Divinely Living (Surviving Series) (19 page)

His eyes left me and landed on his nephew. Straightening his shoulders, Jonah’s outside appearance was one of dead calm and control, the pulsating throb in his jaw and hard glint in his piercing eyes told that he was anything but.

“What a surprise this is, Jonah,” The older man spoke first, his Irish accent lighter than Jonah’s but audible, none the less. His tone was flat as if it were taking great effort to merely acknowledge his last remaining family member. That fucked me off all the more and spiralled my anger into a suffocating knot of fury that stuck in my throat and lodged in my chest.

Sensing my mood, Jonah shot me an ‘I’ll deal with this’ glance then turned his head and spoke in the same dead pan voice his Uncle used. “Benjamin.”

“Aren’t you going to introduce me to your dinner companion, Jonah? I remember investing heavily in ensuring you were raised with the highest standards of politeness and courtesy.”

“Cut the crap, Ben, you know full well who I am.” The words fell from my mouth, clipped, dripping in sarcasm and I couldn’t care less, as all rationale and ingrained manners flew straight out of the fucking window.

Outrage flickered in his eyes and then dimmed, his posture remaining composed. “There’s no mistaking the daughter of Gina Matthews,” his lip curled in a sneer, “you’re the image of her.” His eyes ran the length of my body again in a leering gaze that made my skin crawl. “Yes, you’re definitely her offspring, in every way.”

“What do you want, Benjamin?” Jonah’s answer was sharp, the annoyance in his voice audible. “Pleasantries were never your strong point. So, as Ava so eloquently put it, cut the crap and explain why the hell you felt the need to inject yourself into our company and what the hell you want from us?”

The hateful look he pinned Jonah with, had my fists bunching in my lap. They wanted to connect with the smug bastard’s face as much as my mind, heart and soul wanted them to.

“You have a short memory Jonah,” Benjamin snarled. “Since when did speaking to me in that way become acceptable?” He glared at me. “Seems outside influences are having a profound affect on your ability for respect. Bringing the worst out of the men they proclaim to love is a trait all Dawson women inherit.”

“Fuck you,” I spat. He held out the bait and I took it. Defending my mother was not something I was used to doing, I was always the first to condemn and bring her down. But insinuating she had deserved Alex’s wrath because she brought it upon herself even if through no fault of her own, was an insult not even I could or was willing to take on the chin.

“Oh Savannah,” he chuckled without humour, “you’re more like her than you want to admit. She was cursed with the same dirty mouth as you too. It was one of her most appealing traits.”

“You never really knew my mother,” I said, my voice firm, “you didn’t earn enough to gain her interest or the use of her dirty mouth.”

A nauseating mixture of alcohol, tobacco, and strongly scented cologne washed over me, as Benjamin leaned towards me. “Maybe not, but many did.”

“Enough,” Jonah’s growl was menacing, his tension palpable and his eyes fixed firmly on his Uncle. “Just say what you came over here to say then go, before I show you the door myself.”

“How dare you?” Benjamin’s speech mildly slurred his composure slipping. The smell of strong liquor now emanated from him also, the stench overwhelming and nauseating. “Don’t forget who I am and what I’m capable of, regardless of our family connection.”

“Sharing the same surname is our only family connection,” Jonah threw back. His shoulders were straight, his body wound tightly. Benjamin lacked his nephew’s physical size or presence and from the flexing of Jonah’s hands, it wouldn’t take much more for him to show his older, intoxicated Uncle how lacking he was. “Insult my fiancée again and you’ll witness who I really am and what I’m capable of.  Ava doesn’t deserve to be insulted by an old drunk who’s pissed off that his payday didn’t materialise. ”

Benjamin stood back a step, shock visibly stunning him when the word ‘fiancée’ left Jonah’s lips. A slow, wicked smile that didn’t reach my eyes spread across my face, my pleasure at his physical reaction to our engagement evident.

“You can’t marry her.” Benjamin ran a hand through his overgrown grey hair. “Proposing to her was not what we agreed.”

