Fervor (2 page)

"Of course
you're not fine don't lie to your mother, regardless of what's going on you
need your family at a time like this, we need to regroup and come up with some
kind of plan. Jane has been calling here nonstop looking for you, something
about a statement. Suzette called and I had to restrain your sister in law from
reaching through the phone and strangling her." My girl Connie I felt the
first smile in a week cross my face. Connie was a grade A bitch but when she
was on your side you had no worries. I had no doubt she would tear Suzette a
new one but that was my job, I had to leave my little hideaway and go handle my
shit. I wasn't surprised the skank had called my house, how she found the nerve
was beyond me though, the girl I knew was a timid little thing afraid of her
shadow. She must really be desperate if she was willing to confront Linda's
wrath over the phone. She had to know my family would want nothing to do with
her right now, at least I thought she knew us that much. We're a clannish bunch
us Maddox we stick together no matter what.

"Mom I
just needed to get away for a while, clear my head you know, but I really am
better now. I just needed some alone time out of the public eye I think I've
had enough of that shit to last me a lifetime."

"Oh you
don't have to worry about the vultures, for the first few days they were camped
outside the gates, but I took care of that shit right quick". Did I
mention I got my potty mouth from mom? Funny as hell, here she is the
sophisticated little bundle of beauty who stood all of five foot six, her blond
beauty a throw back to a different era, to see her you wouldn't think butter
would melt in her mouth but when she got riled up that little sailor that lived
inside came out. I think I learned my first cuss word from her.

"Oh yeah
what did you do?"

"I decided
to take a walk with Zeus and Xerxes...without a leash"

I felt the
laughter start in the pit of my guts and work its way up and out.

"Oh man I
would loved to have seen that." I couldn't stop laughing at the picture in
my head. Zeus and Xerxes were two Doberman pinchers with a mean streak a mile
wide, if you weren't family or friend they'd try to eat your ass. I could just
see the paparazzi scattering.

"Did they
get any of them?" I wouldn’t mind hearing they’d eaten one of the fucks.

"Nah they
scattered to the wind but it was a sight, Brian got pictures and your dad got
good video, it's been good for a few laughs around here I can tell you that. So
when are you coming home son?'

And just like
that I knew I was ready to go, not to lie in her lap like a baby, but to be
around her warmth and her support, to have my older brother try to joke me out
of my funk the way he has been my whole life. The only problem might be the
girls, Tiffany and Suzette were like sisters separated at birth, they were
constantly talking to each other, and I don't know what was going on with that
now though. I knew no matter what my sis would be on my side and that just got
me to thinking, who did Suzette have in her corner? I'm sure her mom and dad
and her brothers would be there for her, but most of our friends were of the
mutual kind and since most if not all of them were on my voicemail cussing her
out, I didn't know who she had left. Connie was a no brainier she liked Suzette
okay but she was a loyal bitch and no one messed with family or she would go
Rambo on their ass. Connie and Brian had been together since college and in our
family she was more than just an in law she was one of us. Bitch was hardcore.

"I'll be
there later tonight." Okay then, it was settled, I was going home. I'd
have to call Jane my PR rep sometime today but right now I didn't want to deal
with it, I wanted nothing to do with anything Hollywood for the next little
while.

"Okay son
I'll let the others know you're coming and don't worry everything's going to be
just fine."

"Yeah?"
I smiled through my pain again.

"Would I lie
to you? You go do what you have to do in order to get here, I love you son I'll
see you soon."

We said our
goodbyes and hung up. I stretched my arms over my head and gave the computer
the stink eye; hey I'd gone a whole ten minutes without cussing skanky hoe and
douchetard; alrighty then progress.

Fuck me my dog,
how could I have gone all this time without checking on him? I am a bad parent.
Okay so Rex is just a dog but he's mine, I'd saved him from that killing zone
in L.A, well okay it wasn't just me but his bitch of a mother didn't count,
bitch is dead, nough said. Anyway after I had gone terminator on my house I had
found Rex cowering in the laundry room whining, shit almost broke my heart, so
I'd made arrangements to have him sent home to grandma's house. I knew my mom
would take good care of him, my mom is a dog person, but still he was my
responsibility, I should've done better, damn. He must be wondering what the
fuck was going on in his world, the two people who took care of him had been
missing for a week, poor little thing and of course my little show must've
scarred him for life, shit.

I was on my way
home, the drive was a good six hours but it would do me good help clear my
head. I planned on driving right through, no pit stops, heaven forbid I should
stop for gas or something and see a Tab and lose my fucking shit, nah better
not risk it until I was civilized again.

I had my iPod
blasting my warrior tunes, all gangsta shit, I had Ice Cube gangsta rap made me
do it on repeat, shit was hot. Uhm maybe I shouldn't be listening to this shit
right now, cause shit really made me feel like fucking somebody's shit up. Oh I
know my day was coming no way was I letting that motherfucker Terry Poole get
one over on me, first chance I get I'm gonna go Sparta on his ass. "I'm
motherfucking Maddox biatch." Shit did I just say that out loud?

Home, yeah um
why was it that as soon as I saw the gates of home I felt like crying? Dude
when did you grow a vagina? Grow a motherfucking pair. Okay heads up Maddox,
you can do this shit. Yeah but how do you face your nearest and dearest when
you felt like a piece of shit? They knew, more than any one else anywhere they
knew what she was to me, what we were together, what we all thought would be forever.
They knew about great grandma's ring that I had resized for her. Oh shit I felt
bile rising in my throat. No Gage you most definitely do not need a drink,
hooch will not solve your problems. Oh yeah did I mention that I've been
talking to myself a lot since this shit happened? If it weren’t me doing it I
would find this shit hilarious, but since it is me, can't say that it's so
funny.

