How to Rise Above Abuse (Counseling Through the Bible Series) (22 page)

For example, if an angry husband is physically abusing his wife or engaging her in any illegal activity and then “hitting her over the head” with what Ephesians 5:22 says about submission, her response should be biblical—
by calling for help
, even from the police, if necessary (Romans 13:1). If he gets angry and shouts, “You aren’t being a Christian,” her response should be biblical—
by getting out of harm’s way.
Proverbs 22:24 says, “Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered.” If he tries to manipulate her into not taking legal action against him, her response should be biblical—
by allowing him to suffer the consequences of his actions
. Proverbs 19:19 says, “A hot-tempered man must pay the penalty; if you rescue him, you will have to do it again.”

Never submit to abuse. The situation will only get worse if you do. Violence is never right in God’s sight.

“Give up your violence and oppression
and do what is just and right”

(E
ZEKIEL
45:9).

Wearing Jewelry Is Forbidden

A
RGUMENT
:
Wearing jewelry is worldly and prohibited by God. First Peter 3:3-4 says, “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such
as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.”

A
NSWER
:
If you refuse to wear jewelry based on 1 Peter chapter 3, you have a major ethical dilemma because you must also refuse “the putting on of clothing,” which is also stated in the literal translation of this verse. Likewise, 1 Timothy 2:9 states that women should “dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes.” However, many biblical passages speak
positively
about wearing jewelry and fine clothing—and even about God being the giver of both! Therefore, when looking at the whole counsel of God, the biblical position has to be that any item of
external beauty
—like attractive jewelry, clothing, and hairstyles—should never be regarded as more valuable than the
internal beauty
of a humble heart and a sensitive spirit. The stigma against jewelry is unbiblical when the numerous Scriptures that present jewelry in a positive light are considered:

— In Proverbs 25:12, Solomon, the wisest of all men said, “Like an earring of gold or an ornament of fine gold is a wise man’s rebuke to a listening ear.” Because the rebuke of a wise person is presented as good, obviously a gold earring or ornament is also presented as good.

— In Genesis chapter 24 we read that Abraham sent his chief servant on a journey to bring back a wife for his son. Abraham told the servant that an angel would lead him to her. The chosen bride-to-be was given a “gold nose ring…and two gold bracelets,” which were provided by Abraham (verse 22). Later, “The servant brought out gold and silver jewelry and articles of clothing and gave them to Rebekah” (verse 53). Here, all items of jewelry are presented in the most positive light.

— According to Genesis 41:41-43, after Pharaoh put Joseph “in charge of the whole land of Egypt,” Joseph wore a “signet ring… [and] a gold chain around his neck.”

— In Numbers 31:48-50, we read that Moses’ officers “brought as an offering to the L
ORD
the gold articles…armlets, bracelets, signet rings, earrings and necklaces—to make atonement.”

— Job 42:10-11 tells us that after the Lord made Job prosperous again, “all his brothers and sisters and everyone who had known him before came and…each one gave him a piece of silver and a gold ring.”

— In Song of Songs 1:10-11, Solomon describes the beauty of his bride-to-be: “Your cheeks are beautiful with earrings, your neck with strings of jewels. We will make for you earrings of gold, studded with silver.”

— According to Song of Songs 4:9, Solomon says to his bride, “You have stolen my heart…with one glance of your eyes, with one jewel of your necklace.”

— In Ezekiel 16:11-13, God describes Himself as adorning Israel “with jewelry: I put bracelets on your arms and a necklace around your neck, and I put a ring on your nose, earrings on your ears and a beautiful crown on your head. So you were adorned with gold and silver.”

— In Haggai 2:23, the Lord Almighty says He will take His servant and “make you like my signet ring, for I have chosen you.” Notice that the Lord Himself promised to make His servant like a choice signet ring for Himself!

— In Luke chapter 15, Jesus shared a poignant story about a prodigal son who, upon returning home, experienced the full forgiveness of his father, who ran to his son and called out, “Quick!…Put a ring on his finger…For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found” (verses 22-24). Realize that the purpose of this parable is to describe the compassionate, forgiving heart of the heavenly Father toward us. Therefore, God the Father figuratively bestows a ring upon us when we are truly repentant and willing to come home to Him.

In conclusion, refusing to wear “rings and things” does not make a person more spiritual. Likewise, the fact that some people choose to wear jewelry does not make them more worldly. When it comes to issues such as these, throughout the Bible the primary issue is the heart. Where is it focused? Your
first priority should be to set your heart on the spiritual things of God. Then all other choices in life will fall right in line.

“Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things”

(C
OLOSSIANS
3:2).

Hair Length and Head Coverings

A
RGUMENT
:
In church services, women should wear a head covering and wear their hair long. The Bible says, “Every woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head—it is just as though her head were shaved…Does not the very nature of things teach you…that if a woman has long hair, it is her glory? For long hair is given to her as a covering” (1 Corinthians 11:5,14-15).

A
NSWER
:
To understand these cultural mandates, we must understand the
context
of why Paul wrote these words to the Corinthian church.

Paul’s comments regarding women’s hair length and head coverings were clearly in response to the thousand priestesses and prostitutes at the Temple of Aphrodite on Acrocorinth who did not cover their heads and who wore their hair short. The purpose of Paul’s words was to protect Christian women from being thought of as sexually immoral or as prostitutes if they were to cut their hair and thus dishonor themselves, their husbands, or their church. According to Jewish law, an adulterous woman had her hair cut off (Numbers 5:11-31).

