Divinely Living (Surviving Series) (15 page)

Before leaving, Thomas rounded his desk and rested on it directly in front of me. His face wore genuine sympathy as he reached for my hands and gave me a genuine smile.

“Charlotte misses you like crazy you know. She’s just as miserable as you are honey.”

What the fuck was wrong with me, and my tears? His warm words had them pooling in my eyes in a second as I gazed back at him.

“Is it that obvious?” I sniffed while swiping a tear off my cheek.

“If there’s one thing I do know Savannah, it’s that both of my children love you and want only the best for you. As we all do.”

“I love them too,” I sniffed again, “But I’ve hurt them both. I don’t deserve either of them.”

Standing, Thomas pulled me to my feet and enveloped me in a hug. I envied Charlotte for having a father who loved his children as much as Thomas evidently did. A factor that was sorely missed in my life and a huge part of me wished I had.

“Oh honey, we all hurt the ones we love at times. What defines true love is our ability to forgive and forget. I’m in no doubt all three of you will learn to do that in time. There’s too much love between you not to do so.”

“How is Charlotte?” I asked and enjoying the warmth of his fatherly hug.

“Driving her mother and I mad as well as the poor Frenchman she dragged back with her from Paris. She’s not the easiest person to live with when her moods are good. While she’s missing you her moods are becoming intolerable.” He pulled back and gave me a wink. “She takes after her mother in that department.”

I chuckled while having visions of a rampaging Charlotte. “She does have a way of expressing herself.”

“That she does,” Thomas gave a soft chuckle also.

“And what about Cam, how’s he doing really?”

“There are many things I love about my son Savannah. His ability to love and care for others unconditionally is one of them. But just because he loves someone doesn’t mean that that love has to be returned. He’s finding out for the first time in his life that the one thing he wants the most doesn’t feel the same way. We all face that at some point.”

Holding me at arms length, his eyes were sincere. “He’s hurting right now but he’ll come round. So will Charlotte. All she’s doing is protecting her baby brother and his feelings. They care about you too much to exclude you from their lives completely.”

“I hope so,” I muttered, “loving people really sucks.”

“I know so.” His hand squeezed mine. “Just give them time honey. Both my children believe in forgiveness eventually.” He threw me another mischievous wink. “That trait they inherited from me.”

Reaching up, I placed a kiss on Thomas’s cheek. “I can’t thank you enough for what you’ve done for me. I’ll find a way to repay you some day.”

He smiled warmly before wrapping an arm around my shoulders. “Just be happy and find your way, that’s repayment enough.”

Grasping a heavy file from his desk he placed it in my hands and escorted me through the office door.

“From what I here Jonah Jacobson is a fine young man and an excellent solicitor. Jonathan speaks highly of him. Does he make you happy?”

“Yes,” I replied without hesitation.

“Good.” Holding the entrance door open for me, I exited onto the kerb.

“Then get him to look over the file, he’s as qualified as any to advise and support you. Lean on him Savannah, his knowledge will prove very useful.”

“I will,” I agreed with a firm nod. And I hopped into the waiting taxi determined to do just that.

***

Throwing open the front door to my apartment, the fragrant scent of something delicious cooking in the kitchen wafted through the entrance. The Kings of Leon sang of sex being on fire and as I walked into the open plan living room. I smiled widely at the sight of Jonah in the throes of creating a culinary masterpiece while singing and dancing along to the loud music. His hair was damp from a recent shower; his ripped body outlined against a black t-shirt and grey sweat pants. With a kitchen towel thrown across his shoulder, he was stirring something to a pulp in a large pan on top of the stove. Leaning against the doorframe, I stood quietly and watched him. My heart constricted in my chest as love for him spread through my body and heated my blood. The epitome of power and strength was also a domesticated god, as at ease in a kitchen as he was in the bedroom. He moved around with graceful ease, the flex of his muscular arms and back as he did so was a huge turn on. Dropping my shoes to the wooden floor, the thud grabbed his attention. Turning his head sharply, the smile that spread across his face made my panties wet and my heart stutter.

“Hey handsome,” I said brightly. Rounding the kitchen island, I placed the file Thomas gave me on the worktop then pressed a kiss to his jaw. His arm wrapped around my waist instantly and pulled me into his side.

“Hey yourself,” he replied with a kiss to the top of my head. “I’ve missed you, Ava.”

“I missed you too, Mr Jacobson. Looks like you’ve been busy.” Nodding towards the simmering pot of goodness, my mouth watered and stomach grumbled.

“I had a hard workout, gives me one hell of an appetite.” The gleam in his eye suggested he meant more than just needing a good meal.

“Easy tiger,” I teased with a playful tap to his stomach. “I need food before dealing with your appetite.”

Chuckling to himself, he released me, headed to the fridge and pulled out a chilled bottle of wine. Filling two wine glasses with the honey coloured liquid, he handed me one then took a seat at the island. The wine was cool and refreshing as I took a long drink and sat beside him.

“So how did it go with Thomas today?” he asked while sipping his wine.

“Okay.”

“Ava?” He questioned my short reply.

Sighing into my glass, I knew honesty would be the best policy but also that revealing all about Cameron would not be easy. Jonah’s possessive nature where I was concerned made me doubt his ability to accept the fact that his instincts regarding Cameron’s feelings for me were right all along, without him flying into a jealous fit. Deciding to test that thought, I swallowed hard and went with the honesty option because lies could not be a dictating part of our relationship any longer. I couldn’t ask of Jonah what I wasn’t prepared to do myself.

“You were right about Cameron.” I paused as Jonah’s jaw hardened.

“Go on,” he said with a snarl.

“He does have feelings for me. Seems everyone knew he did, but me.”

Jonah’s hands tightened around the stem of his wine glass with white knuckled force. “Did the fucker try anything?”