I drove down
the long ass driveway to the monstrosity I was raised in, looked like every
light in that motherfucker was blazing. Before I could turn the car off the
front door was thrown open and a whirlwind descended, I barely got the door
open before I was holding my sister in my arms. Shit she was crying.

"Okay
Tiffany, it's okay." I held her close and comforted her the best I could
while watching the rest of my family including her husband Derrick coming down
the steps. She pulled back in my arms shaking her head while drying her tears.
She opened her mouth as if to speak but then just shook her head and squeezed me
as tight as her little arms could. I kissed the top of her head and passed her
off to Derrick as my mother took her place.

"Welcome
home son, it's all going to be fine now, come on inside." My dad patted my
back as I passed him, Brian was surprisingly quiet which I don't think I had
ever seen, Connie had red-rimmed eyes as she reached over to kiss my cheek. I
heard feet scrambling on the marble floors as we entered and knelt down to give
my baby some love.

"Hey Rex,
hey boy, how you doing?"

"He cried
the whole first day he was here but Zeus and Xerxes have been keeping him busy
so he finally settled in." Mom bent to kiss my head as she went towards
the kitchen.

I roughhoused
with my dog just happy as shit that he still remembered me and wasn't mad at me
for deserting him. I followed the family into the kitchen where mom had a
spread going on, she'd made my favorite, lasagna with Parmesan garlic bread. My
stomach growled and my mouth watered, I felt hunger for the first time in days.
No one mentioned the fuckery that was my life as we gathered around the kitchen
table eating, but every once in a while I would catch Brian looking at me. The
last time I looked he inclined his head towards the back yard. Alrighty then.

"Mom this
is amazing thanks, thank all of you for being here it really means a lot to
me."

My family lived
close to each other all within an hour of here but they all had their own
lives. Brian ran the construction side of the family bizz, Derrick was an
Architect, Tiffany had her own designing company and Connie stayed home with my
nephew Jonathan, before that she ran her own mechanic shop of all things. The
fact that they were all here on a weeknight meant they had probably taken time
off from their own lives to be here for me, and where was I? Hiding away like a
jackass.

I decided to
put Brian out of his misery and followed him outside while mom and the girls
cleared the dishes and cleaned up. I wasn't at all surprised when Derrick and
pops followed us outside. It was powwow time.

Brian started
shit off. "So what the fuck Gage, what're we gonna do about this shit? Say
the word and I'll have that fucker in traction..."

I would laugh
if I didn't know how serious he was. Brian was a big softie, but when shit was
real big bro was a beast.

"Brian..."

"Fuck that
shit dad, this is my little brother, no one fucks with him and live."

"Yeah but
Brian we need to keep a cool head here, we can't rush into anything. First
things first Gage how much do you know about the situation?"

That was
Derrick, always the cool one; Okay we're gonna do this now. I took a deep
breath and tried to compose myself. I didn't think this shit would be this
hard, damn. Shit is whacked.

"All I
know is what she told me, which wasn't much." I felt that bitter taste of
bile in my throat again just thinking about it.

"It was
right after we left the stage at the awards show, I don't know, maybe someone
called and gave her a heads up about the pictures cause she told me they caught
them kissing."

"What,
that's the first time and that's all she said?

"Yeah
Derrick that's it. Needless to say I lost my shit right then and there took
everything in me not to fuck the whole place up." I ran my hands through
my hair in frustration.

"Well the
first thing we need to do is see what the fuck is being said, you can't fight
this shit if you don't know what you're up against. You know these fucks better
than we do you deal with them everyday. I know some of this shit is fabricated
but we need to figure out what's real and what's not. Have you been watching
the news at all?"

"No
Brian...well I saw the pics on the web but that's as far as I've gone."

"Well gear
up brother cause we're going swimming through this whole pile of shit, you'll
know what's real and what's not, then we can go from there."

"How the
fuck will I know? I slept next to the woman and didn't know she was fucking
another man's dick." Shit I think I'm going to be sick, my fucking heart
was doing that thing where it tried to climb out my mouth again.

"Gage son,
you don't know that that's what happened..."

"Dad what
the fuck...Have you seen those motherfucking pictures? Dude was all over her
ass, that did not look like a one-time thing to me or whatever the fuck she
said in her weak ass attempt at an apology. And who gives a fuck SHE FUCKING
CHEATED ON ME." Alright then, I could see where maybe I had some issues
with anger but who could fucking blame me, I mean WHAT THE FUCK?

So I spent the
next few hours in my private study going through the headlines and Tumblr and
all that other shit. And let me tell you, some of this shit made me postal as
fuck. I opted to do this shit alone because seriously, I had no idea how I was
going to react to any of this shit. Did my family actually see this shit? This
shit was whacked.

What the fuck
was a moving truck doing on my property? She didn't have anything left to move,
I destroyed all her shit, the only thing left at my place were my clothes and
furniture and some art work and I know that bitch wasn't crazy enough to take
my shit. I had broken the piano and guitars she bought me into kindling, fuck
her.

I read some of
the fan sites cause let's face it, sometimes these fuckers knew more about what
the fuck was going on than anyone else. Then I came across something that
really made me lose my shit and before I knew what was going on my dad and
brothers were holding me down. What the fuck?

"Calm down
Gage." Brian.

"Come on
Gage, deep breaths." Derrick.

"Son come
on let's get out of here, maybe you shouldn't do this now, save it for
later"