Authors: Cheryl Douglas
Tags: #cheryl douglas nashville nights next generation series romance contemporary rich successful sexy country music cowboy
“You still
think you’re not cut out for marriage?”
He could tell
she was holding her breath, awaiting his response. “What if I said
I hadn’t changed my mind about that, Lauren? What do you want?
Where do you want to be in five years?”
She took her
time drawing figure eights on his chest with the tip of her
fingernail before she said, “I hope to be married. I’d like to have
a couple of kids.”
His heart
almost stopped beating, though he couldn’t say why her words came
as a shock. He told himself he’d prepared for the worst case
scenario, but the reality was so much more heart-wrenching than he
could have imagined. He would destroy her.
“Say
something,” she whispered.
He swallowed
repeatedly, emotion nearly choking him. “That can’t happen with me,
angel.”
“You said you
loved me.”
He cursed when
he felt her tears fall on his chest. “Please don’t cry, honey.” He
would give anything to take her pain away. She didn’t deserve it.
The only mistake she’d made was falling in love with him.
“So, where do
we go from here?” She tried to clear her throat, but her voice
still sounded broken when she said, “You claim to love me, but you
don’t want a future with me.”
“I never said
that. I do want a future with you.” He’d never wanted anything
more, but he wasn’t selfish enough to try to redefine her dreams.
“I want to wake up with you every morning, fall asleep with you in
my arms every night…” That was his dream, the only thing he needed
to make his life complete.
“So you want me
to live with you?” She propped herself up on one elbow and looked
down at him. “You don’t want to marry me or have a baby with me,
but you don’t mind shacking up with me. Why is that? Would it make
it easier to walk away if you don’t promise to stay with me
forever?”
He would gladly
give her a promise of forever, a sparkly diamond ring, a lavish
wedding in front of all of their family and friends, but he knew
that wouldn’t be enough. Eventually the void in her heart would
grow bigger, and he would have to live with the knowledge that she
was settling because she’d fallen in love with him. He wouldn’t do
that to her, no matter what she said.
“Baby, I’d give
anything to stay with you forever, but I can’t. It wouldn’t be fair
to you.”
Lauren scraped
her nails over her scalp. “Would you stop talking in riddles? Just
tell me what the hell you’re talking about already!”
“I had a
vasectomy.”
She released a
rush of air before pulling her legs up to her chin and wrapping her
arms around them.
Her back was
toward him, but he saw her shoulders trembling. “I’m so sorry,” he
whispered. “I know I should have told you sooner, but I couldn’t. I
didn’t want to lose you.” He winced when she turned her head and he
saw the anguished look in her eyes. “You must hate me.”
She wiped away
the tears bathing her cheeks. “When did you get the operation?”
“After Monica
was born.” If he’d known then that he would meet Lauren, someone
who made him want to start his life all over again, he would never
have made that choice. He’d give everything for the privilege of
sharing a child with her.
“So that’s why
you said you didn’t want to get married and have children, because
you knew you couldn’t.”
He knew
disbelief and sadness were making way for anger and frustration
when she shot him a scathing look. “When I said I’d never get
married again, I never thought I’d meet someone like you.” He knew
his words probably sounded hollow, but he still needed her to know
how much she meant to him.
She buried her
head in the circle of her arms when a sob escaped her lips. “I
can’t believe this.”
He sat up,
wrapping an arm around her as she cried. “I’m sorry. If I could
change things, I would.” He knew he could have the vasectomy
reversed, but chances were still slim he could give Lauren the
family she wanted.
“But you can’t.
No one can. I just have to accept the fact I fell in love with the
wrong man.”
Her words
landed like a solid punch to the gut. She had every right to be
angry with him for not telling her the truth from the beginning,
but he never wanted her to regret falling in love with him. “I’m
sorry you feel that way.”
“How the hell
do you expect me to feel?” she shouted, jumping up. “I love you! I
want to marry you! I want to have your babies!” She threw a pillow
at him. “And you’ve just taken that away from me! I hate you!”
He slid to the
edge of the bed, grabbing her around the waist to restrain her.
She struggled
for a few seconds before surrendering. “I don’t know what to do
now.”
