Divinely Living (Surviving Series) (21 page)

“I’m trying to be a gentleman with you at this moment in time, Ava. Keep sucking my tongue like you suck my cock and I’m going to lose all restraint and fuck you.”

I bit down hard on his bottom lip. The gentleman morphed into the predator instantly. His hand traced the outline of my ribs, hips before cupping my sex and pushing two fingers inside me. Stifling my moan with a kiss, he growled against my mouth. “Prepare yourself, Ava. I have hours without fucking you, to make up for.”

I groaned and pulled his mouth onto mine, silently telling him I was prepared, primed and ready.

***

I threw my head back in blissful ecstasy then gazed down at the sex god unfolding beneath me. Jonah’s face was taut, his entire body tightly wound as his orgasm ripped through his body. His fingers dug into my hip, his hands locking me down on his cock as it continued to pulsate deep inside my drenched sex. The scent of our combined sweat and lovemaking hung thick in the hotel room air and clung to our misted skin. These were the moments I lived for. Moments when our bodies were so close, so intimately joined it was difficult to differentiate from where Jonah’s body ended and mine began. Adoration shone brightly in his eyes, his mahogany waves stuck to his forehead and he truly had never looked so divine or all mine. Collapsing onto his stomach with a contented sigh, I pressed my face against his hard chest, my stomach flush against the ridged muscles of his abdomen. Long minutes passed before our breathing steadied and I bathed in the post sex glow that lovemaking with Jonah, always left me with. His arms pinned me to him, his hand running softly up and down the length of my spine. Jonah was my exclusive piece of heaven, my calming presence and reason to live. I had never felt so safe, so protected or content. A swell of possessiveness burned within my chest and I promised myself there and then, wrapped in his arms, the moment the hell yet to face me was
over; I was dragging his delicious ass down the nearest aisle and making our bond official, legal and for the rest of our lives. I was prepared to drag him kicking and screaming if necessary but I knew it would never come to that. Jonah needed me as much as I needed him. It was that simple. Neither one of us could function without the other. We were fucked up, both victims of our past but together we would be fucking invincible. I planned on our relationship staying that way.... always.

“I’m so in love with you, Savannah Mae Matthews, I can’t wait to make you my wife.”

I pressed a weary kiss against his pec. “I was the one who proposed. I think that means I’ll be making you my husband.”

His soft chuckle echoed against my cheek. “You’re not going to get the upper hand in the dominance stakes with me sweetheart. But the sound of you
making me your husband
sounds so fucking hot, I’ll give you that one.”

I raised my head and ran my tongue along the curve of his strong chin. “You’ll have to give on a lot of things with me, Jacobson. I may just keep you locked inside this hotel room and fuck you into submitting to me.”

He kissed my forehead and held me tighter. “As appealing as the thought of being your sex slave sounds, I know what you’re doing, Ava and unfortunately this time it’s not going to work.”

Pulling my head back, I groaned as he rolled me onto my side and faced me. “It’s been two days since we landed. You can’t continue to put off what you flew thousands of miles to do.”

Burying my head in my pillow, I sighed deeply into it. He was always so fucking right. I could not hide jack shit from the man. “I don’t think I can do it. It’s going to be so fucking hard facing up to them,” I mumbled, my voice muffled by the pillow.

“Hey.” His hand turned my chin so I was facing him. “You’re not alone here. I’m beside you all the way baby. I won’t let anyone hurt, disrespect or make you feel beneath them. I’d rip their hearts out for merely looking at you in a way that made you feel uncomfortable.”

“You’re so my hero,” I smiled.

“You’d better fucking believe it baby,” he replied with a cocky grin and a wink. “So?”

I flopped onto my back and flung an arm over my eyes. “Do I have to?”

He lifted my arm from face, rubbed his nose softly against mine then kissed my lips. “The Ava I know isn’t a quitter. You never gave up on my undeserving backside when everyone you care about was telling you to do so. You’re a fighter, baby. It’s time to deal the knock out punch then we can return to London and start the rest of our lives together.” he kissed me again, and then pulled back with a wide smile. “We’ll start our married life together.”

