Divinely Living (Surviving Series) (26 page)

A steaming mug of addiction was placed carefully in my palms as Jonah re-entered the room and settled on the sofa beside me. His bare chest was covered with a t-shirt and he looked as tormented as I felt. Balancing the mug in one hand, I took one of his hands in my free hand and gave it a small squeeze and smiled faintly at him. Kissing my knuckles quickly, he turned to Mason and spoke. “I’m prepared to sit and listen to anything you have to say, Mason; I think you deserve the chance to tell your side of the story. But I will not allow you to put, Ava through any more stress considering what she as already been through today. So if at anytime I believe the conversation is becoming too uncomfortable for her or she finds it too upsetting I will ask you to leave and I expect you to do so without question. Is that clear?”

“You have my word,” Mason answered with a firm nod. His face turned to me. “Where do you want me to start, Ava?”

“Where all stories start, at the beginning,” I replied, and settled myself further against the sofa. Mason took a deep breath, sat back in his chair and began revealing the untold story of my life.

“Your mother was truly the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, second only to you, Ava. From the first time she looked up at me with those stunning green eyes I was hooked. And I’ve been half crazed with loving her ever since.” He stood and scrubbed a hand over his face. “We met when we were both thirteen. She was a friend of my twin sister, Margaret, and on the rare occasions she was allowed to hang out at our place I took notice. She was so full of life then, so outgoing and bubbly. But she also had a caring, loving side too. Gina Dawson could make you feel like you were the only person in her life that mattered, like you were the most important thing in the world to her. And for a short time I was that person. That is until your grandfather found out about us.”

He swallowed hard, as if the words he was about to speak weighed on him painfully, before he continued.

“Your grandfather was a total fucking tyrant. He was an arrogant, selfish son of a bitch who kept his wife and daughter on a tight leash even when he was away on business or just not around in general. They were terrified of him but Gina always tried so hard not to show it. When I questioned the bruising on her arms or face, she dismissed it as a side effect of being clumsy but I knew better. My dad had a brief run in with your grandfather over a business contract that didn’t pan out as it should and was threatened with his life for doing so. My dad is no coward, Ava, but when threats started to be made against his wife and children, he backed well off.  You didn’t fuck with James Dawson and you certainly didn’t fuck with his daughter. I’m probably the only man alive who did both and actually lived to speak about it, although there have been so many times over the last twenty three years when I wish he had killed me. Anything would have been better than living without either of you for so long.”

The pain on his face was becoming unbearable. Scooting off the sofa, I crossed the space between us and clutched his hand. His head dipped, his eyes zoning in on where our bodies connected.  “I’ve waited so long to hold your hand, to cuddle you close and comfort you like a father should and a daughter deserves. I will die a happy man now for having held my baby girl’s hand.”

The overwhelming desire to ease his pain gripped me but inside I couldn’t allow him to stop talking until every last word relevant to my parentage was spoken.

“I deserve to know everything, Mason. I’ve waited so long for the truth and you are the only one that can give me that. I’m just sorry it’s causing you so much pain to do so. I really am.”

His hand squeezed mine and a small smile tugged at his lips. “I’m not prepared to stop now, no matter how hard it is to remember.”

It felt wrong to let go of his hand but I did. I resumed my place on the sofa, nestled in the nook of Jonah’s arm and listened intently.

“James was rarely home but when he was his word was law and to hell with anyone, including his family, who tried to defy him. Gina kept our relationship a secret, she swore me to do the same too, which I did without question. We met up when we could, exchanged occasional phone calls but apart from that your mother was practically a prisoner in her own home. She was driven to and from school, was followed wherever she went and so was her mom. James wanted to know where they were at all times and more importantly that they were abiding by his rules. He had great plans for Gina. Her beauty made her a prize catch and only the best was good enough for his daughter whether she agreed or not.

I came from a middle class background, was nowhere near his acceptable financial level and while I made exceptional grades at school would never have been deemed worthy for Gina. So we fooled around in private, met in secret and were so caught up in each other we forgot about the risks. Both of us believed we were so mature when the truth was we were only kids. Insanely in love, naive kids who didn’t take precautions and who at fifteen years old found out we were going to be parents.

To say Gina was terrified when she found out she was pregnant with you is an understatement. But she was fiercely determined to keep you whatever the cost. I was a fucking teenager about to be a father and all I could think about was keeping the both of you safe. I had a few hundred in a bank account and begged her to leave with me but she refused. She said that James would find us wherever we went and the repercussions for running away would be severe. She swore me to secrecy and assured me she would handle things in her own way and that when the time was right she would come for me. The right time just never came.”

“She hid the pregnancy for as long as she could. Our contact became less and less until about six months into her pregnancy all contact stopped. I went out of mind with wanting to hear she was okay, that the both of you were okay but heard nothing. Margaret came home from school one day and told me that Gina had been pulled out of all classes and then gave me a note your grandmother had passed onto her. It said she was fine, that her parents knew about the pregnancy but only your grandmother knew the identity of the father. James swore to kill whoever the scum who knocked his daughter up was and she refused to tell him, to protect me. At that moment she was safe, her parents were going to help her with the pregnancy and any involvement from me would fuck that all up. I truly believed what she wrote and although it broke my heart to do so I agreed that staying away was the best thing to do for the two of you at least.”

“I understand the need to keep the people you love safe and protected, Mason,” Jonah interrupted, his jaw clenched and teeth gritted. “But she was your carrying your child. And if what you say is true about her father, you had no proof that what she was telling you was the truth. How could you just walk the hell away?”

