Divinely Living (Surviving Series) (22 page)

I laughed weakly. “We’re both fucked up when it comes to love. It’s just so hard to deal with.”

The line fell quiet again before she replied. “I can’t believe you actually flew to Chicago. You must be going through hell right now.”

I rubbed a hand across my forehead. “I am but Jonah’s been a saint. He really does love me Charlotte.”

“Anyone willing to put up with your high maintenance self, must fucking love you,” she chuckled although only faintly with humour.

“How’s Cam,” I asked tentatively. I may be back on talking terms with my best friend but the thread of friendship was still extremely thin and I didn’t want to break it again.

She breathed loudly again. “He’s getting there I think. It killed me to see him so cut up Ava, but after the two of you spoke at dads’ office, he came home and told me to grow up and get my best friend back. It’s just taken a lot longer for me to do it than it should have.”

“I never meant to hurt him,” I said quietly. “I do love your brother just not in the way he wants me to.”

“I know that now, honey.” She groaned into the receiver. “I was a total fucking bitch that night after the meeting. I went out for dinner with Cam, was reeling from a huge fight with Jean and made a total show of myself at Giovanni’s. I said some terrible things Ava, especially to your friend Scarlett. Things, which I regretted the moment I said them. Cameron left in a rage and has refused to speak to me since.”

“I heard.” Although slight irritation pricked at me for my confidantes’ indiscretion regarding my personal affairs, the fact we were both now willing to seize the olive branches on offer, I decided to let the irritation pass. I needed her friendship more then I needed to tear a strip off of her ass for spewing out my private life verbally to people who didn’t need or want to know my personal business.

“Am I forgiven?” She asked, her voice hopeful.

“I forgave you the moment Cameron told me how he felt. You told me at the airport to call you the moment I realised what was going on so I could apologise. I guess it’s taken me a lot longer to do that than it should have.”

“I’ve missed you so much, Ava,” she whispered quietly.

“God, me too,” I answered quickly, “me too.”

***

After speaking for over thirty minutes, when the time came to end my call with Charlotte, I felt infinitely better. She always had a calming effect on me. Admittedly the effect was nowhere near as profound as Jonah had, but the fact we were repairing the most important relationship I had, after him, had an immediate effect on my earlier dark mood.

The most important thing to deal with today was the trip to A.M Enterprises and what greeted me when I arrived there. Dealing with what awaited me would take all the strength and focus I possessed, which made it my sole priority. Standing before the huge bedroom mirror in the corner of the room, my eyes fell to my stomach. Running a hand across it, an unexpected protective urge swelled my heart. If there was anyone in there, he or she was a part of the man I loved, a complete half of his genetic make up. I didn’t want to be pregnant, never believed I would be and the thought of being a parent was more frightening than facing the pack of wolves I was throwing myself in front of today. But the love that filled me when I thought of carrying a part of Jonah inside me was surprising but real. I just wasn’t ready to even begin dealing with the possibility of being pregnant until I was on my way back to London.

I finished drying my hair, deciding to leave it down and loose, then quickly got dressed. There were a few precious hours yet before facing my fears but deciding to act on my invigorated state of mind before any further shit came along to smash through it, I slipped into the emerald dress, pushed my feet into the black heels, applied my usual light make up then headed out of the bedroom to find Jonah. Entering the expansive living room, I stopped just inside the doorway and took a quiet moment to admire the man who owned me and had quite possibility made me pregnant.

He stood in front of a large window, his legs slightly parted and his hands in his pants pockets. His broad shoulders, defined back and lean waist made the white dress shirt he was wearing, a snug fit against his impressive upper frame. The hard cheeks of his ass, prominent thighs and calves and the air of power and raw sexuality radiating from him had my sex clenching in wicked remembrance of how explosive that sexuality felt each time he released it on me and in me. Peering out to the ground below, he was the king of all he surveyed, the ruler of my heart and singularly the most magnificent male specimen to walk the earth. And he was mine. He glanced over his shoulder, the unbreakable connection between us strong and tangible, allowing him to sense my presence on instinct. Deep blue eyes bore through me, hot and possessive, before rounding in warmth as my hand ran across my stomach and rested at my navel. Dropping his eyes to my hands, he turned towards me slowly, his soft gaze warming my face like a scorching summer sun. Closing the distance between us, my arms flew around his waist and my cheek pressed against his chest. Jonah groaned, gripped his arms around me, his chin resting atop of my head.

“I’m turning into a pathetic, Jonah Jacobson worshipping groupie,” I sighed into his chest. “I’m officially your number one fan.”

“You’re my one and only fan, Ava. The only one who ever has and ever will matter.”

“I’m such a bitch to you,” I tipped my head backwards to look at him. “I have no idea why you love me.”

Lifting my feet from the floor with an arm under my ass and the other clutching me at the nape of my neck, his lips and tongue ate at my mouth with a long, arousing kiss, which took my breath and left me panting. Breaking away, he blew a breath across my face and rested his forehead against mine. “You belong to me, Ava; you were born to be with me. When I made you mine it meant taking the good and the bad. I’d live with the bitch every day rather than spend a day apart from you ever again.”

“You might regret saying that,” I replied quietly. “I’ve heard pregnant women can be hell on wheels to live with when their hormones are on a rampage.”

His chest expanded then deflated against me. “I’ll never regret a word. And if you are pregnant, I’ll be so damn filled with pride I won’t give a fuck what you throw at me.”

My head dropped to his chest again. The solid thud of his heart beat steadily against the side of my face while mine thumped erratically inside my rib cage. “I’m not ready to be a mother, Jonah. I can’t bring a child into this world to suffer the life I had. Your Uncle Benjamin was right. I’m a clone of Gina. She had no idea how to love a child and neither do I.”

