How to Rise Above Abuse (Counseling Through the Bible Series) (49 page)
Read How to Rise Above Abuse (Counseling Through the Bible Series) Online
Authors: June Hunt
(I
SAIAH
43:18-19).
— Allow your mistreatment to be the making of your ministry to bring comfort to others.
“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,
the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort,
who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those
in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God”
(2 C
ORINTHIANS
1:3-4).
Mistreatment is no stranger to any of us. Why then, in the face of misfortune, do some victims see themselves as having little value, while others live victoriously in light of their true value? What makes the difference?
The victorious Christian learns priceless lessons through victimization, such as sensitivity, empathy, compassion for other vicitms. Reaching out to others with a compassionate heart will give hope to
their
hearts. You can pass this hope of victory on to others and be powerfully used by God.
The blessing comes when you focus not on what you are getting, but on what you are giving. Jesus suffered immense mistreatment, yet He was not burdened with any sense of low self-worth. His ministry of compassion models for us the truth that truly…
“it is more blessed to give than to receive”
(A
CTS
20:35).
As God begins to free us from the old chains of bondage, we begin to see His grace operating in our lives through new channels of personal support and exciting opportunities for service.
The final step toward healing is choosing not to continue to look inward, reliving past pain and sorrow, but choosing to look outward for occasions to help others. Survivors of abuse are especially sensitive and empathetic toward other wounded hearts who need someone to show them the way.
And while you’re reaching out, God is reaching in, touching your heart with the miracle of healing!
“Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free and break every yoke?
Is it not to share your food with the hungry
and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—
when you see the naked, to clothe him,
and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?
Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness will go before you,
and the glory of the L
ORD
will be your rear guard”
(I
SAIAH
58:6-8).
Links of the Chain
Link 1:
Place all of your trust and confidence in God to complete the good work He has begun in you.
Link 2:
Make your relationship with God your first priority.
Link 3:
Respond to the opportunities for personal support and continued spiritual growth that God will place in your path.
— Attend a church that preaches and honors the Word of God.
— Get involved in Bible study and growth seminars.
— Develop a few healthy relationships and establish accountability.
Link 4:
Be prepared for God to open the door of opportunity for you to share small portions of your experience with someone—even before you think you are ready.
— Trust Christ to give you wisdom and appropriate words to say.
— Focus on the hope you have found in Jesus Christ for true healing.
Link 5:
Consider your personal prayer life to be foundational.
Link 6:
Realize your family is the first field of ministry opportunity.
Link 7:
Seek God’s leading when new avenues of ministry open up.
Link 8:
See new people who come into your life as divine appointments from your Lord.
Link 9:
Begin to see your life as a whole new way that God can bring beauty out of ashes.
Link 10:
Recognize the tremendous value of service to others.
“Come and listen, all you who fear God;
let me tell you what he has done for me”
(P
SALM
66:16).
“God wanted to prove that He can take care of a dirty,
unwanted child. He could help me endure the beatings, the
sexual abuse, and the rejection from my father as well as from my
mother. God wanted to prove a point, and He did. Now I have the
privilege of telling thousands of people that God can take ‘nobodys’
and make them into ‘somebodys’ for His name’s sake.”
71
—
DORIE VAN STONE
M. How to Support Survivors on the Road to Becoming Overcomers
Everyone has been touched either directly or indirectly by some form of victimization. That means all of us are in a position now or will be in a position in the future to further a survivor’s journey on the way to becoming an
overcomer…to travel from merely coping to thriving…from struggling to winning…from pain to peace…from victim to victor.
As you travel that road with someone dear to you, make it your goal to…
•
Listen
with your heart, without judging, without questioning.
•
Believe
what you hear, without doubting, without qualifying.
•
Validate
the injury, the feelings, the pain, and the loss with words, with emotional responses, with actions.
•
Comfort
with compassion, with words, with Scripture, without pity.
•
Encourage
counseling, group support, sharing the secrets.
•
Learn
about victimization, about the healing process.
•
Strengthen
in the Lord, with prayer, with Scripture.
•
Express
your thoughts, your feelings, your goals, your boundaries.
•
Support
the healing process, with time, with words, with actions.
•
Respect
the commitment to healing, the time healing takes, the space healing requires, the process of healing.
•
Accommodate
progressive changes, flashbacks, anger.
God heals the broken heart when you give Him all the
pieces. He washes the wounds…mends the mind…
tallies the tears. He empowers you to rise above abuse
and become all He created you to be.
Victimization—Answers in God’s Word
Q
UESTION
:
“How am I to bear up under the pain of unjust suffering? Is there an example for me to follow?”
A
NSWER
:
“It is commendable if a man bears up under the pain of unjust suffering because he is conscious of God…To this you were called, because
Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps” (1 Peter 2:19,21).
Q
UESTION
:
“Where was the Lord when I was so brokenhearted and crushed?”
A
NSWER
:
“The L
ORD
is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18).
Q
UESTION
:
“How can I look forward to the future and know that God will make my path straight when the path of my past was so devastatingly crooked?”
A
NSWER
:
“Trust in the L
ORD
with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight” (Proverbs 3:5-6).
Q
UESTION
:
“Where can I find the rest and the hope that God promises to those who trust in Him for salvation?”
A
NSWER
:
“Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken” (Psalm 62:5-6).
Q
UESTION
:
“After having been terribly hurt by people who should have cared for and protected me, how will I ever be able to trust that God’s will for me is good?”
A
NSWER
:
“Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will” (Romans 12:2).
Q
UESTION
:
“Is there any good news of freedom the Lord has for me, an oppressed prisoner of a painful past?”
A
NSWER
:
“The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed” (Luke 4:18).
Q
UESTION
:
“Am I to confront the people in my life who have sinned against me?”
A
NSWER
:
“If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over” (Matthew 18:15).
Q
UESTION
:
“Can God’s Word actually heal my damaged emotions and rescue my life from what seems like a grave of hopelessness and insecurity?”
A
NSWER
:
“He sent forth his word and healed them; he rescued them from the grave” (Psalm 107:20).
Q
UESTION
:
“How will I ever be free from the pain and damage of my past?”
A
NSWER
:
“If the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed” (John 8:36).
Q
UESTION
:
“Am I to forgive the grievances I have against others who have mistreated me?”
A
NSWER
:
“Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you” (Colossians 3:13).
Pray this promise:
“Heal me, O L
ORD
, and I will be healed; save me
and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise”
(J
EREMIAH
17:14).
B. What Are the Different Types of Abuse?
E. Where Is God in All of This?
II. Characteristics of Wife Abuse
A. What Is the Cycle of Abuse?
B. What Is the Situational Setup for Abuse?
C. What Is the Cost of Being Constantly Abused?
D. What Is the Cost of Being Constantly Abusive?