If any of the temple prostitutes became Christians, they were required to wear a head covering (Greek,
peribolaion
) until their hair had time to grow long. This custom was necessary in that era (but not today) because of what short hair symbolized to the people.

Wearing Red Is Forbidden

A
RGUMENT
:
Wearing any shade of red is worldly and is prohibited because of its association with sin and harlotry. Isaiah 1:18 says, “ ‘Come now, let us reason together,’ says the L
ORD
. ‘Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.’ ”

A
NSWER
:
Nowhere in the Bible do we find a prohibition against wearing red.
This passage from Isaiah is not attaching the color red to sin, but rather is using red to illustrate the cleansing effect of the red blood of Christ.

Jeremiah 4:30 is often misinterpreted in the same way: “What are you doing, O devastated one? Why dress yourself in scarlet and put on jewels of gold?…You adorn yourself in vain.” Obviously, scarlet was considered beautiful, but because Israel was spiritually desolate, this passage presents a contrast: Israel had outer beauty, not inner beauty. This passage isn’t saying that God’s people should never wear anything beautiful. Rather, it’s saying that our outer beauty should be a reflection of our inner beauty. (See Ezekiel 16:1-16.)

There are many Bible passages that present the color red in a positive light:

— Proverbs 31:21—The woman in Proverbs 31:10-31 is often called the Proverbs 31 woman. This virtuous, godly, ideal woman has no fear for her household—her entire family—for in the winter, “all of them are clothed in scarlet.”

— Exodus 26:1—The curtains of the Tabernacle were made with
scarlet
thread.

— Exodus 28:33—The high priest in the Tabernacle wore
scarlet
on the hem of his robe when he entered the presence of the Lord within the Holy of Holies.

— Numbers 4:7-8—The table of showbread in the Holy Place was entirely covered with a
scarlet cloth.

— Nahum 2:3—The army God chose to defeat enemy nations had
red
shields and wore
scarlet
garments.

— Isaiah 63:1-2—The One stained with
crimson red
, the One robed in splendor, is a prophetic picture of Christ after His second coming and His victorious judgment over the ungodly. He is the triumphant King of kings and Lord of lords (Revelation 19:13-16).

Women Are Forbidden to Wear Pants

A
RGUMENT
:
It is sinful for women to wear pants because Deuteronomy 22:5 states, “A woman must not wear men’s clothing, nor a man wear women’s clothing, for the L
ORD
your God detests anyone who does this.”

A
NSWER
:
This Scripture cannot apply to women wearing pants because…

— When God gave this command to the Israelites, men did not wear pants, but rather garments like robes that, in the original Hebrew text of the Old Testament, were called
kethoneth
. Ironically, men and women wore the same garments!

— Most biblical scholars report that this prohibition was a response to a cross-dressing ritual common in the Canaanite religion. To cross-dress is to wear clothing designed to give a person the
appearance
of being the opposite sex and to make that person feel like the opposite sex.

— Presently, cross-dressing is considered to be practiced by those who struggle with gender identity issues, most specifically, those called
transvestites
. Cross-dressing is incongruent with the Bible, which declares that each person’s physical body is intricately formed by God. Subsequently, to reject one’s own sexuality is to reject God’s design. “You created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb” (Psalm 139:13).

— Originally, God Himself made clothing for Adam and Eve that was so similar that the Hebrew word
kethoneth
described the specific garment He made for each of them. “The L
ORD
God made garments [
kethoneth
] of skin for Adam and his wife and clothed them” (Genesis 3:21).

— Most cultures do not consider pants to be exclusively men’s clothing.

In the New Testament, the subject of how women are to dress is communicated by Paul: “Women [should] dress modestly, with decency and propriety” (1 Timothy 2:9). Consequently, the only restrictions on women’s clothing are these: Whatever women wear, it should be modest, decent, and appropriate.

The Dietary Laws in the Old Testament Must Be Kept

A
RGUMENT
:
Because God gave dietary laws for the benefit of His people, we should abide by them today in order to live a blessed life. Those who do not
adhere to the dietary laws will be doomed. Leviticus 11:47 says, “Distinguish between the unclean and the clean, between living creatures that may be eaten and those that may not be eaten.”

A
NSWER
:
Jesus repealed the Old Testament dietary laws to demonstrate that righteousness could not be obtained by observing the law. Even if certain dietary principles are still considered beneficial, Jesus made it clear that personal holiness cannot be achieved through what is eaten and what is not:

— Mark 7:18-19—Jesus asked, “Are you so dull?…Don’t you see that nothing that enters a man from the outside can make him ‘unclean’? For it doesn’t go into his heart but into his stomach, and then out of his body. (In saying this, Jesus declared all foods ‘clean.’)”

— Acts 10:15—The apostle Peter, when confronted about keeping the Old Testament dietary law, was reprimanded by the Lord, who said, “Do not call anything impure that God has made clean.”

— Colossians 2:16-17—The apostle Paul explained that the Old Testament dietary laws were repealed because they were not the reality but merely a foreshadowing of Christ, who is the reality. The coming of Christ did away with the shadow. Paul said, “Do not let anyone judge you by what you eat or drink, or with regard to a religious festival, a New Moon celebration or a Sabbath day. These are a shadow of the things that were to come; the reality, however, is found in Christ.”

— Romans 14:3,14—Paul himself declared all food clean by saying, “I am fully convinced that no food is unclean in itself. But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for him it is unclean” (verse 14). Earlier he made the point that no one should spiritually condemn another for eating or not eating certain foods. Such condemnation constitutes spiritual abuse: “The man who eats everything must not look down on him who does not, and the man who does not eat everything must not condemn the man who does, for God has accepted him” (verse 3).