Incredible Sex (52 Brilliant Little Ideas) (3 page)

Take your time. Start wherever you like and suck, kiss, nibble, apply hard pressure, apply short pressure, or blow (but never into the vagina, as there’s a million to one chance you could give her an embolism). Work towards the clitoris, work around the sides of it, but don’t touch it until her hips are writhing towards you and she’s practically grabbing your ears for direction. Use a big wide lick, like you were eating an ice-cream. Get a lot of lubrication down there and many women will enjoy lapping more than more direct pointy-tongue action. Remember that for lots of women the clitoris is too sensitive to take too much direct action, and that’s why the big lick works so well.

6.
   
Larging it

Some positions work extra hard to stimulate your clitoris. Try the CAT and the PUSSY and see if you meow.

The best sex position for you is simply the one that feels best when you’re doing it. Hopefully you’ve explored your own body and have got to know your top erogenous zones. Do you enjoy clitoral or G-Incredible spot stimulation? Some women feel more sensitive on their vaginal lips or perineum, or you may need a combination of different stimulation to get you off. You need to find the right position and angle, and work out what speed, pace and rhythm works best, which are a lot of factors to get right in one go.

Here’s an idea for you…

Create your own new sex position. Experiment with postures and try moving your legs and pelvis differently for a better fit. The dominant person should try different ways of supporting their hands – higher, lower and prone on the body. Both of you have a go at being on top and see whether you prefer to lean forwards (for clitoral stimulation) or backwards to nudge your G-spot.

Many women need a lot of clitoral stimulation, but traditional sexual techniques often stimulate the vaginal area more, leaving some women extremely frustrated. To remedy this, the CAT (Coitally Adjusted Technique) was ‘invented’ in the 1990s in America and it’s specifically designed for extra clitoral stimulation. You start off in the basic missionary position, but your partner should rest his full weight on your chest and you should manoeuvre until you’re lying with both pelvic bones touching. This way he’s riding higher than normal (his head will be around 15 cm further up the bed), most of his penis is out of your vagina, but the head of it is pressing alluringly against your
cli-cli
. You should wrap your legs around him as this allows him to penetrate you more deeply and you’re going to need to hold on tightly to each other. Now you both rock together, keeping your pelvises tight against each other, avoiding thrusting movements: there’s no in and out action with this one. The idea is to rock gently to a climax. Women have 50% more chance of climaxing in this position, and the non-thrusting aspect of it makes him less likely to come. It’s also a good position for coming at the same time.

The aptly named PUSSY (Penis Underneath Scientifically Situated Yoni) position is simply an upside-down variation of the CAT. This time he gets to lie flat and you lower yourself onto the first part of his penis only. Your hips and chin should be below his and you’ll bend his penis so that it stimulates your clitoris once again. You should aim for clitoral/penis contact and once again grind away. When doing this one take care not to bend his penis too far the wrong way!

7.
   
Girls on film

Find ways to immortalise your other life – the one devoted to passion. Anything from taking photos to making your own home movie can keep the passion flowing.

Perhaps seeing yourself, nude and aroused, or in situ with your lover, could give you more of an insight into your relationship and yourself. We live in a world saturated with sexual images, but we probably don’t know what we look like in our most intimate moments. Capturing some of your sex life on tape helps to make it seem more real, and a lot of it is going on; video cameras now come in the top twenty list of sex toys.

Here’s an idea for you…

If you’re anxious about having photos/videos hanging around, get your lover to draw you in the nude like they do in art class. Of course, he can dictate any poses he thinks fit, and they’ll probably be far raunchier than the standard poses students work with.

Begin by spending time just looking at yourself naked in front of a full length mirror. What parts of yourself do you most like and dislike? Embrace all of it. Rub body lotion or massage oil all over to give yourself a sexy sheen and practise a few poses. Go on, push out your breasts and make your back taller, pulling in your tummy. Look around from the back, sit on a chair in the famous Christine Keeler pose, try anything you like and see how it feels.

