Face Value (24 page)

If she’d kept
her distance, he may have been able to keep pretending, but with
her in his arms, he didn’t stand a chance. He held her, pouring all
of the anguish of the last few weeks into one embrace. He didn’t
know how he would let her go again. He wanted to be strong enough
to set her free, but she was making him realize how weak he was
where she was concerned.

Lauren tipped
his chin, forcing him to look at her. “If you tell me you don’t
want me, I’ll walk out of here and you’ll never have to see me
again. I promise.”

He had some
idea what that meant, he’d been living it, and it felt like an
insidious disease sucking the life out of him. “You know I do.” His
voice was so hoarse he could barely get the words out.

“What does our
perfect life together look like, Tucker?”

She ran her
hand over the stubble he hadn’t bothered to shave since two days
ago. Just taking a shower every day seemed like a monumental task.
“I can’t give you that. That’s why this is so hard for me, baby.”
He buried his face in the crook of her neck, wishing he could lose
himself in her again. But that wouldn’t solve their problems.
Nothing would.

“Let’s pretend
you could. What would our life together be like?”

He’d tortured
himself with fantasies for weeks, so it didn’t take him long to
respond. “You’d be there every night when I come home from work.”
It was that image that made his house so unbearable. “We’d have
dinner together, talk about our day.” Because of that little
fantasy, he hadn’t turned on the oven or the grill in weeks. Not
even when the kids were there. They’d been surviving on restaurant
food and take-out pizza. Poor kids. No wonder they were trying to
help him put his life back together. It was a disaster.

She lifted his
left hand, holding it against her cheek. “In this fantasy… are you
wearing my ring?”

“God, Lauren.
Being your husband would make me so damn proud…” He’d imagined
standing at the altar, watching her descend the long red carpet on
her daddy’s arm. Those images flashed through his mind when he
pleaded for a few hours of sleep every night.

“You said you’d
never marry again.” She looked down to where his index finger
traced the sensitive flesh spilling out of her bra.

“That’s because
I never thought I’d meet anyone like you.” He knew he may never get
another opportunity to say what was in his heart, and she deserved
to know. No matter how much it might hurt him to voice the truth.
“I can never regret the time I spent with Amanda because she gave
me two of the best things that have ever happened to me. My kids
are the reason I still get out of bed in the morning. They’re the
reason I don’t drink. They’re the reason I bust my ass to make this
business a success. I want them to have something I didn’t: an old
man they can be proud of.”

“They are proud
of you, Tucker. You don’t hear the way they talk about you. You’re
their hero.”

Knowing he had
earned his kids’ love and respect was more valuable than a big bank
account, fancy car, or sprawling house. It was everything. “They’ve
made me the man I always wanted to be. It’s as simple as that.”

“They’ve made
you the man I love.” Tears slid down her cheeks. “The man I want to
spend my life with… raise a family with… live, laugh, cry, and die
with.”

Those words
sliced through him because he so desperately wanted to hear them,
but he still couldn’t make all of her dreams come true. “You’re
gonna be an amazing mother someday, angel. I know you will,
but-”

She silenced
him with a kiss. “Do you want to be there to witness that?”

Tucker wasn’t
sure he could breathe. If that was her idea of cruel and unusual
punishment, it was working. Nothing could hurt as much as imagining
her sharing that gift with another man because he couldn’t give her
the baby he knew she wanted.

“Do you?” she
whispered.

“Why are you
doing this?” If dying from emotional wounds was possible, his
lifeless body would be lying on the floor.

“Because I need
to know you’re willing to take a chance on me, Tucker. I need to
know you’re willing to fight for us.” She held his face between her
hands, narrowing her big blue eyes on him. “You let me go once
without a fight. I need to know you’ll never do that again. I need
to know I can trust you with my heart.”

He didn’t know
how to respond. He’d let her go because he loved her and he wanted
her to have an amazing life, not because he didn’t want to be a
part of that life. “I would do anything for you. I don’t care how
much it costs me. The only thing that matters to me is your
happiness.”

