Choosing Waterbirth: Reclaiming the Sacred Power of Birth (16 page)

"I sure hope so, I can't stand waiting any longer!" We walk arminarm back into the house. On the couch she sits with me through a couple of contractions. Even without checking my cervix she can tell by the quality of the contractions that I am in labor. I am so relieved and all at once, I'm excited. I call my parents and tell them to cancel all their plans, we're having a baby, today! Today is their twentyfifth wedding anniversary, so they are going to spend most of the day celebrating together, and will only come over when the birth is imminent.

This leaves Mary and me alone, which is fine this time. I feel none of the anxiety I felt during Sampath's labor; this time I know what to expect.

Inside the house is dark and cool, outside it is heating up already. By eleven the temperature is eighty degrees. My contractions have continued to come, getting irregularly but progressively stronger. Mary checks my cervix and finds that I am four centimeters dilated already. I am so surprised; I have hardly felt I was in labor, and yet I have come so far already. This news does cause us a little bit of concern as the tub is not set up or even in the house yet.

Mary and I set to work moving the furniture in the living room around to make room for the tub. Outside, we scrub and rinse out the tub. During contractions, I stop and breathe, remembering to relax. The contractions still aren't

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painful, but they are definitely getting stronger. Once the tub has been cleaned and put inside, Mary begins filling it. She seems to think this baby could be coming soon. Outside, I sit on the front steps and soak up the sun. I am wearing a sleeveless shirt and the sun feels wonderful on my arms and my upturned face. An hour goes by and Nilakantan returns. My labor is much stronger now, and as I go in the house, I feel a sudden, strong desire to get into the water. It is close enough to full that I can get in. I shed my clothes and step into the warm water. It relaxes me immediately and the familiarity of it gives me a boost of confidence. But I am tired by now from not sleeping well, and I progress slowly.

An hour after I enter the tub, I get out so Mary can check my progress. I have only dilated two centimeters. As she feels my cervix, she can tell that the opening is tipped way back, which means the baby's head is not pressing on it as well as it could be. She thinks the baby is probably lying with his spine alongside mine in the posterior position, which is why his head is not pressing directly on the cervix.

She suggests that I stay out of the water for a while and do a few squats to see if that will help the cervix to open more effectively. I squat through the next couple of contractions, but I am so tired, I just want to sleep. I lie down on the floor and fall instantly into deep sleep. I sleep for nearly half an hour without a contraction.

Sleeping so soundly gives me some badly needed rest and rejuvenates me. The contraction that comes next wakes me. It is so strong it gets me up off the ground and back into the tub.

My labor is strong and regular now. I remember what this is like. I breathe through each pain and relax in between, resting my head on the edge of the tub. The sun slants across the room as it goes from early to late afternoon. My contractions continue to come, hard and close together through transition. This time is difficult, just as it was with Sampath. I make loud sounds through each pain, and breathe deeply. It is over very quickly, though, as I feel the urge to push.

When I birthed Sampath, I sustained a small tear from pushing out both of his shoulders at once. Mary has warned me Page 107

about this, so I can be conscious this time to go more slowly. She also warns that the baby may have to turn around into the more common anterior position with his back facing outward in order to be born, as he is lying in the posterior position, with his back facing inward, lying along my spine. This could be very painful for me, but I don't notice any difference while pushing and am surprised by how quickly his head crowns.

As in Sampath's birth, once his head appears at the opening, I reach down and touch him. His head comes out easily and I still want to push. Mary reminds me to go slowly, to stop pushing, but the urge is too powerful. I can't stop. She tells me to pant, and so I begin a light rapid breath through my mouth. It works and without a push, the baby's shoulders ease out one, and then the other.

I look down as the baby is born. The baby comes out faceup and as the arms are born, the baby reaches out to grasp the water. I reach down and take hold of the small hands; the fingers wrap tightly around mine, holding onto me. Half born and half unborn, the baby looks up through the water at me. One more push and the rest of the body is born. Mary checks for the sex: another boy. He has the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck once. She slides it over his head and then gently brings him to the surface. His face meets air, he inhales, and then wails, loud, gusting cries. After Sampath being so quiet, we are all surprised.

Covered in the white vernix that has kept his skin protected in the amniotic fluid, he quickly turns a bright pink from crying. I whisper to him softly, letting him know everything is fine. He settles at the sound of my voice, and looks suspiciously around him. He has a grumpy little face. He looks so English, like his daddy. Like a grumpy little old Englishman. I ease him back down into the water, and he begins to relax. Nilakantan peers over the edge of the tub at him, smiling at his grumpy countenance. "Well, I guess the next one will be a girl, huh?"

He was right.

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Chapter 22—

Thanksgiving Surprise

Rani Angela, born November 26, 1993, 1:32 A.M., twentytwo and a half inches long, weighing eight pounds, four ounces.

Three years later, I was waiting again. Our baby was due November 29, 1993. Having had Nataraja eight days late, I figured this baby would be late too. I expected her to come sometime during the first week of December, which is why I was completely surprised by Rani's earlier arrival.

November 25, 1993

Thanksgiving morning and I am once again anxiously awaiting a baby. I'm looking forward to today, to enjoying the company of family and friends, to good food, and fun.

Thanksgiving seems particularly appropriate this year, with the evidence of prosperity so obvious in the new baby.

I'm having contractions, as usual. But this morning they're a little different; more crampy and painful. I wonder if this means anything.

