Face Value (21 page)

Tucker took her
hand and brought it to his lips as he fixated on her eyes. Moments
passed before he smiled and said, “That’s supposed to be my line.
You’re a guest in my home, remember?”

Lauren blushed
and dipped her head. “I didn’t mean to over-step. I just wanted to
do something to make you feel better.”

He wrapped his
arm around her waist, pulled her closer, and buried his face in her
hair. “Just having you here makes me feel better. Stay with me
tonight?”

“Of course,
I’ll stay as long as you need me to.” She would do anything to help
him get through his grief.

“Forever?”

Stunned by the
question, Lauren tipped her head back, expecting to see that lethal
smile. Instead, he looked deadly serious. “Now’s not the time to
talk about the future,” she whispered, cradling his face. “You just
have to think about how you’re going to get through the next few
days, whether you want to attend your mother’s funeral, how you
want to break the news to the kids.”

“They didn’t
have a relationship with her, so I doubt it’ll affect them at
all.”

Tucker may be
assuming they didn’t want to have a relationship, which may not
have been the case. “Did they ever ask about her?”

He shrugged.
“Sure. But I told them we didn’t get along. They asked questions
when they were younger, but I didn’t have any answers. Eventually
they just stopped asking.”

Lauren knew
Amanda’s parents lived out of state, so Tucker’s kids had missed
out on having grandparents to spoil and coddle them. “Now that
they’re getting older, maybe you could help them to understand why
you had a strained relationship with your mother.”

His head
snapped back and his eyes hardened. “What do you suggest I tell
them, Lauren? That my mother slept with the man who killed my
sister?”

Lauren winced
at the fury lacing his words. Rage practically emitted from his
pores. Words couldn’t heal his pain, but maybe her love could. She
slowly unbuttoned his shirt, pressing tender kisses to his skin. He
tipped his head back and closed his eyes, and she knew that was
exactly what he needed to start healing.

To her
knowledge, Tucker had never experienced unadulterated love. Amanda
had often called their relationship dysfunctional. She said they
were young and broken, looking to the other to help them heal, but
instead of healing each other, they only hurt one another more.

“Baby, you
don’t have to do this…” His voice was harsh, but his intent was
clear.

“I want to.”
She reached for his belt buckle, and his eyes followed her path. “I
want to love you.” She dropped kisses on his chest as she peeled
the shirt off and let it fall to the floor. “I want to love you the
way no one ever has, Tucker. With everything I have.”

He closed his
eyes. “Sweetheart, you don’t know what you’re getting yourself into
with me. You deserve so much better.”

“I want you…
all of you. The good, the bad, and the scary.” She brushed her hand
over his forehead, sweeping a stray strand of hair away. “I want
the part who’s fiercely protective of the people he loves. I want
the guy who demands the best from his crew. I want the man whose
greatest weakness is his kids.”

“You’re my
greatest weakness,” he whispered, his eyes boring into hers. “I
know my kids will always be a part of my life, but you could walk
away any second, and I couldn’t do a damn thing to stop you. That
makes me weak.”

Lauren was
humbled. She knew how difficult it was for him to trust someone
with his heart. “I can’t imagine anything making me want to walk
away from you.”

“You say that
now.” He grazed her cheek with his fingertip. “But there’s more you
don’t know about me.”

“Then I’ll
learn, just like you’ll learn about my strengths and weaknesses. As
long as we promise to be honest with each other, we’ll make it,
Tucker. I know we will.”

“Baby, in my
experience, that’s not the way it works. If merely wanting it was
enough to make it so, then yeah, we would last…” He paused as
though he was considering his next words. “Forever… but there may
be some things about me you decide you can’t live with.”

He was scaring
her. She loved him. She didn’t want to believe any obstacle could
be big enough to keep them apart. “I don’t want to talk anymore.”
She reached for his zipper. “I just want to go upstairs and-”

“Maybe we
should talk first. I don’t want you to feel I took advantage of
you, angel.”