“If that’s
true, you’ll agree to give me what I really want.”

“What’s
that?”

“You. I want
you. I want to have a family with you, Tucker. I don’t care how we
make that happen, but I see how great you are with your own kids,
and I want you to be the father of our kids too. We can adopt, you
can have the procedure reversed, and we can look into other
options…”

Tucker was too
stunned to speak. She would risk her future on a guy like him?
Someone who’d made more mistakes than he could count, who’d been
plagued with an inner rage his whole life, who came from a
dysfunctional family and couldn’t even trust himself to have a
drink with the boys on Friday night after work? She deserved so
much better, but did he have the courage to help her see that or
would he just thank god she’d chosen him? He didn’t know what to
do.

“Please say
something.”

“I don’t know
what to say.”

“You could
start by telling me you love me.”

He cupped her
cheek as he stared at her, trying to make sense of his feelings.
“Baby, you made my heart whole again. I haven’t felt that way since
my sister died.” He caught the tear sliding down her cheek with the
pad of this thumb. “But you left and…” He took a deep, shuddering
breath. “I didn’t think I could feel pain like that. I didn’t even
think I was capable of it. When I heard my front door close and I
knew you weren’t coming back, it felt like someone landed a machete
between my shoulder blades and left me there to bleed out.”

Her bottom lip
trembled as she wrapped her hand around his wrist. “Tucker, I
thought I knew what kind of man my husband would be. I was right,
but I was so wrong.” She smiled. “I wanted someone who would love
me unconditionally, support me in everything I do, be my best
friend and my lover, the father of my children, the strong arms I
step into when it feels like my world is falling apart…”

Tucker settled
her head on his chest and held her tight. One thing was certain: He
would die before he let her walk out of his life again. “I’ll
always be there for you, angel.”

“I know you
will.” She giggled as she ran her hands over the buttons on his
shirt. “I thought I wanted Armani suits. Instead I got denim shirts
and steel-toed boots. Fancy foreign cars impressed me until I saw
your dirty old pick-up truck.”

“Hey, I just
got that truck a few months ago,” he said, smacking her behind.
“I’ll have you know that’s a real man’s truck with all the bells
and whistles.”

Her eyes shined
when she tipped her head back to look at him. “Can we go home
now?”

“I’d love that,
baby.”

Amanda had agreed to
let her son have his birthday party at his dad and Lauren’s house
when Aiden Cooper and some of his teammates promised to stop by to
sign autographs and take pictures with the rowdy group of boys.

“I’ve never
seen Tucker like this.” Amanda eyed her ex-husband over her wine
glass. “He’s like a different person.”

Lauren had
noticed changes in Tucker too. He wasn’t the same man who’d turned
her world upside down. He was even better. When they found their
way back to each other, he’d told her he wanted to let go of the
past so he could focus on the future with her, and he’d been true
to his word.

The life they
were building together exceeded her expectations. They’d just
partnered on a small residential apartment building and planned to
kick off the project next week. She couldn’t wait to merge their
personal and professional lives. He was already her partner in
every sense of the word. That would just make it more official.

“So, any talk
of a wedding date?”

“Not yet.”
Lauren smiled when she caught sight of Monica giggling with a
girlfriend across the room. “We have plenty of time for that. I’d
like to concentrate on helping my cousin plan her wedding first.
Maybe I’ll learn a thing or two before my time comes.”

“Tucker doesn’t
want to wait.”

Lauren’s grip
on her glass tightened. “How do you know that?”

“He told me.”
Amanda smiled. “He said he can’t wait to make you his wife. He
loves that y’all are living together, but Tucker’s a pretty
traditional guy. He wants the world to know you’re his. Big church
wedding, the rock, and of course he’ll want you to take his last
name.”

Lauren
McCall Brooks did have a nice ring to it.
But Tucker should
talk to her about his plans, not his ex-wife. “I’m glad you and
Tucker have become friends, Amanda,” Lauren said, hoping Amanda
wouldn’t question the shift in conversation.

