Choosing Waterbirth: Reclaiming the Sacred Power of Birth (18 page)

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Chapter 24—

Birth Center Waterbirth

Lalita Karensa, born July 27, 1999, 11:36 A.M., twentytwo inches long, eight pounds, eleven ounces.

There is nothing quite like waiting for a baby to be born. Your whole life goes on hold while you count and time contractions, you fold and refold baby clothes, and you wake up every morning wondering if today will be the day. This experience of endless waiting is universally prevalent and frustrating. So much so that by the time your due date arrives, and often goes by without the birth of your baby, you begin to feel you would do anything to have your baby be born.

I think this may be a part of the reason why so many women are willing to have their labors induced. Particularly when you couple this endless waiting with two or three trips to the doctor only to be sent home because the labor was "false." Women can get pretty worn down by this. They can lose their courage, their confidence, and their belief in their own ability. No one likes to arrive at the doctor's feeling ill, only to be sent home without a diagnosis. Laboring women experience this type of thing all of the time.

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This is another reason why I knew I wanted to give birth at home. I couldn't imagine having to leave my home and travel somewhere in order to give birth. It seemed so disruptive, so wrong. I wondered how I would be able to relax and focus inward while in transit, and even more, in the unfamiliar surroundings of a hospital, with people I didn't know surrounding me, with bright lights glaring.

Fortunately, I have been lucky enough not to have to have that experience of birth. But I did give birth to one of my babies out of my home. Lalita Karensa, my fifth baby: born in water, just not born at home.

It gave me a lot of understanding to have had to leave my home to birth Lalita. I suddenly understood a woman's inability to relax and let her labor happen in the hospital setting. Nothing about the idea of having to leave my home was comforting or reassuring. All I wanted to do in labor was hunker down and have my baby.

The thought of having to travel while in labor made me feel very tense and uncertain. So much so that I made three trips to the birth center, prior to the baby actually being born.

At the Birth Center of the Blue Ridge in Charlottesville, Virginia, my surroundings were far better than they would have been in the hospital. The rooms were designed to mimic the home environment, with a double bed, a couch, and a few comfortable chairs in each room, along with the jacuzzi "birthing" tub. There was a kitchenette down the hall for food items, and a waiting room with a couch and a TV and VCR for loved ones not in the birthing room.

Nilakantan, the children, my parents, and other family and friends, were all welcome to be present for the birth, as per my wishes. The midwives were supportive and encouraging, and willingly allowed me to labor at my own speed. Which was just as well as I spent an entire night there waiting to feel comfortable enough in the unfamiliar surroundings to be able to relax fully and let my baby be born.

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July 26, 1999:

Today has been almost exactly the same as every other day for the last three weeks. I wake early to contractions that slow down once I get up and pick back up again in the afternoon. Today, however, my contractions are accompanied by a bloody show, the presence of which could signify that my cervix has begun to dilate.

I am hesitant to believe it, even though my contractions are coming every eight to ten minutes. In the last three weeks I have gone to the birth center three times, only to be told not much was happening. The last time I went, they told me I was three centimeters dilated and over fifty percent effaced, but was not yet in labor.

The baby is in a good position, and is very low. Already this birth differs from Madhuri's. My fear now is of not knowing in time. The birth center is over fortyfive miles away. Too far to travel if this baby decides to make a hasty entry. This thought is constantly in my mind as I go through each day counting contractions. When Madhuri was born, my labor did not get hard until the last two hours. I remember this now. I do not want to be driving for an hour in the car while I am in hard labor. Thus, every "set" of regular contractions has me ready for flight to the birth center.

I realize I am not feeling relaxed about this birth at all.

On the phone this morning, my sister Cassi, who had her first baby in water and her second baby in the hospital without water, told me the next time I had regular contractions, I needed to go to the birth center and get really settled in, and to tell myself I was not leaving until I had my baby, no matter if it took three days.

I think about that. I'm having regular contractions now. But I've had them for days, how can I know this is it? I look at the clock: three P.M. I decide to rest for an hour and then see if I am feeling any differently. I lie down but can't rest because the contractions are more painful when I lie down.

I get up and sit in the rocking chair instead. All the kids have gone to play at my sister's house and it is so quiet and

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still, so peaceful. I have a cup of tea, and the contractions are still coming.

