Finding an Angel (13 page)

We are quiet for a moment. Honestly, for a moment there, I thought she fell asleep.

“The voices are back,” she says quietly.

Unable to hold back any longer, I ask. “Will you tell me about them? It’s the one thing you’ve never really opened up about with me.”

“I didn’t want you to…”

Kissing her soundly, I stop her from saying something bad about herself. “Don’t talk bad about my future wife.”

A small smile plays on her lips and she rests back against me. “There are bad ones and there are good ones. Miss Molly and Miss Lily they were the good voices.”

Leaning forward, I pull out my gift for her. “How about you call her Miss Daisy?”

Her smile is blinding. “Thank you so much!” She hugs the doll to her tightly.

For a moment, I thought maybe she forgot she was explaining the voices to me. But just as I open my mouth to ask a question she continues.

“So I carried them around with me everywhere so I could hopefully drown out the bad. The bad voices scare me. They are these black scary things with beady red eyes. When they aren’t fighting, the good and the bad, the bad voices are telling me how stupid I am, to kill myself, that I’m ruining everyone’s lives… You know…”

“What do you mean when they are fighting?” It takes everything out of me not to show the pain I am feeling for her.

“They fight against each other to decide if I deserve to live or die…”

My memory flashes back to the horrible moment that still sneaks up on me in my dreams.

“So that day, when we came to thank you for our paintings…” I’m unable to finish and I can feel tears in my eyes.

“The bad won.”

“But they went away for a while?”

“Yeah with my medication they had me on and being with you,” she ends softly.

“Well, you have me forever and always. So have they changed your medication because of the pregnancy?” And for the first time, I rest my hands on her belly. “Wow,” I breathe, amazed.

She places her hands over mine and smiles up at me. “I love you Hunter.”

“God, I thought I’d never hear you say that again,” I claim her mouth in a fiercely possessive kiss.

“Wow,” she breathes when I break away.

“Never do that to me again.”

“I won’t. I promise. I’m yours forever,” she promises.

“Good because that killed me, Angel. You are my everything. More than that. Please understand, I’ve missed nothing because everything I’ll ever need or want is right here in my arms.”

A tear slips down her cheek and I reach up and wipe it away. Shaking her head, she goes back to my original question.

“Yes, they had to lower my dose of
Geodon
that I was taking and that’s what helped with the voices the most.”

“Is it not safe to take right now?”

“It’s not that. Well, it kind of is because they can’t be certain of the effects on our baby, so they are just taking precautions. If I’m a bit skittish, please understand why. Please.”

“Of course I do, Angel. Thick or thin, I’m right here.”

Shaking her head, she laces our fingers together. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but I hope to never lose you again.”

“Never. You didn’t lose me before, you won’t lose me now or in the future. You’ve been it for me since we were seven years old, Angel. Someday I pray you see yourself the way that I do.”

Lifting her head, she meets my eyes and tears fall down her temples. “Someday I hope to be the woman you see.”

“You already are,” I breathe before kissing her. “Now, should we tell your parents about our engagement?”

She beams as she wipes away the tears. “You know they said that you’d never give up on me. That they’d bet their last dollar on it.”

“Well, they’d win then, wouldn’t they?”

Helping her stand, I push to stand next to her. Pulling her into my arms, I kiss her with all that I’m worth. Showing her with this kiss all the love I have for her, my hands move to her hair and I tighten them at the base to deepen the kiss.

“Whoa,” she stumbles a bit, but I don’t mind. It gives me another excuse to hold her.

“Yeah. I love you, Jessa. I’m surprised not to see my parents here,” I laugh until I see her face. “What?”

“I kind of cut your parents out of my life when I cut you out. They don’t know about the pregnancy or anything.”

Shaking my head, I smirk. “You stubborn woman,” I laugh and she soon joins me.

“My parents can call them over though. They call and talk all the time still.”

“My guess is they are already there by my surprise show up at your house and not mine,” I laugh as I lift her into my arms and carry her over the creek.

Sure enough as we walk back and get in sight of the house my parents are sitting with Jessa’s.

“Mom, Dad, I’m glad you’re here. We have some great news. I’ve asked Jessa to marry me and she said yes. Then of course I get the shock of a lifetime when she turns around and I find out that I’m going to be a father,” I beam.

Mom spits out her drink and Dad coughs pounding on his chest. Both rise from their chairs and head our way, I see the tears shimmering in my mom’s eyes.

“My boy,” she chokes out.

Wrapping her in my arms, I hug her. “I love you, Mama.”

My father shocks me by a real hug and a strong one. “I love you too Pops.”

They both turn to Jessa, who was visibly shaking, to shower her with love that she wasn’t expecting.

“My darling child, never cut us off like that. It hurt just as bad as watching my baby boy drive away to go to college.”

“I’m sorry, Ma’am,” Jess mumbles.

“No need to apologize honey. We talked to your parents. They told us that they think you were just having a hard time adjusting to being without our son,” my father states as he comes to give me a hug.

“How’s school going?”

“Well, I think. But I don’t want to go back now. I want to be here for Jessa every step of the way for our new journey together into parenthood.”

Jessa spun around so quickly, I thought she’d fall over so I reached out for her. Her face was hard to read for the first time ever since I met her. However, I know what she’s going to say.

“Jessa, Angel, I know you want me to go to school and get my degree. But even before I found out you were pregnant, I was already considering coming back. Baby, it’s one thing to reach for a dream, but it’s a whole different thing to reach for a dream that you spouted off that you wanted just because your parents were pushing to know.”