“What you have
to do.” Tucker looked her in the eye, trying to ignore his body’s
reaction to her breasts thrust in his face. “You have to get on
with your life, forget you ever met me.” He felt sick to his
stomach just saying those words, but her happiness was worth any
sacrifice he had to make.
“How am I
supposed to do that?” Twin tears slid down her cheeks. “I love you.
I want to be with you, but I’m not going to lie; I want a family of
my own too.”
“And you
deserve to have that family.” He tasted the bile burning the back
of his throat as his mind conjured up an image of Lauren pregnant
with another man’s baby. “You’re gonna meet a man who can give you
everything one day, angel.” He blinked back the tears, praying she
couldn’t see them. If she knew how torn up he was, convincing her
to move on with her life would only be harder. “I’m just not that
guy.”
“But I want
you.” She held her hand against his cheek, and he turned into it,
closing his eyes. “I can’t even imagine wanting anyone else.”
Tucker held her
hand against his face, breathing in the subtle scent of her
perfume, knowing he would never forget all of the little things
that made her unique. “But you will. It’s gonna hurt at first…” He
knew the pain he experienced would be unlike anything he’d ever
felt, but part of him wished she would meet someone new, someone
who could help her forget. The other part of him wanted to tear
apart any man who looked at her too long, much less thought about
putting his hands on her. “But you’ll get over it. You’ll look back
on this one day and realize you made the right choice leaving
me.”
“What if I
don’t want to leave you?”
Hope leapt to
life before he quashed it. “I’m not giving you a choice. I’m not
going to let you ruin your life because of me. Your father was
right. You could do so much better.”
“My father
doesn’t know how much you mean to me.” Holding his face between her
hands, she said, “I don’t think you realize how much you mean to
me, Tucker.”
“You need to go
now, baby.” If she didn’t, he would beg her to stay, and he
couldn’t do that to her.
“Tucker-”
“I don’t want
to hear it.” He lowered his head so he wouldn’t have to see the
hurt in her eyes. “It’s over, Lauren.”
***
Lauren’s
project was finally over, and it felt as if her life was too. Weeks
had passed since she’d seen Tucker. He’d handed the project over to
Will when he found a cabinet maker in Memphis to finish the rest of
his work.
She’d handed
the keys off to Sela and hoped that relinquishing the house would
ease the heaviness in her heart. If anything, it made her feel
worse. Her last link to Tucker... severed.
J.T. walked up
to her booth, a grin splitting his face. “Hey, I didn’t see you
come in. Where you been hidin’, girl? Your mama and I’ve missed
you.” He kissed her cheek before sliding into the bench seat across
from her.
“I’ve been busy
with the house.” She forced a smile. The last thing she needed was
to deal with her father’s questions. “On to the next one.” She’d
secured a small bungalow in a nicer part of town. It had fallen
into disrepair when the aging woman’s husband passed on. Lauren
gave her a fair price for the property, enabling her to move into
an assisted living facility close to her family.
“You okay? You
look a little tired.” He gave her a quick once-over. “Have you lost
weight?”
That happened
when one couldn’t eat or sleep. “I’m fine, Daddy.” She patted his
hand. “Don’t worry about me.”
“This has
somethin’ to do with Tucker, doesn’t it?”
She dropped her
head. “Please don’t. I don’t want to do this tonight.”
“He came in to
see me a while back.”
Lauren couldn’t
hide her surprise. She assumed her father would be the last person
Tucker wanted to see. “What did he want?”
“He wanted me
to keep an eye on you. Told me you might be goin’ through a rough
time, and he wanted me to make sure you were okay.” He gave her a
pointed look that made her squirm. “Your mama and I’ve both been
callin’, textin’, even stopped by your place a time or two.”
“I’m sorry I
didn’t respond. Like I said, I’ve been busy.” That much was true,
but she had kept her distance from her parents on purpose. She
didn’t feel strong enough to deal with their questions.
“You haven’t
even been to the Spencers’ house for Sunday dinner. Apparently
we’re not the only ones who haven’t seen you. Anna and Ava said
you’ve been quiet.”