He dropped me to my feet and lifted my chin with his hand. “You have one thing your mother didn’t have sweetheart.”

“Oh, what’s that?”

He kissed the tip of my nose. “You have me. And I have more than enough love for the both of us.” I smiled as he kissed my nose again. “And, there is no way in hell I would allow any child of ours to live a life without the love, care and attention he or she deserves. We’re not our parents, Ava. We’re so much more than they ever were and our children will be the same.”

“I wish I could believe that,” I sighed. “I would give every penny I have for that to be true.”

“Believe it sweetheart because it’s the truth. I’ll spend my life proving it to you if that’s what it takes to make you believe in us and what we have.”

Pressing up on my toes, I snaked my arms around his neck and grazed my lips across his jaw line. “I believe in you, Jonah. Make me believe in everything else like you do.”

“I intend to baby. Believe me I intend to.”

I stared out of the taxi window as we approached A.M Enterprises, shaking, terrified but more determined to see this through than ever. During the long drive, I discussed all matters regarding Alex’s inheritance with Jonah and came to one firm decision. Everything Alex left to me property wise, the main house in Chicago and holiday homes were to be sold immediately with every penny to be put into a bank account that would remain untouched, along with the huge chunk of money he also left me until an appropriate reason for using it came along. Any staff members still under his employment and residing in those properties would be given fair notice and compensated for the disruption to their employment. As for A.M Enterprises, although Alex made it crystal clear it was not to be sold or removed from my ownership and needed to remain within my family, my intentions and wishes were clear. I could not live my life with Alex and his poisonous taint looming over me. I had to be selfish where that man was concerned.  My sanity demanded it. With Jonah’s help, a suitable person would be appointed to run the business with all correspondence both verbally and written to go directly through Jonah, so I wouldn’t have any further dealings with the company once we left for London. I knew it was a lot to ask of him, but Jonah remained stoic when I made the suggestion. I was his priority, and keeping me protected even more so, especially if what we both suspected was true and I was indeed carrying his baby.

Since severing all connections with his Uncle, which also meant forfeiting his position within Jacobson & Fitzgerald, Jonah had spent his entire life revolving around my issues and me without a thought for his own. I lost count of the amount of calls I overheard him take while we were holed up in my apartment after returning from France. The head-hunters were out in full force once news of his departure from his Uncle’s firm became common knowledge, and there was no doubt from the offers flooding in that his reputation made him desirable. I also heard him refuse every single offer, thanking them for their interest but declining. He had made me his main focus, devoting his time to taking care of me. That was the last decision I was prepared to make as we rounded a corner to our left and A.M Enterprises stood tall and large before us. I would find a way to give back to Jonah what he gave away so willingly for me. What was mine would become
ours
the moment we both said ‘I do’. I intended to ensure that Jonah used what was ours, predominantly the money, to secure his future, career wise. He was such a proud man, getting him to agree to what I had planned would be hard going. But I’d be damned if I would let his pride stop him from agreeing to putting Alex’s millions to at least one, more than worthy, use.

I gripped Jonah’s hand so tight, he winced playfully before squeezing me back. Thousands of square feet of stone and concrete loomed large and menacing in front of us as the taxi slowed to a stop. A.M Enterprises was emblazed across the front of the building and engraved within the glass entrance doors. Pregnant or not, my stomach rolled with nausea and my pulse beat so painfully in my throat it felt as though my skin would tear above it. Breathing became laboured as my lungs began to suffocate beneath the crushing weight bearing down on my chest. I could feel his presence crawling over my skin, his hands clawing into my flesh and Alex’s overwhelming aura wrapped around every inch of that building. This is why he left me this fucking monstrosity. He was so embedded within its foundations you could feel the evil the moment you entered through the huge iron gates it was situated behind. The fucker was laughing all the way to his grave knowing that every time I was forced to come here, his memory would live on, leaving me to live in perpetual torment. The bastard may be dead but he was by no means out. This was his final twist of the knife and god did that man know how to leave a lasting impression and vile mark on me and within my life.

“I’m right here, Ava, I’ve got you baby.” Jonah’s voice was soothing and dragged me back to this present. The taxi door at my side was open and a heart stopping vision in a pinstripe three piece held out his hand.
You can do this Ava,
I chanted to myself internally over and over. This was the last hurdle; the one remaining barrier between me and a new life, and make or break time had arrived. I breathed out, grasped Jonah’s hand and stepped onto the concrete floor.

“Listen to me.” Jonah’s face was hard, his jaw tight and his eyes narrow and focused. He wore his hair swept to the side, the finishing touch to the powerful image he always portrayed in a suit and tie. “These people are only interested in their investment and ensuring its safe keeping. All they know is the name of their new CEO and nothing more. They have no idea what is happening with the company, whether you intend to run it or sell it. The full extent of Alex’s will has not been revealed to them, Ava, so they are as much in the air with regards to their future as you are. They don’t know that Alex bound this company to you for life and they’re afraid of your next move. Don’t let them scare you baby. I won’t allow anyone of them to make you feel threatened or intimidated.” He pulled me to him. “Savannah Mae Matthews, you are the strongest most courageous woman I know. You’ve come so far sweetheart, don’t allow this one last thing you have to face, to crush what you have worked so hard to achieve. We let them put a face to a name; inform them of your intentions then leave. I swear to you, you will never have to set foot in Chicago or even hear the name Alex mentioned after this, for as long as you live, I will make sure of it.”

If it was even possible, I loved Jonah even more in that moment. His words filled me with newfound inner courage; his protective intentions flooded my racing heart with love. I had come too far to slide back into old habits, the main one being running the fuck away from anything difficult to handle and terrifying to deal with. My man deserved a better woman then that.

“Let’s do this,” I said firmly. “Then you take me the hell home! Deal?”