Choosing Waterbirth: Reclaiming the Sacred Power of Birth (13 page)

Instinctual cues are always present, even when you are not in labor. However, they are often so subtle, you don't initially recognize them for what they are. It can help in discerning your instincts to think of them as a quiet voice, accompanied by a strong feeling; sensations you get in your heart, your gut, or your bones where you know something is so without having

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to think about it. Very often when you do think about it, your mind says, ''That can't be so." But in your heart, you know it is.

During pregnancy, this quiet voice often grows louder. So much of your energy is occupied with making the baby that your ability for cognitive thought can be diminished, leaving an internal environment ripe for following your instincts. As the pregnancy progresses and the baby grows, you may notice you are clumsier and more forgetful than you ever have been. You may also notice you have become highly intuitive, more in touch with your feelings and with those of the people around you, resulting in a sort of second knowledge. During pregnancy, do not be surprised if you habitually know who is on the phone before you answer it, if you have a feeling your mother is coming for a visit just before she arrives, or if you can sense the feelings of other people so completely, it is almost as if they were your own.

This change in perception, though frequently viewed as making you less able to handle your life, is actually the result of a normal physiological process that prepares you for the challenges of pregnancy and delivery. Being more open and more perceptive during pregnancy contributes to your ability to bond with your baby. During birth, it allows for a more direct access to the innate knowledge that will guide and strengthen you.

During birth, your feelings and your awareness—your instincts—will guide you every step of the way. They enabled me to give birth to five children naturally, and to be able to feel good about those experiences. I knew in my heart, and in my gut, that I wanted to have my babies at home, and I knew that the use of water during labor and delivery would help my process. To know what is good for you will require your becoming quiet enough to tune in and listen. If you listen carefully, will know where you will feel most comfortable giving birth, how you will feel most comfortable, and who you will feel most comfortable having around while you do.

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There are many good techniques to quiet your mind and to get in touch with your instincts. The two I have found to be most effective in my life are the "Timeout"

exercise and "Free Movement Dancing."

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Chapter 16—

TimeOut

This highly effective way to become aware of your instincts requires you take ten minutes out of your busy day to relax, unburden, ask questions of yourself, and find strength. I know the notion of finding ten minutes to be by yourself is asking a lot, but the benefits of this exercise both for pregnancy and in anticipation of birth make it worth the effort.

With five children, a house to run, a job to maintain, and a marriage to participate in, I still find time to do this simple relaxation exercise. It is invaluable. It keeps me in touch with that inner guidance system that, having led me through five births, continues to help me with raising the children. Bringing a sense of peace and space in a world where there isn't much, this simple exercise can refresh and rejuvenate you in the process of reconnecting you with your instincts.

This exercise is done in three parts. The first part is unburdening yourself of all of your worries, thereby freeing up your mind for the second part; the second part is asking yourself pertinent questions; leading to the third part which is finding your inner strength.

To practice this exercise, find a place that is as quiet as possible, preferably one where you won't be disturbed. Sometimes the only quiet place in my house is the bathroom, so that's where I go. When I do this, I tell my children I am putting myself in "timeout," hence, the name. They love this and are surprisingly understanding.

As I am all too often stressed to

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the maximum and storming around the house, practicing this "timeout" exercise gives me a muchneeded break, and gives the children a chance to be the understanding ones.

Take a position, either sitting or standing, that is as comfortable as possible so you will be able to fully relax. Sitting in a comfortable chair may work well; sometimes lying down will work better. My favorite nonpregnancy position for this exercise is the yoga position called the
Savasana
or "corpse" pose. This is done by lying flat on your back on the bed or floor; your legs about shoulderwidth apart; your arms straight out at your sides a little away from your body; your palms turned up. This position is very relaxing as it eases the tension in your neck in a way sitting doesn't. This position is good for the first trimester; the second and third trimester pregnancy require a modification of this pose as it is not recommended for women after their third month to lie on their backs for more than a few minutes. The position for later pregnancy is the one done during the deep relaxation exercise of the yoga class. Accomplish it by lying on your left side with a pillow under your head and another one under your right knee that lays slightly across the bottom of the left leg. More pillows can be used anywhere you need them to make yourself comfortable.

Once you have established your place and position, it is time to begin. The first part is the "breath unburden mode." For this part of the exercise, you may use the threepart breathing technique described in the yoga class, or you may use simple deep breathing. Begin by exhaling fully, then slowly allow the air to come back in.

Do three slow, deep breaths. Even just these three, slow breaths will have an effect on you. Tension ebbs, worries recede.

After you have done three plain breaths, begin to unburden. On each exhalation, unload all of your worries, on each inhalation, replace them with a new thought.

Exhale: "I am exhaling Jimmy hitting the baby over the head with the Power Ranger." Inhale: "I am inhaling this quiet moment for myself." Exhale: "I am exhaling the person in the car who yelled at me for cutting them off on the freeway.'' Inhale: "I inhale total Page 83

love and forgiveness." Exhale: "I am exhaling my inability to concentrate on the work I brought home from the office." Inhale: "I inhale peace and clarity."

Exhale whatever is bothering you and replace it with something better. If you can't always think of a new, better thing to inhale, pick one inhalation "topic" that means a lot to you and repeat that every time. Here are a few general suggestions: "I inhale total peace and acceptance." "I inhale contentment and clarity.''

Do as many of these breaths as you need to begin feeling peaceful and relaxed, taking perhaps five minutes or so. Let all of your worries go, and give yourself fully to this process of unburdening.