His inquisition
was going from bad to worse. She didn’t want to tell her father the
truth about Tucker, but she didn’t know how much longer she could
avoid it. “I’m meeting Ava here in a little bit.” She raised her
right hand. “I’ll call Mom and Anna tomorrow, I promise.”
Poor Anna.
Lauren was being a terrible maid of honor. She was so wrapped up in
her own problems she hadn’t even bothered to ask Anna whether she
needed help planning her wedding. She would have to make amends
with her cousin.
“Was Tucker
right? Do I have reason to be worried about you?”
“No, I’m fine.”
She glanced at the band taking the stage, hoping J.T. wouldn’t
guess she was trying to avoid eye contact.
“Your uncle
Derek seems to think I was wrong about Tucker.”
Lauren’s eyes
flicked to J.T. “Really? Why does he think that?”
“Tucker’s done
everything he can to make sure Rob gets what he deserves. The guy
couldn’t make bail, so they’ve detained him, but Tucker’s worried
he might get off, this bein’ a first offense and all. He doesn’t
want to see that happen any more than I do.”
She’d assumed
Tucker’d stopped caring about what happened to her when he told her
she’d be better off without him. “Does Uncle Derek think that might
happen?” Security in her building was tight, but she still couldn’t
rest easy knowing that animal was walking the streets. She refused
to live in fear, but stopping by job sites after hours didn’t seem
like the best idea if he may be released. “Uncle Derek will keep me
informed, right? If the case goes to trial, I want to testify.”
J.T. regarded
her carefully before shaking his head. “Why didn’t I see it
before?”
“What’s that?”
she asked, trying to read the odd expression on J.T.’s face. He
looked sad, almost wistful.
“My baby’s all
grown up. You don’t need me to protect you anymore, do you?”
Lauren grabbed
her father’s hand as she willed the tears not to fall. “I’m always
going to need you.”
“When Tucker
came into your life, I was scared. I knew his reputation and didn’t
want to see you get caught up in a dangerous situation.” He sighed.
“But I refused to acknowledge the obvious. You’re a strong, smart
woman, Lauren. I should’ve known you wouldn’t allow yourself to be
taken in by the wrong man.”
Lauren didn’t
know how to respond. Tucker was the right man for her, she felt it,
but if he didn’t believe that, she wouldn’t humiliate herself
trying to convince him. “Uncle Derek is right about Tucker. He is a
good man.” She looked her father in the eye. “You were dead wrong
about him.”
“But he hurt
you?”
“He hurt me
because he was trying to save me. He didn’t want me to make
sacrifices he didn’t feel I should have to make just to be with
him.”
“Would you have
willingly made those sacrifices?”
Lauren was
grateful her father wasn’t asking for details. She still felt too
raw to talk about it, especially with J.T. “At first, I didn’t know
how I felt. I was in shock. But after I had some time to think
about it, I realized I want to be with him, no matter the
compromises.”
“Did you try
tellin’ him that?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
Lauren smiled.
“Tucker’s stubborn, just like you. When he makes his mind up, he
doesn’t change it.”
J.T. got to his
feet when he saw Ava walking toward their table. “Ah, but I did
change my mind… about him. Maybe if you tell Tucker how you feel,
he’ll surprise you. He could be hurtin’ just as much as you are,
honey.”
Lauren felt as
if she was in the Twilight Zone. Who was that reasonable man and
what had he done with her over-bearing, opinionated father? “You
really think I should try to work things out with him?”
“Does bein’
with him make you happy?”
“Yes.”
J.T. reached
for her hand, kissing it. “That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you,
sweetheart. I love you, and I hate seein’ you so miserable. If this
guy’s the one, don’t let him go.”
Lauren stood up
to give her father a hug. “Thank you.” His support was the blessing
she needed to move forward with Tucker. Her family meant the world
to her, and as much as she loved Tucker, she didn’t want her
relationship with him to create a rift between herself and the
other people she loved.
“My pleasure.”
J.T. gave her one more squeeze before opening his arms to Ava.
“Hey, beautiful. Good to see you.”
“You too, J.T.”
She gave him a kiss on the cheek before greeting Lauren with a hug.
“I was so glad you called. I missed you.”