidre heard Kenisha say, "You've got an awful lot of questions for someone who don't run nothing. You let me handle this, and I'll tell you what's going on when I'm ready."

"But—"

"No buts, Jamal. Go do your homework, and I'll talk to you later. Okay?"

"Fine. Don't tell me what's going on. I don't care, anyway," Jamal said as he turned and stomped out of the room.

Deidre told Diamond to go do her homework also. When the two older children were out of the room, Deidre sat down next to Kenisha's wheelchair. She was trying to be patient with Kenisha, but this had gone on long enough."He's not stupid, Kenisha. He knows something is wrong."

"I'm not saying nothing until I have some parents for them."And then through clenched teeth, Kenisha asked, "Now, do you want the job or not?"

Sometimes Kenisha's attitude was so bad that Deidre wondered why she even bothered. But Deidre didn't know how it felt to be given a death sentence, and she didn't know if she would be able to treat people with loving-kindness if her life was being abruptly cut short, either, so she endured. Sighing deeply, Deidre stood up."Let me call Johnson, and then I'll let you know something for sure."

"Finally," Kenisha said as she rolled her eyes and shook her head at the situation.

Deidre didn't respond. She went upstairs to her bedroom and closed the door. She looked at the telephone but didn't pick it up. Instead, remembering that she hadn't prayed this morning, she got down on her knees in front of her bed and bowed her head. She didn't like neglecting to spend time with God, and then having to come to Him in a time of need. So she said, "Father, I really need to talk to you about something, but first I want to ask your forgiveness. I haven't spent as much time in prayer as I ought to. Lately, I've been coming to You only when I need something, and that's not right. If I am going to have a true relationship with You, then we need to commune together on a regular basis."

In her heart, Deidre knew that she wasn't just saying words that were expected of her. She truly missed spending time with God and had allowed the circumstances of life to dictate her relationship with God, but that ridiculous behavior would stop now. Even if Johnson never came back, if she never became a mother, she would love God for a lifetime and be content with that."Lord, I have been asking You to heal Kenisha, and I still believe that You can do it. Because I know that You can do the impossible. But Kenisha is asking that I adopt her children if she doesn't make it, and I need to give her an answer. I don't want to agree to do this if Johnson is not in agreement with me. He is still my husband, whether he wants to be or not. So, please, Lord, cause Johnson to have a change of heart where I am concerned. Allow him to see that Jamal, Diamond, and Kennedy need him just as much as I do."

When she had finished praying, Deidre remained on her knees for a while, hoping to hear God say all was forgiven and that He would go before her and speak to Johnson on her behalf. However, she didn't hear anything. But as the Bible said, faith without works is dead. So she got off her knees, choosing to believe that God would work everything out according to her prayers, and she called Johnson.