Perhaps you’ll feel more comfortable photographing yourself in private first. This exercise is a great excuse to buy something sexy, and remember the easiest way to make a naked body look better is to get an even tan and to regularly moisturise all over, so do the preparation work. You can set up a video camera and leave it running whilst you practise walking, undressing, posing or even masturbating. Play it back to yourself later and note how you moved and how any clothes you wore suited you.

If you want to immortalise each other together, lay down some ground rules first. Making a video of your sex life is easy enough. What to do with it is another problem. It could be that one of you keeps it in a safe place, or that you don masks for the filming, or only shoot non-identifiable body parts.

Now you’re ready to experiment. Perhaps you’re choreographing everything around a narrative – like a sexy nurse and a sick patient. Take the chance to flesh out your fantasies. Later you can analyse your foreplay strategies and put a voice to the images, telling your lover what things turned you on the most. It’s a chance to learn something and develop trust, and it might turn you on: it’s really the perfect rainy day activity!

8.
   
More sexy surprises

Remember the initial excitement of the first hot date, the first kiss and the first time you ever woke up together?

The ecstasy can last forever if you keep the sexy thrills coming. Surprises are vital and we’re not talking about presents, but about things that ignite your sexual relationship or if you’re about to start a relationship, things that will bring results. Here then is a top ten list of sexy actions. Don’t try them all at once!

Here’s an idea for you:

Why not treat your loved one to a day in a spa? Or even a weekend. Spend your time being pampered, massaged, looked after. Enjoy all the facilities on offer; the sauna, Jacuzzi and pool. Just focus on yourselves and your bodies for 24 hours; what could be better than that? Once back in your room, try out some of the massage techniques you’ve experienced on each other.

After a sedate dinner (once the kids have gone to bed) tell your partner that pudding is on you.
Literally. Get the ice cream and spread it all over.

Go to dinner at your in-laws wearing no underwear.
But be sure to let him know you’re not wearing any just as you get out of the car. He can mull over the fact all through dinner and ravage you on your way home.

Rent a porn movie.
Nothing too drastic. We’re not talking hairy men shagging horses. Watch it together with a bottle of champagne.

Go to bed in suspenders and stockings on what is otherwise a normal weekday.
Obviously you need to make sure he sees them! So saunter oh-so-casually past him to get a glass of water or turn on the alarm clock.

Go to a sex shop together.
You don’t need to buy the double headed black mamba for heaven’s sake. In fact some sex shops now are perfectly respectable places to be seen in. And you never know what you might find.

Fantasise
– you can do this together and it works a treat. Imagine you’re somewhere or someone else.

Pick your moment and pounce on him or her.
The unexpected approach will be a huge turn on. Just make sure it’s somewhere less obvious than the bedroom.

Sex slaves
– promise to be his or her sex slave for the next two hours. The downside to this is you have to do whatever they ask so pray they’re not too perverted. Or if they are make it a contra deal and get your revenge with the recently purchased double headed extra large black mamba purchased at your last visit to the sex shop!

Promise him five blow jobs whenever he wants them.
The generosity of this gift will touch any man. And amaze most of them. The most common male complaint about sex is that they don’t get enough blow jobs from their partners. It seems a lot of you girls forget that when you were just dating they were on offer most days.

Check out a new position on the Internet or in a book and try it out on him or her.
But be careful about looking at porn on the web, never leave your name and web address.

9.
   
Eight things to do with your tongue that (some) clitorises like

The secret to giving great oral sex is to remember that the recipient has to be able to concentrate.

So help her. Make sure she’s comfortable. Once she’s approaching orgasm, don’t distract her by changing what you’re doing if you’re clearly doing something right.

This isn’t an exhaustive list, but it’s based on a poll of women asked for their favourite moves.

   Big flat licks using the whole tongue. The wetter the better.

   Flicking up the edges of the labia, eventually centring on the clitoris.

   Licking upwards repeatedly along the furrows from the vagina to the clitoris, gradually pressing harder every time but never quite reaching the clitoris (stimulating the ‘arms’, you see).

   Licking gently while pressing down just above the mons (the fleshy bit, at present directly above your nose) with the fingers.