How to Rise Above Abuse (Counseling Through the Bible Series) (19 page)

Live by Faith, Not by the Law

G
ALATIANS
3:1-14—A P
ARAPHRASE

While some people may be aware of their abusive behavior, many refuse to acknowledge it and respond to allegations with defensiveness and denial. If someone has ever suggested that you might be spiritually abusive toward
others, you may need to do some self-examination to check whether that may be true.

“Surely you desire truth in the inner parts;
you teach me wisdom in the inmost place”

(P
SALM
51:6).

In addition, if you suspect someone else has the potential of being abusive, you can check that possibility as you test yourself by taking…

The Self-test

___
Am I self-sufficient?

“Do I think I am right in God’s sight because I am self-disciplined… because I use the right words and do the right works? Do I go about doing things focused solely on my ability to get the job done rather than on God’s ability?” Realize that Paul said, “If, in fact, Abraham was justified by works, he had something to boast about—but not before God” (Romans 4:2).

___Am I self-serving?

“Do I do good things for the wrong reasons? If I am absolutely honest, do I desire to please myself more than I desire to please God?” Realize that Jesus said, “When you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full” (Matthew 6:2).

___Am I self-righteous?

“Do I take great pride in all of my righteous deeds, yet forget to give total credit to God for giving me the ability to do what I do?” (In truth, I take the credit that should be given to God and others.) “When God looks at me, does He at times see me as hypocritical and overly pious, trying to present myself as holier than others?” Realize that Jesus said, “Be careful not to do your ‘acts of righteousness’ before men, to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven” (Matthew 6:1).

___Am I self-focused?

“Am I more focused on what I have done well than on what others have done well? Am I taking credit for accomplishments that I should credit to God?” Realize that Paul said, “Not that we are competent in ourselves
to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God” (2 Corinthians 3:5).

___
Am I self-promoting?

“Do I work at trying to promote myself, or do I let God promote what He finds good in me…if He chooses to? Do I try to manipulate circumstances so that people will focus on me?” Realize that the book of wisdom says, “Let another praise you, and not your own mouth; someone else, and not your own lips” (Proverbs 27:2).

___
Am I self-protective?

“Do I let others know the real me, or do I put up barriers to keep others at a safe distance? Do I admit that I struggle with certain problems in my life, or do I put up a false front?” Realize that Jesus said, “On the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness” (Matthew 23:28).

___
Am I self-important?

“Do I feel important because I religiously follow traditions, man-made rules, and standards?” Realize that Paul said, “Formerly, when you did not know God, you were slaves to those who by nature are not gods. But now that you know God—or rather are known by God—how is it that you are turning back to those weak and miserable principles? Do you wish to be enslaved by them all over again? You are observing special days and months and seasons and years! I fear for you, that somehow I have wasted my efforts on you” (Galatians 4:8-11).

___
Am I self-centered?

“Am I touchy, judgmental, unloving, intolerant, or condemning of others? Do I find it hard to accept another person whose thinking is different from mine?” Realize what Jesus said: “At that time Jesus went through the grainfields on the Sabbath. His disciples were hungry and began to pick some heads of grain and eat them. When the Pharisees saw this, they said to him, ‘Look! Your disciples are doing what is unlawful on the Sabbath.’ He answered…‘If you had known what these words mean, “I desire mercy, not sacrifice,” you would not have condemned the innocent. For the Son of Man is Lord of the Sabbath’ ” (Matthew 12:1-2,7-8).

One of the problems Jesus had with the Pharisees is that they added to God’s laws by making up laws of their own and then making them equal to God’s laws. The result was that the people were burdened with literally thousands of nitpicky things to remember to do or not to do in order to be right with God.

They were so busy thinking about their actions that they had no time to think about their God or to grow in a personal, intimate relationship with Him—no time to focus on His love, grace, mercy, glory, character, goodness, provision, compassion, blessings, or specific plan and purpose for them.

They were unable to distinguish between what man considered a sin and what God considered a sin. That is why Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount was revolutionary for them. It opened up the heart of God to them so they might see the spirit of the law in order that they might interpret the law. We need to understand this today as well. Jesus said,

“I tell you that unless your righteousness surpasses that
of the Pharisees and the teachers of the law,
you will certainly not enter the kingdom of heaven.
You have heard that it was said to the people long ago…
But I tell you…
You have heard that it was said…
But I tell you…
Again, you have heard…
But I tell you…
You have heard that it was said…
But I tell you…
You have heard that it was said…
But I tell you…”

(M
ATTHEW
5:20-22,27-28,33-34,38-39,43-44).

As you seek to look into the heart of God and distinguish what He considers sin from what man considers sin, you need to…

— Is it stated as a sin in God’s Word?

“How can a young man keep his way pure?
By living according to your word”

(P
SALM
119:9).

— Is it in keeping with following Christ’s example?

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit,
but in humility consider others better than yourselves…
Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus”

(P
HILIPPIANS
2:3,5).

— Is it glorifying to God?

“Whether you eat or drink or whatever you do,
do it all for the glory of God”

(1 C
ORINTHIANS
10:31).

— Is it a barrier to a Christian brother?

“Let us stop passing judgment on one another.
Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block
or obstacle in your brother’s way. As one who is in the Lord Jesus,
I am fully convinced that no food is unclean in itself.
But if anyone regards something as unclean,
then for him it is unclean. If your brother is distressed because
of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love.
Do not by your eating destroy your brother for whom Christ died…
It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else
that will cause your brother to fall”

(R
OMANS
14:13-15,21).

— If Scripture doesn’t clearly address an issue, look for biblical principles that will help you determine whether or not you should take part in an activity.

“All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful
for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness,
so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped
for every good work”

(2 T
IMOTHY
3:16-17).

— Bring questionable matters before the Lord in prayer, asking Him to give you personal convictions about those matters or activities.

“ ‘Everything is permissible for me’ [a popular saying]…
but not everything is beneficial. [Paul is saying]
‘Everything is permissible for me’—
but I will not be mastered by anything”

(1 C
ORINTHIANS
6:12).

— Realize that the Lord may convict you about something that He doesn’t convict someone else about, or vice versa.

“Each of us will give an account of himself to God”

(R
OMANS
14:12).

— Don’t condemn someone for choosing not to participate with you in something that you think is perfectly acceptable.

“As one who is in the Lord Jesus, I am fully convinced
that no food is unclean in itself. But if anyone regards
something as unclean, then for him it is unclean”

(R
OMANS
14:14).

— Learn the difference between spiritual commands and social convictions. Make sure you know whether the Bible prohibits a certain action or if that action is just culturally unacceptable to certain people.

“They worship me in vain;
their teachings are but rules taught by men”

(M
ATTHEW
15:9).

—
Cultivate your convictions. Study the Scriptures and pray that the Lord would show you His heart on certain issues. Write down your convictions on paper and explain why you believe what you believe.

“Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved,
a workman who does not need to be ashamed and
who correctly handles the word of truth”

(2 T
IMOTHY
2:15).