“So am I. I
hated all that tension between us.” She sighed. “He didn’t do
anything wrong… except fall out of love with me.”

Lauren felt her
chest tighten. The question had plagued her for a long time, but
she’d never had the nerve to ask. “Do you still love him?”

“A part of me
always will.” Amanda brought the glass to her lips, taking a sip
before she cleared her throat. “He was my first love, the father of
my children, not to mention the best guy I’ve ever known.”

Lauren tried to
quash her jealousy. Tucker was hers. Amanda was a part of his past.
So what if she was and would always be the mother of his children?
If they would always have that unbreakable bond…

She felt Tucker
come up behind her and slip his arms around her waist.

“Hey, what’s
that scowl all about?” he whispered in her ear.

“Nothing,” she
muttered, hoping Amanda couldn’t overhear.

“If you’ll
excuse me,” Amanda said, “I’m going to take a few more pictures of
the boys before I run out and pick up the cake.”

Tucker waited
for her to walk away before he turned Lauren into his arms. “What’s
wrong, baby?”

“Aside from the
fact your ex-wife just informed me she would always love you?”

Tucker threw
his head back and laughed. “That’s what’s got you all bent out of
shape? Baby, I’m all yours, you know that. No other woman alive
could turn my head.”

That made
Lauren feel marginally better, but she still wanted to address the
other matter bothering her. “Why are you talking to her about our
relationship?”

He frowned.
“What’re you talking about? What did I say?”

“You said you
were anxious to get married.”

“I am, that’s
no secret.”

“I thought we
agreed we’d wait until Justin and Anna had their day.”

“I agreed to do
whatever makes you happy. Always.” He turned his back to the crowd,
shielding her with his body as he kissed her slowly and thoroughly.
“I’m not gonna lie, I can’t wait to make you Mrs. Lauren Brooks,
but if you want a little more time, I’m cool with that.”

“Lauren McCall
Brooks,” she corrected.

Tucker rolled
his eyes. “Whatever.” He nipped her neck, chuckling when she
trembled. “I’ve been talking to a jeweler. If you have anything
against a three-carat pear-shaped solitaire in a platinum setting,
you’d best tell me now.”

“Are you
crazy?” Lauren asked, pulling back to gauge his sincerity. “You
can’t get me a three-carat diamond! I’d need an armed guard to walk
around those construction sites late at night with that on my
finger.”

“Like I’d let
you walk around a site late at night by yourself after what
happened with that asshole.”

“I still can’t
believe how many women came forward once Uncle Derek dug into his
past.” Rob had raped three women and attempted to assault two
others. Lauren broke out in a sweat just thinking about her narrow
escape that night. If Tucker hadn’t walked in when he did, she
would have been Rob’s next victim.

“I’m just glad
he won’t see the outside of a jail cell for a long time.” Tucker
kissed her neck.

Lauren slapped
his bicep. “Would you behave yourself? This is your son’s birthday
party!”

“Please, like
they’re paying any attention to us with all those professional
hockey players here.”

“That’s true.”
Lauren grinned when Aiden winked at her. “It was so nice of them to
come, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah, not to
mention Justin. I thought the kids were gonna pass out when he
walked in.”

Lauren laughed.
“We have got pretty great friends, haven’t we?”

Tucker looked
out over the people crowding every corner of his house. “I never
thought this could be my life.”

“You deserve
this, Tucker.”

He kissed the
top of her head. “It means a lot to me that your parents have been
so great to my kids.”

“They love
them.” Lauren looked up at him and smiled. “And they love you.”

Tucker
chuckled. “Yeah, who would have thought your father and I would
learn to get along?”

“I’m not
surprised.” She wrapped her arms around his waist. “He can see how
much you love me, that you would do anything for me. This is the
kind of relationship he always hoped I would find.”

“I’m just glad
you found it with me.”

“It wouldn’t
have been possible with anyone else.” She stood on her toes to kiss
him. “You’re the only man who can make me feel this way.”

He grinned that
same smile that still made her heart skip a beat every time she saw
it.