Happy Kids: The Secrets to Raising Well-Behaved, Contented Children (28 page)

drug abuse 242–3, 245–7

dysfunctional families 55–6

E for additives
(Hanssen) 194

emotional abuse 53

excusing child’s behaviour 142–3

facts of life 69, 248

family meetings

difficult children 117–18

reforming siblings 144–6, 150

stepfamilies 158

family norm 141–2

family time 110

teens 220–1

fighting (siblings) 149–50

fluids 201

food 139–40
see also
diet

food additives 194–7

foster children

absence of respect 51–2

attachment disorder 212–13

autism 209

bad language 68

disregard for consequences 73

‘honeymoon period’ 167, 168–9

ignorance of acceptable behaviour 55–6

impact of moving into care 99–100

initial aloofness with difficult children 177

left to cry as babies 5

promiscuity 251–2

regression 42–3

role of family members 171–2

sanctions 31–2

school discipline 182

smacking banned 11

special needs diagnoses 203, 204–6

taking adult’s chair 137

talking over 130

tantrums 16–17

throwing things 132–3

turning around 32, 56, 88, 112, 137

see also
acting parents

friends (children’s), disciplining 89–90

friends (parent’s), looking after children 190–1

heroin 247

homosexuality 252

house rules 267

differences between families 78–9, 80

reforming siblings 144

teens 230–1

young adults 256

humour 63

imitation 8–9

impudence 128–9

individuality 46, 78

interrupting and talking over 129–30

iron 198

leading (parent first) 136

liberal attitudes 111–12, 181

magnesium 197–8

material possessions 67

mobile phones 67

Monopoly 62

moving house 99–103

Mr Nobody syndrome 73

nannies 191–2

naughty chair 27–8

neglect, unintentional 53

9/11 104

non-verbal communication
see
body language

nursery 37–8

children’s anxieties 43–5

nursery staff 184–8

older teens (15–18 years) 237–52

peer groups influence 239–42

sex and relationships 248–52

smoking, alcohol and drug abuse 242–7

omega-3 oils 198–9, 211

Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) 210–12

and tartrazine 196

parental attention 53

parental peer pressure 85

parent’s chair 136–7

parent’s conversation 139

parent’s phone 138

peer group influence

older teens 239–42

school 66–7, 78

pets, death of 95–6

play 61–3

teamwork and cooperation 71

playfulness 63

politeness 50

difficult children 126–7

ponceau (E124) 197

positive expectations 20–2, 268

teachers 176

praise 30, 54, 73, 84, 268

and 3Rs 13–14, 48, 179

reforming siblings 147, 150

teens 219, 225, 235

precocious children 47–8

pregnancy, teenage 251, 252

pre-teens and early teens (11–15 years) 215–37

attitude 224–5

bad language 226

bedrooms 229–30

communication 219

don’t criticise 219–20

don’t take it personally 223

don’t tease 222

family time 220–1

give responsibility 221

golden rules 218–24

guide 220

hear their views 218–19

house rules 230–1

image 227

praise 219

privacy 218

rewards 235

safety 221–2

sanctions 233–5

3Rs 220, 223–4, 225, 228–9, 235–6

truancy 231–3

unwelcome habits 228–9

preschool staff 184–8

preschoolers
see
rising fives

presence 174

privacy 218, 269

puberty 215

quality time 53, 269

difficult children 123–4

young adults 262–3

quiet time
see
time out

quinoline yellow (E104) 196

reasonableness 22–4, 26

redundancy 98–9

regression

older children 42–3

preschoolers 41–2

relatives looking after children 190–1

respect 49–53, 269

children and teachers 183–4

‘respite’ fostering 165, 205–6

responsibility 269

for bad behaviour 74–7

siblings 108, 147–8

teens 221

restraining 60

reverse psychology 17

rewards 30

reforming siblings 146

teens 235

toddlers 15–16

rising fives/preschoolers (3–5 years) 36–48

behaviour and character 45–8

morning routine 38–40

nursery 37–8

nursery anxieties 43–5

regression 41–3

Ritalin 204

role playing 61–2

routine 1, 2, 267

acting parents 163–5

babies’ daytime 6–8

children with autism/Asperger’s 207–8

in day care 185–6

difficult children 116–17

during bereavement 94–5

preschoolers’ morning 38–40

reforming siblings 144

rudeness and aggression 127

safety

balance with independence 80–3

teens 221–2

salt 201

sanctions 31–2

difficult children 123

teens 233–5

school
see
big fish; starting school; teachers; truancy

‘self-fulfilling prophecy’ 21, 176

selfishness 130–1

separation anxiety 164, 172

sex and relationships 248–52

sexual abuse 182

siblings 34–5, 106–10, 269

dos and don’ts 108–10

play together and apart 61

reasons for fighting 107–8

reforming 143–51

sleep, babies 2–3

bed-sharing 4

crying to 5–6

daytime routine 6–8

3Rs 3–4, 8

smacking 11, 53, 192, 268

smoking 242–3, 244–5

special needs 202–14

Spock, Dr 1, 9

star charts 30, 146

starting school (5–8 years) 64–77

bad language 68–70

being disliked by your child 72

bullying 70–1

cause and effect 73–4

school influence 65–7

taking responsibility for bad behaviour 74–7

STDs (sexually transmitted diseases) 251, 252

stealing 77

step-parents 152–61

being tested 157–8

bonding and fairness 159–60

don’t blame the stepfamily 160–1

don’t criticise the estranged parent 156

observe family dynamics 155–6

older stepchildren 154–5

out-of-control children 158–9

parenting essentials 161

use what works 157

young stepchildren 153–4

stress 91–2

manifestation in children 92

sugar high 199

sunset yellow (E110) 195–6

swearing 68–70, 226

tantrums 14–15

older children 16–17

tartrazine (E102) 196–7

teachers 172–84, 135

avoid over-familiarity 177

and children’s home life 182

class dynamics 182

don’t reward bad behaviour 180

gaining attention 175

initial aloofness 177

keep physical distance 178

no discussion 181

parents working with 65–6

positive expectations 176

presence 174

and respect 183–4

and teaching assistants 181

using the 3Rs 179

using time out 183

voice modulation 175–6

techniques 20–35, 49–63

teenagers

closed choice 33–4

time out 59

turning around unacceptable behaviour 56

see also
pre-teens and early teens; older teens

television/computer sanctions 31–2

terrible twos 9–10

third person 28–9, 268

3Rs (Request, Repeat, Reassure/Reaffirm) 10, 266