The warning in
his voice made the pebble of uneasiness in her stomach morph into a
boulder. “Stop it!” She heard the panic in her voice and knew he
must have picked up on it too. “I don’t want to hear this. You’re
trying to push me away because you think I’m going to leave you.
You’re wrong. I’m not. I promise.”

He sighed.
“Baby, don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

Feeling
frustrated and on the verge of tears, she took control the only way
she knew how. Stepping just out of his reach, she pulled her shirt
over her head and let it fall before reaching for the button on her
jeans. The hunger in his eyes told her he wasn’t focusing on his
fears anymore. The only thing that mattered was satisfying his
desire for her.

“Do you still
want to talk?” she asked, sliding her snug jeans over her hips to
reveal a nude lace thong. She stepped out of the jeans and reached
behind her back to unfasten her bra. “Or would you rather take me
upstairs?”

He growled, low
and deep in his throat, before swooping her up and practically
sprinting up the stairs as though she weighed next to nothing.

“Tucker, your
hand.”

“My hand is
fine.”

Lauren knew
that was a lie, but she suspected Tucker was used to dealing with
pain. One day she would ask him what his time in jail had been like
and how it had shaped the man he’d become. He wouldn’t be
comfortable enough to share that part of his past with her for some
time though. She was content to wait as long as she needed to learn
everything about the dark and mysterious man who’d stolen her
heart.

He kicked the
door closed as soon as they crossed into his bedroom. He set her
down on the bed carefully before standing back to admire her.
“Perfect. This is where you belong.”

She thrived on
the appreciation in his eyes. He looked at her as if she was the
only person on earth who could make him feel whole again. She
wanted, more than anything, to be the woman who helped him bury the
past and build a new life he’d never dreamed possible. She wanted
to prove to him what he’d never allowed himself to believe: He
deserved happiness and forgiveness for his perceived sins.

“Are you just
going to stand there staring at me all night?” she asked,
pouting.

He chuckled as
he shed his clothes and climbed into bed. Setting his injured hand
on the pillow above her head, he used it to stroke her hair while
the other hand caressed her body.

Lauren closed
her eyes and savored his touch. She would never tire of the
sensation of his lightly calloused hands caressing her bare skin or
his strong arms wrapped around her, making her feel safe. She’d
never expected to find her other half in a man like Tucker, but he
fulfilled her in a way only her soul mate could. They hadn’t known
each other long, but it was long enough for her to know she didn’t
have to look any further. She’d found the man she wanted to spend
the rest of her life with.

“You’re so damn
beautiful.” He kissed her shoulder as he swirled his finger around
the tight bundle of nerves at her core. “I could lie here and watch
you like this all night.”

She couldn’t
speak when he did that. Her attention was solely focused on his
hand and the fact that she never, ever wanted that feeling to
end.

“I love that
you’re so responsive…” He slid his tongue around the shell of her
ear. “For me. Only for me.”

“Yes…”

“I want to keep
you forever, Lauren.” His words were soft, barely a whisper in her
ear as his ministrations became more focused.

“Please…” She
squeezed her eyes shut as she seized his wrist, trying to guide his
hand. He seemed determined to the set the pace, but she needed just
a little bit more to hurtle over the edge into oblivion.

“I never
thought I’d meet someone like you.”

He wanted to
talk? Seriously? Didn’t he know her brain had been rendered useless
thanks to him? “I know…” She gasped when he applied pressure where
she needed it most. “I feel… the same… way.” He finally gave her
what she’d been seeking, and she let go on a cry of gratitude as
she sank her teeth into his shoulder.

“Better?” he
asked, grinning down at her.

“Getting
there.” Now it was her turn for a little retribution. She pushed
his shoulders into the mattress and climbed on top of him,
straddling his waist.

“What’re you
doing?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Since you’re
injured, I thought I’d help you out a little.” She licked her lips
as she slid down enough to take his pulsating shaft in her hand.
She felt him jerk as he threw his head back on a groan.