Raising my hand, I ran my fingertips along his jaw line. “What did I really think I was going to achieve coming here Jonah?”

“You came for closure.” Lifting his weight up on his arms, his hand tugged my thighs apart, his hot body sliding between them. Hunger stirred within my groin as his still hard cock nudged at the wet entrance of my sex. “And I’m not prepared to leave Chicago until you receive that.”

I moaned quietly and closed my eyes, the tip of his wide crown sliding inside me fractionally. “I don’t want to run that damn company.”

“Then you find someone to do it for you,” he breathed, his cock sliding further into me. Widening my thighs, I grabbed his ass and pulled, his cock filling me entirely with one slick slide.

“How will I do that?” I groaned loudly. His head dipped to my breast and sucked in the swollen point.

“You’ll find the right person, Ava,” his growl as he rocked his hips into my groin made me grip his ass harder. “We all find the right person eventually. It took me twenty six years to find mine but fuck it was well worth the wait.”

He reared over me, his arms supporting his weight, my legs wrapping around his hips. Then he did what he always did, fucked me into oblivion and erased all thoughts from my mind other than him, his hot body and the hours of orgasms he gave me. But for once, the mind freeze was temporary. As we lay together afterwards, our exhausted bodies entwined with our hearts thumping against our chests in unison, dread settled in my stomach. A.M Enterprises would have Alex’s mark all over it. And I didn’t have the first fucking clue how I was going to set about erasing that mark for good.

The meeting was set. After making numerous phone calls, Jonah had managed to bring all individuals relevant to A.M Enterprises together, for a meeting at five pm. He confirmed the meeting at nine that morning. By nine thirty I was well acquainted with the toilet and it looked as if we would become firm friends throughout the rest of the day.

As usual, Jonah was attentive and supportive. He held my hair back while I heaved, plied me with fluids to keep me hydrated then held me close as the dry heaves wracked my body before subsiding. The pained expression he wore, told me he felt every bit of nausea and emotion sweeping through my depleted body. Even further testament to how completely in tune with each other’s feelings, fears and needs we were. His hand soothed my back, ran gently through my hair and his words of love and encouragement slowly helped to relieve the anxiety attack lurking in the shadows waiting to pounce.

By midday, I managed to drag my body into the shower to wash away the vile stench of vomit and sweat from my skin. I cleaned up slowly, enjoying the feel of scorching water against my bone weary body. Slightly invigorated and definitely more awake, I slid open the frosted shower cubicle door to find a pensive Jonah leaning against the sink with a thoughtful gaze in his eyes.

“Are you okay?” I questioned while wrapping a towel around my dripping hair. He didn’t answer. “Jonah”

Knotting a towel between my breasts, I crossed my arms across my aching stomach and waited for him to speak.

“You’ve been experiencing a lot of sickness and feelings of nausea lately Ava.”

I walked to his side, plucked my toothbrush from its glass holder and filled it with toothpaste. The minty taste was welcoming as it scrubbed the sickness from my mouth. “That’s the Alex Matthews and Chicago effect,” I said between mouthfuls.

“Are you sure of that?” Jonah’s dark brows furrowed and his blue eyes filled with concern. “When did you get your last period, sweetheart?”

I stopped brushing instantly, the toothbrush limp in my mouth. Staring up at him, I replayed the recent events and timelines in my mind. Oh god no, I screamed to myself, as an ominous feeling crept over me. The last few months had been filled with so much emotional turbulence I’d failed to notice that certain monthly occurrences that women were plagued with had failed to occur. “I can’t be,” I whispered, my voice shaky. “There’s no fucking way.”

“When did you get your last period, Ava?” Jonah was almost desperate as he grabbed my shoulders and turned me to face him.

“I...I...I can’t remember exactly,” I stuttered. My head spun and legs threatened to give way. This could not be happening, not to fucking me! I was hours away from dealing with one of the most terrifying situations of my life, in a city I hated with a goddamn passion and now this!