After you complete the unburdening, let your breathing return to normal. Remain still for a minute, enjoying the cessation of mental activity that comes from unloading all of your worries. It's amazing how just taking a moment out of your day to consciously address and let go of what has been bothering you can make you feel so much more relaxed.

In this relaxed state, with your minds so still and calm, begin to ask yourself questions. This is the time to think about your birth and to ask yourself how you would like it to be. This is also the time to begin addressing any fears you might have. In this quiet state, consider you fears. Do they come from doubts about your ability, or ignorance of the birth process? Have other people been telling you how terrible their births were? What are the origins of your fears? Try to distinguish between what is making you feel afraid, and what is making you feel warned. Listen closely. If it is fear that is talking, remind yourself that birth is natural and normal, and not something that you need to fear. Remind yourself that you are preparing mentally, physically, and emotionally now, to be able to go through this process. You do not need to be afraid of birth, but you do need to listen closely. An inner urging that may appear as fear, may instead be your instincts telling you something.

I am one of six children, five of whom were born naturally, none of whom were born at home. My mother had always Page 84

been interested in home birth, but never had access to it until her last baby. When she became pregnant for the sixth time at age thirtyseven, we had a doctor and a midwife in our community who were both capable and willing to attend home births. It appeared that my mother's chance for a home birth had come. She and my father were very excited, anticipating the new addition and this new experience of birth.

A couple of months into the pregnancy, however, my mother begin to have misgivings; she had a deep sense she would be better off in the hospital. She discussed this with her doctor who said she was certainly healthy enough to have the baby at home, but that it was very important for her to feel completely comfortable with the decision. She recommended my mother spend some quiet time considering both options. Each time my mother would consider these options she would feel resistance to the idea of giving birth at home even though, theoretically and philosophically, she agreed with home birth. From this "sense" she made her decision to go to the hospital. Once made, she felt very comfortable with her decision.

When my sister was born, she had a condition that required she be in the Intensive Care Unit for three days. One of her lungs wasn't working, and her blood sugar level was so low, she nearly didn't make it. Immediate medical intervention was the only way she was able to survive.

I have told you this story not to add one more "horror" story to the database illustrating how scary birth can be. I've told you this so you will understand the importance of listening to and following your instincts, even when they don't agree with what you philosophically believe. By listening carefully, you will know long before your birth what environment is right for you, who you would like to be present, and what "props" or "aids" you would like to have available at your birth, all by asking yourself these questions and then waiting for the quiet responses.

I knew home birth was right for me, without a doubt in my mind. Waterbirth was the same way; I just knew that it was the ideal environment for me to birth in. Tuning in to your

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instincts should allow you to make the choice that is right for you. Be open to everything, and do what you feel the most comfortable with.

After you have done the TimeOut exercise a few times to become familiar with it, you can even bring a pen and paper to your quiet space. As you ask yourself questions, write the answers down. This way you will have it written exactly as it was answered, without having to try to remember it.

The last part of this exercise is to create something new. You have already unburdened yourself of all the things that were bothering you, and you have spent some time asking questions, learning about what is important to you. Now, take advantage of this focused time to create.

Think of how you would like your birth to be. Imagine peace and serenity, power and quiet confidence. Imagine and feel that you are fully able to birth your baby.

Dwell on the feeling of being capable and allpowerful. This is where your strength is: in knowing and believing that you
can
do it. The strength and confidence that you feel now will be there for you during birth. Get used to this feeling. During your birth, everything else around you will serve only to remind you of this quiet strength. The strength itself is yours.

The more you do this exercise, the easier it will become to release what is bothering you, to get in touch with your instincts, and to remind yourself where your strength lies. From practicing this often, the sensation of inner knowledge and confidence will begin to permeate your life, becoming familiar and readily available to you once labor commences and your baby is on the way.

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Chapter 17—

Tree Movement Dance

Movement is very helpful during pregnancy, not only in keeping you fit, but also in keeping you in touch with your instincts. Often your body will react instinctually without your mind even being aware of it, making movement an effective way to tap into your instincts. Movement is also an important aspect of feeling powerful during your birth, making feeling free to move an important thing to become familiar with in anticipation of your birth.

One simple, effective way of establishing a connection with your instinctual self and becoming familiar with moving instinctually is through "Free Movement Dance."

Pick some music, anything you like, but make it something that inspires you to move. As the music plays, begin by centering yourself, standing firmly on both feet, your posture erect, your arms hanging loose at your sides. Sway slowly back and forth a few times, loosening everything up. Do a few neck and shoulder rolls, arm circles, and wrist rotations.

Then begin "moving." Not a specific form of movement; the idea is not necessarily to "dance," but simply to move, without focus or form, just feeling your body. Pay attention to each part individually. How does your arm feel? Where is it tight? Where is it loose? What parts are weak? What parts are strong? Is there specific tension anywhere? Lift your arm, rotate it, do whatever "feels" best, whatever you feel inclined to do.

Pay attention to each part of your body as you move, and then consider your body as a whole. During pregnancy, when Page 87

your rapidly changing body can feel so foreign, this type of simple movement allows you to note the changes that are taking place, leading to an easier acceptance of those changes. If you get a BraxtonHicks contraction during this exercise (intermittent painless uterine contractions occuring every ten to twenty minutes), as you often will during movement, use it to experiment with what positions feel best during the contraction; try squatting, or leaning over a chair. Once it goes, experiment to see what will allow you to release your tension more readily. Take a few deep breaths, shake out your arms, wiggle your legs, roll your hips around a few times. Get used to how it feels to release your tension, as well as how best to go through the tension of the contractions.