“I asked Jonah to
marry me,
you asshole.” The venom in my voice surprised even me. “After finding out that Darcy was a pathetic attempt at revenge on your part, there was no stopping me from proposing. In the not too near future, your nephew will own half of everything I own, including the business you were so eager to get your hands on.” His face turned thunderous, my enjoyment heightened. “Asking Jonah to seduce me was the best thing you could have done for the both of us. Only we win, Benjamin and you lose.” I sat back and took another sip of water, my eyes never losing contact with his. “Maybe I do share a lot of my mother’s traits. My ability to take wealth from evil, power crazed men like yourself and Alex being one of them.”

“You have no idea how to handle money or power on the magnitude you now possess,” he growled, “asking my nephew to befriend and guide you was in
your
best interest Savannah, not mine. With our combined support, we would have ensured your inheritance was safely preserved with only little involvement from yourself, which according to Jonah is exactly what you wanted. It’s also what your mother and Alex would have wanted.”

Jonah shook his head and exhaled loudly. “She knows
everything
Benjamin, including the fact that you asked for my help before I even met her. And who knows what her mother or Matthews wanted? That’s certainly not something we ever discussed.”

“I knew Alex,” Benjamin bit out, “he would have wanted me to make sure all of his assets were taken care of correctly in order for his business to continue to grow and thrive. For God’s sake, I was the one he came to when he decided to leave everything he owned to you Savannah. He asked for my guidance then and I know he would expect me to offer that same guidance to you now.”

“God, I’m growing so tired of this bullshit,” I threw back my head, my voice almost a cry of frustration. “I don’t care what your fucked up relationship with that man was or wasn’t, it’s not even important now. My private affairs are none of your damn business, Benjamin.”

“Excluding me is a huge mistake, young lady. I know the shareholders of that company, I know how it ticks, how it works on every level. You will live to regret your decision to dismiss my offer of help so easily.”

Jonah pushed back in his chair, the scrape of wood on the tiled floor drew attention from other diners. Not wanting to cause a scene out of respect for Giovanni and his hard earned reputation for running a pleasant, tranquil atmosphere, I shook my head and motioned for him to remain in his seat. Shooting Jonah a reassuring glance, he reluctantly stayed put. My eyes moved back to his Uncle.

“Whatever your reasons were for wanting your hands on Alex’s assets, it’s not happening and that’s all you need to know from here in, Ben. You and I both know, you only want involvement with the business in Chicago because at one time it was plagued with fucked up illegal activity that made all those involved ridiculously wealthy for a while. But I can promise you that shit won’t be happening while I own it. And judging by the clause Alex had written into his will, the will you drafted, it’s mine for a generation of Jacobson’s to come whether I like it or not.”

The look of adoration Jonah gave me as the significance of my last sentence hit him, made me smile although inside the words felt empty and slipped out more to torment Benjamin then because I meant them. The thought of ever being a mother and having children terrified the shit out of me. Having no parental experience to pull on myself as an example, becoming a parent was not something I ever wanted or believed I would ever be. It may be the natural progression within a marriage to eventually add to your family but I didn’t think myself capable of making that addition. Yet another decision to make when the time came, I silently added to the ever growing list.

“So, just let me be crystal clear before you leave,” I added, “I don’t give a damn whether you wanted to take everything he owned out of revenge for what Alex did to your brother or because of jealousy. He shit on you, I get that. But get over it Benjamin because that son of a bitch shit on everybody he came into contact with. You’re one of a long line of people he used to get to the top, so just deal with it. We fly out to Chicago tomorrow and starting from Tuesday, Jonah and I will be running that place together. So you and any pathetic lowlifes still involved in the company can just go now, and fuck the hell off. Because if it takes me until my last breath, everyone of Alex’s old crowd will be eradicated with immediate affect. And if anyone wants to challenge
me or my ownership then let them bring it the hell on. You don’t scare me Benjamin and neither do they.” I reached across the table and took Jonah’s hand in mine. “My husband is all the protection and guidance I need and personally, I can’t think of anybody more qualified for the job than he is.”