“I can’t deal with this right now,” I said flatly. I didn’t have it within me to begin to face what may be happening within my body at that moment.... if ever at all. Dropping my toothbrush into the sink, I fought the rising swell of another bout of nausea, pushed past a stunned Jonah and headed to the bedroom. With my heart beating wildly and my mind racing, I began yanking open drawers and closet doors in an attempt to focus on something other than the meeting and the possibility that history was starting to repeat itself in the worst way.

“Ava, we need to talk about this,” Jonah said quietly while leaning against the bedroom doorframe. Dressed in a crisp white dress shirt and dark grey pin stripe suit pants, the delicious looking businessman he presented himself as, for once didn’t push my arousal button and have me delirious with the need to be impaled by him. If both of our suspicions were right, our uncontrollable sexual desire for each other was what got us into this shit. And for once, the thought of being fucked by Jonah was a complete turn off.

“There’s nothing to talk about, Jonah.” I threw an emerald green shift dress onto the bed as I continued to pace around the room. “I really can’t deal with this shit right now.”

Jonah pushed off the doorframe and walked forward a couple of steps. Shoving his hands in his pants pocket, he watched me pace with an intense stare. “You can and you will.”

Dragging a pair of black heels from my travel case, I placed them beside the dress then began to route through my lingerie drawer. “No, I can’t and I won’t,” I bit out.

I was beginning to drown with everything conspiring around me and threatening to drag me under. A tight knot formed in my chest and in my throat, a ball of fear so large and suffocating, that breathing normally past both knots became difficult. Freaking out didn’t come close to how I was feeling. Falling to my knees, I began scrambling through my case, frantically searching for something, I just didn’t know what. My vision became blurry as the knot in my throat began to release a flood of tears that burned my eyes. This wasn’t fucking happening, not right now and not to me. The vibrating buzz of a phone on the table to my side cut through the darkness of despair. Lunging for the phone, the caller ID showed the name of the one person I so desperately needed to speak to, now more than ever.

I pressed the call button with a shaking hand. “Charlotte.” My voice sounded choked as I fought back the tears.

“Are you okay Ava?” Charlotte’s voice rang clearly down the line.

I threw a pleading look at Jonah, who answered my plea for privacy by turning on his heels and closing the bedroom behind him as he left. I sank against the bed, resting my back against the hard frame and hung my head.

“No, no I’m not okay. Isn’t it a little early back home for you to be calling?”

Her voice was drenched in concern as she answered. “I couldn’t sleep. Jesus, honey, I’m so sorry for not replying to your text. I’ve been a shitty friend to you and I’m sorry for that.”

“I’m so fucked, Charlotte,” I breathed down the phone, my breath stuttering on a large sob. “Everything is so fucked up. You have no idea how much I needed to hear your voice.”

“Did he hurt you again Ava?” Her voice was low and full of lethal intent. “I know I said you were on your own for giving him a second chance, but you’re my best friend and if he’s hurt you again I swear I’ll kill...”

“I think I’m pregnant.” I said the words and immediately wanted to throw up again.

There was a long pause before she replied. “Shit, Ava!  That is fucked up.”

“You’re telling me,” I sniffled.

“Forgive me for sounding dumb honey but how the hell did this happen? You’ve always been on birth control.”

“I have no idea,” I replied honestly. Tipping my head backwards, I exhaled a deep breath. “I’m so sorry for the things I said to you at the airport, Charlotte. I didn’t mean a word I swear. I miss you so much.”

“Oh honey.” I heard Charlotte’s muffled sniffles down the line. “I miss you too. I hate myself for the things I said to you. When I saw you with Jonah I just flipped. I love my brother, Ava, and knowing how much he was in love with you and how broken he felt every time he thought of you with Jonah got to me. But that doesn’t excuse my behaviour.” She breathed loudly. “We can’t help who we love babe, even I’ve had to start facing up to that.”

“Are things not going too well with Jean-Pierre?”

“You know me A, I never know what I’ve got until it’s gone. He left for Paris three days ago after yet another huge row. I really think I’ve blown it with him this time.”