Mary told me yesterday that there are more "false" labors after holidays and special events than at any other time of year. The large meals are said to be the blame as they often Page 109

stimulate contractions. I do not believe it though. I tried the "large meal" technique with Nataraja and it got me nowhere. Still, as the contractions are still coming, I decide to have Mary come over and check my cervix for dilation, just to be sure. Her plans for Thanksgiving mean she will be an hour away. I know I'll feel more comfortable with her going if she finds that nothing much is going on.

On checking me, she finds nothing significant. My cervix has softened and has begun to thin, but labor is likely still a week or two away. It's the news I expected and I don't really mind. I have been so looking forward to Thanksgiving, I am glad I won't be missing it. Mary says she will come by and see me tonight on her way back home and Nilakantan and I wrap up the two boys and head to my parents' house to celebrate.

The day passes pleasantly. Lunch is delicious. I eat as much as I can with the baby so big. Everyone I see asks me when the baby is due. I tell them I've still got a week to go, yet.

The contractions are still coming every halfhour or so. I note them, but as they are not truly painful, they do not take my attention away from enjoying the day. I figure I will probably have them on and off now until the baby comes so I had better get used to them.

After lunch, we have tea and pumpkin pie, laughing and visiting, and talking about the year past and the rest still to come. Later the leftovers from lunch make a huge dinner. I lie down after dinner, to rest for a while and to time the contractions that are still coming irregularly. For twentyfive minutes, I have no contractions. I realize the contractions I had were just from the excitement of the day.

It is almost nine o'clock by now. The boys have fallen asleep on the floor. We decide to leave them there. Before we head out, I use the restroom and notice some sticky, pinkish mucus on my underwear. I wonder if that is the mucus plug. I know you can lose the mucus plug days, or even weeks, before beginning labor, but I am excited anyway. I have never lost my mucus plug before. On the way out the door, I tell my mother about it. She smiles at me excitedly and says that maybe this is it. I tell her I don't think so. My contractions

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have begun again since I got up from resting, but they are still irregular.

At home, I take a nice, long bath. We've put a new tub in the house, and the bath is now deep enough to cover my abdomen. I stay in there a long time. My contractions are still coming. I use them as a practice session; breathing deeply, focusing on relaxing all of my muscles, visualizing my cervix opening. In the tub, I relax from the day.

Once in bed, though, I am unable to sleep. My contractions seem more painful, now, and are coming every seven to ten minutes. At ten thirty, Mary calls. I tell her what is happening and she says she will stop by to see me on her way home in about an hour.

The house is warm with a fire burning in the stove and quiet with the boys gone. I sit in a rocking chair by the fire. Nilakantan sits close by in another chair. We make tea and spend the time waiting for Mary, talking and relaxing.

Mary arrives at 11:25. She sits with me for a few minutes as I have a contraction. It is strong and long enough that she wants to see what is going on with my cervix. On checking me she finds I am six centimeters dilated already. We are all surprised. I didn't even know I was in labor.

Nilakantan and Mary go into high speed, setting up the tub and hose and starting to fill it. I pace across the floor. Now that I have realized I am in labor, the contractions change, becoming stronger, longer, and closer together. Because I didn't know I was in labor, active labor is upon me without my having to wait through the early phase to get to this stage. It makes the labor seem very powerful.

My contractions have jumped from being seven to ten minutes apart to being three to four. Each contraction is powerful, stronger than the last. Even so, I do not find them painful.

When each one comes, I remember to relax all my muscles and to focus on allowing my cervix to open.

I know the tub has only just begun to fill and I am longing for the water already. I want to get in now, but I have to wait. When it is only half full, I decide I'm done waiting. They quickly add cold water to bring the temperature down

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to where it is cool enough, and then I get in. The water is warm and soothing, surrounding me. I relax into it, grateful for the comfort as my contractions continue to come stronger and closer together.

Nilakantan has called my parents to tell them it is time for them to come over; the baby's birth in imminent. He tells them to hurry, but they had been up since six o'clock that morning. They needed coffee before they could make it over. He calls them again, and a third time, telling them if they don't come now, they will miss the baby's birth.

I don't care if they make it or not, and I only barely hear him as he makes the calls. The labor is strong and powerful, each contraction building on the last. Transition comes and goes before I even know it. My parents arrive and I start pushing. Pushing is easy and the baby's head crowns in minutes. Next the shoulders, and then the rest of the baby. Mary feels for the sex—a girl.

Mary brings her up to the surface of the water. She is so pretty—wideeyed, with dimples. I want to hold her. Mary tries to hand her to me, but Nilakantan still has hold of my arms from supporting me while I pushed her out. I tell him to let go, but he doesn't hear me. He is completely absorbed by his daughter. I can hear him saying, "Oh, my God." I flap my arms, trying to get his attention. I have to tell him three times to let go before he hears me.

I take the baby into my arms and snuggle her close to me. Looking into her eyes, I can see she is one hundred percent there. Where Nataraja had an otherworldly quality to him, this little girl is completely present. So many thoughts run through my head as I look down at her. I know what she may go through as a woman in this world. I know what pain and happiness await her as she grows. My heart already aches in anticipation of the challenges she will face, and warms with the knowledge of the joy she will have. It is such a different feeling from what I felt when the boys were born. I recognize the difference and realize I have become a new mother once again.