“Baby, don’t.”
He dug his hand into her hip. “Please… I’m not gonna last if you
keep that up.”

Having power
over a man like Tucker was the most potent stimulant, and Lauren
couldn’t imagine ever getting enough. “What’s wrong? You don’t like
being at my mercy, Tucker?” The warning in his eyes made her
tremble as she continued stroking him.

“Lauren, baby,
please grab a condom. I need you… now.”

If she hadn’t
been as desperate for him, she may have prolonged the sweet torture
a little, but the strained look on his face had her on the verge of
erupting all over again. Lauren sheathed him quickly with unsteady
hands before sinking down, taking him to the hilt. She took a
moment to adjust as their eyes collided.

“How’d you get
under my skin so fast?”

Lauren moved
slowly, setting the rhythm for what she had in mind. That night was
all about taking Tucker’s mind off the past and forcing him to
think about the future she hoped they would share. “It works both
ways.” She planted her hands on his solid chest as she rolled her
hips, smirking when she heard his muttered curse. “I can’t let you
go now. I hope you know that.”

Tucker looked
stunned by her statement. He took a moment to recover before he
said, “Sweetheart, I don’t ever want you to let me go.”

Lauren got lost
in her quest to merge their bodies, determined to make him realize
what she already knew: He was
the one.
“I love you,” she
whispered, clasping him tighter as she fixed her hands on either
side of his head. “I’ve never felt this way about anyone, Tucker…
ever.”

Without regard
for his injured hand, he grabbed her hips and plunged in and out
more urgently with each stroke. “Lauren… baby…”

“Let go,
Tucker.” She wanted to watch his stunning face contort. “I’m right
there…” A gentle roll of her hips was enough to set her off. She
rode out their shared orgasm before collapsing in his arms.

“I don’t ever
want to forget this,” he whispered, fanning her cheek with his hot
breath. “No matter what happens, this is the way I want to remember
you.”

Lauren eased
back to look him in the eye, and she knew despite what they’d just
shared, that was the beginning of the end for them.

“What are you talking
about? Why are you saying that?”

Tucker heard
the panic in her voice, and he hated himself for what he was about
to do. He should have been strong enough to tell her the truth
before they’d made love again, but he couldn’t let her walk out of
his life without one more unforgettable night. The memory would
have to get him through the lonely nights he was certain lay ahead
as he tried to piece his life back together and figure out how to
stop loving her.

“Come here,” he
said, easing her down beside him. He coaxed her head down on his
chest and stroked her hair. “I was just a kid when I met Amanda. We
were both pretty messed up, and we thought if we got married and
started our own family, we could call the shots. We wouldn’t be at
the mercy of our screwed up families anymore.”

Lauren held her
hand over his heart. “When did you realize you didn’t love her
anymore?”

In all the
years he’d been with Amanda, he’d never loved her like Lauren. The
thought of Lauren walking out of his life made his chest feel as if
it would split in two. “I don’t know.”

Images flashed
through his mind of his son and daughter’s birth and christenings,
birthday parties, Christmas mornings gathered around the tree,
sneaking into their rooms to slip money under their pillows. He’d
loved his kids enough to pretend he loved their mother for a long
time. There were good times, and as elusive as they became toward
the end, his kids were the reason he stayed a lot longer than he
should have.

“Did you ever
regret leaving her?”

“I hated seeing
what it did to my kids. I wanted them to have a better life than I
had, but I realized I couldn’t be the father they needed if I was
miserable. I knew I had to leave.”

He was talking
about the past to avoid talking about how one decision he’d made
years ago would impact the rest of their lives. A little voice in
his head told him to man up and get it over with, but he knew when
he did, he’d have to lie in a bed that still smelled like her
perfume and let her walk out… because it was best for her. She
deserved the life she’d always dreamed of, and he could never give
her that.

“Your kids
adore you, Tucker. I think they understand why you had to leave
Amanda.”

“I hope so.” He
ran his hand down Lauren’s bare back, wishing he could commit the
feel of her satiny skin to memory.