“No he didn’t,” I squeezed his tense arm in a soothing gesture. “He just needed to get things off his chest. We talked, I told him there would never be anything between us more than friendship and he accepted that.” I turned sideways to face him and laid my head on his shoulder. “I’m in love with you, nothing and no-one will ever change that.”

His hand eased as he placed it on the work surface. Clutching both my hands, he pulled me across him into a straddling position across his thighs. “You’re mine sweetheart. As long as he got that message I’ll refrain from beating the shit out of him for now.”

Placing my arms around his neck, I pulled his head forward and pressed my cheek against his. “He got the message I promise you. But it was hard to hurt him like that. Charlotte and Cameron are the only real friends I’ve ever had and I miss them both.”

Sweeping loose red curls from my forehead, Jonah’s hands moved beneath my chin and tilted my head backwards. “I know you miss them sweetheart. I hate it that their dislike for me has turned them against you.”

“If that’s the way they feel then so be it,” I shivered as his lips brush across my jaw line. “I’m never letting your sexy ass go again.”

“I love it when you get possessive with me. It’s such a fucking turn on,” he whispered against my skin. I could feel his thickening cock nudge against my open sex, the crown resting between my fleshy folds. The parting of his lips as I squirmed in his laps told me I needed to derail the direction we were heading in and fast before we began something that wouldn’t be finished until morning.

“As much as I am powerless to resist you,” I reached backwards, picked up the thick file of paperwork and thrust it against his chest. “You have homework, hot shot.”

His dark brows rose in surprise and curiosity. Scooting off his lap, I picked up my wine glass, took a sip and walked to the cooker to check the food resting on top that smelled more enticing by the second.

“What is all this?” Jonah asked while my nose was inhaling a lungful of delicious goodness.

“Christ that smells good,” I said aloud and taking another sniff.

“Savannah?” The bite of authority his voice always had when he was either pissed at me or commanding me to come never failed to arouse the shit out of me or grab my attention.

“I’m starving,” I whined in a childish voice that was unbecoming of a twenty two year old woman.

“You answer me and then I’ll feed you,” he answered calmly. “What’s in here that needs my urgent attention?”

Knowing I wasn’t going to get my own way anytime soon, I turned to face him and crossed my arms over my chest in yet another childish gesture.

“Everything we need to know regarding A.M Enterprises and the whole sordid details of my inheritance. Cameron and Thomas have been compiling all the information we’re going to need for our trip to Chicago. Thomas told me to hand it over to you and let you advise me. He seems to think you’re more equipped to take care of me than anyone.”

That panty dropping smile returned as he opened the file and began rifling through it. His forehead wrinkled and eyes sharpened with every turn of a page. In need of a shower, I decided to leave him to it. After telling him so, I crossed the floor space towards the hallway. His whispered “Ava” made me turn on my heels.

“Yes?”

“Thank you for this,” his voice was low but dripping in sincerity.

“Thank you for what exactly?”

“Thank you for finally letting me in and allowing me to take care of you. It means the world to me.”

I shrugged my shoulders, “Who else would I turn to? It’s you and me from now on in, Jacobson. You may live to regret ever wanting to take me and all my shit on though, once you started delving deeper through that lot.”

He shook his head in amusement. “I love you and your shit, Miss Matthews. I want and can handle both.”

Turning again, I reached the hallway door before shouting over my shoulder. “And before you ask, no we can’t keep the Harley’s or the damn yacht. I have no intentions of dying from speed overkill or drowning.”

Not waiting for a reply, I donned a ridiculously happy grin as I padded down the hallway and disappeared into the bathroom for a much needed shower.

The words
the flights are booked
and
we leave on Monday evening
echoed loudly in my ears. Unable to fight the churning of my stomach as the words seeped into my brain, I jumped quickly from the sofa and ran down the hallway. Flinging open the bathroom door, I sunk to my knees, leaned into the toilet and threw up. Jonah’s footsteps followed quickly behind me but did nothing to stop the waves of emotion rolling in the pit of my gut that racked my body.

“Its okay baby,” he soothed, his hands holding back my hair while I continued to heave. Fear was a bitch when it grabbed you by the throat and at that moment it was squeezing the life out of me. Staring into the bottom of the pan, the enormity of what we were about to do slammed into me hard. What the fuck was I thinking? What the hell would returning to Chicago actually achieve? Why did I ever think going back there was a good idea? I had no answers to any of the questions running through my mind and still the sickness continued. Jonah’s hand rubbed my back and he remained beside me until the waves of nausea finally began to subside. Sitting on my ass, I leaned my back against the wall and held my head in my hands. Jonah sat to my side with his arm across my shoulders and his hand stroking my hair. Pulling my knees under my chin, I leaned into the heat of his body. A chill sank into my bones, my body shaking under its coldness. I sat shivering in silence with only Jonah’s warmth for comfort. Suddenly nothing made sense and I felt lost, completely and utterly lost.

Closing my eyes, I attempted to control my erratic breathing and calm the painful beating of my heart. It had been a long time since my past affected me in such a physical way and it caught me totally unawares. But after learning years ago to trust in my natural reaction to situations, backing out of the trip became more of a reality. My survival instincts had served me well and right now they were telling me that no good would come of travelling to Chicago. The vomiting was a sign to listen to what they were saying and forget the whole fucking thing. The million dollar question was, would I take the advice or not?

“You don’t have to go through with this. I won’t allow you to put yourself through this unnecessarily,” Jonah said as if able to read my thoughts.

I leaned further into him, my body absorbing his heat. “The thought of going there scares the shit out of me. I don’t know why I thought going there was a good idea.”

“If you don’t want to go then we won’t, simple as that sweetheart. The only person putting you under pressure is yourself. I don’t care what you decide either way.”