Divinely Living (Surviving Series)
Read Divinely Living (Surviving Series) Online
Authors: Courtney Cross
DIVINELY LIVING
BY
COURTNEY CROSS
Published by Courtney Cross, 2014
Edited by Claire Allmendinger
COPYRIGHT © 2014 COURTNEY CROSS
All rights reserved. This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook is copyright material and must not be copied, reproduced, transferred, distributed, leased, licensed or publicly performed or used in any form without prior written permission of the publisher, as allowed under the terms and conditions under which it was purchased or as strictly permitted by applicable copyright law. Any unauthorised distribution, circulation or use of this text may be a direct infringement of the author’s rights, and those responsible may be liable in law accordingly. Thank you for respecting the work of this author. Divinely Living is a work of fiction. All names, characters, places and events portrayed in this book either are from the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, establishments, events or location is purely coincidental and not intended by the author. Please do not take offence to the content, as it is FICTION.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
What can I say? To my Edinburgh bitches who I adore, your support is unconditional and constant and I love you all! To my editor, Claire (or ‘Louise’, please don’t ask ha-ha), thank you for your hard work on editing this story and your unique way of commenting on my mistakes and the parts of my writing you love! To Wendy (or ‘Thelma’) and Sally J, I love you both for your blog support, beta reading support and just brightening my day in general! To my boys at home, this is why Mum is forever on the laptop! I adore all three of you for your encouragement and your love. And finally, thank you to every blogger, fan and friend who continues to help me along the crazy Indie journey. This book is for you x
The hot Mediterranean heat soared in temperature. A large shadow loomed before me, encasing my body in what should have been cool warmth. Instead my eyes widened in disbelief and shock, while my blood burned in my veins. An all familiar hunger stirred within my stomach and my mouth watered at the semi naked vision stood firm at the foot of the sun lounger I was laid on. Tremors of awareness sent my core muscles into spasm and licked like fire across my sweat misted skin. Jonah Jacobson may have been my downfall, my heart breaking deceitful ex, but he was still and always would be the singular, most arousing male specimen I ever had the misfortune to meet.
Dressed in black swim shorts and tinted Ray Bans, his honey skin glistened with tanning oil under the St. Tropez sun. His toned frame appeared relax
ed, although the tautness of muscular flesh and tightly strung outline of veins that permeated his skin betrayed that perception. Shimmering droplets of sweat adorned his forehead; his dark brown hair lay unruly across it. Piercing deep blue eyes, the colour of the azure sea in the background, bore through me as soon as his strong hand removed the sunglasses that blocked them from view.
With a straight nose, sumptuous full lips and a defined jaw that wore a sprinkling of unshaven hair there was no mistaking or denying Jonah’s devastating appeal.
I breathed in his aura, connecting with the pulsating vibrations of effervescent life force I always became consumed in when in his presence. The invisible line of need and want
that our bodies were bound by banded tightly around me, suffocating me with its power and intensity. Involuntarily, my thighs pressed together, desperately attempting to soothe the painful ache of arousal. My sex moistened and swelled in remembrance of how his huge, gorgeous cock felt when buried deep inside me. A knowledgeable smirk upturned Jonah’s lip as he witnessed the slight movement and recognised its purpose. Surrounded by all he was, swamped in all we once were, a barely audible groan left my lips in a mixture of sexual frustration and rising anger.
He maybe the epitome of every woman’s erotic, passionate desire, but he was also the one person whose betrayal and lies cut my soul to shreds. The scars I carried internally as a result were unhealed. The memory remained vivid and raw. Once, not so long ago, he had coaxed my fragile emotional state
, wide open, liberated and invigorated my dark spirit to reawaken from its barely surviving dormancy before helping it to live. For that time, I forgot who I truly was, the woman I was destined to be from birth. Jonah gave me false hope, stirred tangible feelings of longing I had managed to block out for so long then crushed them in one destructive blow. His body quickly became my chosen narcotic and like the junkie he turned me into I craved a fix on a level I had never encountered or believed possible. But his feigned want and desire were no more real than the unattainable life I dared to believe I deserved and he could offer.
My past dictated I would always fail
, that the future I held onto by my fingertips for a short period in time would slip through them as all other aspects pertaining to the person I was genetically made to be did. I hated Jonah for enticing me with promises that would never transpire. Hated him for offering with one hand what he cruelly took with the other. But most of all, most of fucking all, I hated the fact he made me want him, need him and above love him.
I began to shake with flaring temper as a grin spread
s across his face. Jesus, he was divine. A further aspect to Jonah Jacobson’s image I hated.........and appreciated more than ever. Clearing my throat, I placed a nonchalant mask across my heated face and looked him dead on; thankful for the inexpensive shades that covered the myriad of emotions invading my emerald green eyes.
“What the hell are you doing here?” I
asked my voice calm.
The grin evaporated as he fisted his hands into the pockets of his swim shorts and breathed deeply
. “I came for you.”
“Me
,” I snorted. “There’s nothing for you here, Jonah. You’ve had a wasted trip.”
“I’d travel twice around the world for one second of your time
, Ava. A few hundred miles for the minute I’ve had already, is no wasted trip I assure you.”
The heavy Irish husk in his voice never failed to have me dripping wet between my legs. I hated that too
. “Save me the smooth talk. I have nothing to say to you.”
“Then just listen. I have plenty to say for the both of us
.”