“I couldn’t. I didn’t I agreed it was for the best but wasn’t able to stay away. You’re right, she
was
carrying my baby. I was a child but knew what I wanted and who I wanted, and Gina and Savannah were both. So I went against her wishes and decided to man up, face up to James and confess everything. The last thing I remember of the day I went to confront him was walking into his office and telling him I was the one. I woke up three weeks later in hospital with my parents beside my bed convinced I was going to die.”

“God no,” I gasped, my hands flying to my mouth. I was already feeling, a strong sense of attachment
for Mason. The thought of my father being so viciously attacked while attempting to claim me hit me like a physical blow to the body. “The bastard attacked you?”

“He didn’t just attack me. He intended to kill me. According to your grandmother he actually believed he had.”

“My grandmother told you that?”

He nodded and sat back down in his chair. “Jennifer came to see me once when I was in recovery. I’d been in hospital for six weeks by then and wasn’t making much progress. I had so many broken bones, spinal injuries and swelling to the brain that I spent almost a year in hospital in total so when she came to see me I was unable to move, feed myself or barely speak. But the fact I was alive was all that mattered. No matter how broken I was physically, mentally I had a mother and child to recover for. That was the only thought that kept me going. Jennifer stayed for ten minutes or so, long enough to tell me that you had been born prematurely, that I had a daughter and that you were both doing fine. She assured me that she would allow no harm to come to either of you and she was putting plans in place to ensure that long term. In return, I was to stay away for good this time. I pushed too far, pushed James too far again, I would never see my daughter or Gina again. Then she left. And that was the last time I saw or heard from any of the Dawson family until I found Gina in Chicago years later.”

“You actually found us? I had no idea.” I shook my head incredulously when I thought of the truths and reality that had been kept from me for so long.

“Gina had no idea either I was in Chicago either. When I left the hospital, that photograph was waiting for me when I got home. My parents dragged the truth from Margaret straight after I was admitted. They were out of their minds with searching for a reason to why their beloved son was beaten to within an inch of his life. My sister couldn’t bear to see them suffering so badly so she told them everything. Apparently my dad went on a rampage, showed up at their family home and demanded a showdown with James. Thankfully he was on a business trip and only Jennifer was there. She managed to gain him entry without security knowing just long enough to tell him Gina was staying with her family in Chicago and that she had left this photograph for me. She told my dad to go take care of his son and she would take care of her daughter and grandchild. So that’s what my dad did. He brought me home from hospital and took care of me. And before I knew it two years had slipped by and I believed you were both lost to me forever.”

“Gina told me she bummed with friends in Chicago. I vaguely remember different houses and lots of different people we stayed with back then. None of them seemed like family.”

“I have no explanation for where she actually stayed in those first few years, Ava. I’m afraid that really is a question I can’t answer for you. Gina was already married to Alex before I found her. But I do know that your grandmother did have a sister living in Chicago and that Gina did stay with her briefly. Appears she fled and went to ground not long after arriving there. And that is honestly as much as I know.”

Jonah clutched me tighter to his sound as I tensed at his side. My next question was going to be the hardest of all and God knows I was dreading the answer.

“You must have seen the state Gina was in when you finally found her. How could you leave us to deal with that heartless bastard alone?”

For the first time since I first met Mason, his entire face darkened and life flickered into his brown eyes. Raw hatred radiated from his body and every muscle straining against his clothing bunched tightly.

“After years of searching, I finally tracked Gina down and learned of her marriage to Matthews. Changing her surname was the reason why finding her was so difficult. I was looking for a Gina Dawson and Gina Matthews could have been anyone. It was press coverage of their wedding a few years previous in a social magazine that finally allowed me to find her. There was no mistaking my Gina in the wedding photographs. So I began digging. I needed a way in, a way of gaining access to you both that he wouldn’t be able to disagree to. As soon as I started learning of his shady business dealings and abusive treatment of women I knew I had to get you both the hell out of there. I turned up at A.M Enterprises, drew on the knowledge I earned while studying business after my recovery period and talked my way into an interview for a position that was available within the company. My only intention was a face off with the fucker, but when I showed up he wasn’t there. The three of you were holidaying in the Mediterranean and would be for weeks. Deciding to go through with the interview anyway, I saw working there, as a way in. I aced the interview and they employed me in his absence. While he was away I dug around, scratched beneath the surface and found out everything I need to know about Matthews to nail his balls to the wall.”

“I remember that holiday,” I said quietly. “We stayed on his yacht and sailed around Europe. My mother actually smiled on that holiday. She killed herself a week after we returned.”

Mason’s eyes closed and tears spilled from the corners. “I had no idea you’d returned. I didn’t even know of her death until it was broadcast on the news. I was told the three of you would be holidaying for weeks. Alex never showed up for work. As far as I was concerned you were all still in Europe somewhere. The day I find out about her suicide, I wanted to die too. I’d lost her for good, indefinitely and there was no way of ever getting her back again. The only reason I didn’t end my miserable fucking life then was you, my daughter.”

“I learned that Alex adopted you after marrying Gina. Jesus, knowing that cut through me like a knife to the heart. I was your father, not that fucker and it was time to claim you. But I couldn’t just walk in and take you, not when he had legal parental rights. I knew I just needed to bide my time, keep as close to him as possible and try to watch out for you as much as I could. That’s where Margaret came in.”

“Margaret?” My interest rose, “Your sister Margaret?”

My eyes flew wide open and my jaw dropped. Sudden knowledge stirred within me and the reason I felt so much familiarity when around Mason finally fell into place. The raven coloured hair, those rich brown eyes and the olive tinted skin. I’d seen them before. Only it wasn’t Mason who owned them.