She looks at my parents as confused as them. “You don’t want to be an architect?”

“No, not really. I want to get in there get my hands dirty and build a name for myself. I’ve already been in talks with a guy here. His name is Davis. He would gladly take me on and let me work my way up and eventually when I’m ready, he’d hand the reins over to me to keep the company going.”

“Doesn’t he have his own kids to hand it down to?” My father questions.

“No because unlike how lucky I have been over the years. His wife was unable to be saved because no one listened or believed them about what she was going through. He never remarried or dated after that. Her focal point was building things. He said she was incredible at it. When I told him about my Jessa, he told me that he’d knew he’d find just the right person to take over
I’m Just Me Construction
. I’d really like to work for him. He does great work in the community for those with special needs, but does his best to bring awareness for what his wife suffered.”

Tears fall down Jessa’s face and she moves her hands to her belly. My hands rest on top of hers. Leaning in, I kiss her lightly on the lips and kiss each eye before her mouth one last time.

“I can provide for our family. Find us a great place to live. We would do well, Angel.
This
is the dream I’ve always wanted. To marry you, have a family, to share the rest of our days loving each other as we both deserve. Please tell me this is a dream we can share together.”

A choked laugh escapes her beautiful lips as the tears continue to fall. “I’d say that me being in the equation is a must wouldn’t you?”

Smiling, I nod my head. “That you are.”

“So have you thought about where you want to live at,” Jessa’s mother asks.

“Yes, actually. If you’re all up for it, I can show you now?”

We all climb into our vehicles. It’s as we are driving that I look at Jessa and wonder for a moment if she wants this.

“Angel, if none of this is what you want then we don’t have to do any of it. But if you could please, wait until you see the place. I have a feeling you’re going to love it.”

“Okay,” her voice is small. “How… how close to other people would we be?”

“We wouldn’t. It’s about the same amount of land as our parents’ put together.”

“Oh, okay.”

Reaching across, I take her hand. “Please tell me if you don’t like something okay? We can figure out something else. Okay?”

She turns to me and smiles. “I’ll do my best, but I have a feeling that I won’t need to.”

Smiling in return, I squeeze her hand. “Why’s that?”

“Because you know me better than I know myself sometimes. You’ll know before I can say anything to you,” she laughs.

Unable to do anything else, I join her laughter. The statement, however, is true. I do know her better than she knows herself sometimes. At the same time though, I don’t want to continuously guess what she’s feeling, I need her to express it to me as well.

Turning left down a gravel road that leads out to the house, she looks at me and smirks, “Well great now I have to pee.”

The laughter that fills the car is both of relief and of love. Reaching over once again, I run my hand on her belly.

“Do we know if we’ll be having a son or a daughter?”

“Don’t know. Could be both. We’ll find out next month.”

Pulling into the driveway in front of the pink house that to the right of it has a incredible flower garden that no matter the time of year will have flowers, I have been told.

“I’m sorry, but explain to me how it can be both,” I ask nervously.

“Oh in all the excitement, I forgot to tell you. We’re having twins,” and then she quickly exits the car.

“Holy shit! Twins,” I mutter to the inside of the car before shaking off the shock and joining everyone at the bottom of the stairs.

“Flowers, Hunter, there’re so many flowers and the house is pink.”

“Yes, I was told that there are flowers planted there to bloom no matter the temperature, so there’ll always be flowers. A creek flows just down that hill, but it’s deeper so we may want to think about fencing if you decide you like the place.”

Helping Jessa up the steps, even though she really didn’t need it, I still wanted to. I pull the keys from my pocket and unlock the door. Pushing it open, I allow everyone to go inside before me as they look around.

Jessa stays standing in the entry way while our parents branch out to look around. I grab Jessa’s hand and lead her to what will – if she accepts it – be our room. The thought of sharing a room with her sends thrills up and down my spine. That weekend had been both a blessing and a torture because every night after that I had reached for her and she wasn’t there.

“This would be our room. Have a look,” I sweep my hand in to allow her access.

She walks slowly in the room, running her hands across every bit of furniture in the room. My thoughts are drawn back to our more intimate times and I have to shake the thoughts from my head and focus on the details.

“The house comes completely furnished. So everything is ours. It’s brand new.”

She nods her head, but stays silent. This is how the whole tour of the house goes. She doesn’t say anything through all four other bedrooms, four and a half baths, finished basement and attic. It isn’t until we are standing down near the creek that she looks at me with tears in her eyes.

“What’s wrong, Angel?”

“This place is beautiful. I can see our family growing here.”

“But,” I question.

“But it’s so far from our parents, my safety net, I’m worried…”

“There’s a four bay garage in the back of the house it has two in-law suites in it. Each are one bedroom with kitchen living and dining room and bathroom of course. If you got homesick, they can come here and stay with you whenever you needed them close.”

“They could?”

“Yes, Angel. I’d never take you away from them. When I talked to Davis about your bond with your parents he said his wife was the same way that’s why they had that built.”

“This was their house,” her voice trembling.

“It would have been yes. It’s never been lived in. He gave me an incredible deal and if you like it, it’s ours. So what do you say? If you say yes, we can move in right after we’re married.”

She looks back up in the direction of the house that you can’t really see, but she looks that way anyway. After a moment or two, she looks at me tears dropping from her eyes.