Moving into a sitting position, I blew out in exasperation as my temper continued to rise. Visions of the day I happened across his fiancée Darcy, a woman who I had no knowledge of, and her truthful revelations that killed part of me clouded my mind. Restraint around Jonah was difficult at the best of times. Right now, when my self control was at its lowest ebb I was vulnerable. It wouldn’t take much to strip my defences where he was concerned and I just could not allow that to happen, not again.
“Haven’t you hurt me enough?” I asked in a whisper. “I can’t deal with anymore of your lies.”
Arching his neck, his sapphire eyes closed. A wince of pain contorted his face and his body went rigid. His hurt was evident.
Hurt at being caught the hell out no doubt,
I sneered internally. Well screw that, I hoped he was hurting. I hoped his pain was as heavy as mine. It was the least he deserved.
“I’m so sorry
, Ava. In my desperation to keep you, I caused you pain. I have no excuses for doing that other than I love you.” Lowering his head, the haunted expression imbedded in his dimmed irises showed that whatever he felt, whatever he was experiencing, was very real and weighed heavy. I could almost believe he was a man suffering, a man lost. That unwelcome belief soon paled. I remembered Darcy’s beautiful face and cruel words that spoke the truth. That alone swept away any fleeting lapses in my judgement or emotions immediately.
“Does Darcy know you’re here?” I questioned with a sarcastic tone.
His jaw tightened and eyes hardened. “My whereabouts have fuck all to do with anyone, most of all Darcy.”
“I think a chunk of precious stone on her finger gives her some say in where you decide to spend your time and who with
.” The words lodged in my throat. My heart saddened at the knowledge he had never been mine.
“I have no idea where that god damn ring came from or who purchased it. I never bought it for her. For the final time, we were never
, and never will be, engaged. There’s only one woman’s finger I have ever considered placing my ring on, and that woman is you.”
I blinked in disbelief
. “You are such an asshole.” I shook my head and swung my legs over the side of the sun lounger. My baking skin needed relief. So did my raging libido. As pained as I was to admit it, his unique scent and divine body drove me half crazed with want. Jonah had a way of digging underneath my skin when he was near. He was familiar on an intimate level, aware of each of my trigger points and perfectly equipped to push my buttons, much to my dismay. My toes dug into the hot sand as I stood. Removing my sunglasses and placing them on the lounger I skirted around the man who had the power to undo my resolve with the slightest glance and ran the short distance across the secluded beach and to the cold sand of the waters edge. I closed my eyes and composed myself. A slight sea breeze brushed across my sensitised and slightly pinking skin, as my toes flexed into the saturated ground. I sighed heavily, angry with myself that even after all Jonah had put me through, after all the hurt and anguish he had caused, I still wanted him as much as the first day we met.
Life had been so easy before Jonah. I had perfected the art years ago of not allowing emotional involvement or attachment to anyone, an art that up until a few months ago served me well. The daughter of a wealth seeking, emotionally neglectful mother, who ended her life to suicide, and adoptive step-daughter to an egotistical, abusive, self made business executive ensured my upbringing was a lonely, detached one. Having no knowledge of my biological father or maternal grandparents meant when I lost my mother, I lost all of my blood relatives. Effectively, I was alone. To be honest, being alone, remaining non reliant on anyone had been much easier to deal with than opening up, laying your soul bare and having it destroyed and crushed in one swift blow.
Discovering the man I needed like oxygen was already engaged, and playing me, for my disgustingly colossal inheritance, almost finished off what small amount of faith and hope I possessed. In fact, had it not been for my best friend Charlotte and the welcome support of her family I would undoubtedly have caved under the weight of all that I went through over the past months. Inheriting money I didn’t want or need, on top of Jonah and his betrayal was almost too much to bear. The Collins family had been my only means of sharing that load so it didn’t destroy me. Coming to France was my escape. My way of finding solace and much required breathing space. Jonah turning up threatened to hamper both, and I wasn’t going to allow him to pull me under.
Wading into the dark blue waters of the Mediterranean Sea, I welcomed the refreshing sensation it offered. Taking in a lungful of air before I plunged in, submerging my body fully into the salty depths. Instead of my usual walking or running away from problems and issues, swimming away from them and the cause of all my anguish, currently stood watching on the hot shore, seemed the exact thing to do. Relationships with men always ended this way. After what Jonah had put me through, he was no different. And yet he was. He was so different on so many levels. That’s the reason I had to get away from him and urgently.
Surfacing, I began to swim. Swimming was something I was competent at. In my mother’s attempt to merge herself into Chicago’s elite, she enrolled me into every class or group that gave her access to the city’s most influential mothers. From a very young age and whenever I was home from private school, Gina used me to gain higher status and made no secret of it. Right now I was thankful for the endless swimming tuition she paid for. It meant putting as much distance between me, and the man I was unable to stop loving, would be achieved quickly. With each stroke, I moved further away from him. I didn’t afford myself the luxury of looking back. Being unable to trust myself not to fall for Jonah’s untruths a second time, spurred me on. Each fluid movement took me further out to sea and further away from my Achilles heel, or so I believed. Panic hit me as a strong hand grasped my ankle and pulled me backwards, forcing my body to spin. Holding my head above the water, Jonah’s arms wrapped firmly around my waist has I tried to escape from his hold. Struggling brought me nothing but a mouthful of sea water which made me choke as the saltiness flooded my throat. Sapphire eyes assessed me with concern as my arms thrashed in an attempt to regain composure.