Pride swelled in Jonah’s chest, I could see it clearly as it expanded simultaneously with the nod of agreement he gave me. My speech sounded brave, courageous even, but inside fear and dread still remained embedded under my skin. I had no idea where the strength to stand my ground appeared from and even less idea that I was capable of doing so. Benjamin’s entire being repulsed me; his similarity to Alex was astounding and undoubtedly the reason why the words I spoke came so easily and without thought. Maybe that’s also the reason why from somewhere way down in the pit of my churning stomach, my own inner strength decided it was time to kick in. For the first time in my life, it was time to stop being the type of woman that men like Benjamin and my step father saw as weak, pathetic and disposable, and became the strong, confident woman my trip to Chicago would need me to be. Tomorrow was going to be a huge turning point in my life. And while my past continued to haunt me and maybe always would, I couldn’t allow my future and the unknown do the same. Changes were needed to shift from surviving to living, and now was the time.

A frowning Scarlett, carrying our entrees with ease from the kitchen to the side of us, caught my attention. This time when Jonah began to rise from his seat I didn’t stop him. I’d seen and heard enough from Benjamin and told him all he needed to know. As far as he was concerned, the conversation was over and his unwanted presence had been allowed a longer audience than it deserved. Jonah’s defence of me made his loyalty clear and I loved him for it. But in doing so, he was now destined to live like me. Turning his back on the last family member had made him alone. Knowing how lonely and desolate being so could be, I vowed internally to ensure he never regretted his decision to stand by me instead of his Uncle. We would be each other’s family and that’s exactly the way I wanted it.

As she approached our table, Scarlett’s blue eyes narrowed and her frown deepened. Her gaze burned into a dejected looking Benjamin as she spoke. “Are you okay, Ava? Does Joey need to show this man the door?”

Jonah shook his head firmly. “It’s fine. He was just leaving.”

“Do you know what really makes me detest you Benjamin?” I said in a hushed voice. “You asked the only family member you have, to whore himself out for money. You abused his loyalty and his love and in the end you ended up with nothing. Darcy was a low move but nothing compared to using Jonah as you did.”

Benjamin offered no protest or answer as Jonah nodded towards the door, gesturing from him to leave. He turned towards the entrance with a slight hunch to his shoulders. Rejection was a bitch, a lesson I learned from birth and I could see its affect on anyone from miles away. I just couldn’t determine whether he was suffering because of my rejecting him from having any further dealings where my inheritance was concerned, or if it was because of his nephew who he had raised since a child’s rejection. I hoped it was the latter. At least then I could believe the man possessed a small fragment of the decency that Jonah was filled with. 

Pausing as he passed me, he looked over his shoulder at me, his expression blank. “You really are like your mother, Savannah, in many ways. She possessed good qualities too. From what little I did know of her, she deserved better than Alex. Try not to hate her too much; some of us just don’t know how to live without money. It’s a compulsion embedded within us that drives even the sanest of people to do the most insane things at times. Gina was a prime example of that. Unfortunately, so am I.”

“I don’t hate her for the lifestyle she chose,” I whispered, my eyes glassing over with tears. “I hate her for leaving me.”

With a nod of his head and a last look at Jonah, he spoke no more, headed for the door and left.

“Are you okay, babe?” Scarlett placed our plates on the table and pinned me with a look of sympathy that threatened to have the tears I was fighting back, falling down my face.

“Are you okay, Ava?” Jonah retook his seat and grasped my hand in his. His eyes were warm, but an unmistakable hint of sadness clung to him that increased the sadness I was becoming consumed in.

“Yes,” I replied numbly. “I’m just hungry.”

“Who was that anyway?” Scarlett gestured towards the door with a nod. “He was with a crowd of suits earlier but stayed on for drinks after they left.”

“He’s nobody of importance.” Jonah’s voice was firm. “And now it’s over with.”