How to Rise Above Abuse (Counseling Through the Bible Series) (24 page)

•
Consider the apostle Paul, whose pedigree was impressive, yet he knew little health and wealth. Although 100 percent in the will of God, he was also weak and “in want.” Rather than naming it and claiming it, he said, “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:12-13).

•
Jesus tells us that whatever we ask in faith, we will receive: “I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours” (Mark 11:24). At face value, this verse appears to back up the belief that God will give us whatever we ask—as long as we believe, we will receive it. Yet the apostle John provides important clarification for us, saying that your desire
must
conform to God’s will. Only then will God look upon your request with favor and bring it to pass:

“If we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.
And…we know that we have what we asked of him”

(1 J
OHN
5:14-15).

Their priorities and practices couldn’t have been more different, making one thing perfectly clear: Jesus was indeed the good shepherd, and the Pharisees were the false shepherds.

In the end, the Pharisees
fleeced the sheep
, whereas
Jesus died for the sheep
. And Jesus lives today to be
your
shepherd—to shepherd you through all of life. When you come under His care and place your total trust in Him, He will remain faithful as the shepherd of your soul.

“I am the good shepherd.
The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep”

(J
OHN
10:11).

Recovery

The following is an acrostic for the word
recovery
.

R—R
EALIZE
that you have been in a legalistic/abusive situation.

•
Acknowledge to yourself, to God, and to someone else that you have been spiritually deceived and deeply wounded.

•
Acknowledge your willingness to have believed the lies you have embraced.

•
Acknowledge your personal responsibility for propagating those lies to others without personally verifying their validity. Remember, the Bible says,

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just
and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
If we claim we have not sinned,
we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives”

(1 J
OHN
1:9-10).

E—E
XERCISE
your freedom in Christ.

•
Renounce being in bondage to the lies of legalism and embrace the truth that you have been forgiven and set free.

•
Renounce your excessive allegiance to any spiritual leader or church and embrace Jesus as your spiritual head and leader.

•
Renounce the laws you have been living under and embrace the One who has set you free from the law. Remember, the Bible says,

“If the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed”

(J
OHN
8:36).

C—C
ORRECT
your concept of God.

•
Study the Bible for yourself to learn the true character of God.

•
Study the books of Galatians and Hebrews and Romans chapters 3–8, which proclaim your liberty in Christ.

•
Study the Gospel of John and the epistle of 1 John to see the loving heart of the Father. Remember, the Bible says,

“How great is the love the Father has lavished on us,
that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!
The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him
”

(1 J
OHN
3:1).

O—O
PEN
yourself to healthy Christian relationships.

•
Realize that your fear and distrust of authentic Christians is based on your abusive situation, then refuse to judge others for the sins of some.

•
Realize that God created you to fellowship with others and that He will use other Christians to bring love, nurture, and healing into your heart.

•
Realize that God wants to use you to bring comfort into the lives of others who have also experienced spiritual abuse. Remember, the Bible says,

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,
the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort,
who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort
those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received
from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives,
so also through Christ our comfort overflows”

(2 C
ORINTHIANS
1:3-5).

V—V
OICE
your cares and concerns to God.

•
Tell God your deepest doubts, hurts, and fears as well as the deepest longings of your heart.

•
Tell the Lord about the guilt and anger you feel over having been deceived.

•
Tell the Lord how you feel about having been used to satisfy the unquenchable hunger of another person for power and position. Remember, the Bible says,

“
Trust in him at all times, O people;
pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge”

(P
SALM
62:8).

E—E
NLIST
the help of spiritually mature, grace-filled mentors.

•
Seek relationships with those who have unquestioned wisdom and integrity.

•
Seek those who love the Lord and who cling to the Word as their guide to knowing God.

•
Seek a spiritual mentor who will encourage you to accurately interpret the Bible for yourself. Remember, the Bible says,

“He who walks with the wise grows wise,
but a companion of fools suffers harm”

(P
ROVERBS
13:20).

R—R
EST
in the finished work of Christ.

•
Deny your fleshly compulsion to do good works in order to gain the approval of God. Claim the righteousness of Christ as your own.

•
Deny condemning thoughts that assault your mind and your emotions. Claim the cleansing forgiveness of Christ, who has washed you whiter than snow.

•
Deny the lie that you need to prove yourself worthy of salvation. Claim the fact that God loved you and Jesus died for you in spite of your sin. Remember, the Bible says,

“At just the right time, when we were still powerless,
Christ died for the ungodly…God demonstrates his own love
for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us”

(R
OMANS
5:6,8).

Y—Y
IELD
yourself to the Holy Spirit, who lives within you.

•
Trust the Holy Spirit to guide you into truth and to protect you from error.

•
Trust the Holy Spirit to empower you to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength and to live a life that is pleasing to Him and that glorifies Him.

•
Trust the Holy Spirit to fulfill God’s promise to conform you to the character of Christ. Remember, the Bible says,

“
When he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all truth.
He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears,
and he will tell you what is yet to come”

(J
OHN
16:13).

“In the essentials, unity. In the nonessentials, liberty.
And in all things, charity.” Precious child of God, you don’t
need to work or to do one more act to gain God’s approval.
You have His approval—you are accepted in the Beloved!

Spiritual Abuse—Answers in God’s Word

Q
UESTION
:
“Why does God make salvation a gift through our faith and not through our works?”

A
NSWER
:
“It is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast” (Ephesians 2:8-9).

Q
UESTION
:
“Once we have been justified by faith, are we still under the law?”

A
NSWER
:
“The law was put in charge to lead us to Christ that we might be justified by faith. Now that faith has come, we are no longer under the supervision of the law” (Galatians 3:24-25).

Q
UESTION
:
“Is my spirituality judged by what I eat or drink or whether I keep the Sabbath day?”

A
NSWER
:
“Do not let anyone judge you by what you eat or drink, or with regard to a religious festival, a New Moon celebration or a Sabbath day. These are a shadow of the things that were to come; the reality, however, is found in Christ” (Colossians 2:16-17).

Q
UESTION
:
“If I can’t become righteous by observing the law, what is the point of the law?”

A
NSWER
:
“No one will be declared righteous in his sight by observing the law; rather, through the law we become conscious of sin” (Romans 3:20).

Q
UESTION
:
“Can I earn righteousness by keeping the law?”

A
NSWER
:
“I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing!” (Galatians 2:21).

Q
UESTION
:
“Is Saturday more sacred than the other days of the week?”

A
NSWER
:
“One man considers one day more sacred than another; another man considers every day alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind” (Romans 14:5).

Q
UESTION
:
“What does the Bible say about trying to win someone’s approval and not being able to say no?”

A
NSWER
:
“Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ” (Galatians 1:10).

Q
UESTION
:
“Why should sin no longer be my master?”

A
NSWER
:
“Sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace” (Romans 6:14).

Q
UESTION
:
“After the passing of the Old Testament law, is there no covenant to live by? Are there no laws?”

A
NSWER
:
“This is the covenant I will make with them after that time, says the Lord. I will put my laws in their hearts, and I will write them on their minds” (Hebrews 10:16).

Q
UESTION
:
“From what has Christ set us free?”

A
NSWER
:
“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery” (Galatians 5:1).

*
Many people contact our ministry with questions about cults and specifically about polygamy.

VERBAL AND EMOTIONAL ABUSE

Victory over Verbal and Emotional Abuse

I. Definitions of Verbal and Emotional Abuse