When I use the bathroom, I notice more bloody show. I know this could be a sign of labor starting. I decide to go to the birth center.

At four o'clock my mother and I leave after having called Nilakantan to let him know what is happening. He is still at work but plans to meet us at the center later. I kiss the kids goodbye and tell them our baby might be coming. Originally I had wanted the kids to be at the birth center when the baby was born, knowing how important early bonding can be for the children and the new baby. But I can't bring myself to drag them into the center for a fourth time in three weeks. And I don't know how long I will be there. I decide they are better off at my sister's house.

The drive is pleasant. It is hot outside, with the temperature in the nineties, as is usual for July in central Virginia, and we run the air conditioning to stay cool. My mother laughs and talks with me as we drive in. I have been feeling very anxious since we left and I notice by the time we arrive in Charlottesville, where the birthing center is located, my contractions have slowed down. This makes me feel even more anxious and I take a few deep breaths to relax.

Jackie and Sandy, the midwife team, meet us at the center. We have decided to have photographs of this birth taken and Stephanie Gross, our photographer, is there as well. They are all smiles and welcoming, joking with me and reassuring me. The center had eight women due between midJuly and midAugust. All the other women have delivered. Only I

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am left. They tell me no one else is due for another three weeks which means I can stay there as long as I need to in order to birth my baby. I appreciate their offer of accommodation; it makes me feel more at home.

In the room I will be birthing in, I spend time by myself, trying to get used to the feel of the place. I like it here, the rooms are inviting and pleasant and the jacuzzi tub in the corner is reassuring. Nilakantan and my father have arrived and I can hear everyone in the other room laughing and talking. I wander in to see them and everyone asks me how I am doing.

I tell them not much different, and then I sit in a rocking chair and listen to them talk for a while. It's a neat feeling, now that I'm here. It feels more like a slumber party than a birth.

The evening is spent with me alternating walking and sitting in the chair, but my labor has not picked up. Finally, I'm tired and want to go to bed. Jackie checks my cervix for dilation before I go to lie down. I'm nervous as she does, knowing this check will tell whether or not I am in labor.

I am four centimeters dilated and officially in labor. She says the baby is good and low, she can feel the head. And she tells me, judging from the circumference of the head that she can feel, this baby is going to be smaller than the others, between seven and a half and eight pounds. A smaller baby sounds good to me.

Because active labor has not begun yet, we all decide to rest. In the birthing room, Nilakantan and I take the bed, Mother takes some pillows and sleeps on the floor at the foot of the bed, and Dad takes the

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couch. Stephanie is on a couch in another room, and Jackie and Sandy are downstairs in the basement rooms.

Everyone settles in to sleep. My contractions are too painful to sleep lying down, so I prop myself up with pillows and drift away. I have not been hungry since this afternoon, but I make sure to drink a carbohydrate drink, rich in minerals and electrolytes, to keep my strength up. Through the night, I drift in and out of sleep and make countless trips to the bathroom to pee. The contractions continue all night long, sometimes getting stronger and more regular, and then tapering off again.

At six A.M., I shake off the last vestiges of sleep, stretch and get up. Nilakantan and Mom and Dad awake with me. ''Where's that baby?" my Dad asks. I just smile and shrug. "On the way, I hope."

Coffee is put on and doughnuts are sent for. The birthing team is hungry. I find out my baby sister, Poorna, has spent the night outside sleeping in her car with two of her friends, holding vigil. I am so touched by this. She is the doughnut runner, sent back out again just as she returns to get more coffee.

Mom and I are alone together in the birthing room. Nilakantan is looking in a baby name book, and Dad has left for a meeting with clients. Mother tells me he is worried about missing the birth, and is going to be as quick as he can.

I'm tired from so many contractions and from only getting a little sleep and my contractions are becoming more painful. Mom asks me if I want the tub filled. I don't believe I am in active labor, but I decide to have it filled anyway, as I know it will be relaxing to be in the water.

By nine fortyfive the tub is ready. I feel slightly spoiled looking into the beautiful jacuzzi tub. A far cry from the horse trough I birthed the other babies in. But once I get in, I realize the water feels just the same. I'm so tired, I need